Pretend With Me (Midnight Society #1) (7 page)

“Oh, so you think this is funny?” he asked pointing to
himself as he took a step closer to me.
“No,” I shook my head but my grin grew wider and
Eric took another step, completely closing the distance
between us. This close I could smell him, and as usual his
scent fogged up my head, making my brain go blank.
“Nope, not funny at all,” I giggled staring up at his face as
I raised the hand I was holding the spoon with and then
swiped the messy, cheesy, buttery end on his face.
“Oh, now you're going to get it,” he smirked and
grabbed both my shoulders, keeping me in place as he
wiped his face all over mine, messing me up. In fits of
screams and giggles, I smacked him with the dirty spoon
and then dashed off. He was instantly behind me, laughing
joyously. I found that I, too, was giggling uncontrollably.
I ran into one of the rooms laughing, then toppled
down on the bed. Eric was instantly at the door sending a
devilish smile at me. He jumped on the bed rolling on top
of me and began tickling me. I was suddenly laughing
uncontrollably. I couldn’t remember the last time I had
laughed like this. He only stopped when I said in between
breaths that I couldn’t breathe, which was kind of true. He
rolled and I was abruptly on top of him now.
“Jen,” he blinked, linking our fingers at the sides of his
head. “Not that I... mind, but why are you in my clothes,”
he smiled.
“Couldn’t find my own,” I frowned, looking
everywhere but his face. I was waiting for him to start
demanding that I get out of them. I waited a full minute
before I let my eyes wander to his face. He was smiling like
a circus clown on stage and I was instantly confused.
“What?”
“Nothing,” his smile grew bigger. “It’s just... I was
expecting something else.”
“You mean like 'if you have a problem with it, take it to
your overpaid shrink'?” I asked smiling back now. In one
movement Eric sat up on the bed, carrying both my weight
and his own without using his hands. Now I was on his
lap, facing him. Already I could feel the air around us
changing into something that was charged. My mouth
went dry and my breathing became uneven. My pulse was
racing, and at any second I felt as though my heart was
going to burst out of my chest, but this time it wasn't
because of fear.
He released my hand and wound both of his hands
around my neck and then through my damp hair. God,
that felt so good, it gave me chills running down my spine.
“Yes, something charming such as that.” He leaned
towards me, his breath washing over my skin. I could feel
his body heat or maybe it was me, I didn't know - my brain
cells had started clicking off already. I inhaled his scent
again, knowing this would only make it harder to resist the
urge to rip his clothes off, but I couldn’t help myself, he
just smelled so good.
“I thought about it,” I answered honestly, inhaling
deeply. Damn, most of my brain cells had gone from
stunned to completely fried. Did he know the effect he
was having on me? That he could make me feel things
beyond pain and heartache, things I'd given up on feeling
ever again? What was this thing between us, and why in
God's name was it so intense?
“But?” he encouraged gently kissing my cheek and ear,
teasing me. I got my answer then – yes he did know, and
he was having a field day. Maybe two could play at this
game.
“But…” I whispered in his ears and gently touched his
cheek with my lips, tasting the mixture of cheese and
butter. “I would have ruined this perfectly good moment,”
I muttered, making my way from his ear to his lips. I
watched with a deep sense of satisfaction as he pulled away
from me shocked and amazed.
I then wrapped my good hand around his neck, once
again copying his movements. “What? No comeback?” I
asked and touched my lips to his for just a slow second. I
felt him smile against my lips and I pulled back looking at
him. In his eyes, he held the world. I closed my eyes and
this time when I kissed him, it wasn’t brief, quick or gentle.
It was just then I heard a familiar voice – an impossible
voice, one that should not exist anymore, telling me that
he was dead and I was moving on. That he was gone and I
was betraying him.
My whole body tensed, my muscles locked and my eyes
shot open. I was on my back; Eric was on top of me.
Silent tears rolled down the sides of my face. Eric pulled
away but he didn’t say anything. He just looked at me with
eyes that seemed to be studying my soul, and I instantly
felt like I was standing naked in front of a crowd.
“What happened to you, Jen?” His voice was just an
echo. I swallowed and then took in a deep breath, trying to
calm my frantic heart. I opened my mouth to say
something – anything at all – but nothing came out so I
shut it.
“Jen... please let me help you. I know something
happened... Why won’t you let me in..?”
I stared into his eyes and saw only the truth. But I
couldn’t tell him – I couldn’t relive that. I was struggling to
keep myself from breaking apart as it was already. I didn’t
want to shatter into pieces again. Once in a lifetime was
enough. “I’m tired,” I heard myself say.
Quietly he rolled off me and onto his back. I heard him
let out a sigh and I turned my head to him. Great, I
thought, now Eric hated me as much as I hated myself.
I was suddenly shocked at how much this thought hurt
me. All the time this was what I had wanted. So why was
there a sharp, aching pain where my heart should be? What
was going on?
I sat up on the bed and he followed. He raised a hand
to cup my cheek, but before he could touch me, I pulled
away from him. “I...” I started confused and horrified. I
had no idea what I was trying to say or how to say
anything. I couldn’t form a coherent thought in my head.
“I – just leave me alone,” I snapped frustrated at my own
confusion and pain.
“What did I do now?” he asked at the edge of anger. I
was suddenly pissed at him.
“Nothing!” I screamed and stormed out the house.
Minutes later I was once again on the beach. Everything
was warm – the sand under my feet, the gentle breeze, the
water splashing at my ankles.
About an hour later, Eric came out of the house with a
white plate in one hand and a huge cup in the other. The
aroma of food filled my nose, making me remember just
how hungry I was.
He sat at my side, facing me and then placed the cup
and plate between us. “I bear food and Coke,” he smiled. I
said nothing. I didn’t even look at him, no matter how
much I wanted to, and I craved it so much that not
looking was almost painful.
“Jenifer,” he sung my name holding the plate in front
of my nose. “I know you want it.” He shook it over my
face. My eyes narrowed at his hand and I smacked it away
from me. “Goddamn it, I’m trying to make up with you,
you unreasonable girl!” he shouted. I turned my head to
him. “And I shouldn't, because I did nothing!”
He was right. I shouldn't be angry with him. I didn’t
even know why I was angry. “You’re right Eric, I’m sorry,”
I whispered, sitting up to face him.
“I have a proposition for us.”
“What?” I asked curiously.
“You eat, I’ll talk,” he ordered. I didn’t object to this,
instead I took the fork he offered and dug into the pasta.
“So...” he began and I looked up to his face.
Eric in the moonlight was flawless. His skin seemed to
glow silver, and if I wasn’t curious or starving I would
have had to tie my hands and feet together to prevent
myself from jumping him.
“This wedding is going to happen... knowing my mom,
in some months. You’re not happy and neither am I...
We’re fighting almost all the time... and I don’t want the
rest of my life to be like that... I don’t think you do either...
so... here's the deal... How about we be friends?
“You have to stop being mean to me. You... talk to me,
tell me what’s really going on in that psychotic head of
yours... Until you’re comfortable enough to move on... no
matter how long, I will wait until you say... and in return I
will give you anything you ask – anything I can give...” he
trailed off.
I nodded thinking about that. “I want to go to school, I
want to do things I’m used to doing... going to the mall,
being with friends...” I trailed off thinking. Eric opened his
mouth to say something, but before he could, I raised a
finger shushing him. “And I want more time before we’re
married.”
“Are you finished? Is that all?” he asked when I didn’t
continue. I nodded. “Okay, done.” he said without
hesitation. “But I’m not sure about more time. I’ll see what
I can do though... So... we’re friends now?” Again, I just
nodded.
“Can I ask you something?” The instinct to tell him
‘no’ and run away struck me immediately, but instead I
nodded again. “I know you care for me, Jen and I also
know that you think – know” he corrected himself, “that
we can be happy together... There’s something between
us... why are you fighting it?”
Of all the questions he could ask, I wasn’t expecting
this one. I sighed and turned away from him not sure if I
wanted to answer. “We’re friends now,” he reminded me.
I let another sigh out and looked up to him. “I’d rather
be miserable my entire life and be free... than happy and
trapped in a marriage I never wanted...”
“But that doesn't make sense...” he trailed off, frowning
at me.
“It’s about not giving in or submitting. I don't want - I
can't feel powerless... or weak again Eric,” I explained as
best as I could. “I can't give in to you...”
He thought about this for a moment and then asked
“But would it matter if we were happy?”
“Yes it would... and I won’t be happy. How can I be
happy when I’m married to someone I don’t love?”
“In time you could... we both could...”
“No... I can’t... Eric I can’t love you... not now and not
ever. I won’t be able to, I’m... broken...” I forced myself to
say.
“Daren,” he guessed.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I whispered, turning
away from him.
“Okay,” he muttered. “What do you want to talk
about?”
“Why do I have to be married before I’m eighteen?” I
asked turning back to him.
“Jen... I don’t want to lie to you, but I can’t tell you the
truth either, not yet anyway. There are things about my
family that you don’t know.”
“Like your dad is a really good doctor, or that your
family is really rich and influential?”
“No, other things... secrets you’re not ready for yet...”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know,” was all he said.
“Well help me understand,” I pleaded.
“In time you will... So school?” he smiled. I knew he
was changing the subject, but the idea of going to school
excited me more than I thought possible. He must have
seen the animation written across my face because his
unsure smile turned into one of amusement instantly.
“What?” I asked blinking.
“You’re the first person I’ve ever met that’s actually
excited for school,” he chuckled. “So what sort of work do
you want to do?”
“I’m not sure yet...” I trailed off, wondering.
“Hmm,” he mused. “I thought you would do
something creative. Art, I guess.”
“How'd you figure that out?”
“You draw a lot and you’re really good too,” he added
almost as an afterthought. I frowned at this puzzled by
how he knew. Just as I was about to ask he began to
explain. “The day we met, you were wearing faded blue
jeans and drawn on it was a single red rose. It wasn’t
straight, more slanted and up sided down, like it was
falling. And on the other leg was a spider – a black widow
– next to that were the words ‘Fatal Beauty.” I was
speechless that he remembered what I’d been wearing the
day we met. “There are more drawings on your books – at
the back mostly.”
My eyes narrowed. “You went through my books?”
“Yes,” he smiled, unashamed. “I wanted to get to know
you.”
“Have I ever told you that stalking is not romantic?” I
teased a little annoyed, but not enough to ruin the mood.
“Yes, I believe you have told me that.”
“So what do you want to do? Are you going to follow
in your dad’s footsteps?”
“Well...” he wondered, “everyone expects that,
especially my parents.”
“But what do you want to do?” I pointed out.
“I’ve never thought about it.” His voice and face was
casual. We could have been talking about the weather.
“Never had a reason to. No one has ever asked me that...”
“Well I’m asking you now?” I said, my eyes never
leaving his face.
“Hmm...” he frowned at me “Right now I’m doing a
double major in medicine and business... but if I didn’t
have do those things I’d love to be a pilot...” Eric trailed
off.
“Military?” I asked, somehow already knowing.
“Yep,” he grinned.
“So why don’t you?”
“It’s not that simple... All these things – my entire life –
have been mapped out for me before I was even born...”
he explained.
“Yeah,” I nodded, “right down to who you’re going to
marry.”
“Exactly,” he paused, staring at me intently. “I don’t
mind though. I mean it’s not a bad life.” I didn’t say
anything. I knew if I did, we were going to end up fighting
again. “So what’s the last movie you saw?” he asked,
changing the subject.
It continued like this until I had gone through two
plates of pasta, and half a bag of cookies. Eric ate the other
half. I actually enjoyed talking to Eric and in those few
hours, I laughed more than I had in the last month. It was
carefree and relaxing, and I learned so much about him,
things I would have never thought.
Like how he spent his eighteenth birthday in the
hospital with a friend, instead of throwing a huge party.
We talked about the weird stuff too, which was basically
me telling him about the crazy adventures I dragged Daren
on.
Before I realized the sun started to rise, and without
saying a word Eric took my hand, leading me back towards
the house. I was exhausted and my body ached all over.
After brushing my teeth, I stepped out of the bathroom
wearing one of Eric’s t-shirt, even though he’d shown me
where my clothes were. Eric’s clothes were more
comfortable though. Strangely, they seemed almost
familiar, like I had been wearing his clothes to sleep all my
life. I left the door slightly ajar, allowing just enough light
to coat the front of the room. Then I climbed into bed,
only to toss and turn.