"I'm too
old for dolls," Cara said. "Will you teach me stuff? Numbers and
letters and other things?"
Celia clapped
her hands in delight. "Of course! Oh, it'll be so much fun for all of
us." My sister might not enjoy the more complicated matters learned from
museums and thick books, but teaching a young charge the necessities required
to keep house was precisely the sort of thing she enjoyed. If she had her way,
little Cara would be turned into a suitable marriage prospect by the time she
was my age. Celia might even succeed with her.
Before Cara
could say anything more on the subject, Celia rang for Lucy. "Your room is
on the next level up, same as ours," she said as we waited. "Now. The
first thing you'll need is a bath. A warm one. Lucy will help you." She
tapped her finger on her lips then took Cara by the shoulders and gently spun
her round. "You'll need clothes. There might be an old dress of Emily's
that'll fit. I'll look in the attic while you bathe."
Lucy arrived and
all three bustled out of the drawing room and up the stairs. I returned to the
sofa and tried to occupy myself with embroidery. Unfortunately, while my hands
were busy, my mind wandered. I kept worrying about Jacob finding Mortlock,
wondering if we could stop him before the horrid spirit did something awful to
the Beauforts. I did come to the conclusion that the hooded figure wouldn't
direct Mortlock to kill Jacob's family. If he'd wanted to do that, he could
have tried himself. More likely he would return to the original plan of ruining
them by having Mortlock possess Adelaide again and force her to do something
terrible. Some things were worse than death.
That didn't mean
Mortlock wouldn't take it upon himself to murder them anyway. The spirit was
extremely unpredictable and sinister.
I was saved from
my dark thoughts by a knock at the door. It was Theo, smiling. I smiled back,
glad to see him.
"I'm so
relieved to see you're all right," he said.
"How kind
of you to say so."
He removed his
hat and cleared his throat. "Ever since you left my aunt's house, I've
been concerned. I know it's growing late in the day, but I had to check on you."
"Thank you.
As you can see, I'm well."
His gaze raked
over me. Lingering. Burning. I felt hot, inside and out.
"So I
see," he said, thickly.
I swallowed. "Please
come in and have tea."
I ushered him
into the drawing room. He paused at the door and took in the surroundings. I
was suddenly conscious of the faded sofa, the thinning carpet and smallness of
the room. It was a new sensation for me. Unlike Celia, I'd never felt ashamed
of our modest house before. Perhaps my embarrassment now was because Jacob had
said Theo needed to marry a rich heiress and I felt Theo was judging me on what
I had to offer.
But that was
silly—I didn't want to wed Theo. So why was I suddenly so awkward?
"Is this a
bad time?" he asked, settling on the chair Cara had vacated near the fire.
"Not at
all. Lucy and Celia are occupied with Cara. She's going to live with us."
"Cara?"
I poured tea and
recounted recent events up to and including Jacob's current adventure in the
sewers.
"So I am
just waiting here," I said with a sigh.
He grinned. "How
frustrating for a person of activity such as yourself."
A person of
activity. I liked it. "So what do you think of me being the niece of a ten
year-old girl?"
"I think
she is very lucky to have you and your sister as family."
I offered him
the plate of gingerbread and he took a piece. "She might not think so
after Celia's attempts to turn her into a fine young lady."
He laughed again
and bit into the gingerbread. Neither of us spoke as he chewed and the silence
didn't sit naturally. I felt like I needed to fill it, so I asked him a
question I wanted to take back.
"What do
you think of our little house? Humble, is it not?" I groaned on the
inside. Why did I have to draw attention to our meager residence?
Perhaps because his
reaction to it had been on my mind ever since he'd arrived. And I wanted to
know if there was any truth to what Jacob had said.
"Very
comfortable." He gave me a smile. It made his eyes sparkle.
I smiled back,
relieved. If he thought our house and belongings shabby, he made no sign of it
and no attempt to get away. Surely if Jacob was right and Theo didn't consider
me a serious prospect now that he'd seen my house, he would have politely made
excuses and left already.
But he hadn't. He
was sipping tea, eating gingerbread, and making me feel beautiful and special
by stealing glances my way.
The fact I was
happy about it was unnerving. I
should
be making myself as undesirable
to him as possible if I truly didn't want to contemplate marriage.
So why wasn't I?
"Your aunt
told my sister you are going to study law," I said. "When do you
start?"
"Next week."
He picked up the teacup. It looked much too fragile for his big hands. "I'm
looking forward to it." He sipped.
"And what
area of law are you hoping to go into when you're finished?"
We chatted for a
while longer. It was polite and rather bland, but just the sort of conversation
a young gentleman and lady were expected to have together. Celia joined us and
pretended not to listen, but her small smile of triumph told me all I needed to
know. Not only was she listening, she was most likely planning our wedding.
Just as Theo got
up to leave, Jacob appeared. Predictably, he scowled. "What's
he
doing here?"
I should have
told Theo and Celia that Jacob was there, but I didn't. I was in no mood for a
conversation between them all and I didn't particularly want Theo to linger now
that Jacob had shown up. Anything could happen.
I said goodbye
to Theo at the door then turned to Jacob standing behind me in the entrance
hall. He spoke first. "I hope your sister has been with you the entire
time as chaperone."
"Of
course," I lied. "Not that it's any business of yours. You've made
your feelings quite clear. Well, not clear exactly but..." I wanted him to
tell me one way or another how he felt to lay my concerns to rest, but he did
nothing of the sort.
"Emily,"
he said.
I waited. He
obviously had something he needed to say and I wasn't going to make it easy for
him. He paced across the hall, one side to the other in two big strides, and
back again.
I gave up. I
wasn't very good at feigning disinterest. "At least change course," I
said. "You'll wear the carpet thin if you don't."
From the look he
gave me, I didn't think my attempt at humor was appreciated. "You won't
like what I have to say."
"That hasn't
stopped you before."
"I've been
asking around in the Waiting Area if anyone knew Theo."
"You did
what
?"
"Nobody
did," he said.
I stalked off to
the drawing room but remembered Celia was in there so I turned back to Jacob
and kept my voice low. "I can't believe you would do that!
Why
would you do that?"
Hands on hips,
feet slightly apart and defiance in his glare, he said, "Because I need to
know what he's really like. I need to know if he's going to be good for
you."
I choked on all
the words jostling to spill out of my mouth. In the end I said nothing, just
shook my head over and over at him.
Without changing
his stance, he shrugged one shoulder. "Any spirit in my position would do
the same."
"No, Jacob,
they wouldn't. I'm just glad you didn't learn anything."
"Not there
I didn't."
"Pardon?"
"I had to
listen in to his conversation with his cousin to find out what I wanted to
know."
My eyes widened
so far my eyeballs hurt. "Oh, Jacob, that's not very nice."
The only
movement he made was a slight flexing of the muscles in his arms now crossed
over his chest. "The normal rules of humanity don't apply to me anymore,
Em."
"That's
wrong, and you know it." I was so angry with him, my voice shook. It was
difficult to keep it controlled, soft, so that Celia wouldn't hear and
interrupt us. "Don't pretend that death changes the rules. It's one thing
to use your, your...ghostliness to find Mortlock or fight demons, but it's
quite another to sneak up on perfectly innocent people and listen in to their
private conversations."
His lips
flattened. "Don't you want to hear what I discovered?"
"No!"
"I learned
that Theo seduced a girl last summer."
"I said I
don't want to know." I should have walked away but he would have followed
me so I stayed. And heard.
"Everybody assumed
they would wed. Then a wealthy young lady came to the village to visit a
distant relation. Theo soon forgot his dalliance with the first girl and moved
onto the lady. It broke the girl's heart apparently."
My breaths were
loud in my ears, my pulse raced. I shouldn't be listening. The conversation had
been a private one.
"By the end
of summer," he went on, "it appeared Theo would wed the wealthy
heiress instead. It would have settled all his family's problems. His father is
in debt and can no longer support his grown son. Theo needs to find work, or
marry well. But when summer ended, so did his chance of marrying the heiress. She
left and he never heard from her again."
I was riveted to
his story. It's a terrible thing to admit after the way I'd admonished him for
his actions, and I was ashamed of myself. But not so ashamed that I walked
away.
"You said
you overheard this conversation between Theo and Wallace," I said
carefully. "Were they telling it as if it were a joke? As if they cared
nothing for the poor girl Theo ruined?"
Jacob sat on the
bottom step of the staircase and indicated I should sit with him so I did. We
kept some distance between us, but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. I was
very aware of him, of every subtle movement, especially his lack of breathing. "It
wasn't a joke to either of them," he said. "Wallace didn't seem to
know the entire story so Theo relayed it. He sounded genuinely sorry for his
actions toward the girl. He seemed to have liked her but admitted he couldn't
afford to marry her."
"He hadn't
liked her enough," I said. "Hadn't loved her."
"It would
seem so."
I wasn't looking
at him, but I could feel him watching me. I kept my gaze on the carpet. "How
do you know he didn't love the heiress?"
He stretched out
his long legs, crossing them at the ankles. "Although he didn't speak
unkindly about her, there wasn't any sense of loss or sadness either. I think there
was more hurt pride than genuine sorrow."
I stretched my
arms around my drawn-up knees. "So what are you saying, Jacob? Why are you
telling me this?"
"As a
warning. He seduced a girl and abandoned her when a better prospect came
along."
"You don't
know that for certain."
"I heard it
from his lips!"
"But you
didn't hear what his heart said. He might have loved the heiress more."
"Then why
is he pursuing you? A few months is not long enough to get over a broken heart.
If what you say is true, then he's fickle. He falls in and out of love when the
wind changes direction."
"
You
are calling
him
fickle?" It was so ridiculous it was laughable. But
I wasn't laughing. I was falling apart on the inside. "Last week you told
me you loved me. This week you said you were mistaken."
"Emily,
don't. Everything is different when you're dead. Everything."
The argument
wasn't one I could ever win, not having experienced death first hand. "You
cannot blacken his name forever because of one mistake, Jacob. He might be
terribly remorseful and have learned his lesson."
He stood and held
up his hands. "I just wanted to warn you. You need to be aware—"
"No, Jacob!"
I sprang to my feet. "I do
not
need to be aware of one single
incident. What happened last summer in a distant village is nothing to do with
me, here and now."
"Don't get
mad, Emily, I simply thought you should know what he's like—"
"I
do
know what he's like! He's kind to me, polite and thoughtful. He came to ask if
I was all right. He's worried about my safety."
"And that
makes him special?" he growled in a voice so low it rumbled through the
air and vibrated across my skin. "I am not the enemy, Emily. I don't want
to see him take advantage of you. I don't want the same thing that happened to
that girl to happen to you."
"I'm not
her, Jacob. I'm not penniless."