Present Perfect (19 page)

We walked in silence the entire way. Noah seemed a little uncomfortable. If I were being honest, I was on edge, too. It felt strange, but I figured it was because we hadn’t been alone like this in a long time. Once we arrived, Noah extended his hand helping me climb up on the far end of the table. He didn’t join me. Instead, he leaned back on the edge beside me, with his legs crossed at the ankles, and his arms crossed over his chest.

We stayed like that for several minutes, before Noah cleared his throat and asked, “How have things been going?” He was looking down at the ground instead of me.

My gaze joined his on the same spot as I answered, “Pretty good. How are things going with you?”

“Ok. Coach thinks we have a pretty good chance at the championship this year.”

“Really? That’s fantastic.” I didn’t give a shit about the baseball team right now.

“Yeah. We’ll probably make the playoffs at least.” Out the corner of my eye, I saw him glance over at me and give me a quick smile. “How are your classes so far?”

“Good. How about yours?”

“Good,” he said.

I couldn’t believe we were actually having benign small talk. The weather should be next on the list. I hated that the time apart had created awkwardness between us. I was getting anxious, impatient, and I had enough of the small talk.

“Noah, why did you ask me here tonight?” My voice was low and filled with hesitancy.

His eyes stayed focused on the ground as he whispered, “I miss you.”

At that very moment, I heard a choir of angels start to sing,
hallelujah
. I desperately wanted to jump up, throw my arms around him, and never let go, but I didn’t.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I said, trying to contain my excitement.

“It hurts being away from you. I think about you all the time.”

“What do you think about?” It came out of my mouth more flirtatious than I intended.

Noah pushed off the table and moved directly in front of me. He took a few moments studying my face, like he hadn’t seen it in years. He cleared his throat and answered. “I think about how lonely I am without you. How boring my day is without you. How much I miss hearing your voice and your laugh. How much I miss listening to music and eating cake with you.” We smiled shyly at each other. His gaze lifted, looking directly into my eyes. “I miss taking care of you,” he hesitated for a moment. “I miss my best friend and I want her back in my life.” His words glued every piece of my shattered heart back together.

Noah looked as lost and alone as I felt. I was speechless. I had dreamed about this day since the night of the talk. I hated being separated from him. I wanted my best friend back, too. I didn’t want to be lonely anymore.

He placed his hands on either side of me on the edge of the table, bringing his forehead to rest on mine, “So Tweet, will you be my best friend again? I promise I will stay in the F-zone.”

You couldn’t see it from the outside, but inside I was jumping up and down, clapping, and doing cartwheels.

Sighing I said, “I never stopped being your best friend.” The hottest smile I had ever seen formed across that beautiful face that I had ached to see for so long.

He tilted his head slightly to one side and brushed his lips gently across my cheek. When he pulled back, he was smirking at me and said, “Hi bestie. Glad you’re back where you belong.” I beamed with joy. I was glad to be back, too.

Noah sat next to me on the table. I could feel the electricity between us when our shoulders and arms brushed against each other. He picked up my hand and laced our fingers together. Bringing it to his lips, he placed a soft kiss on the back of it. My face started to hurt, I was grinning so big. I’m not positive, but I think I actually giggled like an idiot. I felt his thumb begin to gentle stroke my wrist. That was permitted in the friend zone. Friends occasionally held hands and stroked one another…right?

Releasing a long deep sigh, he said, “Tweet, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.”

“Shoot.”

He turned slightly toward me. His expression was serious and determined. “Is it true that Brad Johnson asked you to Jeremy’s party?”

“How did you find out so fast? It’s only been a few hours since he asked me.” It will never cease to amaze me, the speed at which high school gossip travels. I don’t even remember seeing anyone at school while Brad and I were together. Although, I was a bit flustered at the time. As a result, my sense of observation was slightly impaired.

“It doesn’t matter how I found out. What matters is that I found out just in time. You’re not going on a date with him, Tweet.”

I glared at him in disbelief as I jerked my hand from his. “Hold on now. Is this why you suddenly wanted me back in your life, so you could dictate who I could and could not go on a date with?”

“No!”

“Because, for your information, I haven’t been on one single date unless you count Vincent Chamberlain in tenth grade, which I do not since he dumped me in the middle of the damn date for Sarah Grice.”

“He’s a Smurffucker and you’re not going out with him Saturday or any other time,” he said loudly.

My expression tightened as I continued to glare at him. My body began to heat up with anger. I jumped off the table and step away from it. I turned on my heels to face him. My hands firmly planted on my hips.

“Who the hell do you think you are? For four months, I was close to being completely ignored by you. You know what I had to watch while I kept my mouth shut? Bitchanni sniffing around you first thing in the morning at your locker. Then there’s Amy, and Paige, and Tiffany. Anyone else? Oh yes, let’s not forget what started the four month sabbatical, the day you planned on fucking Beth,” I yelled. I thought for a second I might hyperventilate, I was breathing so fast.

“That’s different.” He was standing directly in front of me now. The veins in his neck strained as he spoke through clenched teeth.

“How so?”

“It just is. Look, it’s my job to take care of you and look out for you.”

“Noah, it’s just one date. The party is only a few days away. I’ve already accepted his invitation. I’d feel bad if I canceled on him now. It would be rude.”

Noah scrunched up his eyebrows. “Accepted his invitation? What the hell do you think you’re going to, some debutante cotillion bullshit?” Sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

“I know
exactly
where I’m going. Jeremy’s party! Saturday night! With Brad!” I shouted, as I brushed passed him.

“I can’t figure out why he even asked you.” His words stopped me in my tracks. I turned back to let him see how hurtful what he said was to me.

“Thanks a lot.” I’m not sure what came over me. I stepped toward Noah and shoved hard against his chest. “That was a shitty thing for you to say to me.” I turned and started walking away.

He ran up to me, grabbed my elbow, and spun me around to face him. “Tweet. I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right. You know what I meant.”

I shrugged out of his grasp, taking a few steps back from him. I felt tears building, but I was determined to hold them back. “It came out just fine. I know
exactly
what you meant. No one like Brad could ever want to go out with anyone like me, unless he had an ulterior motive.”

“Dammit, woman! That asshole is nowhere near good enough to even be talking to you.” He started walking towards me. I held my hand up, letting him know not to come any closer.

“It’s fine. I’ve had the exact same question playing repeatedly in my head since he asked me out. It just hurts like hell when your best friend wonders the same thing.”

“I told you I didn’t mean it that way.” His jaw was clenched so tight, I swear I could hear his teeth grinding together.

“I need to go,” I said. Noah took one step toward me. “Noah, don’t.” I turned on my heels and started walking as fast as I could out of the park.

“Where are you going?” he yelled.

“Home!”

“You’re not walking home by yourself at night!”

“Yes I am!” I just kept walking, never turning back to look at him.

He followed a few steps behind me, in silence, the entire way home. As the house got closer, my steps got faster, until I ran up the steps on to the porch. I took the key out of my pocket and slipped it into the lock. I could feel Noah’s eyes on me, as he remained at the bottom of the steps.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Aren’t you going say goodnight?”

I kept my eyes glued to the front door and choked out, “Goodnight, Noah.”

“Goodnight, Tweet.” I could hear the anguish in his voice.

I started to twist the key to unlock the door, when I saw Noah’s arms come up on either side of me, his palms flat against the doorframe. His lips were at my ear.

As I felt his warm breath across my neck, shivers ran to every part of my body. I wanted to lean my head back on his shoulder and have him hold me like that all night. His mouth was so close, that when he talked, his lips lightly brushed against the shell of my ear. He whispered, “Please, don’t be mad at me. I just want to protect you.”

“I’m not mad. I’m scared,” I said breathless.

“Of what?”

“That we’re not going to be able to go back to the way we were. You’ve been back in my life for an hour and it already feels like we’re crossing that line. I just got you back. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I promised you I’d stay in the friend zone and I will. But the line has already been crossed, Tweet. I wish you’d step over it with me.”

I started to feel lightheaded and my knees were shaky. I inadvertently leaned back against his chest, trying to keep myself upright. He pushed off from the doorframe and wrapped his arms around my waist. Placing a soft kiss behind my ear, he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed the top of my head, dropped his arms, and stepped back. I heard his footsteps as he walked away.

I stood on my front porch playing tonight over in my head- his arms around me, his whispers in my ear, the way his chest felt against my back. My head began to hurt thinking about our argument earlier. I had just spent four months without him in my life. I wasn’t going to do anything to jeopardize our friendship and risk losing him again, no matter how much I wanted him. Going out with Brad will be good for both Noah and I. How quickly life can change direction. Earlier today, I felt like I was finally taking steps to move on. Now I find myself right back at square one.

Friday afternoon had finally gotten here. The past few days had been weird to say the least. I hadn’t talked to Noah since the other night, but I saw him everywhere. When Brad and I would come out of our class together, Noah would be there. When Brad and I were at my locker, Noah would be there. When Brad and I were at lunch, Noah would be just a few tables away. He never stopped watching us. I wanted to ignore him and be angry, but I couldn’t. I liked him watching me. It made me feel safe and cared for.

I was about to get in my car to leave school that afternoon, when I heard yelling coming from the direction of the boy’s locker room. I wasn’t able to make out who the voices belonged to or what they were yelling. I knew the baseball team was training today. Brad had told me he had to be there right after school, so he wouldn’t be waiting at my locker for me. I started to ignore the yelling and get in my car. Then I heard someone yell, “STEWART, GET OFF OF HIM!”

I threw my backpack in the car and ran towards the locker room. Rounding the corner, I saw Noah pushing Brad up against the brick wall. His jaw was clenched, the veins in his neck were popping out, and the muscles in his arms were strained and bulging against his t-shirt, I thought the sleeves were going to shred. Two other players tried to pull him off Brad, but they weren’t strong enough.

Holding a fist full of Brad’s shirt, Noah jerked him forward off the wall, and then slammed Brad back hard. He got right in Brad’s face and spoke through gritted teeth, “You’re going to break the goddamn date and leave her alone.”

I couldn’t tell if Brad was scared, angry, or both. He wasn’t fighting back.

He looked Noah in the eye and in a strained voice said, “What Amanda does is none of your business, Stewart. She’s a big girl. She can go out with whoever she wants and she
wants
me.” He gave Noah a smug smile. The boy’s got balls, I’ll give him that.

Noah pushed Brad into the wall again and said, “She’s always my business, asshole. If you touch her, I will fuck up that pretty face of yours.”

One of the other players, Spencer, said, “Stewart, come on. If Coach catches you, you’re off the team.”

Noah froze in position, sneering at Brad. After several more tense seconds, he released Brad from the death grip and backed away. He turned and saw me. My eyes connected with his. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. I was speechless. He broke our connection, turned and disappeared into the locker room, without saying a word. The other guys eventually followed.

I walked over to Brad who was leaning on the wall, bent over, his hands resting on his knees. I placed my hand on his shoulder and asked, “Are you alright?” He glanced at me and nodded his head. “Brad, I’m so sorry. I’ll talk to him. I don’t know what got into him.”