Pretty Instinct (24 page)

So, first, I’m gonna talk to Conner, see what
he
wants, and then, I taste vomit just thinking it, I’m gonna talk to my father, mano y dickhead.

“I’m back.” I climb on board, a little sweaty and winded. “We ready?”

“As ever, take a seat and I’ll get us moving,” Bruce says and heads to the wheel.

I go straight to the source, purposely avoiding the three sets of curious eyes cued in on me. “Hey, Bubs,” I slide in beside him on the bench, “can I help you with your puzzle?”

“You gotta do the hard work too, Sister, not only corners,” he warns, his tongue poking out in concentration.

“Yes, sir.” I snicker, giving him a quick hug. “Con, I’m gonna talk to you about some stuff, and you just answer whatever you feel first, okay? You don’t even have to stop doing your puzzle.”

Radio silence.

“Conner, okay?”

“Okayyy,” he does his inconvenienced drawl, “that’s what I was doing what you said. My puzzle.”

Ahh, my adorable little smartass. And all three spectators are doing a terrible job of hiding their laughter.

“Conner, Dad wants you to go stay with him.”

“Okay.”

“He wants it to be for a while, Bubs. Fourteen days. That will be the longest you’ve ever stayed.”

“Nu-uh. I used to stay there my whole life, with you too.”

“Not as kids, Conner, Mom was there then. He wants you to stay that long right now. But not in the house, he wants to take you on a vacation, to Hawaii.”

His head pops right up at that, eyes bright, glowing even, as he starts clapping loudly. “I vote yes! Will you watch my fish?”

I’m not even sure if he knows what Hawaii is or if he understands how long two weeks is, but I guess my goal shouldn’t be to talk him
out
of it. “Yes, I will watch your fish. And I’ll call you every single day, Bubs, but I won’t be right back to get you. You’ll have a ride on a plane two times,
then
I’ll come get you.”

“You will miss me very much, Bethy.”

“Yes.” That comes out a garbled, choked back sob, so I stop and try again, about the time I feel the support of
his
hand on my shoulder, which I reach up and cover with my own. “Conner, there’s something else. Dad is gonna have a new wife. And she has kids. They’ll all be there too.”

“Laura,” he says, looking at his puzzle. “Her kids are little though, little as you.”‘

My hold on Cannon’s hand turns quickly to a vice grip. “You’ve met Laura? And her kids?” I ask, every effort to taper my voice that wants to scream.

“All the time, silly. She’s nice and pretty.”

I look over to Rhett, then Jarrett. Neither of them have moved a muscle or made a peep since Conner said he wanted to go, taking all this in alongside me, much like they’ve done our whole lives. I know they’re going through the same range of emotions I am, living it firsthand with me.

Rhett must sense the end of my road, that I have no idea what more to say, so he comes to sit across from Conner. “Con, look at me buddy.” Conner does so instantly and Rhett gives him a reassuring smile. “Do you like Laura and her kids?”

“Yes, a lot.”

“And they’re nice to you?”

“Very,
very
nice. Why?”

Rhett chuckles and holds up his hands in surrender. “Just wondering. And your dad, Conner, is your dad nice to you?”

I stiffen, Cannon squeezing my shoulder.

“Yes, but not nice as Alma and Laura. He screams in his phone and slams the door, but then he says he’s sorry and plays
Monopoly
with us. I am the bomb. I always, always win.”

My father apologizes and plays Monopoly? Since fucking when?

Since he’s been luring in Laura, that’s when.

I look up and instantly get angry at the pity in Rhett’s eyes. I don’t need goddamn fake ass family game nights—my family isn’t all here, on this Earth—kinda impossible. If I even liked
Monopoly
, which I don’t.

“Bubs,” I touch his arm so he’ll focus on me, “do you want me to call your dad and tell him you’ll go?”

“Yes.”

“On a long trip with—”

“Yes.”

“Him and Laura and her kids?”

“Yessss!” he yells. “Want me to get you a present, Sister?”

“Sure.” I stand,
daring
the sniffle I can feel to make a sound lest I kick its ass. “Okay Bubs, I’ll go call him.”

I reach back without looking for Cannon’s hand and instantly he takes it, saying nothing as I pull him into Conner’s bedroom with me. He shuts the door as I get situated on the bed, then he joins me, wrapping me in his arms, rocking us back and forth in soothing rhythm as he kisses my head.

“Tell me something you
need
, something that makes you feel weak to admit.”

“Approval.” His sigh brushes warmly along the back of my neck. “Even if I’m hell bent on an idea or plan, I feel better about it if my parents, my sister, you,” he nuzzles further into me, “approve. It’s actually scary in a way, being reliant on what other people may think. Luckily, it only applies to a select few for me. The rest can kiss my ass.” He laughs. “Why do you ask?”

I turn to him, laying my cheek against his chest while I fiddle with the sleeve of his t-shirt. “I need you here, with me, while I call my father. But I’ve always done it alone before, so I feel stupid, weak. Now that I know,” brave inhale, “how much easier things are when I have you, I don’t want to go back.” A frustrated, embarrassed howl escapes me as I try to escape his hold, to run and hide from vulnerable honesty, but he’s faster. I’m instantly pinned to the bed, flat on my back, a heavy breathing Cannon looming over me.

“Love when my Lizzie comes out,” he growls, something sinister yet tender flashing in his darkening brown eyes before he dips to my neck. “Gonna be right here,” he drags his tongue up to my ear, tracing the outside with its pointed tip, “nowhere I’d rather be. But I sense you’re wound a little tight, maybe you should release some tension first, on me,” he teases, his voice a sultry, deep taunt.

“Come here,” I whisper, luring him to my mouth with only my request, since he has my hands captured.

“What is it, beauty?” he asks against my lips.

Slowly, I outline his plump mouth with my tongue, looking him dead in the eyes. “I’m not gonna get busy on my brother’s bed, Horny Henderson. Down boy.” I laugh, declining both him and the pulsing erection poking me.

“I am gonna love making you pay for that, Siren.” He nips at my chin and rolls off me, both of us then sitting up.

I’m ready to make the call, my spirit floating adrift on Cannon; nothing or no one can bring me down. I press my father’s number, on speaker, holding Cannon’s silent, supportive gaze as it rings.

“Elizabeth,” he answers in his ever dignified voice.

“Richard,” I respond as stoically, using his first name for perhaps the first time ever.

“His name is actually
Dick
?” Cannon sorta mouths, more whispers, with wide, laughing eyes.

I nod and slap a hand over my giggle.

“Elizabeth, I assume you had a reason for calling?”
Ugh
, he’s still there.

“Yes.” I clear my throat and reaffirm my confident posture. “I understand you’ve got a new family of
Monopoly
connoisseurs and want Conner to partake in two weeks of
Leave It to Beaver
Hawaiian bliss with you?” I couldn’t have summed up every resentment better if I tried. Even my sophisticatedly bitter tone was perfection.

His sharp, hissing inhale is audible over the line, as tangible as Cannon’s flinch beside me. “Elizabeth,” he drones, something weird, unknown happening in his voice, “honey, I think it’s high time you and I had a sit down.”

I barely have the wits about me to pull the phone away from me and stare at it, double checking I have the right number. Who the fuck is this “honey” of which he blathers? “Richard, if you’re high right now, I can call back.”

“And she bites,” he mumbles. “I don’t have a new family, Elizabeth, I have
more
family. All of whom would be delighted to get to know you, along with your brother. Would you like to join us on the trip? Anytime? Dinner, perhaps?”

“I know what you’re doing!” I scream, my hand shaking so badly that Cannon peels the phone from me one clenched finger at a time and holds it, his free hand rubbing up and down my back. “You need your campaign banner picture, that’s all! Speaking of pictures, did you throw mine against the wall, when mom caught you with some whore?”

Fabulous—I lost my temper and showed my hand.

“I probably did. I won’t claim to be a good husband, Elizabeth. I was unfaithful, many times, and I will forever be sorry. And I was a shameful father, absent and emotionally distant. For that, I’m even sorrier. But the other
ideas
, the resentments you harbor? They’re unfounded, and frankly, far crueler than my shortcomings.”

“You’re a fucking demon! You hurt Conner, tried to kill him, ruined his life,
and
drove my mother to suicide! On what planet is my hatred worse than that?”

I flinch, hearing the door bang open from behind me, and snap my mouth closed. When I dare turn my head, I meet the frightened, worried eyes of Conner, Rhett, and Jarrett, all huddled in the doorway, Cannon doing his best to reassure and shoo them away.

“Did my son just hear that outburst?”

Cannon takes it off speaker and hands me the phone, a look of pity and disappointment on his face.

“Let’s go.” He ushers the others out and pulls the door closed, leaving me in shameful isolation. I can’t mourn the loss; I’d forced his attention to bigger
needs
.

“Yes,” I croak, “but he’s gone now.”

“Elizabeth, all I’ve done, or haven’t done, right or wrong, I have
never
laid a hand on your brother.”

“THEN WHO DID??”

He’s back. The lock clicks seconds before I’m wrapped up from all sides, his strong arms, long legs, broad chest each doing their part to protect me. “In for me,” he whispers, “come on, big one in for me.”

“Conner? Son?”

“No sir, not Conner. She needs a minute,” Cannon tells him. “Now out for me, love,” he once again says softly, only to me.

“Rhett? Is she all right?”

“I’m sorry I left, had to settle Conner. But I’m back,” he kisses below my ear. “I’m here.”

I heave in and out, my breathing labored with anger, yes, but also fear—have I gone from irrationally self-sufficient to helplessly reliant on Cannon? Fuck that. “Richard,” I compose myself, “are you going to answer me?”

“No, Elizabeth, I’m not. Never let it be said that I speak out of turn.”

I saw that cop-out, talk out the side of your mouth bullshit coming before I was done asking the question. I roll my eyes, exhausted, as I always find myself talking to him. “Conner would like to go with you. We’re in Nebraska. You can come get him,
you
, with Alma, or I’ll bring him to you when I can. And Richard? If one hair on his head is out of place, or you don’t bring him back to me on time, there’ll be no safe place for you.”

Cannon nudges me, a disapproving frown and shake of his head.

“When will you be back in Ohio?” he asks with an inconvenienced huff.

“When’s your trip?”

“We’re supposed to leave Tuesday.”

Five days from now, three of which we have gigs, doable… “Probably not gonna happen,” I tut back, my inner brat fist pumping.
Inner
. Lord knows Cannon would chastise me with that scowly brow of his if I actually did it.

“Where in Nebraska?”

“Lincoln.”

“I’ll head out as soon as I can. Please answer your phone, Elizabeth. I’ll need your exact location when I get there.”

I can hardly speak past my utter astonishment. “You’re actually gonna come get him, all by yourself?”

“No, per your instructions, Alma will be accompanying me. If it’s all right with you, I could bring Laura as well. Perhaps you’d like to meet her?”

“Hell no, I don’t want to meet your f—”

“We’ll wait for your call, sir. See
you and Alma
soon,” Cannon interrupts me, hitting “end call” the second he finishes the sentence.

I’m about to give him another
Pretty Woman
lesson—the “I saw when” part! “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I say, my voice as scathing as I can manage, scooting away from him.

He demolishes that space in one fell swoop, plastering his body to mine, bracketing me in at my sides. “I’m stopping the incredibly sad display of you making an ass of yourself. I get that you’re angry, and resentful, and scared,” he glides his knuckles down my cheek, “and all that’s understandable. But you’re not hateful and venomous, so stop trying so hard to act like it. And,” he lays his fingers across my lips to hush my retort, “I will gladly eat your pussy and pay your bills, so I
do
get a say.” He winks.

I couldn’t now tell you why I was mad at him only five seconds ago if my life truly depended on it. His scandalous turning of my back on me have a direct, searing link to the currently throbbing spot between my legs. I lick my lips, searching for how to respond, when he leans in and wets them for me. “You like the thought of that, don’t ya?” he hums, a deep, delicious sound.

I must nod, or maybe I answered, who knows…certainly not lust-crazed me, because he laughs softly and kisses me. “Me too, angel, me too. Soon, I promise you, very soon I will cherish every single part of you with every single part of me.”

My gulp echoes in the room, giving away my nervousness. The only thing I’m certain of is that my three-minute tryst with Rhett years ago did
not
prepare me for Cannon Blackwell, and I will surely disappoint him. “Let’s, uh,” I squirm back from him, “let’s go tell Conner and get ready for tonight’s show.”

“Hey,” he latches onto my wrist, halting my exit, “what just happened?”

“Nothing,” I say to the door rather than him.

“Nooo, it was definitely something. I look forward to coercing it out of you.”

***

The talk with Conner went…loud. He screamed and jumped around, absolutely thrilled, at which I plastered on a grin.