Precipice (Tribe 2) (3 page)

The realization struck me like a slap across the face.  I almost closed off the energy, I was so shocked. 
I love him?
  Searching my feelings, I realized it was true—I did love Alex.  And I’d do anything to make him happy.

That just made the situation all the more precarious.  Could I trust myself to make the right decisions, when my heart was on the line?  Not only did I care about Mrs. Baxter…I loved her son.  I couldn’t bear the idea of him facing the heartache of his mother dying.  I couldn’t stand the look in his eyes if the doctors delivered that news.  I’d do anything to save him from that pain.

Anything but give up my entire family.

Yet I found myself, unwittingly, letting more energy flow.  When I realized it, my heart skipped, and I pulled back.  I had to be extremely careful, if I wanted to avoid another Baxter family miracle. 

I concentrated harder, trying to see inside Mrs. Baxter’s body.  I knew that body scans over a long distance was impossible, and you had to be touching—or close enough to touch—in most cases, in order to get a clear scan of someone internally.  But I thought that maybe if I tried hard enough, I could see
something
.

I closed my eyes and concentrated, imagining myself in the room beside her.  I imagined myself moving my hands over her, and tried to recall what her body had looked like inside
when I’d gotten a brief look.  At first, I saw nothing.  Then a hazy image came into view.  The hot spots in her belly looked cooler now.  I let the energy flow for another minute, then slowly tapered it off. 

When I was done, I opened my eyes, and pressed my ear closer to the crack, listening to the monitor.  The heart rate had evened out a little more.  Hopefully I hadn’t gone too far, and I had just stopped the bleeding.  I worried about possible swelling in her brain, but I thought that if the bleeding stopped, the swelling had probably stopped as well.  At least, she’d have a chance of survival.

Chapter 4

As I pulled my eye back from the door crack, a noise made me jump.  Somewhere, down a hall, voices approached.  Fortunately, they were deeper in the surgical ward, not coming from the direction of the doors leading to the waiting room. 

I hustled down the hall and slipped out the doors, shutting them qui
etly behind me.  Alex was there, waiting.

“How is she?  Will she be okay?” he whispered, casting a glance back
to where his father sat, head in his hands. 

“I don’t know.  We’ll have to
see how things go.”

“I thought you were going to help her?” he raised his voice.

I shushed him.  “I did!” I hissed.  “But I told you I could only help her enough to give the doctors an edge.  If they go in there and find healing bones and healed-up trauma, she’ll end up in some medical journal article!”

“I know, I know.  I’m sorry.”  He paced away, running his hands through his hair.  Then he turned and walked back.  “Can you at least tell me how she looked?  What did you see?”

“I couldn’t get close enough for a full body scan—I got caught.  But from the little bit I saw…it’s bad.”

The air whooshed out of him.  “How bad?”

“There was a lot of internal bleeding—more than they were expecting, I think.  She’s really bad off, Alex.  You need to be prepared for that.”

“Are you saying you couldn’t help her?”

He wasn’t thinking clearly.  He was a wreck.

“I did help her.  After they wheeled her into surgery, I went back and stayed outside the doors for a while.  I sent her as much energy as I thought I could get away with.  I wanted to give her more—it took everything in me to force myself to stop.  But I had to.”

“I know.”  He looked away, clenching his jaw.  “I understand.  I mean, part of me wants to throttle you, if I’m being honest, but…I could never ask you to sacrifice your own mom—your whole family—for mine.”  He blew out a sigh.  “Was she…was there a lot of pain?”

I cringed and looked away.  How could I tell him?  I still felt physically ill from the tremendous force of the pain that emanated from his mother. 

When I looked back at him, he turned his face away, and I could see he was blinking back tears. 

“That bad, huh?”

“She was unconscious.  I don’t think she was aware of it…but yes, her body was experiencing a lot of pain.”

“She wasn’t conscious at all?”

I shook my head.  “It’s a blessing—when she wakes up, the worst of it will be over, and they’ll have her on pain medication.  And then maybe I can do a little more for her.  I’m sorry I couldn’t do more now.”  I slid my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. 

He put his arms around me and laid his cheek against my hair. “I know.  I don’t have to be a Healer to feel how much you regret having to hold back.  I’m so grateful for you.”  He kissed the top of my head.  “And not just because you can help.  Even if
you couldn’t help Mom at all, I just need you by my side.  I couldn’t get through this without you.”

I nestled against him, relishing the warmth of his body.

Then I heard his heartbeat, thrumming against his chest like a siren’s call.

Oh crap!

“Uh…you know…I really need to go to the bathroom.”  I smiled up at him, sheepishly.  “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll walk you.”

“No!  Uh…no need.  Go check on your Dad.  He needs you.”  I turned around and headed for the nearest bathroom before he could object. 

The hunger was welling up inside me, and I felt overwhelmingly tired.  By the time I got to the bathroom, and locked the door behind me, my hands were shaking.  Fortunately, it was one of those single-user unisex bathrooms, so there was no risk of interruption. 

I hung my purse on the coat hook on the back of the door, unzipped it, and pulled out the fake insulin kit.  There was a round, flat-topped garbage can in the bathroom—the kind with the foot pedal so you don’t have to touch the lid.  I took a couple of the paper towels from the dispenser and laid them over the trashcan’s top.  Then I laid out the handkerchief, the scalpel, and the wipes.  Then I reached back into my purse and pulled out the cool bag of blood.  I didn’t even want to mess with trying to open the bag’s port—I just sliced off a small corner, and drained the bag like I was a kid at summer camp draining a Capri Sun juice packet. 

When I was done, I wiped blood away from my lips with the back of my hand, then licked the blood off
in the sink.  I noticed I’d gotten a few drips on the floor when I had opened the bag, but I resisted the urge to lick that up, too.  I was glad the hunger was under control this time—if it wasn’t, I’d have licked the floor, I’m sure.  How gross would that have been?  Ugh! 

I washed off my hands, then used a sani-wipe to clean my hands and my mouth.  I wiped up the floor and stuffed all the trash from my blood binge into a Ziploc bag inside my purse, then I rinsed out my mouth with a little water, checked myself in the mirror for any stray blood droplets, and returned to the waiting room.

Alex sat beside his Dad, talking in hushed tones.  I sat on Alex’s right side, and he took my hand and squeezed it.  Then I saw his eyes drop down. 

“What’s that?”

I followed his gaze…right down to my purse.  It sat in my lap, gaping open on one side, with a corner of the Ziploc bag protruding.  I hadn’t zipped my purse up all the way.

Cursing myself for my carelessness, I stuffed the Ziploc back into my purse and zipped it fast.  “Uh…nothing. I brought a snack, in case we were here for a while.  You know…low blood sugar.”

“Oh!  That’s right.”  I could see Alex putting it together—I’d told him that the night I had healed him, I’d had to rush off because I got low blood sugar whenever I healed someone.  “I’m sorry, go ahead and eat.  Or maybe we should see if there’s a vending machine—”

“No, that’s alright.  That’s sort of why I ran off.  I didn’t bring extras, and I didn’t want to eat in front of you.”

Mr. Baxter looked up.  “Ember, if you’re hungry, Alex could go with you to get something.  The cafeteria would be closed, but you could run out to a fast food place—”

“Oh, no thank you Mr. Baxter.  I’m alright now.  Besides, I’m not a fan of fast food.  I’m happy to stay right here.  My mom kn
ew I’d be gone a while—that’s why she sent me with a snack.”

“If you’re sure…”

I could feel his concern, and I think he was a little relieved to have someone to worry about besides his wife.  As the minutes turned to hours, with no word from the surgeons, I did my best to keep their minds off the situation, or to help them think positively.  I knew how important it was to put out positive energy in a situation like that, and how difficult it must be for them.  I wanted to give them some soothing energy, but I’d only brought in one blood bag from the car.  I thought that was enough, since I only healed Mrs. Baxter partially, but the energy could be sneaky—sometimes you gave a lot more than you realized you did.

We waited for endless hours, with a nurse coming out to update us twice.  The first time she updated us, I could feel her tension and receding fear, and I was pretty sure they’d lost Mrs. Baxter, but had been able to bring her back.  I didn’t tell Alex my suspicions.

At last she was out of surgery, and in recovery.  She’d be transferred to the ICU soon, but the nurse couldn’t say when she’d be allowed to have visitors. 

Mr. Baxter wouldn’t leave, and he insisted that Alex and I go home, despite Alex’s protests.  Only when Mr. Baxter promised to call him immediately with any news, did Alex relent. 

When we got to the car, I unlocked it with my key fob, and he held the door open for me.  I sat in the driver’s seat and he closed the door, walking around to the passenger side.

Then I saw the
insulated backpack.  Sitting right in the seat Alex was heading for, with bags of blood in it. I had left them in the car, knowing the ice packs would keep them cool.  I had assumed I wouldn’t need more than one bag—at least not right away.  If I had needed more, I would have excused myself after drinking the first bag, and run out to the car for the rest.

I snatched the backpack just as he opened his door, then I hopped out and popped the trunk, stuffing the bag inside and slamming it quick.
  I normally would never have left the bag sitting on the seat in plain sight, but I’d been so frazzled when I arrived.  I cursed myself for my carelessness.

“I could have done that for you,” he said when I climbed back in.

“No biggie.  It’s just some library books.”

I started the car and backed out of the parking space, feeling terrible for lying to him.

Chapter 5

It was nearly dawn when I made it back home.  Mom had been waiting up for me—but when I came in, she just gave me a long look, then took the backpack of blood bags I’d laid on the kitchen table, got up and went upstairs to bed.  Even after I heard the door to her room close softly, I could feel a tumultuous wave of relief, irritation, and confusion wafting down the stairs toward me. 

Too exhausted to dwell on my mom or the situation, I trudged up to my room, changed, and crawled under the covers.

I slept the morning away.  When I finally crawled out of bed at noon, my head was foggy and I could barely think. 

But my senses went on full alert when I heard a quiet voice from downstairs. 

It was Alex.

I strained to listen, and realized he was at the front door.  I was so anxious to hear about his mother that I didn’t care about how I looked.  But I was in only a tank top and shorts, with no bra—I needed to find my robe. 

As I peered into my closet, reaching for my robe, I heard my mother’s voice.  That was bad.  Very bad.  I strained to listen as I dug through the pile of clothes on the closet floor, looking for the robe I didn’t bother to wear that often. 

“Well, I’m glad your mom is doing well, Alex.  And I’m certainly glad that you’re grateful for Ember’s help.  You should be.”

Oh, God, what is she doing?
  The last thing I needed was Mom laying a guilt-trip on Alex—especially when she was in “mother bear” mode.  I dug faster, tossing things out of the closet.  Only the humiliation of running down the stairs braless under my thin tank stopped me from leaving my room. 
How is there not even a bra in this giant heap of clothes?

“I know she’s told you about our…unique family situation,” Mom said.  I could almost hear her crossing her arms and pinning him with her rarely-used “stern mom expression.”

“Yeah, she told me.”  I could feel Alex’s discomfort.

It infuriated me.  Why couldn’t Mom just stay out of it?

“Then you know how much danger she’s in—just for helping you?  And then you go and beg her to help your mother?  Believe me, Alex, I don’t blame you.  But this is why we don’t tell people.  They’d inundate us with requests to help every family member, every friend, every family pet that was sick.  We’d be at risk.  We’d be exposed. Do you get that?  Ember could be exposed for healing you.  Did she tell you what would happen then?”

“Yes…they might take her in.  Study her.”

I gave up on the closet, glancing frantically around the room.  I saw my hoodie on the back of the door, grabbed it, and slipped into it as I opened my bedroom door.

“Not
might
, Alex. 
Will!
  They will haul her off, and none of us would ever see her again.  They’ll probe her and test her, expose her to all kinds of stuff.  My husband is a research doctor.  I’ve never even told the children about the things that could happen if they were ever taken in.  It’s the kind of things that gives a mother nightmares.”

I zipped up the hoodie as I strode toward the stairs. 
Shut up, Mom!
  I shot a wave of irritation out toward her as I went.

“I’
m sorry, Mrs. Perry.  I know I shouldn’t have asked in the first place.  But I promise, I’ll never ask again—”

“Of
course
you will.  If anyone you love is injured or seriously ill again, you’ll ask.  You’ll ask, because you love them.  You’ll ask because you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t try to help.  And Ember will help you, because she couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t.  That’s just the kind of girl she is.  She’ll suffer, because of you.”

I rushed down the steps, eager to stop my mother.  I could feel Alex’s guilt, and the rising of Mom’s fury.

“It’s bad enough that you risked Ember, but you risked our
whole family
.  And not only that, you risked the lives of everyone in that hospital.  The staff, the patients, even your own father—”

No!
  Oh God, she couldn’t.  “Mom, no!” I called as I reached the bottom of the stairs.

But she must not have heard me, in her anger
, or noticed my swelling fear.

“If Ember had gone into bloodlust, she could have killed everyone in her path, including you! It would have been bloodshed and terror, all over the hospital, and in the end, she’d have been gunned down by SWAT teams, all because she wanted to help.  She’s too young to understand—”

I tore through the living room and into the entry hall where mom stood.  “No, no no no no!” I yelled.

“Wait—what?” Alex stuttered.  “What are you—?”

“Mom, no!  Stop talking!” I grabbed her arm, breathless from my sprint, and my desperation to stop her, even though I knew it was too late.

Alex was dumbstruck.  “Ember, what is she talking about?”  He was looking at my mother as if she’d lost her mind. 

Good.  Let’s go with that.
  “Alex, don’t listen to her—”

My mother swung her gaze from me, to Alex, and back to me again.  “You didn’t tell him?  I thought you told him everything!”

“Mom, shut up!  Please?” I begged.

“Ember, what the hell is going on?” Alex demanded.  Behind his confusion, I felt anger welling up.  “What is she talking about…bloodshed?  And me and my dad getting killed?”

I gaped in horror, shaking my head.  “Don’t listen to her, Alex.”

“Oh no you don’t, young lady,” my mother snapped.  “You wanted to tell him the truth?  Fine, tell him the
whole
truth!  He deserves to know what kind of danger he’s in for, if he ever asks you to heal again.”

“No, mom.  No!”  I walked toward Alex, and tried to push him out the door.  “You shouldn’t be here right now.  She’s mad about last night.”

“Clearly.”  His tone was cold, and he wouldn’t let me budge him.  He had all his strength back, and then some, and it felt like I could push on him all day, and never move him an inch out the door. 

I clutched at his shirt.  “Please, Alex!” I begged, tears in my eyes.  “Let’s just go.  We’ll talk in the car, I promise.”

He cast an angry glance at my mother, then at me.  “No.  It’s obvious you’re trying to hide something.  Something your mother thinks I should know.  You were being evasive last night about something.  Is that what this is about?”

I could sense Mom’s regret—she had let her temper get the best of her, and now she was realizing the possible repercussions.  I knew she would be thinking that even though he knew half the truth, we were all better off if Alex didn’t know about the blood-drinking—that if he was repulsed by the truth, he could expose us all. 

I knew Alex would never do that.  But could he ever look me in the eye again?

“Alex,” Mom said, switching to her peacemaking tone.  “I apologize.  I’m tired. I was up late waiting for Ember.  I don’t know what I’m saying, to be honest.”

“Really?  You don’t remember using the word
bloodlust
?”  He turned to me.  “Ember, I gave you my word that I’d never tell anyone—not as long as you told me the truth.  But if you won’t tell me…”

Mom sighed.  “Tell him.”  She rubbed her temples, looking away.  “What choice do we have now?”

“No!”  I wheeled my gaze from one to the other. “Please, I can’t…”

“Someone had better tell me…
now
.”  Alex glared at us both, his arms crossed in defiance.

“I’ll tell you,” Mom sighed.

“No!  Mom, please, he won’t understand—”  I pulled on her arm, trying to drag her back into the living room, but she shook me off.

“Ember!  Just stop.  You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.  Listen, Alex…you can’t tell anyone this.  If this part of our secret got out, they would go on a witch hunt, looking for every Healer in the country…no, in the whole world!  You’d be endangering the lives of men, women, children, even babies—”

“I don’t understand. What could make the government want to hurt children—?” He looked down at me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

The tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t look at him.  I laid my head on his chest and clung to him, hoping he would remember who I had always been to him, instead of the monster I knew he was bound to see me as.

“Blood.”  My mom crossed her arms in resignation.  “We drink blood.”

“What?!”  Alex barked out a laugh.  “Is this some kind of a joke?” 

I could feel him looking down at me, but I just kept staring at the floor. 

“Ember?”

I couldn’t speak.

“What, so…you’re like…vampires?”  He laughed again, but this time there was no humor in it.  Denial mixed with confusion, as shock seeped in, to complete his mélange of emotions.

I glanced up at my mother, who gazed at him with a deadpan expression.  “No,” she snapped.  “
Not
like vampires.  I detest that word.  It’s a silly, superstitious word used by ignorant and fearful people. It’s just a matter of replenishing energy.  We expend so much energy when we do a major healing that our life force is depleted.”

“Y
ou’re serious?” His arm dropped from my shoulder. “You told me that you don’t use your own energy.”

“She doesn’t…exactly.”  Mom took a hesitant step forward.  “We use the universal life force energy, but it takes a great effort to open
our channels wide enough for complete healing.  No one knows exactly how or why it works that way, but it does.  When we heal someone who is severely injured or terminally ill, it…just takes a lot out of us.  Blood is the only thing that replenishes us.  And if we don’t get it soon enough after a major healing…bad things happen.”

“That’s what you meant by bloodlust?”  He stepped back, away from me, and toward the door. 

I wrapped my arms around myself miserably, too humiliated to speak.

“So you just—what—pop out your teeth and kill everyone in the hospital?”

“No!” I finally looked up at him, and what I saw tore at my soul. 

Shock and disgust riddled his face, and I could feel his anger, confusion, and fear rising up. 

“Alex, please understand.  It’s not like that!  We’re very careful.  When we heal someone, we always try to plan ahead, and bring along pint bags of blood.  We don’t take blood from live people, if we can help it.  And Mom exaggerated, really.  It’s not like everyone is in danger every time we do a major healing.  If we’re prepared, there’s no danger to anyone.  And we don’t have teeth—that’s just a myth.  If we have to feed on a live person, as a last resort, we use a knife and make a clean cut, and heal it when we’re done!”

He shook his head.  “Well, that sounds very…civilized.”  His mouth puckered in
disdain.  He turned to my mother.  “Then what were you talking about…when you said my Dad and I were in danger…?”

“I only meant you’d have been in danger if Ember didn’t do things the right way.  Like she did the first time.”

“The first time?”  His gaze swung back to me.  “When you healed
me?”

I nodded. “I…I didn’t plan it.  I didn’t even want to go to the fundraiser because…I…”

“She can’t help herself,” Mom finished.  “She’s soft-hearted, and generous…to a fault.  She felt bad for you, and she went too far.  And Jenna almost paid the price.”

“What are you talking about?”  He narrowed his gaze as the truth hit him.  “When you said you had to go…that you weren’t feeling well…that was…was…bloodlust?”

I turned my head away, my face burning with shame.

“You healed me at a fundraiser full of families…with my parents there…knowing full well you weren’t prepared to handle the aftermath?”

“I’m sorry…I just…”

“Couldn’t help yourself?”  He repeated my mother’s words, shaking his head and looking away.  “You said you felt a connection…a bond.  But I wasn’t anything more than just your latest charity case, was I?”

“No, of course not—!”

“I get it now.  That’s why you keep telling me that my feelings aren’t real—that it’s just some kind of Florence Nightingale effect.  Because
you
don’t feel anything for
me
.”

“That’s not true!”

“I’m just someone you felt sorry for.  This has never been about us. It’s about
you
—feeling good about yourself, feeling like a hero.  You go around healing people without thinking, without even giving them the choice as to whether they want a fricking blood-sucking vampire to be hovering over them, when the bloodlust hits!”

“Alex, please—” I reached out to him.

He jerked back, evading my grasp.  “I can’t deal with this.  I can’t believe you lied to me.”  He backed out the door, pushing open the screen door and letting it bang shut.  “Stay away from my mother.”  He lifted a hand to point his finger at me.  “Don’t go near her.  She doesn’t need your kind of help.  Just stay away…from
both
of us.”

He spun on his heel and stalked out the door toward his car. 

My legs turned to rubber, and I sank to the floor, sobbing.  Pain seared my chest, and I could barely choke out a breath as sobs wracked my body.  My mother knelt beside me laying a hand on my shoulder.