Pride Mates (24 page)

"I hate the Collar. Kim, I hate it so much. It hurts us when we so much as think about the way we used to be. One surge of adrenaline and it's giving us pain. You can't know what that's like. Always living in fear of the pain."

"You're right. I don't know."

"Being free of it..." Liam slid his fingers and thumb around the mark where the Collar had been, his wild smile emerging. "It's a joyous thing, love.

I can do anything I want, and no one can stop me."

"Not even me?"

"No. That's the trouble."

"Sean said you weren't like this before--before you all took the Collar, I mean."

"Not this out of control. Not with twenty years of need falling on me at once. But it
was
like this too. We were strong and free, and those few who knew about us were in awe of us. Even the Fae acknowledged our strength, that we no longer served their whims. That's what rankles most--the Fae helped to bind us. They've always wanted to bind us." Anger danced in his eyes, lines pulling the sides of his mouth. "We hate them for it."

"What about humans?" Kim made herself ask.

"Human beings are weak, short-lived. No threat." Liam's eyes eased back to the blue she'd fallen in love with. "The one I'm lying on now is so beautiful. And I love her."

"I'll help you escape, Liam. I want you to be free. Don't find the Collar.

Please."

Liam closed his eyes again, tight. He shuddered, lips shaking, as though wave after wave of panic ripped through him.

After a long time, he opened his eyes again, and something in them had been defeated. "No, love. They need me here. And I never, ever want to wake up in the morning knowing that I hurt you."

Kim touched his face. The anguish in his voice a moment ago when he'd said he hated the Collar had been real. He hadn't mentioned his loathing before this, but Shifters were strong and could resign themselves to pain, and he'd probably seen no use in voicing his rage to Kim. Having the Collar off, feeling the pain evaporate for the first time in twenty years, must be incredible for him. She wasn't sure how he could even contemplate putting it back on.

"No one would blame you if you went," she said. "Dylan would take over again, like before, and Sean would still be Guardian. They'll look after Connor and everyone else. You know that."

"I'd blame me."

"But free, you could start working on how to liberate the rest of your kind."

Liam kissed her forehead. "No, love. Free I'd be thinking of only myself and how good it felt to be away from all this. I'd start despising them for being weak, find myself a pride of ferals and try to take over. A wonderful Shifter-man I'd be."

"You can't know that. Like you said, all these urges are built up. Maybe in time--"

"And maybe not." His voice went hard, and he rolled off Kim and to his feet. "We find the Collar."

Kim remained on the floor, staring up at his hard body. He was beautiful--firm muscle, broad shoulders, chest dusted with dark hair, now damp with sweat. His skin was covered with scratches from the fight, but they were healing, even the deepest ones only angry red lines. The worst wound was around his neck, where his Collar had been.

As he forced himself to turn from Kim to look for the Collar, Kim knew that Fergus had never understood just how strong Liam was. He'd made the choice to give up his freedom to stay with his family and help them in their captivity. Fergus had sacrificed others in his cause; Liam was sacrificing himself, just as he had when he'd stepped forward and taken the whipping to spare Connor pain.

Kim got reluctantly to her feet, trying to brush off the worst of the dirt she'd rolled in. Liam was already looking, quick gaze darting everywhere as he skirted the dust in the corner that had been Fergus. He didn't show much remorse about killing his clan leader, but Fergus had been nuts. Also, she knew the man wouldn't have gone meekly home, promising to stop his experiments:
I'm sorry, Liam, you're right. I've been a bad Shifter.

Kim thought about Fergus's mates, and the offspring Fergus had mentioned. Would they mourn him? Would they try to exact revenge on Liam or move on with their lives? What would Liam, as clan leader, do to them?

Would all of those Shifters down in San Antonio accept him without rancor?

This would be interesting to watch--
interesting
being a euphemism for
scary
.

Behind her, Liam said, "Here it is."

She swung back to find Liam holding the thin silver and black chain as if it was a poisonous snake. Kim chewed her lip as he gripped the ends, one plain, one with the Celtic knot, in his white-knuckled fists.

"Will it work?" she asked. "It's not broken?"

"Once it's on me again, it should. Justin said that Brian's experiments let him figure out how to unfuse the Collars from us, not disable the chips inside. He hadn't got that far, yet." Liam took a long breath. "This will hurt me, Kim. You should go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Maybe I just don't want you seeing me weak and pathetic, love. A Shifter's got his pride."

"Liam, I've seen you strong, crazed, violent, angry, happy, sad, and far gone in passion. I love every single one of those, especially the last one. Did you know your pupils widen when you come? It's like you want to take all of me in, forever. It's very sexy."

"Is it, now? Well, this won't be. It wasn't pretty the first time I put on a Collar, and I don't imagine this will be much better."

Kim folded her arms. "I'm not leaving. I'm your
mate
, remember? In the traditional human wedding ceremony, we promise to stick together for better or worse. That means not just when everything's pretty, but when it's bad, very bad."

"I'm thinking there's no line in there about watching your Shifter mate take his Collar."

"Not last time I checked, but the idea is the same."

Liam looked down at the Collar, chest rising sharply. "I can't lie to you, Kim. It's a bit easier knowing you're near me." He looked up, his eyes clear, dark blue, full of fear and full of love. "Wish me luck."

"I love you," Kim said.

A hint of his warm, wicked smile touched his mouth. "Love you too, sweetheart."

He studied the Collar a long moment, then took another sharp breath and lifted the chain to his throat.

Liam's muscles tightened as the Collar settled against his neck. Kim had no idea how the thing fastened, but as he touched the bare end to the Celtic knot, she heard a loud click, and then Liam screamed.

Cords stood out on his neck, and his entire body arched backward. He balled his fists and clenched his teeth, fighting the agony.

Kim rushed to him. Shifters comforted and helped each other with touch--maybe she could ease him a little bit if she could hold him. Liam thrashed as spasms racked his body, his screams becoming hoarse cries.

She reached for him. "Liam."

Liam focused on her, his eyes white-blue. "No, Kim. Stay back."

"You need me." Kim grabbed his wrists, but he snapped them away from her.

"I said
stay back."

"And I said, you
need
me."

Kim darted between his hands and slid her arms around his sweating waist. His skin was ice-cold. She rubbed his back, trying to warm him.

"Kim, no."

"You need me," she repeated firmly.

Liam drew breath after shuddering breath. He stood stiffly, body shaking at the same time. Then with a cry of agony, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck.

How long they stood like that--arms locked around each other, Liam rocking in pain--Kim didn't know. She held him while his hot tears dropped to her shoulder, while he kissed her neck and held her as if he'd never let her go.

Kim heard shouting outside. She lifted her head to see that the warehouse had grown darker, the rain still pelting but more softly now, the storm over. Flashlights cut through the gloom, and then the tall forms of Sean and Dylan emerged out of the darkness. Others trailed behind them--Glory, Ellison, Connor, Nate, and Spike.

Dylan played his flashlight on the two of them in the middle of the warehouse, Liam filthy and naked, Kim in rumpled clothes and probably just as filthy.

She called to them, "He put the Collar back on and the pain is tearing him up."

Dylan approached, but the others hung back. Liam managed to lift his head, his eyes filled with incredible pain. "Dad."

Dylan stopped just shy of Liam, eyes troubled. "Do you want me, son?"

"Of course he wants you," Kim said. "You're his dad."

"He's clan leader now," Dylan said. "And pride leader. He can reject me if he wants."

"He won't." Kim shook her head. "He told me once that he wouldn't fight you because he loves you."

"That was before," Dylan said.

"Doesn't matter. People's status might change, but love stays the same."

Dylan opened his mouth to argue, but Connor jerked away from Ellison, who was trying to hold him back. The lanky boy charged past Dylan and threw his arms around both Liam and Kim. "Damn it, we thought Fergus would kill you," he sobbed.

The others tensed, Dylan taking a step back.

Liam looked up at Connor, his eyes wet. Connor held him tighter, and Liam's eyes flicked from feral white to beautiful blue. He wrapped an arm around Connor and pulled him close.

Like water released from a dam, the others flowed to them. Dylan clamped his arms around Liam and Connor, gathering them in. Sean laid down his sword and joined the group hug, followed by Glory, Ellison, and to Kim's astonishment, both of Fergus's thugs.

Kim's eyes filled as Sean leaned his head into Liam's neck. Kim could feel the warmth, the caring, in the huddle, heard the soothing words they whispered to each other. She was squished between Dylan and Liam, Ellison and Connor. She started to giggle. "A Kim sandwich."

Ellison laughed his big, booming Texas laughter. "Sounds good. Let's eat."

"You are so disgusting," Glory said to him. She had her arms firmly around Dylan's waist.

Ellison gave Glory a big kiss on the cheek. "You love it, darling. I say we all blow this place and go get shit-faced drunk."

"Damn straight," Spike said.

Liam's immediate family remained silent. Kim felt the energy flowing between them, love that had kept them alive and together all these years.

And now they wanted her to be part of it.

"Drunk," Liam rasped. "You don't know how good that sounds."

The group began to part, slowly, smiling the unembarrassed smiles of people who'd shared a happy experience. Sean rubbed Liam lightly on the back and moved to pick up first his sword and then Liam's clothes.

Connor gave Liam one last squeeze, then backed off, wiping his eyes.

Dylan was the last to leave. He held Liam's arms and looked straight into his eyes.

"Are you all right, Liam?"

"I will be."

"I know you will. You've been moving toward this moment all your life.

It's yours now."

Liam put his hands on his father's shoulders. "With you at my back, Dad, there's nothing we can't do."

Dylan relaxed, as though he'd still been waiting for Liam's acceptance.

"I'll be there." He pulled Liam down to him and pressed a kiss to Liam's forehead. He finally turned away, eyes full.

Liam reached for Kim's hand. "Are you all right? Did I hurt you, love?"

"I'm resilient." Kim kissed his lips, and Liam crushed her to him in a long, satisfying hug. "Let's go home," she whispered.

"Are you up to the walk?" Sean asked, handing Liam his clothes.

Liam hugged his T-shirt and jeans to his chest and looked around at the assembly, a hint of the old glint in his eye. "Are you telling me that none of you thought to bring wheels?"

"No," Connor said. "As soon as the storm let up, we ran out here."

"What, you were thinking you'd trundle me back in a wheelbarrow, all hurt and bloody? This is the planning of my friends and family."

"I'll run and get my car," Kim said. "There isn't room for everyone, but that's all right. I can take Liam home, at least."

Liam gripped her wrist. "No. Don't go yet."

His eyes were desperate. Kim gave him a reassuring smile and a little hug. "I won't leave you."

Glory swayed forward. She was wearing sturdy boots for once, though they had three-inch heels. "I'll get it." She plucked the keys out of Kim's fingers and gave Kim a big tooth-filled smile. "I'll take good care of it.

Promise."

Liam lay in his bed in heavy sleep next to Kim for about four hours after they got home. Then he woke up, threw back the covers, and declared he needed to go to the bar.

"What for?" Kim demanded, not liking the absence of his warmth in the small bed.

"I've taken too many days off. The paperwork in the office must be a mess."

"Liam."

Liam stopped in the act of leaning over for his pants, his delectable backside in full view. "I'm all right, love. Shifters heal fast."

Maybe their bodies did. "Why do you work at the bar at all? You don't seem to live paycheck to paycheck. And how did Fergus afford all that artwork in his basement? How did he even afford that huge basement?"

Liam sat back down, his eyes a mystery. "Shifters live a long time. We accumulate things."

"Like money and Old Masters paintings?"

"Like money and Old Masters paintings. Which Dad thinks should be sold to a museum."

"How are you going to explain where you got them?"

"We won't." Liam reached for his jeans again and pulled them up.

"There are dealers who will work with us discreetly."

Kim sat cross-legged against the headboard. "Before I came down here the first time, I thought I knew every little thing about Shifters. I didn't know jack, did I?"

"No." Liam's smile flashed in the harsh lamplight. "I thought I knew all about humans. You taught me so much." He stopped. "I'm going to miss you, love."

Kim's heart skipped a beat, then gave a hard bang. "What do you mean, 'miss me'?"

Liam sank to the bed again, one blue-jeaned leg folded under him. The red gashes on his torso had closed, the heavy bruising already fading. A dark swirl of hair covered his chest and pointed to his navel, the indentation into which she'd slid her finger the night he'd first brought her up to his room.

"I want you to go home," he said. "Go back to living your own life."

She stared. "Hold on. For days you insist I stay here, whether I like it or not. Tonight, after all that's happened, not to mention the incredible sex, you're telling me to
go?"

"Fergus is dead. His followers have gone home. His threat is removed.

No one will be taking off any more Shifter Collars."

"You sound very sure."

"I am sure. I lead the clan now, which means our pride is now first. No other Shifter will dare harm you, whether they approve of you or not. My protection is on you, and no other Shifter can override that."

Kim slid out of bed. She wasn't wearing anything, but at the moment, it didn't seem important. "What about this mate thing? That's all gone now too?"

Liam smiled. "That will never be gone. We've been mated under the sun and moon, the mating recognized by the clan. We'll always be mated."

"So what does that mean?"

"For Shifters, it means I take no other mate. For humans, it means--nothing. A Shifter mating isn't valid in the human world; it's not marriage. I remember you telling me that."

"I meant, what does it mean to
you?"

Liam looked away. "It means everything to me."

"Then why are you telling me to leave?"

Liam got to his feet, looked across the bed at her. "Because you can't stay. You've tried to pound it into my brain all this time why you can't. I'm a
Shifter
. I can love you with everything I've got, but I'll ruin you, and you know it. You'll lose your job, your friends, your respectability. I'm from the wrong side of the tracks, darling. Not from your world."

"It's not that simple--Shifters bad, humans good. I know that."

"You
do. But the rest of the world doesn't. Not yet. Maybe in another twenty years, when people are used to us. Right now, I love you enough not to keep you here."

Suddenly cold, Kim reached for a long T-shirt and dragged it over her head. It was one of Liam's, too big for her and carrying his scent.

"Don't come over all altruistic on me, Liam Morrissey. Like you haven't put me through enough hell already. You made me love you, damn it.
Really
love you. Now you're saying, 'Thanks, Kim, go away'?"

"Do you think this is easy for me?" Liam asked. "When my Collar was off, I wanted nothing more than to lock you away upstairs and never let you go. No matter how much you screamed or begged or told me off, which is more likely what you'd do. I wanted to imprison you here with me. Mine.

Forever."

"Your Collar is back on, now," Kim said.

"And that fact cancels everything out? It doesn't. I'm still feral. I always have been, always will be." Liam tapped the Collar around his bruised neck.

"This keeps it down so I don't destroy myself, my people, and everyone I love. All Shifters are like me. Wild beasts in captivity. Not domesticated.

There's a difference."

Kim folded her arms. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Then you're foolish. You saw me. I was ready to kill a child, my own brother, my father."

"But you didn't."

"Only because Fergus distracted me, love. Thank the Goddess he did, because he drew my fury. If he hadn't been there for me to fight, I would have destroyed everyone I loved."

"So you won't take your Collar off again," Kim said. "End of worry."

"But Fergus was right. We need to be free of the Collars someday. He was in too much of a hurry, but he wasn't wrong."

Kim balled her fists. "Make up your mind. Do you want the Collar on or off?"

"Shifters are getting stronger, love. We were dying off before, which is why we needed to capitulate with the humans and take the Collars. To let us live again, regroup, regain our strength. When we're powerful enough again, we'll rid ourselves of our chains, and be who we are supposed to be."

"And you think I have no place in that world?"

"No." Liam stood with his hands on his hips, his body still, eyes dark.

"You're lying to me," Kim said.

"I'm not."

"I'm not as good as you are at reading body language, but even I can tell you're coming up with excuses for sending me away. You think it's for my own good."

Liam whirled suddenly and punched the headboard. It cracked, wood splintering. "You're maddening, Kim, did you know that? Of course it's for your own good. You have your career, your life, your pretty house, your friends. I want you to have that. Find yourself a normal man, not one who might go crazy on you, not one who has to pretend to be a bar manager while he runs Shiftertown. Go home and be human."

"Just like that?"

"Yes. Go, Kim. Please."

"Doesn't it matter that I love you?" she asked, throat hurting.

"Yes, that matters. It matters a lot." Liam reached across the bed and touched the bruise on her lip. "And it's all the more reason I want you gone. I need to know I can't hurt you, ever again."

Kim stood still under his touch, her heart constricting. She'd broken up with men before, had sometimes done the breaking herself. She recognized Liam's look, the implacable expression of someone who'd made the painful decision to walk away and wouldn't be talked out of it.

"I don't want to go," she said. Kim knew how pathetic she sounded, but she couldn't stop herself.

"It makes me glad that you don't want to." Liam touched her lip once more, then took up his shirt and boots from the floor. "But it's all the more reason you need to."

He gave her another long look, as though he were memorizing her, then turned and walked out. He shut the door behind him, and a few minutes later, the front door's banging shook the house. Kim heard his motorcycle rev, heard its throb as he drove off down the street, the noise dying into the distance.

Kim stood by the bed for a long time, staring at the closed door. Tears choked her throat, but her burning eyes wouldn't shed any.

She heard the others downstairs, talking, their voices inquiring.

Wondering where Liam was off to? Or had he told them he was sending Kim home?

Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to get out of there. Kim dressed with numb fingers, packed what things she'd brought here, and carried them down to her Mustang.

The last thing she saw as she backed out of the Morrissey driveway was Connor standing under the glow of the front porch light, his arms folded, a look of vast sadness on his face.