Pregnancy Plan (26 page)

“
Fine. You guys head on over and I’ll
join you later.” Michael strolled into the living room. Derek
followed behind him.

“
But Michael!”

“
Give it up, Jillian. He’s not
interested in the comings and goings of this small town.” Karen Ann
laid a hand on Jillian’s arm.

“
But he grew up here. He should care
what’s going on”

“
But he doesn’t. Let it go. Just be
glad he comes back to visit you.”

“
I guess you’re right. But I don’t
understand it.” She arranged the last dish in the dishwasher. “Do
you want to go or are you going to stay here with him?”

Karen Ann glanced toward the living room.
“I’d rather stay here with Michael. You and Derek go on and have
fun. We’ll see you in a little while.”

Jillian laid a hand on her friend’s
shoulder. “Are you sure?”

“
Yes, you go ahead.” Karen Ann walked
with Jillian around the counter.

“
Okay. You ready to go, Derek. It
seems these two don’t want to leave yet.”

He joined her at the back door and wrapped
his arm around her shoulders. “See you guys later.”

“
Make sure to lock up.” She followed
Derek out the door.

At the park, Jillian waited in the stands
for the game to start. The sun beat down on her head and she wished
for the hundredth time that she’d remembered a hat.

“
Where’s Derek?” Michael asked as
Karen Ann sat down beside Jillian.

“
He’s over there in the dugout.” She
pointed to the area where Derek had gathered with his teammates.
“You probably should get over there if you want to
play.”

“
So how did the mingling go? Did you
see anyone new?” Karen Ann questioned after Michael hurried
away.

“
No, we just walked around talking to
people. You know the ‘Hi, how are you?’ kind of thing.” Jillian
watched as the players started to stroll out onto the
field.

“
Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. So
why do I get the feeling you’re upset about something?”

Jillian snuck a peek at her best friend.
Karen Ann could read her like a book. Why couldn’t her husband?
“Because I am.”

“
Why? What happened?”

“
We were walking around talking to
different people when we ran into Greg Nelson and his wife. He runs
that new security business in Gilmore.”

At Karen Ann’s nod, Jillian continued.
“Well, you would have thought Derek had found a long lost friend.
They started talking about the security business. It was nice to
see him excited about something again, but then, he started telling
Greg about his plans for the future.”

Jillian gripped her hands in her lap. “A
total stranger. He stood there and told a total stranger about
plans that he hasn’t even bothered to tell me.”

Karen Ann placed an arm around her. “So what
did you do?”

“
What could I do? I just stood there.
Totally ignorant of what he was going to say next.” Jillian drew in
a deep breath and finished. “Sometimes I want to kill that
man.”

“
Well, at least you know what his
plans are now.”

“
Yeah, even if it wasn’t the way I
wanted to find out.”

The teams met in the center of the field.
Karen Ann stood up and waved at Michael. “It looks like they’re
about ready to get started.”

The coin flipped in the air. The crowd
cheered. Derek and Michael headed for the outfield. Karen Ann
settled back down on the bleachers. “Since we’re in the outfield
first, why don’t you tell me how you hurt your wrist?”

Jillian relayed the bare facts about what
happen. “I had a slight misunderstanding with Martin York.”

“
John Paul’s father?”

“
Yes. We disagreed on the way I was
handling a certain situation. Needless to say, things got a little
out of hand.”

“
Did you hit him?”

“
No, he just grabbed my wrist to
stress the point he was trying to make. It’s a little bruised so I
wrapped it up.” Thankful that Karen Ann couldn’t see the nasty
black-and-blue marks on her arm, Jillian tried to underplay the
seriousness of the fight. “We got it all worked out and neither of
us are the worse for wear.”

“
Sounds like there’s more to it than
you’re telling me, but I’ll let you off the hook because I know
Derek would kill anyone who tried to hurt you.”

Jillian centered her attention on the batter
swinging for the ball. Yelling to distract the batter it also
helped to divert her friend’s attention from their conversation.
Time moved slowly. As each team came to bat, Jillian’s mind seemed
to wander.

“
So how many outs do they have?” She
worked to renew her interest in the game.

Karen Ann checked the scoreboard. “Two with
no runs.”

“
How much longer is this game supposed
to last?” Karen Ann placed a cool can against her throat. “It’s
getting really hot out here.”

“
It’s supposed to last two hours or
until the ninth inning. Which means it could last longer than two
hours if we haven’t batted.”

Karen Ann checked her watch. “I think
they’ve already been playing for more than an hour. It’s ten after
three.”

Jillian checked the scoreboard. They were
losing three to one in the bottom of the fifth. “Derek is up after
Cheryl isn’t he?”

“
That’s the way they did it last
time,” Karen Ann agreed.

Cheryl strolled up to bat. Jillian cheered
when the ball sailed into the outfield. “She made it to first.”

“
Yeah, but we’ve got two outs.” Karen
Ann stared at the field.

Derek walked up to home plate and took a few
practice swings. “Come on, Derek, you can do it.”

“
Hit us a home run,” Karen Ann yelled
beside her.

“
Strike!”

“
Oh, that man must be blind,” someone
behind Jillian said.

“
Watch it, Derek,” Karen Ann
cheered.

With everyone watching anxiously, the next
pitch, Derek swung. The sound of the bat connecting with the ball
rang through the air, and he raced down the baseline. The ball flew
into left field and passed the outfielder. With no back fence, the
player had to run after the ball to get to it. The crowd burst into
mayhem, screaming and shouting with excitement.

He circled the bases. Jillian screamed along
with everyone else. Cheryl passed home plate with Derek five steps
behind her. With a quick turn, Cheryl met him as soon as he crossed
home plate. Hugging him, she planted a big kiss right on his
mouth.

Jillian’s joy faded as excited by his
homerun he kissed Cheryl back. He broke the kiss, threw back his
head and laughed while still holding her in his arms. Jillian’s
bubble of happiness burst when Derek grabbed Cheryl up and spun her
around in the air. Their teammates joined them on the field,
slapping and hugging both him and Cheryl with their
congratulations. The team headed for the dugout to celebrate the
tied score.

Hurt slammed into Jillian with a force that
paralyzed her for a moment. Thoughts of her life with Derek raced
through her mind.

He didn’t respond to her that way. He hadn’t
told her his plans for the future. He rarely laughed. Half the time
she couldn’t even get him to smile. Somehow, she’d failed him.

She fought to hide the pain pulsing through
her system. She wanted him to be happy. Maybe it was time to face
the fact that he couldn’t be happy with her.

Unable to stand the misery of her inadequate
love, she stood after the next batter ran to first. “Would you mind
driving Derek home? I think I’ll go home. “

“
Sure, Jill. Are you okay?” She could
feel Karen Ann’s eyes examining her. “What’s wrong?”

“
Nothing, the heat is getting to me.”
Jillian stepped down off the bleachers. “Why don’t you keep the
cooler? You’ll need it more than I will.”

“
All right.” Karen Ann paused for a
second. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“
See you later.” Jillian turned away
with a little wave. The maneuver hid her tears.

The truck parked under a tree on the
backside of the parking lot, she headed in that general direction,
struggling to put one foot in front of the other. The crowd around
the ball field gave way to a large empty field with a few tall
trees marking her course to Derek’s truck.

It took every ounce of determination Jillian
possessed to force herself away from the baseball game behind her.
The scene on the field haunted her, running through her mind like a
bad TV rerun, torturing her with a replay of his homerun. Her tears
flowed freely down her cheeks, her vision blurred. She approached
the truck, unlocked the door, and climbed in. Rolling down the
window to let out some of the heat, she was caught by surprise when
his hand landed on her shoulder.

Breathing hard, he asked. “Why didn’t you
answer me?”

She stared at him and shook her head. “I
didn’t hear you.”

Derek pushed the door open wider. “You want
to tell me what’s got you so upset?”

She didn’t want to discuss it and forced the
key into the ignition. “I’m just tired. Go back to the game.”

The key wouldn’t fit. She tried several
times but her hands fumbled with the process. Frustrated, she
struggled to start the truck, ignoring his pleading voice.

“
Jillian, I want to know what’s upset
you. Was it Cheryl kissing me?” His hand covered hers taking the
keys. “Answer me.”

She glanced at him. His hair was plastered
down by his ball cap to lay wet and dripping at his neck. Gray
eyes, bright with concern, watched her. His breathing was labored.
He looked wonderful.

“
I want to go home.” She couldn’t say
anything else.

“
Fine, I’ll take you.”

“
I can drive myself, if you’ll give me
back the keys.” She held out her palm.

“
No.” He stepped forward and shoved
her over as he climbed into the truck.

Jillian shifted as far away as possible for
him and buckled her seat belt. She stared out the passenger
window.

She’d tried to make him love her. Would’ve
done anything to make him happy. But something was holding him
back. He couldn’t communicate with her.

Guilt hit her. Was the lie she told to
protect him actually pulling him away from her? Somewhere in the
back of his mind, did he somehow know the truth?

Maybe, that was the reason he couldn’t tell
her he loved her.

But how could he make such beautiful love to
her if he didn’t?

Perplexed by the conflicting arguments, she
realized they were sitting in the driveway of their house. She
opened the door and got out. Not saying a word, Derek followed
along behind her.

Once inside, she walked over to the cabinet
and lifted down a glass. Her mother’s training kicked in. “Would
you like something?”

“
Thanks. That would be nice.” He stood
next to the counter watching her. She filled each glass with ice,
poured green tea into each, and then placed the pitcher back in the
refrigerator.

With his glass next to him, she lifted hers
to her lips.

“
Are you ready yet to tell me what’s
bothering you?” He picked up his glass.

Her eyes stroked his face, the flush of his
cheeks from the sun. His hair was still dripping sweat on his neck.
The ball cap now lay on the counter. Rage shot through her as his
cold gray stare.

Understanding forgotten, guilt shelved, her
anger ignited.

Lack of communication and the injustice of
him ignoring all her hard work in helping him recover heated her
temper. She slammed her glass back down on the counter, yelling her
frustration. “Why the hell should I bother telling you what’s wrong
with me when you can’t bother telling me what’s going on with
you?”

He set down his drink and shook his head.
“I’m not sure I understand what you just said, much less how to
respond.”

“
Why not try telling me”—she pointed
an finger at her chest—“your wife instead of a complete stranger,
what you have planned for the future?”

“
Is that why you’re mad? Because I
talked to Greg about a security job before I talked to you?” He
rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

“
No. I’m mad because you don’t talk to
me at all.” She stepped away from him.

“
And it has nothing to do with me
kissing Cheryl Hanson?”

Irritated by his lack of understanding,
Jillian strolled back to him and stood directly in front of him.
“Look, Derek.” She grabbed hold of his T-shirt. “This has nothing
to do with Cheryl. The problem is that you don’t love me.”

****

Derek stared at her, lost in the conflicting
information he had received. Karen Ann had said Jillian was upset
by Cheryl’s kiss. Jillian stated she didn’t like him talking to
Greg about a security job. Now, she claimed he didn’t love her.

“
Wait a minute. I might not understand
everything else that’s going on in that head of yours. But I don’t
think you can say that I don’t love you.”

She released the front of his shirt and
started to step away from him. He caught her by the shoulders. He
couldn’t let her retreat. He needed to know what she was talking
about.

“
Okay, when was the last time you told
me that you love me?” She crossed her arms in front of
her.