Possessions (32 page)
Authors: Nancy Holder
I was suffocating.
Then I bolted straight up with a gasp . . . and my terrified face was reflected back to me, in the oval oak mirror above my three-drawer dresser.
Only it wasn’t my face.
It was the face from the window, staring at me. The face with the black eye sockets.
A terrible coldness welled inside me.
Inside me.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head. The head.
The head.
The head in the mirror did not shake. It stared straight at me.
“No way,” I said more forcefully.
Help me
.
.
My heart pumped. I licked my lips.
The image in my mirror did not.
She was the one they had been looking for. And she was still hiding, inside me.
Number Seven.
Possession: me.
I was possessed
.
I was possessed
.
“You can go now,” I whispered. “You’re free.”
She stared at me for a long time; then slowly, very slowly, she shook her head. And deep inside myself, wrapped in the freezing endlessness of life inside the grave, I knew.
“No,” I pleaded.
It wasn’t over. Celia. She wasn’t free. The spirit wasn’t free.
And neither was I.
A silvery tear welled at the bottom of her empty eye socket and slid down her cheek. Then it clung to the oak frame of the mirror, dangling like a hanged man, and plopped onto my dresser like a drop of water into a lake.
And I thought of more lines by Robert Frost, Memmy’s favorite poet and mine:
The wood are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I
hadn’t promised anyone anything.
hadn’t promised anyone anything.
“But I have,” the reflection said, her voice echoing. Then she said, “
Troy
.”
Troy
.”
And I knew she was bargaining with me, and I knew why.
I had to go back.
“Yes, there’s something the dead are keeping back.”
—
Robert Frost
, The Witch of Coös
Robert Frost
, The Witch of Coös
Acknowledgments:
With deepest thanks to the fantastic Razorbill team, Ben Schrank and my wonderful editor, Lexa Hillyer. Thank you to my agent, Howard Morhaim, and his assistant, Katie Menick. Thank you to my friends and family: Lucy Walker, Anny Caya, Leslie Ackel, Amy Schricker, Pam Escobedo, Karen Hackett, Debbie Viguié, and my super-nice daughter, Belle.
Can’t get enough books by Nancy Holder? Check out this chapter from:
PRETTY LITTLE DEVILS
prologue
Sylvia:
“Damn it, Carolyn, I can still hardly hear you. Thank God you only have one more month on that loser phone. It doesn’t get any reception.”
“Damn it, Carolyn, I can still hardly hear you. Thank God you only have one more month on that loser phone. It doesn’t get any reception.”
Carolyn:
“I know. I cannot wait. Can you hear me now?”
“I know. I cannot wait. Can you hear me now?”
Sylvia:
“That might be funny if I actually
could
hear you.”
“That might be funny if I actually
could
hear you.”
Megan:
“Same here. I thought three-way calling was supposed to make this
easier
.”
“Same here. I thought three-way calling was supposed to make this
easier
.”
Sylvia:
“Moving on. Listen, Breona threw down again. At the mall. It was another Josh incident. She said he wants to go back to her, but he’s staying with me because I ‘put out.’ ‘Put out.’ Who even talks like that?”
“Moving on. Listen, Breona threw down again. At the mall. It was another Josh incident. She said he wants to go back to her, but he’s staying with me because I ‘put out.’ ‘Put out.’ Who even talks like that?”
Megan:
“You have got to be kidding me! What a slut! She is dead!”
“You have got to be kidding me! What a slut! She is dead!”
Carolyn:
“So dead. But you know she was lying, Sylvia. Josh would never say that.”
“So dead. But you know she was lying, Sylvia. Josh would never say that.”
Megan:
“Totally lying.”
“Totally lying.”
Sylvia:
“It was like she was begging me to lose it right there in the mall, you know? It was in the food court. I was standing in line at Boudin’s and she just came over. She was smart to pick a public place. You guys know what I can do when I’m pushed.”
“It was like she was begging me to lose it right there in the mall, you know? It was in the food court. I was standing in line at Boudin’s and she just came over. She was smart to pick a public place. You guys know what I can do when I’m pushed.”
Carolyn:
“She’s so déclassé.”
“She’s so déclassé.”
Megan:
“
Vraiment
. Did you talk to Josh yet?”
“
Vraiment
. Did you talk to Josh yet?”
Sylvia:
“
Excuse
me? There is nothing to talk to him about. She’s lying!”
“
Excuse
me? There is nothing to talk to him about. She’s lying!”
Carolyn:
“God, Megan, you don’t believe her, do you? You don’t think Josh would actually say something like that about Sylvia?”
“God, Megan, you don’t believe her, do you? You don’t think Josh would actually say something like that about Sylvia?”
Megan:
“It’s just . . . I don’t know, I wonder how she can lie like that in front of everybody. Josh should know she’s lying about him to people.”
“It’s just . . . I don’t know, I wonder how she can lie like that in front of everybody. Josh should know she’s lying about him to people.”
Sylvia:
“You have a point. Josh should know his reputation is in danger.”
“You have a point. Josh should know his reputation is in danger.”
Carolyn:
“Except . . . it’ll look like you don’t trust him if you talk to him about it.”
“Except . . . it’ll look like you don’t trust him if you talk to him about it.”
Megan:
“Then one of
us
should talk to him.”
“Then one of
us
should talk to him.”
Sylvia:
“Maybe Ellen should. She’s so
nice
. By the way, Ellen is our second agenda item, after we take care of this.”
“Maybe Ellen should. She’s so
nice
. By the way, Ellen is our second agenda item, after we take care of this.”
Megan:
“Yeah, because she was wearing that retarded outfit again—”
“Yeah, because she was wearing that retarded outfit again—”
Sylvia:
“Megan,
second
agenda item.”
“Megan,
second
agenda item.”
Carolyn:
“Right. Back to the first. Breona is such a ho.”
“Right. Back to the first. Breona is such a ho.”
Sylvia:
“Well, it’s just stupid anyway. The way she deals with guys is dysfunctional. If I ever thought Josh really was staying with me because I—because we—”
“Well, it’s just stupid anyway. The way she deals with guys is dysfunctional. If I ever thought Josh really was staying with me because I—because we—”
Megan:
“She’s so wrong. How can she think she can get away with this?”
“She’s so wrong. How can she think she can get away with this?”
Sylvia:
“That’s my point. She can’t. By the way, she talked about the
incident
too. You know which one I mean.”
“That’s my point. She can’t. By the way, she talked about the
incident
too. You know which one I mean.”
Megan:
“Oh my God.”
“Oh my God.”
Carolyn:
“That skank. She really is looking for trouble.”
“That skank. She really is looking for trouble.”
Sylvia:
“Absolutely. But, as you say, no one will believe her. No one believed all the other gossip about your little entanglement. It died down over the summer. With the pictures.”
“Absolutely. But, as you say, no one will believe her. No one believed all the other gossip about your little entanglement. It died down over the summer. With the pictures.”
Megan:
“Was Stephan there when she mentioned it?”
“Was Stephan there when she mentioned it?”
Carolyn:
“Megan, get over Stephan. He just brings it up to get a reaction out of you.”
“Megan, get over Stephan. He just brings it up to get a reaction out of you.”
Megan:
“Whatever. We need to discuss how we’re getting back at Breona.”
“Whatever. We need to discuss how we’re getting back at Breona.”
Sylvia:
“Give me your best ideas tomorrow morning. Before school. We are seriously weakened as a group if Breona thinks she can just say whatever she wants without any repercussions. Now, on to the second item. Let’s talk about Ellen.”
“Give me your best ideas tomorrow morning. Before school. We are seriously weakened as a group if Breona thinks she can just say whatever she wants without any repercussions. Now, on to the second item. Let’s talk about Ellen.”
Megan:
“She’s been a total humiliation lately. That dress—”
“She’s been a total humiliation lately. That dress—”
Sylvia:
“One bad outfit I could forgive. But that hair . . . This is the beginning of junior year, ladies. We have to take ourselves seriously, or no one else will. When Ellen started falling all over that guy at the movies—”
“One bad outfit I could forgive. But that hair . . . This is the beginning of junior year, ladies. We have to take ourselves seriously, or no one else will. When Ellen started falling all over that guy at the movies—”
Carolyn:
“She does act a little dorky on occasion. . . .”
“She does act a little dorky on occasion. . . .”
Megan:
“A
little
? His friends were
laughing
at us. She didn’t even notice.”
“A
little
? His friends were
laughing
at us. She didn’t even notice.”
Sylvia:
“Ladies, ladies. I don’t want to get rid of Ellen. She’s been really loyal, and she’s a good friend to all of us. But it is a bit of a problem.”
“Ladies, ladies. I don’t want to get rid of Ellen. She’s been really loyal, and she’s a good friend to all of us. But it is a bit of a problem.”
Megan:
“It’s like you always say, Sylvia. We are known by the company we keep. If we hang with losers,
we’re
losers. We’ve worked hard to get where we are. We all take pains to look good, to be popular. What we do reflects on all of us.”
“It’s like you always say, Sylvia. We are known by the company we keep. If we hang with losers,
we’re
losers. We’ve worked hard to get where we are. We all take pains to look good, to be popular. What we do reflects on all of us.”
Sylvia:
“No. No dumping Ellen. It is not an option. We don’t want people saying we turn our backs on our friends. It would be terrible publicity. Breona would jump all over it. And she would probably invite Ellen into her group just to get to all our secrets.”
“No. No dumping Ellen. It is not an option. We don’t want people saying we turn our backs on our friends. It would be terrible publicity. Breona would jump all over it. And she would probably invite Ellen into her group just to get to all our secrets.”
Carolyn:
“Ellen would rather die than betray us.”
“Ellen would rather die than betray us.”
Sylvia:
“Well, it’s a situation, definitely. She’s losing ground. Maybe she’s working too hard, babysitting
too
much. We could cut back on her jobs. . . .”
“Well, it’s a situation, definitely. She’s losing ground. Maybe she’s working too hard, babysitting
too
much. We could cut back on her jobs. . . .”
Megan:
“Then
we
would have to do them. I’ve already got tons of homework, and Mrs. Sprague said I have to get some more extracurriculars if I’m going to get into a decent college.”
“Then
we
would have to do them. I’ve already got tons of homework, and Mrs. Sprague said I have to get some more extracurriculars if I’m going to get into a decent college.”
Carolyn:
“Like your brother?”
“Like your brother?”
Megan:
“Back off, Carolyn!”
“Back off, Carolyn!”
Carolyn:
“God, Megan, what’s your problem? Your brother goes to a serious school. Does that, like, freak you out or something?”
“God, Megan, what’s your problem? Your brother goes to a serious school. Does that, like, freak you out or something?”
Sylvia:
“Megan? Are you keeping something from us? Because friends share.”
“Megan? Are you keeping something from us? Because friends share.”
Megan:
“No. It’s nothing. I didn’t understand what she meant.”
“No. It’s nothing. I didn’t understand what she meant.”
Carolyn:
“So you thought the worst?”
“So you thought the worst?”
Sylvia:
“Both of you chill out right now. My God. Do you even remember what we were talking about? I say it’s time to ask a new girl in. That way we can dilute the Ellen factor.”
“Both of you chill out right now. My God. Do you even remember what we were talking about? I say it’s time to ask a new girl in. That way we can dilute the Ellen factor.”
Megan:
“Are you serious? It’s always been the four of us.”
“Are you serious? It’s always been the four of us.”
Sylvia:
“Are you questioning me, Megan? Who has kept this group going all this time? Me. And what I say goes. Oh, look, Ellen’s logged on. Let’s go to the chat room,
mes petites
. Now remember, be kind. Ellen is still one of us.”
“Are you questioning me, Megan? Who has kept this group going all this time? Me. And what I say goes. Oh, look, Ellen’s logged on. Let’s go to the chat room,
mes petites
. Now remember, be kind. Ellen is still one of us.”
you have entered
The Pretty Little Devils chat room
this is a private chat room for invited
members only
The Pretty Little Devils chat room
this is a private chat room for invited
members only
Members in chat room:
PLDSLY
PLDEL
PLDCARO
PLDMEG
PLDSLY:
Bonjour
, El! Home early?
Bonjour
, El! Home early?
PLDEL:
Still at Hernandez. Using their laptop.
Still at Hernandez. Using their laptop.
PLDCARO:
Bonjour, toutes!
Bonjour, toutes!
PLDMEG:
Bonjour!
Bonjour!
PLDSLY:
Clever U, El. Don’t forget 2 charge 4 lateness.
Clever U, El. Don’t forget 2 charge 4 lateness.
PLDEL:
Suki warned me ahead of time might B late.
Suki warned me ahead of time might B late.
PLDSLY:
Late = late. Suki agreed 2 7 PM. On schedule.
Late = late. Suki agreed 2 7 PM. On schedule.
PLDEL:
OK.
OK.
PLDSLY:
We let 1 slide, they all do it.
We let 1 slide, they all do it.
PLDEL:
Sorry. :(
Sorry. :(
PLDSLY:
N/p. Listen, El, Breona attacked me at the mall. Re Josh. It was bad.
N/p. Listen, El, Breona attacked me at the mall. Re Josh. It was bad.
PLDEL:
OMG, that’s terrible! She hurt U? :(
OMG, that’s terrible! She hurt U? :(
PLDSLY:
Not physically. Not a scratch. Though she did have her claws out. LOL.
Not physically. Not a scratch. Though she did have her claws out. LOL.
PLDEL:
What’d she say?
What’d she say?
PLDSLY:
SOS. Josh couldn’t wait 4 me 2 go 2 France, only came back 2 me cuz I give him benefits.
SOS. Josh couldn’t wait 4 me 2 go 2 France, only came back 2 me cuz I give him benefits.
PLDEL:
OMG. UR kidding! :(
OMG. UR kidding! :(
PLDSLY:
No worries. I ripped her a new 1. She wuz crying by time I left. :)
No worries. I ripped her a new 1. She wuz crying by time I left. :)
PLDEL:
Go, Sylvia!
Go, Sylvia!
PLDSLY:
Of the past. We move on.
Of the past. We move on.
PLDCARO:
But Josh needs 2 know she’s lyin’ about him. Some1 needs 2 tell him. Not Syl, cuz it’ll look like she doesn’t trust him.
But Josh needs 2 know she’s lyin’ about him. Some1 needs 2 tell him. Not Syl, cuz it’ll look like she doesn’t trust him.
PLDEL:
Don’t worry, Syl, I can do in Art2.
Don’t worry, Syl, I can do in Art2.
PLDSLY:
GR8. I’ll call U later, fill U in.
GR8. I’ll call U later, fill U in.
PLDEL:
KK, but before 9 OK, cuz my dad.
KK, but before 9 OK, cuz my dad.
PLDCARO:
Just put cell phone on vibrate. More fun anyway, LOL.
Just put cell phone on vibrate. More fun anyway, LOL.
PLDEL:
LOL, but big trouble if he finds out.
LOL, but big trouble if he finds out.
PLDMEG:
El, UR a wimp.
El, UR a wimp.
PLDSLY:
Meggers, B nice. :(
Meggers, B nice. :(
PLDMEG:
Sorry, S.
Sorry, S.
PLDSLY:
N/p. El, I’ll call B4 9. So, new school year goin’ on. PLDs gotta look good. Love streaks, Meggies. New salon?
N/p. El, I’ll call B4 9. So, new school year goin’ on. PLDs gotta look good. Love streaks, Meggies. New salon?
PLDMEG:
Still at Tuberose.
Still at Tuberose.
PLDCARO:
In the mall, right?
In the mall, right?
PLDMEG:
Please. Who goes to mall 4 hair? White trash!
PLDSLY:
El, UR place is in mall?
Please. Who goes to mall 4 hair? White trash!
PLDSLY:
El, UR place is in mall?
PLDEL:
Yes.
Yes.
PLDMEG:
Oops. Sorry, El! My bad X2.
Oops. Sorry, El! My bad X2.
PLDSLY:
El, mebbe try Meg’s? Also, gel . . . over.
El, mebbe try Meg’s? Also, gel . . . over.
PLDEL:
Hair not good?
Hair not good?
PLDSLY:
U’ve done better. Every1 remember, we R in spotlight. That dress Friday . . .
mais non, cherie.
U’ve done better. Every1 remember, we R in spotlight. That dress Friday . . .
mais non, cherie.
PLDEL:
?
?
PLDMEG:
No offense, it makes U look fat.
No offense, it makes U look fat.
PLDEL:
OMG!
OMG!
PLDSLY:
We can’t give Breona any reason 2 attack us. Solid fashions, solid rep. We R Pretty Little Devils!
We can’t give Breona any reason 2 attack us. Solid fashions, solid rep. We R Pretty Little Devils!
PLDMEG:
Mais oui!
Mais oui!
PLDCARO:
Mais oui!
Mais oui!
PLDEL:
OMG, Suki home. Gotta go.
OMG, Suki home. Gotta go.
PLDSLY:
Au revoir!
Au revoir!
(PLDEL has left the chat room)
PLDMEG:
So, do you think she got it?
So, do you think she got it?
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