Pretend (51 page)

             
"Yeah and make sure it's meaty," he shouted to me as I carried on towards the kitchen.
I let out a small chuckle and headed towards the kitchen draw
er
s, where I knew that
my
mom kept all
of
the takeout
menus. Once I found it
,
I started to scan the menu, in search of the
most meaty
pizza that I could find. When I came across one that had chicken, bacon, ham, pepperoni, sweet corn, pineapple, mushrooms, peppers and onions I knew that Anthony would be pleased.

             
"
Yo
, I think I just found your future wife," I said as I leant over the back of the chair that he was sat on and pointed out the menu.

             
 
"
Mmmm
,
damn I think you're right," he said as I let
out
a small laugh.

             
"You
crack ,me
up dude," I said as I watched him eyeing up the chicken wing starters too. This guy had the appetite of a dinosaur, seriously.

             
"So
,
how's your cousin?" I asked as I took a seat on the chair across from him.

             
"Yeah, Rick's cool man," he said without taking his eyes off of the menu.

             
"So
,
isn't it long going to school every day from his house?" I asked as I started to flick through the TV channels.

             
"I got kicked out for two weeks," he said casually as he continued to smile at the menu.

             
"What?" I asked in shock.

             
"Kicked out, two weeks," he said slowly as though I was deaf.

             
"Yeah I got that bit Einstein. How did you manage that?"

             
"Oh it was accident but they took it too seriously," he said as he lowered the menu and gave me his full attention.

             
"What was?"

             
"I accidently set my science class on fire, no
biggy
. Everyone got out alive," he said as he smirked.

             
"Dude, you’re crazy yo
u know. How did you
accidently
set it on fire?"

             
"Some guy
in my class dared me to mix a few chemicals together when Mr
Brainston
wasn't looking and you know that I never back down from a dare. So I did it and the class set on fire and next thing I knew
,
I was kicked out," he said as though it was no big deal.

             
"What did your mom say?"

             
"She doesn't know. When the school rang
,
I got this chick I was
erm
...Seeing at the time to answer the phone and pretend to be her. I told Rick what happened and his mom was away on a business trip for three weeks so I stayed there. My mom thinks that I'm on a school trip so it all worked out great," he said with a huge smirk on his face.

             
"You are something else man. Let's order," I said as I pulled my phone out my pocket and stretched my hand out so that he could give me the menu.

             
"Oh come on it was the perfect plan," he said.

             
"Yeah until you get caught," I said as I looked at my phone and noticed that there was a text from April. I couldn't deny that it put a huge smile on my face.
I opened the text and read the words. Slowly the smile turned to panic as I stormed towards the front door.

             
"Dude
,
what's up?" Anthony said as he followed behind me at speed.

             
"I
’ve
got to go," I mumbled as I jumped into my mustang.

             
"What the hell's going on?" He asked as he jumped into the passenger seat.
I couldn't talk right now, I needed to concentrate so I handed him my cell as I started up the engine of my car.

             
"
I know
that
I always tell you not to drive fast but for today I want you to ignore that," he said as he looked up from my phone.

             
As we sat in silence and I drove towards the only person that seemed to make me feel this way, I realised something that I never thought would happen to me...I was in love.
I was in love with April.

APRIL’S POINT OF VIEW

             
"What do you mean, you was pregnant?" Kyle asked as he looked at me with a shocked expression.
I wanted to answer but I just couldn't find the words.

             
"Why didn't you tell me?" He muttered as I tried to avoid looking at him.

             
"I wanted to but when I found out about Rachel, I just couldn't," I said as I tried to force the tears back.

             
"Who did you tell?" He asked in a gentle voice.

             
"No one.
Only my mom and Bob know now," I muttered.

             
"How?"

             
"They found me," I began as the tears came at full force.

             
"Found you?" He asked in a state of confusion.

             
"A few days after we broke up I was in the bathroom and...I was bleeding. I didn't know what to do so I just sat on the floor crying in a pool of blood and that's when Bob found me and called my mom. They took me to hospital and a few hours later I was told that I had lost the baby," I said as I finally broke down as though I was relieving that whole day again.
 

             
I didn't realise how painful it still was. We never talked about it at home and I was glad but now I was being forced to feel the pain all over again.

             
"I wish that
you had told me," he said in a sad voice.

             
"It wouldn't have been fair. It would have just caused you unnecessary pain. Why did we both have to hurt like that," I whispered.

             
"Unnecessary pain?
April, you shouldn't have done that alone. I'm such a jerk," he said as he got up and started pacing around the room.

             
"You didn't know-"

             
"It doesn't matter! This was my fault, if I didn't stress you out and stuff then-"

             
"No, please just stop. This is why I didn't want to tell you. I don't want to play the blame game Kyle. I don't know why it happened but it did and I don't want you to feel guilty. I spent six weeks, sat alone in my room, blaming myself and it doesn't change a thin
g, I don't want you to do that."

             
"I'm so sorry," he said as the tears leaked from his eyes. I watched as his back slid down the wall until he hit the ground and let his head fall into his hands.

             
"It's ok," I said as I knelt down beside him and tried to comfort him.

             
It was strange how I was watching Kyle being ripped apart just as I had, I felt so guilty. I envied the fact that he had me to comfort him, I kept all of this to myself for so long and I kind of wished that he had been there to comfort me. He was the only other person that could truly understand that pain.

             
"April I know th
at we're just friends and I've ac
cepted that but I want you to know that I love you so much and I'm sorry for leaving you alone in all of this. If I could turn back the clocks, I would do it in a heartbeat. Please forgive me," he said as the tears engulfed his face.

             
As I stared down at Kyle, he reminded me of a child, so helpless, innocent and genuine. I knew that he meant what he was saying.

             
"I know and I have already forgiven you, I told you that," I said as I stroked his cheeks with my thumbs.

             
"How can you be so nice?" H
e said as he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.

             
It sounds crazy but I think it was exactly what I needed. It felt good to know that I could share that pain with someone else, someone who truly understood the pain without me needing to explain it at all. It had been almost two months since I had lost the baby and this was the first time that I had ever spoken about it in that time, everything seemed to hurt all over again.

             
As the living room door opened, I suddenly remembered that we were not alone.

             
"Sorry I thought
that
I heard cry-"

             
"Oh
my gosh
, what has happened? Are you two ok?" Mrs Edwards said as she looked down at me and Kyle crying on the floor.

             
I quickly stood to my feet but for some reason I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. I looked down at Kyle who was in bits on the floor and wasn't able to talk even if he tried. I didn't know what to do and the worried look on his mom's face was making it ten times worse.

             
 
"April, what's happened?"
She asked in a panicked tone.

             
"I-I can't," I said as I ran towards the front door, I needed to get out. I wasn’t ready for this.

             
"April, sweetie, wait please! It's late
,
you can't go walking the streets alone," she said as she ran behind me.

             
"I'll be fine
,
honestly
,
just please make sure Kyle is ok," I said as I ran off in the direction of my house.

             
"No
,
please April, I can drop you
,
wait," she said.
I didn't answer, instead I just ran as fast as I could. I needed the space to clear my mind, to think properly. I literally felt like someone had just stabbed me in the heart and left a huge gap that I just couldn't fill.
I was young and I didn't want a baby right now but when I found out that I was pregnant with Kyle's baby I accepted it, I was happy. It wasn't as if it was a one night stand or a fling, he was my boyfriend for eighteen months and I loved him. Then to lose him and the baby at the same time was more painful than I can even begin to express. To know that something that had been growing inside of you had died is a feeling that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy. I was only a month gone when I found out and I wanted
Kyle to be the first to know
. As soon as I did the test, I text him and asked him to come over but when I realised what had been going on with him and Rachel it all just seemed pointless. When I saw the blood a few days later, I knew what had happened without even asking, I just knew. It was as if everything that could go wrong was going wrong for me. I was heartbroken, twice.

             
Kyle almost ripped me apart but I didn't want him to go through what I did especially now that I'm out of that dark place,
I couldn't stand by and allow someone else to experience it. I never wanted to tell him but I always said that if he asked I would never lie, I guess some small part of me knew that he had a right to know after all it was his baby too, our baby.

             
I looked down at my phone
,
which now had five missed calls from a number that I didn't recognise. I felt it vibrate again and opened up a text from the same number.

             
April, it's Kyle's mom. Kyle has explained everything,
             
nobody is mad at you sweetheart please just answer the
             
phone and tell me where you are. I am really worried xx

             
I knew that it was selfish to ignore her but I couldn't face them right now, I just couldn't do it. I was three minutes from my house now and all I wanted to do was lie in my bed alone and think. I looked down at my phone again as it rang for the sixth time and finally I switched it off and slipped it back inside of my pocket.

I had started to get a headache from all
of
the crying and my eyes had literally increased in size. They felt so sore and tender.