Possessed by Desire (11 page)

She stared into his eyes in the silence that followed. And as it had when she’d seen his anger, something softened inside her. Shifted toward him. Tugged her forward. “But maybe one can’t appreciate that peace unless they’ve truly lived. As awful as you make life sound, at least you’ve experienced it. And you’ve felt. Anger, sadness, hope, despair…love. Those are things I’ve never truly known.”

“Yes, but feelings can be a weakness. Zoraida thrives on them. And they make decisions…faulty. While you seek out emotions, I’ve learned to lock them away. At least until recently.”

The faraway look in his eyes told her he was thinking of his brothers and everything he’d done before and after his imprisonment. What was it like to feel such emotional extremes? To love and hate with such passion? What few emotions she’d experienced the last few months had been minor compared to what he was so obviously feeling.

She scooted to the edge of the bed. Dropped her legs over the side. “You’re not with her now, Ashur. You’re here.”

His gaze slid back to hers. Held. Darkened with a heat that rolled through her belly and brought every nerve ending in her body to life. “So are you.”

Her pulse pounded. The air changed. Crackled with both awareness and indecision. Seemed to come to life itself.

Her gaze slid from his eyes to his full, masculine lips, and a flutter ignited deep in her belly. Lips that had kissed her on that island. Lips she’d wanted to kiss her only hours ago in the woods. Lips she needed to taste now.

“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?” she asked. “Not all that different really. We both just want to be free.”

“And yet neither of us knows if that freedom will save or condemn us.”

Her gaze drifted back to his eyes. And the same unease she’d felt when Tariq had mentioned that Ashur was bound to the opal and not her, slid down her spine. One that was quickly drowned out by the fire slowly building in her veins. A fire she had the oddest sensation only he could extinguish.

“The question is,
maya
, just how far are you willing to go to find the answer?”

* * *

Ashur knew he was playing a dangerous game. It was after midnight, his brothers and their mates were somewhere in this house waiting to speak with him, and instead of figuring out what to do next, he’d spent the last hour watching Claire sleep, wishing she were anything but celestial. Wishing he could make sense of the images and words and memories swirling in his head.

He didn’t know what to believe. Didn’t know what was real or a lie. But overriding everything was the desire to touch and be touched. To forget who and what he was, what was expected of him, and what would happen when this night was over.

“
Neither of us knows if that freedom will save or condemn us
…”

His own words echoed back to him, sent his pulse skipping. In the dim light, Claire licked her lips, and her gaze slid from his eyes to his mouth. And every second that passed with her sitting so close, with her gardenia scent circling around him and the gentle rise and fall of her breasts drawing his attention to the thin cotton T-shirt she wore, he felt his control slipping.

He couldn’t think when she was close. Didn’t want to think. But he didn’t want to take either. Zoraida needed Claire’s soul. An angel’s soul. He didn’t want to be the one to deliver it to her. And that had nothing to do with his own hopes and fears. It had to do with Claire.

She scooted closer, and her knees pressed against the insides of his, sending shivers of arousal spiraling straight up his legs to tighten his groin. “If you’re waiting for fear, Ashur, you’re not going to find it. I told you before, I trust you.”

No one had ever trusted him before. Not his father, not his brothers, not even himself.

He leaned forward in his chair until her heat consumed him and made him light-headed, but still he held back. “And what if I am your test? Are you willing to risk the loss of the Seven Heavens all for one night with me? A djinni? Smokeless flame that could incinerate your light? You know what I am,
maya
. Let’s not pretend anymore.”

Her gaze searched his face. This close, he could see the flecks of gold and gray in her blue irises. And Allah, he wanted her. Wanted her in a way he hadn’t wanted anything or anyone before. But if he corrupted her soul in the name of pleasure, he’d be no better than the Ghuls Zoraida commanded. No better than Zoraida, really.

He didn’t want to be like the sorceress. He wanted to be…himself. He wanted to be free. Wanted to find love like his brothers. Wanted to live…like Claire wanted.

Her fingertips brushed his jaw, her touch so wickedly intense, he tipped his head toward her hand before he could stop himself. “You are not evil, Ashur. And the sorceress does not hold sway over you, not unless you let her.” Her fingertips left his jaw, grazed the hollow at his throat where the opal should be sitting but could only be seen in his realm. Her touch—so gentle, so soft—sent electrical sensations all through his groin. “I do not believe you will incinerate my light. Not when there is goodness in your heart. Goodness always triumphs over evil. Always.”

Her hand slid down to rest over the space holding his heart. And the heat and life pulsing in her palm caused every cell in his body to come alive. “Banished or not, not even an angel can see into the heart of a person,
maya
.”

A slow smile crept across her face, and she lifted her gaze back to his. “True, but I know what I feel. And right now, I want to feel you. Around me. Against me.
Inside
me. Not the djinni I summoned, Ashur. Just you.”

He stared into her eyes. And beneath the thin fabric of his pants, his cock hardened, aching with the need to give her exactly what she craved. But still he held back. Because his thoughts were jumbled, his emotions all over the map. He didn’t know if he should touch her. Didn’t know if he’d be able to stop once he started, even if she begged. Didn’t know if she was right or he was wrong or if by taking her like they both so obviously wanted, he’d be saving or condemning her after all.

She pushed against him, and he moved back easily. His spine met the chair. Then she climbed onto his lap, and all thought, all doubt drifted away and was replaced by a heat that surrounded him, consumed him and overrode everything else. “No more talking, Ashur. I just want you.”

Her mouth pressed against his before he could stop her. Before he could think to stop her. And when the tip of her tongue stroked the seam of his lips, he opened and tasted her, just as he’d wanted to do from the first moment.

“Ahh…” He groaned into her mouth, slid his hand down her side and under her shirt until his fingers found skin, and gave up the fight. She answered by kissing him deeper, laving her tongue against his in such a deliciously erotic way, all he could think about was her tongue licking the head of his cock and what it would feel to have his shaft encased in the warm wetness of her mouth.

She changed the angle of the kiss, leaned closer to press her breasts against his bare chest. He wanted her naked. Wanted this shirt tangled in his hands out of his way. He tugged on the hem, pulled it up. She broke the kiss long enough for him to drag the cotton over her head, then kissed him again before he even tossed it on the floor.

She shivered when he pinched the tip of her nipple. And he groaned as she pushed down on his lap, grinding her pelvis against his throbbing cock. He liked that she didn’t need a bra. Liked that her breasts were small and tight and ready for his touch. The reasons he shouldn’t have her drifted out of his mind. Confusion seemed to retreat into shadow. She was warmth and heat and light and life. And he was done questioning. Done debating. Done waiting.

With one hand, he gripped the back of her head. With the other, he reached for the button on her shorts. “
Maya
…”

She groaned, then slid out of his grip before he could stop her.

Chill air replaced heat. Confusion thundered back as he blinked into the dark, trying to find her.

Then her fingertips tugged on the tie at his waistband, and he looked down to see her kneeling between his legs, a wicked smile across her lips, desire and need alive in her eyes.

“I want all of you, Ashur.” She pulled the tie and reached inside his pants to free his aching cock. “This time, it’s my turn to drive you mad with desire.”

CHAPTER NINE

Claire had never known such power before. Not even when she’d held the strength to determine the fate of a soul.

As she looked up into Ashur’s dark eyes and slowly stroked his thick shaft, she knew the power women held over men. Knew—finally—just what it was about lust and love that could make a soul forsake everything else.

Was that what this was? Love? A buzz ignited in her head and beneath her ribs while she slid her hand down the length of his cock. His groan told her he liked what she was doing, the sound making her sex clench in anticipation of what he would feel like not in her hand but inside her body. He was big, thick. Mouthwatering. And just touching him like this was distracting her from her thoughts. She barely knew him. Had only just come to understand him. It couldn’t be love so soon… Could it?

“
Maya
…”

He was djinn, darkness and flame. She was angel, light and purity. Except…he wasn’t all bad, and she wasn’t all good as they’d both been led to believe. There were shades of gray within each of them, regardless of where they’d come from.

“
Maya
…that feels so good. If you keep that up—”

She couldn’t meet his eyes. Didn’t want to think about love. Couldn’t. Not yet. Leaning over his lap, she pushed the questions and doubts aside and extended her tongue, then tasted the very tip of him.

“
Maya
…”

The lust she heard in his voice melded with her own. Spurred her on. She took her cues from him, this time circling her tongue around the head and stroking the flared tip until he quivered. He groaned and lifted his hips, so she did it again. He answered by growing harder against her tongue, sliding his fingers into her hair to grasp her skull. But he didn’t direct her movements, and deep inside she sensed he was giving her control. Gifting her the one thing he needed to keep at all costs.

Her chest warmed with both power and emotions she couldn’t define. Running the flat of her tongue down the underside of his cock, she marveled when his whole body shivered, the way hers had when he’d teased her with that purple toy. And when his thighs tensed under her arms, she knew his restraint was about to snap. She wanted to give him what he needed. Wanted to thank him for making her feel so alive. Closing her lips over his length, she finally drew him deep.

“Claire…” His throaty moan, the way he lifted his hips, the way he filled her mouth so completely drew her own need and desire to the forefront. She took him deeper, sucked harder, released him as he brushed the back of her throat. Her hand slid down to cup his balls, and before he could moan and press into her mouth again, she sucked him deep all over, stroking her tongue along the underside of his cock while she swallowed the head.

His entire body tensed. He thrust deep into her throat, grew impossibly hard against her tongue. She swallowed again and again, didn’t stop, even when he tried to push her away. And she felt his release coming, knew the moment every muscle in his body seized that it was consuming him and he was powerless to stop it.

Warmth filled her mouth—salty, sweet, full of heat and life and him—and she swallowed all that he gave her, reveling in the fact she’d brought him to the brink. That she’d given him the kind of pleasure he’d given her. That she’d made him feel alive.

He moaned and pressed deep once more, then relaxed against the chair. Claire released him, eased back, looked up to find him staring down at her with that unreadable expression all over again. And though her body still vibrated with her own need, the way he was studying her spurred a shot of unease straight through her belly.

“I—”

He moved so fast she barely tracked his movements. One second she was on her knees in front of him; the next she was on her back on the bed, his heaving body hovering over her, radiating renewed heat and need. “I am the one who is supposed to be doing the pleasuring, not you.”

Relief flooded her veins, and the thrill of his words hardened her nipples. “I don’t command you, remember? You wanted me to pleasure your cock. I don’t remember you telling me to stop.”

A wicked smile curled his lips. One that was so damn sexy, it made her lust stronger, her need hotter. Made her shake with the force of her desire. “There are other things I want you to do to my cock.” His gaze drifted to her breasts. “But first I want to taste you. This time all of you.”

He lowered his mouth to her nipple, ran his tongue along the tip until she groaned. And the same wicked sensations she’d felt when he’d done this back on that island rolled through her hips all over again. She spread her legs, arched against him. He moved to her other breast, traced the areola with his tongue, drove her mad while his hand slid down her bare belly and finally popped the snap of her shorts.

Yes,
yes
…

He continued to tease her breast. His fingers slid inside her shorts, moved lower. His palm brushed her mound; then his lips suckled hard, and his fingers danced along her slit.

“Oh,
maya
, you are so wet for me.” She groaned at his words, at the electrical vibrations rocking her core. He stroked her throbbing clit, slid his hand lower, then finally pressed one finger deep inside.

“So wet and tight,” he whispered against her breast. He drew out, pressed back in with two fingers. His hot breath fanned her breasts. Her sex tightened as he thrust in and out. “Tell me what you want,
maya
. Do you want my fingers here, or would you rather have my cock?”

Oh…she couldn’t think straight. Couldn’t focus on anything but how wickedly good he felt. “Ashur—”

“Tell me. My fingers or my cock.” He pressed deep, stroked inside, grazed his thumb over her clit.