Pride & Consequence Omnibus (13 page)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

H
ER
WORK
ON
the first three of the show houses was finished, and there was no real need for her to be here at this hour of the morning, straightening cushions, checking on the arrangement of flowers and the drape of curtains, but Keira was desperate to keep herself busy. Jay was due back from Mumbai today.

Was she going to be strong enough not to betray any reaction to his return? He had, after all, made the situation plain enough to her. From the moment he had questioned her about her virginity to the moment he had left for Mumbai he had treated her with clinical detachment. She, meanwhile, had gone through hurt to anger and back to hurt again, and it had been a relief of sorts when he had actually left.

At least with him gone she had been able to get on with her work without the fear of what his proximity might do to her self-control.

But soon he would be back. And last night her dreams had been filled with her longing for him—so much so, in fact, that her body now ached physically and tormentingly for him.

He had emailed her to tell her that he was bringing with him the art director of a new swish homes magazine, with a view to the magazine doing a feature on the development— complete with photographs of her interiors and an interview with her on modern interior design and décor.

Keira had dressed appropriately for the interview in one of her favourite silk linen outfits, a softly styled cream skirt teamed with a toning strappy top under a wrap cardigan. She had completed her outfit with a pair of designer sunglasses and a fashionably large leather bag—a gift from an up-and-coming young designer whose apartment she had once styled for a photoshoot.

She had read recently in
Vogue
that the handbag was now a top ‘must have’ fashion item.

Would Jay be pleased with the work she had done? She tried to see the rooms through his eyes instead of her own. Her hands were trembling slightly as she straightened the piece of polished wood artwork she had placed on the glass-topped coffee table. What was she going to do if he didn’t like it? Burst into tears? Hardly.

What she wanted him to see was his in-control interior designer, not a needy, over-emotional woman who had fallen in love with him.

She couldn’t stay here all day. She needed to return to the palace. Jay hadn’t been specific in his email as to the timing of his return.

She was just on the point of leaving the show house when a four-wheel-drive drew up outside, and Jay and another man climbed out of it.

Keira felt as though her heart had physically stopped beating, as though the earth itself had stopped moving—because, like her, it was so focused on this one man that nothing else could exist.

The ache that had taken possession of her heart now spread to the rest of her body, so that every part of her that had touched him or been touched by him longed violently for that physical contact once more.

He was coming towards her, turning his head so that he could look at her. To make sure that she still understood what he had told her? Keira forced her lips into a professional smile, no different for Jay than it was for the man to whom he was introducing her, who was now smiling at her with male warmth and interest that threw into sharp relief Jay’s coldness towards her.

‘My friends call me Bas,’ he told her, ‘and I hope that you will do the same. I have heard a great many complimentary things about your work, and I am looking forward to featuring it in our magazine.’

‘I expect Jay has already told you that part of his remit was that he wanted me to use local products as much as possible?’ Keira asked him as she stepped to one side to allow the two men to enter the show house.

‘Do you feel that interfered with your own creativity?’

‘No, not at all. Using local products and focusing on the nature of the land around the development was very much in keeping with my own way of working. I enjoyed finding different ways to stick to Jay’s remit, but at the same time ensure that the houses reflect the lifestyles and tastes of the people who will buy the properties.’

Keira stopped speaking to allow the art director to look at the décor and inspect what she had done.

‘I’m impressed,’ he told her. ‘Very impressed. This toile, for instance...’

‘Locally made and designed.’

‘Jay, with your permission I’d like to make Keira and the work she’s done here a lead feature in our magazine. In fact I’d love to devote an entire magazine to what’s going on here, with interviews with the local craftsmen, articles on the history of those crafts, that kind of thing. What’s happening here really is revolutionary. Now that I’ve seen what Keira’s done I’m really blown away.’

Jay was frowning, and Keira wondered if perhaps he wasn’t as pleased with the interiors as she had hoped.

‘What I need to do is get a crew up here and some interviews set up. I know you want the feature to coincide with the launch of the development via your own advertising. You said you’d be launching officially at the World Trade Fair in six months’ time? Keira, I’ll want to do an in-depth interview with you, and I’d like to get an idea of how you work. Would it be okay with you if I attached myself to you and followed you around for the next couple of days?’

Jay was frowning even more now.

‘Well, if Jay doesn’t mind...’ she told Bas helplessly.

‘Of course he doesn’t mind. That’s what he’s brought me down here for—isn’t it, Jay?’

Ignoring the other man, Jay turned to Keira and said tersely, ‘Come and see me in my office at the palace in an hour’s time. I want to go through a few things with you. I’ll take you to your hotel now, Bas, and leave you there to get yourself settled in.’

The art director smiled warmly at Keira.

‘It’s only a flying visit for me this time, but I’m already looking forward to coming back and getting to spend more time with you.’

* * *

At least someone had admired the work she had done, even if that someone wasn’t Jay, Keira thought sadly as she waited for the houseboy to come back from telling Jay that she was here to see him.

She had arrived early for their appointment, and now she was feeling slightly sick and very nervous. The only thing that was keeping her going was her pride—and her determination to prove to Jay that she could be utterly professional.

Rakesh had returned and was asking her to follow him.

With every step that took her closer to Jay’s office and Jay himself her apprehension increased, until she would have given anything to turn and run away. What if he told her that he knew how she felt about him? What would she do then? How would she survive that humiliation?

Rakesh had knocked on the door and was pushing it open for her. It was too late now for her to run away. Keira stepped into the room, and then froze as she realised that Jay was standing so near to the door that she had virtually walked straight into him. When he reached past her to shut the door she felt close to dizziness with the effort of not allowing her body to react to his proximity. It was like depriving her lungs of oxygen, leaving her feeling dangerously weak and off balance. She had missed him so much. She ached for him so much. But she must not feel like this—she must not
be
like this.

‘Has Bas asked you to go to bed with him yet?’

The words, delivered in a harsh, flat and yet distinctly antagonistic voice, shocked her out of her painful thoughts.

‘No, of course not.’

‘There is no
of course not
about it,’ Jay told her. ‘He wants you. He made that perfectly obvious.’

This kind of discussion was the last thing she had expected, and she had no idea how to deal with it.

‘If you’re concerned that I might prejudice the success of your development by behaving unprofessionally—’ she began, but Jay cut ruthlessly across what she was saying.

‘You don’t want him, then?’ he demanded.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Do you want me?’

It was several betraying seconds before she could find the breath to speak.

‘No.’

‘Do you want me to
make
you want me?’

Now she was panicking. ‘I’m not staying here to listen to any more of this.’

He reached the door before her, blocking her escape, leaving her with nowhere to go other than into his arms.

His kiss was fiercely possessive and even more fiercely sexual, with the tip of his tongue as it probed the soft line of her lips mirroring the hard urgency of his erection. His hands were caressing her breasts, shaping her body to his own. A few more heartbeats and she would be totally lost, not caring one bit about the promises she had made to herself.

‘I want you in my bed.’

Keira made herself resist the lure of his words.

‘Because you think another man wants me?’ she challenged him.

‘No—although I admit seeing him looking at you the way he was made me decide that I’d better not waste any time putting my proposition to you.’

The word ‘proposition’ struck a chill note against
Keira’s heart and her overheated senses.

Jay had released her now, and was telling her bluntly, ‘Sex in my office has never had much appeal for me, but if I don’t put some distance between us I can’t promise you that it isn’t going to happen. The next time you and I have sex I want to have the time and the privacy to ensure that it’s a very special and memorable experience—and for all the right reasons.’

Her heart was thumping unsteadily now, her body reacting to the promise contained in his words in a way that made total nonsense of her vow to herself to remain in control.

‘You as good as said that you aren’t into virgins,’ she reminded him.

‘You aren’t a virgin any more. Look, the reality is that whether we like it or not there’s a sexual attraction between us that I’m prepared to admit is far stronger than I’d allowed for. It’s certainly strong enough to have kept me awake at night wanting you whilst I’ve been away—wanting only you. We both know the score: no long-term relationship, no commitment, no emotional trauma. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be bed partners. My guess is that you want me every bit as much as I want you, and my proposition to you is that we give ourselves a break and ride the wave together rather than fight against it. The kind of intense sexual hunger we’re experiencing burns itself out quickly once its satisfied. Right now by resisting it all we’re doing is feeding it. Far better to enjoy it, and one another, for the short duration of its lifetime—don’t you agree?’

Oh, yes, she agreed. She’d always loved living dangerously—
not
! Keira couldn’t think of anything more calculated to destroy her than becoming Jay’s ‘bed partner’. She knew that as soon as he stopped wanting her physically he would want her out of his life. She knew that he felt nothing whatsoever emotionally for her, that all he wanted from her was sex. And yet, shamefully, she was desperately tempted to agree—just to have the pleasure he was offering her and the memories it would give her.

If she refused, how was she going to feel ten years from now? Twenty years from now and more? Knowing that she could have had this time with him but had refused it out of fear of the emotional pain she knew must come with it. And wasn’t there another concern she ought to consider? a sly inner voice pointed out to her. If she refused mightn’t Jay start to suspect that she was refusing because she had fallen in love with him?

‘Have dinner with me tonight,’ Jay suggested. ‘You can give me your answer then.’

‘Very well.’

Keira marvelled that she could sound so calm and matter of fact.

‘We’ll have dinner in my private quarters, here at the palace.’

Now she was panicking—and excited, and aroused...

* * *

What did one wear to have dinner with a man when that dinner was a prelude to that man taking you to bed? It wasn’t a situation Keira had ever been in before. She had never had cause to dress for seduction. Images of low-cut balcony bras trimmed with lace and itsy-bitsy pieces of silk and lace masquerading as knickers floated through her head. Her underwear was of the smooth, no-VPL nude colour variety, far more functional than it was sexy.

She remembered that she had seen a shop in the bazaar, selling ethereally delicate and diaphanous harem pants and beaded bra tops. Would Jay appreciate her dressing up like a Bollywood dancing girl? Somehow she thought he was too sophisticated for that kind of obvious ‘bedroom’ outfit. So what did a woman who was going to be a man’s non-permanent sexual partner wear pre-foreplay? Was there a set ‘uniform’? Tailored clothes and no underwear
à
la
Sharon Stone, perhaps? Keira didn’t think she was quite ready to be quite so ‘up front’, as it were.

In the end, having decided that for her own sense of self-respect she should be herself—or at least as much herself as she could be given that Jay must not know how she felt about him—Keira opted for a simple loose-fitting cream dress and a pair of cream sandals. Her skin gleamed silkily with the light tan it had developed, and since this was definitely not a business meeting Keira left her hair down, to swing softly on her shoulders. She wasn’t a fan of excessive make-up, using only a light touch of mascara and lipstick, and she was glad that she had opted for a simple casual appearance when unexpectedly Jay himself came to escort her to dinner. She discovered, on opening the door to him, that he too was dressed casually, wearing an unstructured linen shirt open at the throat and a pair of jeans.

It was hard not to show what she was feeling, and even harder to look as relaxed as Jay himself obviously was as he smiled at her and told her, ‘I thought we’d walk back through the gardens.’ He looked down at her feet as he spoke, presumably to check that she was wearing suitable garden-walking footwear, and yet Keira felt the most intense surge of sensual heat flood through her as he focused on her bare toes with their pale pink–polished nails.

He couldn’t possibly know that she had been reading the
Kama Sutra
since he had mentioned it to her—any more than he could know how much her sexual senses had been awakened by what she had read and the realisation of the many opportunities the human body provided for shared sexual pleasure. It had been a painful learning curve in many ways, reinforcing for her both how much she loved and wanted Jay and how much it hurt knowing that she would never share those pleasures with him.