Precedent: Book Three: Covenant of Trust Series (17 page)

“
Dad, what’s going on with Mom?” Joel asked without saying hello.

“
Nothing. I mean everything’s still wearing on her.” He held the phone and wriggled out of his suit jacket. “But I don’t think it’s anything major.”

“
Did you hear what she said?”

“
I was right there.”

“
That’s not like her. It worries me a little.”

Chuck dropped into his chair, swiveling it to face the back wall of his office. “Then this is gonna sound really bad.”

“
What? There’s more?”

“
She wants to buy Ryan a car for his birthday. Like today, before we go out to dinner.”

“
You can’t get him a car. That’s too much.”

“
It’s the only thing she’s shown any initiative with or interest in lately.”

“
Again, that’s not like her. She’s depressed again, isn’t she?”

“
Probably, but I think she’s got reason to be.”

“
Is she suicidal?”

“
No! That’s crazy.” Completely. She wasn’t. Couldn’t be.

“
How did she pitch the idea of getting the car?”

“
She wanted to do something special for Ryan, and we may not get the chance to do anything like this for our other grandchildren.”

“
See, that fatalism? That’s exactly what I mean.”

“
I’m as concerned about her as I’ve ever been, but do the math. If you had a baby today, I’d be almost eighty before he could drive. She has a point.”

“
Maybe,” Joel mumbled.

“
This is important to her. I think we need to let her do it.”

“
On one condition,” Joel said. “Well, two conditions. One, you don’t get anything extravagant, and two, if she does anything else like this, anything out of character, you get her under a doctor’s care for depression.”

“
Joel—”

“
I’m serious,” Joel said with a childlike urgency in his voice. “I’ve lost a brother, my sister’s left home, and I can’t . . . I don’t want my mother stolen away by grief and depression.”

Chapter 11

Formality

Just three hours, that’s all, Bobbi coached herself as she smoothed foundation across her cheeks. Three hours tonight, and three hours on Sunday. Focusing on Ryan’s car would get her through.

She finished putting on her makeup, touched up her hair and dutifully put in the earrings Chuck bought her for a past anniversary. She checked herself in the mirror. Convincing enough. Unless she tried to smile. Three hours.

She picked up her purse and walked over to switch on the bedside lamp. Her devotional book lay on the nightstand, untouched since the night before Brad’s death.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness
, the cover announced. It’s great. Just not great enough. It had lapses. The devotional books never mentioned that, though. They had no solace for those moments when God turned His back, or closed His eyes. Where were the quick and easy answers for that?

She heard the front door open, which meant Chuck was home. She took the book from its spot, and on her way out of the bedroom, she dropped it in the wastebasket.

Chuck caught her on the staircase and kissed her lightly. “You look fabulous. You sure you want to be seen with me?”

“
Not really. Want to stay home?”

He frowned and slipped his hand around hers. “I think this will be good for you. Besides, we’re going car shopping, remember?”

“
Oh, I have Joel’s permission?”

“
He said nothing extravagant.”

“
Let’s go, then,” Bobbi said. The sooner she went, the sooner she’d get it over with.

Car shopping proved simpler than she envisioned. They went to the Toyota dealer she always bought from and quickly narrowed down her choices. Chuck never protested they could get a better deal somewhere else. He gave her positive, constructive comments but let her make the decision. After a few quick signatures, the dealer promised to have the Rav4 detailed before Chuck picked it up tomorrow afternoon. Mission accomplished. But dinner still loomed.

In the car, she made a show of flipping through the dealer’s paperwork before she stuffed it deep in her purse. When Chuck pulled into a restaurant she didn’t recognize, everything tensed, her neck, her shoulders, but especially her stomach. For a moment, she wondered if throwing up would get her a trip home.

Oliver’s Twist was a new grill featuring live music on the weekends. Chuck opened her car door, walked her across the lot, then held the restaurant’s door for her. Inside the dimly lit foyer, loud music greeted them and wait staff in brightly patterned shirts and wireless mikes charged back and forth.

“
Oh, we’re way too old for this place,” Bobbi protested.

“
Nonsense.”

Chuck took her hand and pulled her to the host’s stand. A moment later, the smiling young man led them to their table. He took their drink orders, then disappeared. Chuck reached across the table for her hand. “Thank you.”

“
For what?”

“
For giving me that hand in marriage years ago, and for coming to dinner. I know you didn’t want to go out tonight, but you did it. That means a lot to me.”

“
I learned a long time ago that you don’t listen to me when I say no.”

A pianist, a guitarist and a drummer took their places on the small stage across the room from them. Once set, the guitarist began to sing a soft ballad. “Not your typical lounge lizards,” Bobbi said, nodding toward the band.

“
May I?” Chuck asked.

“
May you what?”

“
May I have this dance?”

“
We’ll look ridiculous.”

“
No, we won’t. It will be very touching and romantic. I’ll get all the other husbands in trouble.”

“
At least your motives are pure,” Bobbi said. “Not tonight.”

“
When was the last time we got to dance?”

“
Christmas party.”

“
That was months ago.”

Bobbi pulled her hand away from his and leaned across the table. “I don’t want to be here. Don’t push it.”

Chuck slumped back in his chair and sighed. “What can I do? How can I bring you out of this?”

“
You can’t. You can’t bring Brad back, and you can’t bring Shannon home.”

“
Then how can I help you carry it?”

“
I don’t think you can. I doubt anybody can.”

* * *

Sunday, July 13

From the kitchen window, Joel saw his parents roll up in a shiny, silver Rav4, and a moment later, Jack pulled in behind them in his father’s Impala. “Here they are, Abby. She did good.”

He stepped back so Abby could look out the window. “It’s perfect for him,” she said. “I still can’t believe your mother.”

“
Me, either.” He followed Abby to the front door, pausing at the steps. “Ryan! Your grandparents are here!”

“
Which ones?”

“
My parents, and Jack.”

The teenager tromped down the stairs and strode to the front door, a step ahead of Joel and Abby. “You guys get a new car?” Ryan asked as he held the door open for them.

Joel watched his mother carefully, but she played it very cool. “We bought a car,” she said. “What do you think?”

“
It’s nice. Doesn’t look much like a grandparent’s car, though.”

“
That’s what I thought, too.” She hooked his arm and steered him toward the car. “I want you to see the stereo.”

Ryan lowered his voice. “Nobody calls it that anymore.”

“
Seriously?”

“
Sound system,” he said with an insider’s nod.

She opened the driver’s side door for Ryan, as the rest of them crowded in closer. “Have a seat.” Ryan carefully eased into the driver’s seat. He gripped the steering wheel, then adjusted the rearview mirror.

Joel slipped an arm around Abby’s shoulder. “Won’t be long, Buddy, till you’re behind the wheel.”

“
Of Mom’s car,” he muttered. “Nothing like this.”

“
So this car is cool?” Joel’s mother asked, without the slightest hint of a smile, without any sparkle in her eyes.

“
Way.”

“
Cool enough for a sixteen-year-old grandson?”

“
What?” Ryan asked. Joel grinned as Ryan sputtered. “You’re not . . . Are you . . . No way!”

She handed him the keys. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

“
For real?” Ryan cradled the keys and looked up at Joel for confirmation. “Can I take it for a drive?”

“
You already know how to drive?” his mother asked. At least her surprise seemed genuine.

“
Mom, you know how it is with guys and cars,” Joel admitted.

“
Don’t you at least need an adult in the car?” Abby asked.

“
Jack counts! Come on!”

“
Don’t wreck it the first day,” Joel called. Ryan shook his head as Jack climbed in the car. “Abby, we’re ruined. We’ll never top this.”

When the car disappeared around the corner, Abby motioned to Joel’s parents. “Let’s get you folks inside where it’s air conditioned.” She swung the front door open. “You coming?” she called to Joel.

“
I want to wait for Ryan. You know, give him the standard lecture.”

“
Of course,” Abby said. “Should’ve guessed.”

Joel shuffled over and sat down on the porch step to wait. His mother seemed fine just now, like normal. Was he the one overreacting? Clearly, she was able to get out, shop and choose an ideal car, three or four years old, cheap to maintain, and great gas mileage. Maybe they were all underestimating her.

After a few minutes, Joel spotted the Rav4 maneuvering carefully down their street back to its original spot in front of the house. Ryan clambered out of the car, grinning broadly. “Can you believe this?” he said, patting the car’s roof.

“
No, I can’t,” Joel said. “She never did anything like that with us, did she, Jack?”

Jack locked his passenger door and shuffled to the porch, faking dejection. “Now we know who she likes best.”

“
Give us a minute, okay?” Joel asked.

“
Sure.” Jack continued his shuffle through the front door. “I’ll get first shot at the food this way.”

“
I don’t think I could eat right now anyway,” Ryan said.

As soon as Jack shut the door, Joel said, “You know you cannot tell your other grandparents about this.”

“
No kidding.”

“
Ryan, your grandmother needs you right now.”

“
Me? Why me?”

“
She’s lost a lot in the last month or so. She needs to feel connected, you know?” Ryan nodded. ”I want you to make sure you spend some time with her today, just you and her.”

“
After this, I’d go move in with her!”

* * *

As his mother began clearing dishes from the table, Ryan watched his grandmother until she made eye contact with him. “Can I take you for a drive?”

“
I thought you’d never ask.” She smiled and followed him outside. He made sure to hold the door for her, and to close the passenger door once she settled in the seat. He wiped his palms on his shorts before adjusting the rearview mirror, then he pulled away from the curb.

“
Sweetheart, relax. Driving instructors don’t drive this carefully.”

“
I don’t want my car taken away on the very first day.”

“
I don’t think you have to worry.”

He wound his way through residential neighborhoods, avoiding the busier streets.

“
Have you learned to parallel park yet?”

“
I’ve tried it a couple of times.”

“
Let’s head over to the library. The parking lot should be empty, and it’s a good place to practice. That’s where your dad learned.” When he turned into the lot, she pointed to the curb. “Let me out and I’ll be the corner of the parked car.”

He put the car in park, then twisted around to face her. “Can I ask you something first?”

“
Always.”

“
Why’d you do this?”

“
What?”

Ryan shook his head at her pretend innocence. “The car.”

She reached over and squeezed his hand. “Because I love you, because you’re very special, and I’m not sure you understand that.”

“
I know you love me.”

“
But not the rest of it.”

She had him, but without the standard “you shouldn’t feel like that” undertone. Maybe he could risk saying a little more. “Well, my mom and dad . . . They aren’t . . .” How could he get it across? “I just don’t feel like I fit in, you know.”

“
No, I don’t. Explain it to me.”

He blew out a long, slow breath and debated going with his first instinct, saying “forget it” and changing the subject. His dad said she needed to feel connected, though, and shutting down a conversation was probably not the way to do that.