Priceless (12 page)

“Garlic,” she whispered happily. “Tomatoes. Oh, my God, what did you get? There was no sign over that door you slipped through.”

“The best pasta you will ever put in your mouth,” he told her. “Your place?”

She sniffed greedily even as she nodded. “And step on it,” she told him. “My mouth is watering.”

Mack gave her a sideways glance. “I gather Italian food ranks right up there with chocolate on your personal aphrodisiac scale.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Does this mean I’m going to get lucky this afternoon?” he inquired, his expression hopeful.

Beth considered the proposition for about fifteen seconds. “If there’s time,” she said conscientiously. “I do have to get back to work, you know. Peyton and Jason are covering for me now, but at some point people might start to wonder why I’m not on duty.”

Mack took the corner on two wheels and was parked behind her town house in three minutes flat.

“Ever consider trying out for NASCAR?” she asked as she got out, still clutching the cooler.

“Nah, too tame,” he teased. “I like the challenge of maneuvering through rush hour.”

“You just like a challenge, period,” she guessed.

“That, too.”

Even as she put the food on the kitchen table, she studied him closely. “Is that what I am, Mack? A challenge?”

Rather than the flip response she’d anticipated, he seemed to take the question seriously. “Not the way you mean,” he said eventually.

“How, then?”

“I’m not sure I can explain.”

Because his serious expression and tone told her this could be really important, she met his gaze. “Try,” she said.

His expression turned thoughtful, and he took his time answering. “Okay, here’s what I think. It’s never been about winning your heart or getting you into bed just to prove I could,” he told her. His gaze met hers. “In some weird way it’s been about seeing just how involved I dared to get before the panic set in.”

Beth wasn’t sure how to take that, wasn’t even sure she fully understood it. “And?”

He regarded her with a hint of surprise in his eyes. It was there in his voice, too. “Hasn’t happened yet,” he admitted.

Beth’s heart beat unsteadily at what he wasn’t saying. “Why do you suppose that is?”

Mack sighed then and finally looked away. “I don’t know, Beth. I honestly don’t know, but I will tell you this.” He once again looked directly into her eyes. “Considering the possibilities scares the hell out of me.”

Try as she might, Beth couldn’t shake that conversation as she went about her duties at the hospital that afternoon. What was Mack most afraid of? That she was winning his heart, despite all the defenses he’d erected around it? Or that even after all of the incredible sex and growing intimacy, he was incapable of feeling anything more?

Forget Mack for a minute. What did
she
want? The lines on that had blurred a lot lately, too. If only Destiny hadn’t planted that stupid item with Pete Forsythe. It was going to force them out into the real world before either of them was ready. And the real world had a way of taking the edge off the excitement, a way of stripping away pretenses and forcing an examination of the core feelings behind an involvement.

Wasn’t that what had happened to her before? That grant application, which had brought the real world smack into the middle of her relationship, had exposed wounds and clashing egos in a way that might otherwise never have happened. Not that she wasn’t grateful now to have made the discovery about her ex-fiancé’s competitiveness, insecurities and cruelty before they married, but it had been a bitter blow at the time.

She was very much afraid that her relationship with Mack wouldn’t weather this current storm any more smoothly.

When she opened the door to Tony’s room, she was surprised to find Mack there. She thought he’d left after dropping her off, but there he was, leafing through a comic book while Tony slept.

“Heavy reading?” she teased. “I’m beginning to think that’s why you keep coming around—because it gives you an excuse to read all those comics.”

“Afraid not,” he said, his gaze steady on hers. “You keep me coming around, Doc. I thought you understood that after the conversation we had earlier.”

She opened her mouth to respond, then caught a flicker of Tony’s eyelids that suggested he was playing possum and listening to every word. “We’ll finish this conversation later,” she told Mack.

“Aw, come on, Dr. Beth, it was just getting good,” Tony protested, opening his eyes.

Mack whirled around to stare at him. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I was, but then I woke up,” Tony said. He grinned impishly at Mack. “I knew you liked Dr. Beth. I could tell. I even told my mom.”

“You know, kid, my love life is none of your business,” Mack scolded.

“Why not?” Tony asked. “I thought we were all friends.”

“We are, but most adults like to figure things out for themselves,” Beth told him.

“But you guys are taking way too long,” Tony said.

“Says who?” Mack asked.

Tony gave him a feisty look. “Says me. You know I don’t exactly have forever.”

Tony uttered the horrific words with a blithe acceptance of the reality, but Mack looked as if someone had slugged him. Even Beth was taken aback by Tony’s matter-of-fact statement about his own prospects.

“You don’t know that,” she said fiercely, struggling against the tears stinging her eyes. She could not cry in front of Tony, or in front of Mack, for that matter. “I will not let you give up on yourself.”

Tony reached her hand. “It’s okay, Dr. Beth. I don’t blame you.”

“That’s not the point. You
are
going to get better, Tony. You need to believe that.”

Tony gave her a stubborn look. “It’s not like I want to die,” he said seriously. “But sometimes you just gotta face facts.”

“And the fact is that we don’t know what’s going to happen,” Beth said. “Only God knows that. And in the meantime, you have Peyton and me, your mom and Mack, and a whole lot of other people rooting for you.” Desperate to get through to him, she gestured toward a colorful mural that had been painted by the kids at his school and which hung now on the wall across from his bed. “Look at that. All of your classmates are behind you, too.”

Tony sighed wearily and lay back against the pil
lows. “I know, but sometimes it feels like it’s time to let go.” He looked plaintively at Mack. “You know what I mean?”

Though he was clearly as shaken as Beth, Mack moved to the edge of the bed and took Tony’s frail hand in his big one. “It takes a very brave person to fight this illness,” Mack told him quietly. “And, Tony, you’re the bravest person I ever met.” He glanced at Beth. “But there’s no shame in saying ‘enough’ if it gets to be too much. No one will blame you.”

Beth wanted to scream at Mack for saying such a thing, but she knew he was right, knew it was exactly what Tony needed to hear from his hero. She held her breath, praying he would say more, praying he would tell Tony that that time hadn’t yet come.

Mack gave Tony’s hand a squeeze and reached up to settle his cap more firmly on his bald head. “But you know what?” he said gently. “I’ve got to believe that Dr. Beth here knows what she’s talking about. It’s too soon to give up.”

A faint glimmer of hope lit Tony’s eyes. “You think so?”

“I really do,” Mack said. “I think there’s a lot more fight in you, Tony. And I promise you that I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. If the day comes when you can’t bear one more treatment or one more needle, you say the word. Okay?”

Tony nodded. “And you won’t let my mom be too sad?”

Mack cleared his throat, carefully avoiding Beth’s gaze. She could tell that he, too, was fighting tears.

“That’s the thing about moms,” Mack told him. “There’s no way to keep them from being sad, but they always, always understand.”

Tony struggled up and threw himself into Mack’s arms. “I love you,” he whispered.

Beth saw Mack’s arms tighten around the boy, but his words were muffled when he responded. She didn’t have to hear them, though, to know that he’d once more said exactly the right thing.

And in that moment of deepest despair, when her heart was breaking for Tony, she also felt it fill with something else and was finally forced to admit that she was wildly, madly—and totally unexpectedly—in love with Mack Carlton.

M
ack left Tony’s room half-blinded by tears he was struggling not to shed. Oblivious to everything, he strode down the hall, took the stairs two at a time and left the hospital, needing to escape from the overwhelming emotions, needing fresh air and…hell, he didn’t know what else. He’d never felt like this before, completely and utterly helpless. He hated discovering such weakness in himself.

He was also shocked to discover just how cleverly Tony had slipped past all of his defenses. What had begun as a good deed, what had continued as a way to keep seeing Beth, had turned into genuine affection for the boy. No, even more than that, he loved the feisty kid with the smart mouth and the brave heart. And today he’d fully realized for the first time that he actually could lose him.

He was halfway to his car when he finally heard
Beth’s cries and realized she’d been chasing after him the whole way. He stood in the parking lot and waited for her to catch up.

“I can’t talk about this,” he said flatly when she was still several yards away.

His warning apparently fell on deaf ears, because she faced him with a stubborn set to her jaw and compassion in her eyes.

“I know you’re upset by what happened in there,” she began. “Who wouldn’t be?”

“Beth, I told you, I am not discussing it,” he said again. He didn’t think he could bear it. He didn’t want the raw emotions reduced to words, didn’t want to hash it all out in a calm, reasonable way. Facts couldn’t possibly tell the story. Nothing she said, however hopeful, could give a guaranteed future to Tony.

“Mack, I know you must have a thousand thoughts running through your head about what just happened in there, but you handled it exactly right,” she continued, talking right over his objection. “You were wonderful. You were encouraging and reassuring, but you didn’t sugarcoat anything. Most important, you didn’t dismiss what Tony had to say. It’s not easy to hear, but Tony needs someone he can be honest with, someone who won’t flinch when he says what he’s really feeling. He is so lucky to have you.”

Lucky?
If she thought Tony was lucky in any way at all, much less just because Mack was around, she was crazy. Tony didn’t need Mack. He needed a miracle.

Trying to comprehend where she was coming from, Mack stared at her through his sunglasses. They were hardly necessary with dusk falling, but they were the only shield he had to keep her from seeing the despair
that must be in his eyes. Even so, he could tell that she understood, that she was desperately trying to reassure him, when it should have been the other way around. He should be the one bolstering her up. That conversation couldn’t have been easy for her to hear, either.

He drew in a deep breath and forced himself to speak. “You have no idea what it took for me not to sit there and curse God and medicine and everything else right there in front of him,” he admitted finally.

“Oh, but I do,” Beth said. “Don’t you think I feel like that a hundred times a day, a few thousand times a year? But I can’t focus on what’s going on with me. It’s only about the kids and what they’re feeling. The worst thing anyone can do is make them feel even more isolated by refusing to listen to their fears. Often, their parents don’t want to face the truth, so there’s this awful silence that just builds and builds. I think it’s worst of all when that silence is never broken and no one has ever had the chance to say goodbye.”

Mack sighed, recognizing the sorrow and regrets she must deal with every day. “Do you have any idea how much admiration and respect I have for you?” he asked, fighting the desire to reach for her because he was one more person needing her comfort. He couldn’t be sure how much strength she had to go around, and it wasn’t fair for him to be one of those demanding a share of that incredible emotional resource. He was hurting, but the kids and their parents must be in far worse shape. He needed to let her conserve her strength for them.

He met her gaze. “It’s not just that what you do is important, it’s that you handle it with such grace, the ups and, more importantly, the downs.”

“You haven’t been around to count the number of
mugs I go through in a year,” she told him, her expression rueful. “It’s a good thing my office is off the beaten path, since I break so much pottery.”

He knew she was trying to lighten the mood, but he felt even sadder at the admission of her lonely battle against desolation. “Does it help?”

“Not a bit.”

“Does anything?”

“The success stories,” she said at once. “Every tiny victory keeps me going till the next time.”

“Tony could use a victory about now,” Mack said, unable to keep the wistful note out of his voice.

“He’ll have it,” Beth said. “I truly believe that, Mack.”

“In your heart?” he asked, studying her intently. “Or because it’s the only way you can get out of bed in the morning?”

She sighed. “Maybe a little of both.” She searched his face. “Is there anything I can do for you? Would you like to come over for dinner? Or we could go to a movie, some action flick that will block out reality for a couple of hours.”

Mack shook his head. He could have used the comfort of her presence, maybe even needed it, but that need scared him. Like Beth, he was used to dealing with his emotions on his own. Of course, that usually meant ignoring them, but she didn’t need to know that.

Beth nodded, her expression filled with understanding. “Call me if you change your mind.”

“Thanks,” he said, then bent down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. He had to resist the urge to take more. “Get some sleep tonight. I’ll speak to you in the morning.”

He knew she was still there, watching him, her eyes
filled with concern, when he pulled out of the parking lot a few minutes later. He was tempted to go back and get her. He knew she was hurting as badly as he was. She was simply more accustomed to covering it.

If he weakened and went back, they could cling to each other, maybe even feel a little better for it, but in the end it wouldn’t be what either of them really needed tonight. What they truly needed was some glimmer of real hope for Tony.

Or the strength to bear it if they lost him.

Beth watched Mack drive off with her heart aching. She understood his need to go off by himself, but he looked so unbearably alone. On impulse, she reached in her pocket and pulled out her cell phone along with Melanie Carlton’s business card.

“Beth!” Melanie said cheerfully when she took the call. “I hadn’t expected to hear from you so soon.”

“Actually I called because I need a favor,” Beth told her. She explained what had happened with Tony and the way it had affected Mack. “Think you could get Richard to check on him? He said he wanted to be alone, but I think he could use his brother about now.”

“Absolutely,” Melanie said without hesitation. “Can you hold on a sec while I call Richard? Then you and I can make some plans. Something tells me you could use a friendly ear, too.”

“Thanks,” Beth said, grateful for the immediate understanding.

It was only a couple of minutes before Melanie came back on the line. “That’s taken care of,” she said briskly. “Richard’s already calling Ben, and then he’ll track Mack down. He won’t let Mack put them off.”

Beth sighed. “I knew I could count on you.”

“Anytime,” Melanie assured her. “And since the guys are going to be tied up, why don’t you join me for dinner? I imagine that Mack’s not the only one who needs cheering up.”

The invitation was unexpected and Beth was exhausted, but turning down this chance to get a better sense of the man she’d all but handed her heart to was too good to pass up. Besides, Melanie was exactly right. She was in desperate need of company. Once again she had the sense that Melanie was going to be a good friend.

“Tell me where and when,” she said.

“I’ll come to you. There’s a place in Georgetown Richard and I love.” She named a restaurant within a few blocks of Beth’s town house. “I could meet you there around six. Would that work?”

“It’s perfect.”

“And, Beth, just so you know, I won’t pry,” Melanie said. “Of course, if there’s anything you do want to tell me about you and Mack, I’ll be happy to listen.”

Beth laughed at Melanie’s feeble attempt to bank her obvious curiosity. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Well, hell,” Melanie said. “I’ll just have to ply you with alcohol till you forget my promise.”

“I knew it wasn’t going to last, anyway,” Beth told her.

“And yet you’ve still agreed to meet me,” Melanie retorted. “Brave woman.”

“Not so brave. Just confident I can handle you. Destiny might be another story.”

“Then I won’t suggest we include her,” Melanie teased. “Besides, just for once, it will feel good to know something that’s going on in this family before
she does. I swear the woman has eyes and ears everywhere.”

“Speaking of that, remind me to ask you about Pete Forsythe,” Beth said.

“Oh, that one’s so easy, I can tell you right now. You can blame Destiny for that item,” Melanie said confidently. “I’d stake my firstborn baby on that—something I don’t say lightly in my current condition.”

“Mack was equally sure it was Destiny. We tried to find her today, but she was cleverly absent every place we looked.”

Melanie chuckled. “I doubt that. I imagine she bribed the help to say she was out. Everyone who works for her adores her. They’ll all protect her with their dying breath—even from her own family. I wonder what it’s like to instill that kind of loyalty in people.”

“She’s obviously a remarkable woman.”

“Remarkable and sneaky,” Melanie confirmed. “You’re definitely no match for her, especially not when you’re in this vulnerable condition. We’ll work on toughening you up over dinner. I’ll see you soon.”

Feeling better than she had all day, Beth hung up and headed back to Tony’s room for one last check. She always liked to make sure that Maria Vitale was there before she left the hospital for the night.

She cracked open the door to the room and saw that Maria and Tony were playing a quiet game of Scrabble. They didn’t see her, so she closed the door gently and leaned against it, relieved that she could escape without another harrowing confrontation.

Tomorrow, with all of its uncertainties, would come soon enough.

The minute he heard from Richard, Mack suspected that Beth was behind it. Richard never called out of the blue to suggest a guys’ night out, not since he’d gotten married, and rarely enough before that. As for Ben, it took a crisis of major proportions or a command from Destiny to get him away from the isolated farm in Middleburg where he was living these days.

Because Richard presented the evening’s plans as a fait accompli, Mack accepted grudgingly and drove to the crowded chain restaurant that was partway between Alexandria and Middleburg, smack in the middle of what had once been the region’s wildly successful high-tech corridor.

“Why are we here?” he asked, wincing at the noise level as he found his older brother at a table in the back. Ben hadn’t yet arrived.

“Because Ben wanted Chinese and I figured he deserved some consideration for agreeing to drive in on short notice,” Richard explained. “Besides, it’s impossible to have a heavy conversation in a place like this. We’ll be reduced to idle chitchat.” He gave Mack an intense look. “I thought you might prefer that.”

Mack nodded. “The more mundane, the better,” he agreed, relieved that his brother knew him so well.

“Sure you don’t want to tell me what’s going on in your life before Ben gets here?”

“Nope,” Mack said firmly. “What I want is a drink.”

Richard immediately beckoned for their waitress. “Scotch?” he asked Mack.

“A double,” Mack confirmed.

When the waitress had gone, Richard opened his mouth, probably to deliver a lecture about the dangers of overindulgence, but Ben arrived just then.

“The things I do for you,” he muttered as he sat down. He regarded Mack with the same intense look Richard had given him earlier. “You okay?”

Mack nodded. “And I’ll make you a deal. I won’t ask a single question about how you’re doing if you’ll drop all the questions about my life.”

“Deal,” Ben said at once, clearly eager to forgo an examination of his own recovery from the tragedy that had nearly destroyed him.

Richard shook his head. “I’ll bet you Melanie and Beth are spilling their guts to each other by now and here we sit, reduced to talking about what? Football? Political corruption? Terrorism?”

Mack regarded him with shock. “Beth is out with your wife?”

“Oh, yes,” Richard said, looking pleased as punch at having been the bearer of that news. “Melanie could hardly wait. She’s anticipating great revelations.”

Ben grinned at Mack. “You’re doomed, bro. Just accept it and start looking at china patterns.”

“Bite me,” Mack retorted. “Besides, it’s not as if she’s out with Destiny. That would be terrifying.” He suddenly recalled Beth’s current anger toward their aunt. “Then again, that little stunt Destiny pulled by planting an item about us with Pete Forsythe got Beth pretty stirred up. I imagine she could more than hold her own with Destiny about now.”

“I’d pay to see that,” Richard said.

“If the occasion actually arises, I’ll get you a seat in the front row,” Mack promised him.

He was about to down the rest of his drink when he saw Ben’s eyes widen and Richard’s mouth drop open. He turned slowly and spotted a very buxom model he’d stopped seeing several months ago heading their way.
Cassandra was gorgeous, scantily clad and brash. She walked up and planted a kiss on him that would have melted his zipper not all that long ago.

“Hey, darlin’,” she whispered huskily, ignoring his brothers as if they weren’t even there. “I’ve missed you.”

Mack tried to extricate himself from the hand that was sliding directly toward his belt buckle. “Cass, I’d like you to meet my brothers,” he said pointedly. “Richard, Ben, this is Cassandra.”

She blinked at the distinct lack of welcome in his tone, studied his face for a moment, then turned to his brothers. “Gentlemen, it’s nice to meet you.” She gave them both a considering look, then shrugged at the lack of response from either one. “See you around, Mack.”