Praetorian Series [3] A Hunter and His Legion (46 page)

“What?”  I whispered back.

Without elaborating, she
took my hands in her own and pulled me up.  I felt weak under her grip, but she steadied me with surprisingly strong hands.  I towered over her but not for an instant did I feel any power over her in that moment.  She looked up at me with wide eyes that seemed almost giddy, eyes that could have been hopeful about something for the first time in a long time.

“Something you’ve sought
since arriving here, Jacob,” she said, a sweet smile forming at her lips before she pulled me toward the tent’s exit.  “Answers.”

***

We emerged together from what I now realized had to have been Agrippina’s
praetorium
, hand in hand, to the sight of every non-legionnaire from my contingent waiting for us with the exception of Helena, Artie, and Wang.

My eyes narrowed in curiosity that it was those three in particular who weren’t present.  Helena alone I could understand, Helena and Artie I could understand, but I wasn’t sure why Wang was with them.  I would have expected
a third person with her to be either Santino or Cuyler, but both men stood a dozen meters away from me, waiting expectantly for my return.

At the sight of them all
, Agrippina let go of my hand and I found myself wandering toward where Santino and Vincent stood.  I stepped toward them as they stood with their arms crossed against their chests – at least, Vincent stood in the best approximation of the stance – identical stern expressions on their faces, although there was something off about Santino’s.

They watched me approach intently, which I did slowly and silently, downtrodden, while every
thing inside me screamed to ignore them and do what I knew I really wanted to do: get my answers.  But I fought away the feeling, ignoring it like I would a craving for something salty or sweet, knowing that eating it would taste great but wasn’t something my body really needed.  It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but I felt my resolve tightening with every step I took.

I stopped when I arrived at a
respectful distance and dropped my head.  I felt like I was approaching a disciplinary review board made up of very important alumni, but finally, I lifted my eyes and looked at Vincent.  We stood there like that for a very long time, before the most appropriate words that couldn’t possibly do justice to how I really felt flowed from my mouth without the need to think them first.

“I’m… sorry.”

My words were spoken softly, but not without conviction.  I felt the truth in them as easily as the words themselves had come to my lips, although I still did not think they were enough.  But it had not been a hollow statement, even if my mind could not conjure the appropriate memories for what exactly I was sorry for.  In fact, the last month of my life seemed like a darkened room in my head with nothing but a weak nightlight to see by.

Perhaps the memories would return later
.

Vincent uncrossed his arm and let
it rest at his side.  Santino did the same.  I caught him glancing at Vincent out of the corner of his eye, but I wasn’t sure why exactly.  The two of them stood there silently for a few moments before Vincent lifted his hand and placed it on my shoulder.

“It’s all right, Jacob
.”

I bit back a
n overwhelming surge of emotion.

R
ecent months had left me forgetting how much I looked up to this man, and how much I needed him for guidance and understanding.  I’d always seen him as something of a father figure, and having his forgiveness now made it all seem right.  Happiness swelled within me, but the tender moment was interrupted when Santino placed his own hand on my other shoulder.  I looked at him, slightly upset that he’d interrupted my moment with Vincent, but he looked back with a seriousness I rarely saw in the man.

A
few seconds passed, but then he said, “It’s all right, Jacob.”

Vincent looked at Santino
and Santino looked at Vincent.

Vincent lowered his hand and Santino did the same.

“We don’t have time…” Vincent said.

“We don’t have
time…” Santino said.

I was smiling by now, grinning in fact, something I hadn’t done in a
very long time, and it felt
good
.  Vincent looked at Santino angrily and Santino looked back at Vincent just the same, but when Vincent threw his head in the air and rolled his eyes before storming off, Santino remained where he was.  Vincent walked away, but not without another look in my direction that seemed more relieved than anything.

Santino
looked at me out of the corner of his eye and raised an eyebrow.

“Find your
sanity yet, or am I going to have to knock you out?”  He asked.

My smiled returned again.  I
… think I did actually.  Thanks…”

H
e lashed out and pulled me into a bear hug before I could finish, lifting me off the ground.  “God, it’s good to have you back, buddy!”

“
I…”

“As for
you
,” he said, releasing me quickly and turning to Agrippina, “if you’re not busy, I’m pretty sure you’re about due for another ride on the Santino-train later tonight.  Just stop…”

“Go away, simpleton,” Agrippina said without emotion.

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” he said in mid retreat, a movement that looked a lot like a cartoon character being yanked off stage by a giant hook.  Some of my friends laughed at his display as the lot of them finally wandered away, and their spirits seemed higher than they’d been since Alexandria.

When they were
gone I turned back to Agrippina.  “He’s not really a bad guy, you know.”

“In comparison to
who?”  She asked.  “You?”

“Good point…
”

She shook her head.  “Let us go, Jacob.  You must be impatient for your answers.”

I nodded, and went with my first instinct, which was to follow her, but I only made it three steps before I stopped and held my ground.

“Come, Jacob,” Agrippina said
, noticing my hesitation.

I wanted to but I couldn’t move my feet.  It was like my brain
had lost its connection to them, and then those feelings of being hung over from earlier returned.  I felt nauseous and sick, and the pounding in my head returned with a vengeance.  I’d never had to cold turkey myself off of drugs before, but I had to imagine this to be about how it felt.

“Wait,” I said through gritted teeth
, leaning down to put my hands on my knees and support myself.

“
Do you feel unwell?”  Agrippina asked, placing a hand on my back consolingly.

“
Yes…
urgh
, I’m not… no, definitely not well.”

Within me,
a struggle was taking place.  It was an altercation I’d grown used to in recent time, as my mind, body, and soul fought over what one or the other intended to do.  I couldn’t explain it, but there could only be one thing responsible for what I was feeling.

“Where…” I clenched my mouth
shut again, but forced it open, “…where… where is the orb?”

Agrippina
nodded at me slowly.  “It is quite safe, Jacob.  And well away from you.  We found it when searching your belongings, but your friends indicated it would be best if I removed it from your presence.  Your centurion, Minicius I believe, has it in his possession.”

Everything was beginning to make sense.

I
was
suffering from withdrawal…

I threw up
with that revelation, expelling what miniscule amount of food I had left in my belly.  It seemed my mind had thought my body could use a little flushing out in that moment, and I guess my soul had finally agreed, allowing them to play nice, apparently needing a clean slate from which to heal my badgered existence.

It was the only time vomiting had ever felt good
.

“
Do you need medical attention?”  Agrippina asked.

I stood up
wobbly, and threw her hand off my back, clarity returning and the pain ebbing.  I waited while my head stopped swimming and took a moment to collect my bearings, understanding now that we were standing on the
via principalis
heading east, and I was wearing my night ops combat fatigues, boots, but I was completely naked from the waist up.  I hadn’t even noticed until just now, which in turn invited the cold to settle in.

“Where are my clothes
?”  I asked, rubbing my arms to stave off the chill.

Agrippina
ran her eyes over my body unabashedly.  “I removed them personally in preparation for our talk.”

I rolled my eyes.  “Enjoy that, did you?”

She shrugged.  “Of course.”

“It’s freezing out here,” I said, rubbing my arms more intensely now
. “How do you expect me to go anywhere without a shirt?”

Agrippina pouted with impatience, perhaps eager as well for me to have my answers – whatever that meant – but she didn’t seem upset.  She looked up to the sky and at the stars before returning her attention to me.

“Perhaps it would be prudent to wait until morning,” she said.  “Our destination is not far but I suppose it would be best to arrive during the day.”

“
Best?”

She glanced away
and then back at me.  “It will be easier to understand if you to see for yourself.”

“
Yeah, I don’t think so.  I’ve seen too many movies to just blindly accept
that
as an answer,” I said, interspersing the English term before I paused for a second, thinking.  “In fact, I’ve seen too many movies to know better than to even fucking trust you at all, but yet,” I opened my arms, “here I am, I guess.”

She looked at me
curiously.  “Tell me about these
moo-wees
, Jacob.  What are they?”

“Nope, nu-uh,” I said, shaking my head.  “Not gonna happen.  I’m not about to start buddying up to you just because you didn’t ki
ll me.  Seen too many movies. 
Way
too many.”

H
er nose scrunched cutely in annoyance.  “Is it rude where you come from to make references in front of others who clearly have no understanding of what it is you’re referencing?”

I leaned in close.  “Very
rude.”

“Fine,” she said, “but you would do well to listen to what I’m about to say, even if you refuse to trust me.”

I hugged my arms around my chest and dug my hands into my armpits.  “Quickly. 
Please
.”

“I
have not yet decided whether or not I will kill you at a later date,” she said bluntly, before turning to return to her
praetorium
. 

I gulped
nervously, knowing she probably hadn’t.

“Wait,” I called out, and Agrippina stopped at
the threshold of her tent.  Unhappily, I tilted my head from side to side, unconvinced if my next words were a good idea or not, but finally decided it might be time for a little trust. “If I like your ‘answers’ tomorrow, I’ll tell you what a movie is.  Trust me.  I can probably even still recite a few of them from memory for you.”

Agrippina held my gaze, her
lips pouting ever so slightly, but instead of answering, she reached up and unclipped a clasp from the furs wrapped around her shoulders.  The heavy garments fell to the ground revealing little more than a sheer, see-through, Roman-style “nighty” that barely extended past her waist.

She jutted her chin past her
praetorium
and to the south.  “Your Amazon was taken to that side of the camp.  Or… you can stay with
me
tonight.  I will keep you quite warm in all manner of ways, I assure you…”

I gulped
again as she entered her tent, leaving me alone with nothing but the memory of her standing there in her scandalously revealing skivvies.  Two Praetorians were nearby as well, ones who also must have seen Agrippina in her exposed outfit, but neither batted an eyelash at it.

And for more than a few moments, I considered her offer, the ache in my groin
from earlier not making my decision any easier, but with a confident effort, I turned in the direction Agrippina had indicated and started walking.

I passed by a lot of individuals as I headed to the southern end of the camp, most of them Praet
orians or camp administrators, and none of them outwardly friendly.  When I stopped and asked for directions, I was met with either silence or spit on my boots.  Both scenarios left me feeling unwanted, not to mention queasy in my already upset stomach, but one man, who I assumed was a Praetorian, had been vaguely helpful.  After asking for directions he gave me the
digitus impudicus
, the always helpful middle finger, but at least he pointed it in a very general direction that seemed the right way to go.  I waved my thanks only to have him raise his other finger to join the first, but I passed by him and walked toward the far end of the camp as my skin started turning a light shade of blue from the cold.