Epilogue
Trevor
There’s a place I go to when I’m sad. Actually, it’s probably not accurate to call it a place since it’s a memory, and I don’t just go there, I close my eyes sink so far into it that I can feel the subtle warmth of the setting sun on my nose, the blades of grass shifting on my left cheek, her little hand holding mine as if she’ll never let go.
It was near the end of August. She, Brian and I had been inseparable for two months. Every night we parked our sleeping bags in front of the TV and watched horror movies we’d stolen from my oldest brother John’s secret stash in the closet. She was always in between me and Brian, holding both our hands, smiling and laughing at us equally.
And I was just starting to become aware that it wouldn’t last.
She and Brian were both one year older than me. Their back-to-school shopping list included a protractor. I really hated those fucking protractors, even more because I had no idea what they were for and even though Sasha and Brian didn’t either they pretended like they did. Protractors made you smarter. They could predict the weather. They let you communicate to other people who had protractors without talking. It was like they were members of a secret club I’d never be admitted to no matter how hard I tried because I was always one year below them.
That evening, out on the grass, Sasha didn’t have her protractor and Brian wasn’t there. He was setting the table for dinner, and while I should have been helping him there wasn’t anything that would take me away from her. My grip on her hand tightened as the sky turned pink and then started to go dark. She didn’t complain, she just squeezed right back.
Finally, she broke the silence. “Why are you looking at me?”
“I don’t know. I just like it,” I said. I didn’t know how to be tactful yet.
“Pretty soon it’s gonna be dark. You won’t be able to see the sky anymore.”
Something surged through me and suddenly I was squeezing her so hard that she winced. “I don’t care. Every time I see you, I think of the sky.”
She laughed. “What?”
“I look at your eyes, and it’s like looking at the sky,” I explained.
“But they’re not as big as the sky. They’re just the same color.”
“But it seems like they’re as big as the sky when you look at them,” I told her.
She gave me an odd smile, like she didn’t understand what I’d just said but she liked it, and squeezed my hand.
If I were older I might have kissed her, but at that age just holding her hand and looking into her eyes felt like everything to me. I couldn’t imagine wanting anything more.
I wasn’t perfect back then. I was often mean and selfish, and often laughed at mean and selfish things. But I understood that the simplest things in life were often the most precious, and even more than that, I was capable of loving someone without asking, or even wanting, anything in return.
I’ve done so many things I regret. It kills me that I can’t take them back. And every time I feel the full weight of every stupid, selfish, mean mistake I’ve ever made—when I think my situation is helpless and I should never be forgiven—I remember that no matter where I go or what I do, redemption is possible because that little boy who loved that little girl so selflessly was once a part of me.
***
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Meet Virginia
Virginia Locke writes about people at their best and at their worst, and the many facets of love and obsession. She currently resides with her grouchy cat in an aging brick apartment building next to her favorite taco restaurant. She swears this is just a delightful coincidence and not the reason why she moved there, but no one believes her.
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Sometimes the only way to face the darkness is to accustom yourself to the dark.
He's not the kind of guy I ever would have seen myself with before. Covered in tattoos and rarely seen with the same girl twice, he's the ultimate bad boy. He's also the younger brother of the man I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. But when the unthinkable happened, he was the only person I felt like I could trust.
Sometimes when everything shatters you don't want to pick up the pieces. You want them to scatter them further.
I've loved her since I was eight. She's the only girl I've ever wanted, and the only girl I could never have. I want to protect her. I want to save her. But she doesn't want those things from me. Instead, she wants me to do something that goes against everything I stand for, something that I know will destroy me.
And because it's her, I can't say no.
For eighteen years, Erik has burned for the one woman he is forbidden to touch.
When innocent Klara learns of his obsession with her, she offers herself willingly.
Erik tries to use this opportunity to scare her away, but neither of them can control their dark passions…or the horrifying cost of being discovered.
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***
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