Pregnancy Plan (19 page)

“
It’s not that simple. Our
relationship has been years in the making.”

“
You could try talking about it.” She
dished out her food.

He stared at his plate, unwilling to discuss
the matter. “No, Jillian it’s not your problem.”

“
I disagree. I love you both and I
don’t like seeing you hurt each other.” She continued. “Why can’t
you let me help?”

“
No! This is between Jason and
me.”
The woman is as stubborn as a
mule.

“
Fine.” She stood and left the
room.

Derek watched her leave, knowing he should
call her back and make her eat. But—well—he didn’t want to deal
with her probing questions.

He finished dinner, cleaned up the kitchen,
and headed back upstairs. She would probably still be angry, and
he’d have to apologize.

The house dark, rain drumming against the
windows, he ascended the stairs. They creaked under his weight.
What should he say?

A caring person, Jillian was always trying
to fix other people’s problems. Yet, he didn’t want her involved in
his relationship between Jason and himself. They didn’t need her
meddling, but of course if he told her that, she’d never let him
back into bed.

In the bedroom, he could see her lying under
a sheet. He removed his shorts and climbed into bed. She lay
quietly beside him, not touching him.

Still, he couldn’t give her what she wanted.
His issues with his brother were just that: his issues.

****

Lighting flashed from the window, pulsing in
time with her troubled thoughts. Brain activity and Derek’s deep
breathing prevented Jillian from relaxing and falling asleep.

He refused to share his thoughts with her,
choosing instead to keep everything bottled up inside. It wasn’t
good for him. She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake
him, hard.

Yet, she wondered if he’d always been this
way. Even before his accident, he’d had a tight grip on his
emotions. Maybe, with his parents’ death, taking care of his
brother, and his strict military training, he’d learned that it was
better to hide what he was feeling.

But when they made love, the man was
incredibly gentle.

The sudden boom of thunder surprised
Jillian, but her husband’s shout scared her more.

“
No, not my baby,” he yelled, sat
straight up.

“
Derek!” She grabbed him by the arm.
“Wake up!”

Wide awake, heart racing, Derek scanned the
different objects in the bedroom—the dark oak dresser, the door to
the bathroom, Jillian’s hand on his arm. Stunned by the change of
scenery from that in his head, he tried to sort out where he
was.

His fingers ran through his hair, as
pictures raced through his mind—people, a car, a loud mind-numbing
explosion, blood splattered on the side of a building. Screams
vibrated through his head, and sent pain lancing through his skull.
His fingers touched the stitches on the back of his head.

Restless eyes settled on the thick oak
column in front of him. Its mate stood on the right. Blankets,
sheets, and other bedding lay around him. Where had the explosion
come from?

Time slowed. He listened. Rain beat hard
against the window. Thunder echoed in the distance. A flash of
light illuminated the floor by the bed.

She touched his arm. Her face lit by the
next round of lighting, reflected her concern. Slowly, he leaned
back against his pillow, and pulled her down across him, hugging
her close.

“
Are you okay, Derek?” Her voice rang
with her concern.

“
It’s all right, just a bad dream.” He
shifted so she lay almost on top of him.

“
Was it about the explosion?” She rose
up over him.

Through the darkness, he could see her pale
face. “Yes, but it’s all over now.”

“
Do you want to talk about
it?”

He didn’t want to scare her. “No point in
talking about it.”

“
I was in the dream wasn’t I?” Jillian
rubbed her hand over his chest. “You were trying to save
me.”

“
Yes,” he whispered through the haze
of images flashing through his mind.

“
Was I blown up in the
building?”

“
No.” He hesitated. “You were walking
in front of the building when it exploded. There was a lady—a woman
that looked like you. She had a large—she was pregnant. The
building exploded right behind her.”

“
Oh, Derek.” She wrapped her arms
around his neck. Her tears dripped on his chest. “I’m so
sorry.”

Her lips brushed over his cheek. The
strawberry smell of her hair and the smooth feel of her skin
reminded him of the fruit covered in whipped cream. She trailed wet
kisses over his neck to his ear. Her husky voice whispered, “I bet
I can divert your mind to a more interesting topic.”

His blood stirred. His fingers gripped the
firm flesh of her backside. “What did you have in mind?”

She raised her head. “Well, let’s think. We
could talk about baseball.”

“
Baseball?”

“
Yes, you know.” She ran little kisses
along his jaw. “First, you need a bat.” Her hand slid down his
body. “Then you need an appealing pitch.”

Her lips skimmed the edge of his. “I want
you.”

Her fingers ran over his chest. “Then if the
player is very skilled he can get a hit and move to first.”

One hand fell to her breast. She sighed.

“
Play ball,” he whispered before
covering her lips.

****

The busiest day of the week was finally
over. Tired, Jillian stood in her country kitchen, taking down the
paper plates that they could use for dinner. Her feet hurt.

“
How long until the pizza arrives?”
Kelly’s words broke a little of the silent tension bouncing around
the room.

“
They said it should be here in thirty
to forty-five minutes.” Derek’s hands slid around her waist. He
drew her back against him. His fingers played over her stomach. She
almost thought she could feel the baby moving.

Jillian smiled over her shoulder at him,
then thought of a topic that would help smooth out some of the
unrest in the room. “Can I tell them about our plans for the
house?”

He nodded and continued to rub her
stomach.

“
When we took out the loan to buy out
Michael’s interest in the house, we arranged to get some extra
money to do some remodeling. So far I had the exterior painted and
new windows put in.”

“
I told you the house looked
different.” Kelly pointed a finger at Jason. “It’s very
nice.”

“
I wanted to wait until Derek returned
home before I started working on the inside, so he could help me
pick out colors. We might even get some new furniture.” She paused
and glanced back at Derek. “Oh course, we’re not doing it all at
once. It'll probably take us the rest of the year to get everything
done.”

“
What are you doing first?” Jason
questioned.

Derek answered. “The baby’s room.”

“
Of course, we have to clean it out
first. It has all of Derek’s boxes in it,” Jillian
finished.

“
Are you also planning to remodel the
kitchen?” Kelly glanced around the room.

Jillian studied the scarred butcher-block
counter tops and chipped porcelain sink. “A few things.” She
explained her plans. The conversation continued through dinner.

“
The whole project sounds like it’ll
take a while to complete,” Jason said before he popped the last
bite of his pizza into his mouth.

“
But it sounds like fun.” Kelly sent
her fiancé a menacing look.

Something was definitely wrong between the
two of them. Jillian brushed her concerns for them aside and stood.
“We’re in no hurry.”

She grabbed an empty pizza box and set it on
the counter. “Derek, why don’t you show your brother your new
hiding place while Kelly and I will clean up the kitchen?”

Derek stood, kissed Jillian on the cheek,
and led the way out the back door. “Come on, Jason, I’ll show you
my new workshop.”

A wistful look flashed across Kelly's face
as she watched the men walked away. Jillian noticed that Jason
hadn’t bothered to kiss her before he left.

“
Are you and Jason doing okay?” She
stuffed the boxes in the trash.

“
Yes.” Kelly added the paper plates to
the pile. “Why do you ask?”

“
It just seems like—there’s a
problem.” Jillian led the way into the living room, sank onto the
couch, and kicked up her feet. “Why haven’t you two set a date
yet?”

“
I guess you could say it’s my fault.
I keep stalling.”

“
Why?”

Long, manicured fingers toyed with the
fringe of a decorative pillow. “Jason wants children, I’m not so
sure that I do. My career is important to me.” Kelly’s voice
sounded confident, but a little forced.

“
Why can’t you have both?”

“
I just don’t want to devote the time
it takes to having a family right now when my job requires so many
hours.” She twisted the fabric of the pillow into a
knot.

“
That makes sense. Doesn’t Jason
understand?”

“
He says he does, but he refuses to
get married until I’m ready to start a family.”

Jillian shook her head. “I don’t
understand.”

“
I don’t know, maybe he’s afraid I’ll
never want to have children.” Kelly grumbled, “I think it’s his way
of convincing me.”

“
Is it working?”

Kelly’s face crumbled and tears filled her
eyes. “No, because I can’t have children.”

Jillian wrapped her arms around Kelly's
shoulders, sharing her heartache and struggling to offer
comfort.

“
When I was nineteen,” she explained
between fits of sobbing, “they found a growth on my uterus.” She
wiped her tears, but the flow didn't stop. “It wasn’t cancer
but...because of the size, they removed part of my uterus.” She
gulped in a quick breath. “Which means I can’t carry a baby full
term.”

With a hiccup, she shoved her blond hair off
her shoulder and started again. “At the same time, they tied my
tubes so I couldn’t conceive.”

Jillian winced at the sight of Kelly's
agony.

“
If I tell Jason, he’ll hate
me.”

Jillian wanted to console her. “No, he
won’t. He loves you.”

“
He’ll say I lied to him, but I
didn’t,” Kelly cried. “I just told him I didn’t want
kids.”

“
Maybe you could adopt. Strangely
enough I heard about someone the other day that might be trying to
find a home for her baby.” Jillian fought to give Kelly some type
of hope for a future. “She is just out of high school and wants to
go to college. Her boyfriend dumped her, so she’s scared and
alone.”

A tiny spark flickered in her eyes. “Do you
think she'd be willing to let us adopt her baby?”

“
I don’t know. I haven’t talked to
her. But I know she doesn’t want to get an abortion.” Jillian
patted Kelly’s arm. “Maybe if you guys help her by giving her a job
and letting her get to know you, she might consider it.”

Would Jason go for this idea? She honestly
didn't know her brother-in-law well enough to know for sure, but
she knew she had to try. “But first you have to tell Jason the
truth.”

****

Derek sanded a little harder on the piece of
wood he was working with. “I’m not throwing you out, Jason. I just
want to sell the condo.”

“
But why sell it now?”

“
I want the extra money to help with
the remodeling Jillian has planned.”

“
I thought it sounded a little
expensive.”

“
Probably. And with the baby coming, I
want to have some extra cash available.” Derek continued sanding
the crib. If his brother was the adult his wife claimed him to be,
it was time he stood on his own. “Besides, Jillian wouldn’t ever
live there, so there’s no point in my hanging onto it. I might as
well sell.”

“
That makes sense,” Jason
answered.

“
If you want, I’ll let you have first
dibs on buying it.”

“
How much do you want for
it?”

“
Don’t know. I’ll need to get it
appraised. Interested?”

“
Maybe.” Jason examined one of the
table saws and brushed his feet over the sawdust on the foot. “I
didn’t know you enjoyed making things with wood. I remember Dad
showing us how when we were younger, but you never seemed very
interested.”

“
To tell you the truth I didn’t enjoy
it then, but now that I don’t have Dad telling me what to do and
making me clean up after him, I find it’s kind of fun.”

“
Yeah, he used to make me sweep the
floor before I cut any piece of wood. Said I had to know how to
clean up my own mess. It was just his way of getting me to clean up
after him.” Jason smiled fondly.

“
He was a crafty old
devil.”

Studying the cradle, Jason suddenly looked
up. “So how do you like being married?”

Derek stared at his brother, judging his
response to his answer. “It’s wonderful. You should try it.”

“
It's not going to happen any time
soon. Kelly doesn’t want to have children and I refuse to get
married until she is ready to start having a family.”

“
Is that really fair?”