Pretty Pink Ribbons (18 page)

Time slips away as we talk about the past several years. Levi tells me about finishing up his degree and about how Blue came to be. I laugh hysterically when he describes his dad’s face the day he had the cages installed, and I nearly cry when he talks about the pride he felt the day it officially opened.

My education means the world to me, and I love what I do, but I would give it all up if I could rewind time and be there with him for those precious moments that he’ll remember for the rest of his life—moments that I’ll only ever be told about. But that’s why I’m here now, I remind myself, not wanting to get caught up in the ‘should-haves.’

Out of nowhere, a shooting star darts across the sky. “Did you see that?” I gasp at the same time Levi’s hand shoots in the air, pointing to where it flew through the night. “Make a wish,” he says, glancing over at me. I squeeze my eyes shut and wish for the exact same thing I wish for every time I see a shooting star. “What are you wishing for, Laney?”

I open my eyes and look over at him. He looks raw and vulnerable, which is exactly how I’m feeling right now. Regardless, there is nothing I can say but the absolute truth. “The same thing I always wish for—you.”

Levi’s eyes widen just a fraction and he sucks in a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before blowing it out. I feel like I should say something else, but I don’t want to ruin the moment. He asked what I wished for and I told him.

“We should probably get going.” Sitting up, I finger comb my hair, knocking loose any grass or leaves to the ground. Levi follows suit, stretching his arms up to the sky with a big yawn. The moment is broken, but that’s okay because more than anything, at least he knows how I feel.

“You’re right. It’s probably getting late.” He looks down at his watch. “Nah, not too bad. Only ten thirty.”

“Way past my bedtime,” I yawn, picking up my purse. Levi stands up and offers me his hand, which I graciously accept, because there is no way I’m going to pass up the opportunity to touch him. He pulls me to my feet and we walk unhurriedly back to the restaurant, enjoying each other’s company. When we reach my car, I click the button to automatically unlock the doors and he reaches for the handle, opening the door for me. I toss my purse into the front seat and then turn back to Levi. “Thank you for this. I had a great time.”

“Me too,” he says softly.

“Okay, well”—I look down at the keys in my hand and then back at him—“I should go.” Sliding into my car, I move to pull the door closed but Levi stops it.

“Wait, I need your list.”

“My list?”

“Your bucket list. Can I have it?” he asks, his hand outstretched and waiting.

“Um, sure.” I dig around in my purse, looking for the folded piece of paper. When I find it, I reluctantly give it to him. “What do you need that for?”

“Do you have a pen?” he asks, ignoring my question. I dig one out of my purse and hand it over, then he walks to the back of my car and unfolds the piece of paper before laying it on the trunk. His eyes travel down the page until he finds whatever it is he’s looking for. He scratches the pen across the paper, neatly folds it up and brings it back to me. “Do you have any plans next Friday?”

I get ready to tell him ‘no’ and then remember that’s my day for chemo. Chewing on my bottom lip, I hesitate before answering his question. Although my treatment won’t last all day, I’m not sure how I’ll feel afterward and I don’t want to make any plans just in case I end up feeling like a zombie. “I do, actually. I took off work every other Friday, remember?”

His brows furrow and then quickly soften out. “Yeah, I forgot. No biggie. How about that following Monday?”

“I’ll have to check my schedule to see if I work the day or evening shift, but I’d be free at some point.”

“Okay. Let me know and then I’ll tell you where to meet me.” He looks hopeful, and it takes everything I have not to jump up and start squealing for joy. This is even better than I could have imagined. A date—well, semi-date—ending with a request for another non-date. This night couldn’t have possibly ended any better. Well, it could have, but I’m not going to go there.

“Night, Laney.”

“Goodnight, Levi.” He pushes my door shut and I watch him walk back into the restaurant. Once he is completely out of sight, I unfold my list. When I see what he’s done, tears well up in my eyes.

He checked something off my bucket list.

I’m not even sure what to think about that. It has to mean something that he wants to do this, right? Surely he wouldn’t go out of his way to check something off my bucket list if he didn’t still care. I take a deep breath. It’s ironic, really, that the man I love is helping with my bucket list, but he doesn’t know why I started the list in the first place. I squeeze my eyes closed, pushing away that thought. I have to stay strong. I have to fight.

For my life.

For Levi.

I take the pen that Levi just used and I open my list back up to scribble down another item.

“IT WAS GREAT SEEING you, Brady. Please tell Mark we’re sorry he couldn’t make it.” Brady takes my outreached hand in a firm shake and slaps my back with the other. “Let Mason and I discuss things, and we’ll be getting back with you soon.”

“Absolutely,” Brady says, letting go of my hand and stepping over to Mason to shake his hand. “As soon as you guys make a decision, let me know so we can get the ball rolling.”

“Are you headed back home today?”

“Nah, man. I’m going to stay tonight and head home tomorrow.” Brady slips on his jacket and checks his phone as he’s walking out the door. “See you two later.”

Mason shuts the door behind Brady and turns to me, eyes wide and full of excitement. “We are doing this, right? Please tell me we’re doing this.”

I laugh at him, mostly because he’s close to pissing his pants. “Hell yeah, we’re doing this,” I answer, pulling my baby brother in for a hug. “We’ve worked hard and we’re not passing up this opportunity. We’d be stupid to walk away from this.”

“That’s what I’m talking about, brother. Let’s go celebrate,” Mason says, loosening the tie around his neck.

“You go. I’ll be there in a few.” Pulling out my desk chair, I drop into it with a content sigh. “I’ve got a few things to do first.”

“Like what?” he asks incredulously, eyebrows arched, hands out to his sides. “What could be more important than celebrating right now? This time next year, we’ll have restaurants in Chicago and Nashville. How fucking awesome is that?”

“It’s fucking fantastic, and I promise I’ll be down there in a few minutes to celebrate with you. I just have to do a couple of things first.” Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I check for any missed calls then toss it on my desk.

“Don’t be long.” Mason opens the door and narrows his gaze on me, finger pointed in my direction. I flip him off and then hear him laugh as he walks down the hall. Leaning back in my chair, I run my fingers through my hair.

I can’t believe this is happening. We’ve worked so hard for this, and it’s fucking unreal that it’s actually going to happen. My hands itch to pick up my phone and call Laney. My first instinct when I knew this was going to happen was to call her.

After our picnic a few weeks ago, things have been crazy. I’ve been busy at work, and she’s been busy with work and whatever else it is she does. We haven’t really gotten to see each other so we’ve resorted to phone calls and texting, and I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been fun. We’ve slowly gotten to know each other again, one call and text at a time. I told her about what Mason and I have been working on with Mark and Brady, and she told me about how she used to volunteer at a homeless shelter in California.

I’ve started letting my guard down around her, a little bit more each day, but it doesn’t take away that uneasy feeling I get in the pit of my stomach—the one that says she still has the same power over me that she had eight years ago. She has the power to walk away, and I’m not sure I’m up for going through that shit again.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve become borderline obsessed with her. I find myself fantasizing about her tight little body and her husky voice talking dirty to me. There have even been a few times that I’ve gone out of my way to see her at the restaurant, just because I needed to satisfy the craving. And that’s what it is. It’s a craving that I’ve had since the day she came back home—a craving that’s also a fucking thorn in my side because the goddamn thing grows every time I see her.

“Fuck it,” I mumble, grabbing my phone off my desk. I scroll through my contacts, find Laney’s name and hit ‘talk.’ The phone rings several times, and I’m about to hang up when her voice comes through the line.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Levi. To what do I owe the pleasure, kind sir?”

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?” Her tinkling laughter rings loudly and a shiver runs down my spine.

“What’s up?” she asks, still laughing.

“I—” I have no fucking clue why I called her. Okay, that’s a lie. “Brady just left.”

“Oh my gosh!” she gasps. “What did he say? Is it going to happen? Oh, Levi, please tell me it’s going to happen.”

“It’s going to happen,” I answer excitedly with a stupid-ass smile on my face. She squeals through the line and I hold the phone away from my ear, picturing her dancing around her house.

“Levi, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. You guys deserve this so much.”

“Thanks. We’re pretty keyed up about it. In fact, Mase is already down at the bar waiting for me to celebrate with him.”

“Well, what the heck are you waiting for? Get your butt down there and celebrate with your brother.” Her enthusiasm floors me. She sounds genuinely excited, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s considered the fact that I might have to move. Well, son of a bitch. I haven’t even considered the fact that I might have to move.

“I’m heading down there.” I pause, picturing her beautiful face, wanting to see it again. ”Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“We’re still on. I’ll meet you at Flame at five o’clock tomorrow evening.” I hear laughing in the background and I wonder who the hell she is with. Mia left last week so I know it isn’t her.

“What are you doing this evening?” I ask, because I’m fucking nosy and I want to know who’s there. “You can come celebrate with Mason and me if you’re bored.”