Polgara the Sorceress (33 page)

‘We’re going to have to be careful, my Lord,’ I told my Wacite friend when I finally got him alone. ‘There are
hot-heads in all three duchies, and a chance remark at the wrong time could make this all fly apart on us without any warning. I’ll be talking to the assembled notables from time to time, and I’m going to keep hammering on the fact that as long as any one of the Arendish dukes has regal ambitions, Arendia’s going to be vulnerable to Murgo plotting. There might be an undisputed crown of all Arendia someday, but not right now. I think that the best we can hope for at this particular time is an agreement between you, Mangaran, and Corrolin that there
isn’t
an Arendish crown, and there’s no point to killing half the population in order to cram a fiction on somebody’s head.’

‘It seemeth me that some unspoken rebuke doth hover over that last remark, my Lady,’ my handsome friend noted.

‘Look upon it as a cautionary word, your Grace. I shall not rebuke thee until thine opinion of thyself doth grow
too
exalted. Look with profound distrust upon any man who pretends to offer thee a pathway to a non-existent crown. Now, then, I don’t think that lasting peace is going to grow out of one meeting, so I’m going to suggest that we follow an Alorn example here in Arendia. The Alorn kings meet periodically on the Isle of the Winds for discussions of matters of mutual concern. I think we might want to give
that
notion some consideration here as well. If the three Arendish dukes meet every summer, they’ll be able to deal with any frictions that might have arisen during the past year. Let’s not give any imagined insults time to fester.’

‘I shall strive to mine utmost to make this come to pass, my Lady.’

Then I flew on back to Vo Astur to wheedle a similar agreement out of Mangaran and Asrana. In point of fact, I spent several months on the wing in the skies over Arendia. It’s not a bad idea when you’re dealing with Arends to get agreements on everything
before
you gather them around the conference table. I kept my agenda simple for this first little get-together, limiting our discussions to two or three crucial points. If I could make this gathering an annual event, there’d be plenty of time at later meetings to expand peaceful contacts.

It was mid-autumn by the time we all gathered in the garishly striped royal pavilion Corrolin had ordered to be set up on the outskirts of the fair, and each ruler rose in turn to address an assembly comprised of assorted state functionaries
and
by observers from Tolnedra and from the Alorn kingdoms. Corrolin, as host, spoke first. He formally greeted the other two rulers and the emissaries from foreign lands, noting in passing that Salmissra had declined the opportunity to send an observer. He then spent about a half-hour saying nice things about me. I found
that
part of his speech fairly interesting.

After Corrolin had exhausted
his
vocabulary, Kathandrion rose and
also
waxed extravagant in his praise of me. I liked that speech too. Then Mangaran stood up and demonstrated the fact that the Asturians had not totally forgotten how to thee, thou, and what-not. The shrewd old earl concluded his remarks with a little surprise, however. ‘Nobles all,’ he said with a faint smile. ‘This gathering here on the plain of our mournful Arendia hath as its ultimate goal a lasting peace. For many, this will seem unnatural, and for others, perhaps even impious. Peace is an alien concept in Arendia, and the fact that our meeting hath lasted for quite nearly an entire afternoon with not a single drop of blood spilled may cause outrage in some quarters. Since we are flying into the very teeth of convention, let us further shock that stuffy old grand dame with yet another violation of her conception of how things ought to be done. Ladies, as all the world doth know, are creatures of delight, more beauteous, more genteel, more tender than are we, and it is the sworn duty of every right-thinking nobleman in all the world to protect and serve them. It is also known, however, that their minds are not the equal of ours. Our fulsome and most deservéd praise of Lady Polgara this day hath encouraged me to investigate a shocking possibility. Could it be that great Chaldan
hath,
in fact, given women brains? Is this possible? Then, emboldened by the fact that a divine thunderbolt had not as yet incinerated me, I pushed this heretical concept even further out into unexplored territory. It is well known, I think, that Duke Oldoran hath recently been removed from his throne and ensconced in a
monastery to rave and scream out the remainder of his life. It is
also
widely bruited about that
I
was responsible for his removal. I will openly confess that this is true, but it would not have happened had it not been for the assistance of two – not one, but two – ladies. The one, of course, was Lady Polgara. I’m sure that surprises no one here. What is
not
so widely known, however, is the fact that a high-born lady in Vo Astur was
also
involved – all the way up to her pretty eyebrows. Moreover, she has advised me in most matters since I seized control of the government of the duchy of Asturia. The need for total openness at this conference impels me to reveal this and to introduce the lady who rules at my side. Nobles all, may I present the Countess Asrana, a conspiratoress without peer.’

There was some faint applause, which gradually grew less faint, swelling finally into an ovation.

‘I’ll get you for this, Mangaran,’ Asrana said, rising to her feet.

‘Promise?’ he asked slyly.”

Asrana struck a tragic pose. ‘And now is my dreadful secret revealed,’ she declared. ‘How can anyone possibly forgive me? Truly, gentlemen, it was not my fault. Polgara made me do it. It’s all
her
fault.’ She sighed a long, quivering theatrical sigh. ‘I am exposéd now, so I guess we might as well get on with this. This unnatural gathering has been convened to explore the possibility of peace. – Isn’t that
awful?
How can we live without enemies? We
have
to hate someone!’ She paused, then snapped her fingers. ‘I have it, my Lords! I have the solution! Let’s hate Murgos instead of each other! Murgos are hideous, and Arends are the most beautiful people in the world. Murgos are dishonorable, and Arends are all nauseatingly saturated with honor. Murgos are unmannerly, and Arendish courtesy is the despair of the known world. Let us join hands, nobles all, and pledge upon our sacred honor to hate the eyebrows off every Murgo we meet.’

They were all laughing by now, and pounding on the table with delight. The Countess Asrana had neatly rolled them all up into a little ball and put them in her pocket.

‘I do confess that I
like
this charming young lady, your
Grace!’ I heard Mandorin say to his duke. ‘She is utterly delightful.’

I just happened to be watching Asrana’s face when he said that about her, and her look became just a trifle smug. Then, without so much as changing expression, she winked at me. She’d obviously overheard Mandolin’s remark, and it was also obvious that she felt that she’d just won something.

There was a banquet that evening, and Baron Mandorin managed to find a seat next to Asrana’s where she promptly did war upon him. Her cavalry charges were outrageously winsome remarks and observations. Her siege engine of choice was a low-cut gown that went just a bit beyond the bounds of propriety. Baron Mandorin didn’t
quite
sue for peace that evening, but he came very close.

The Countess shared my quarters, and I waited up for her. ‘Why Mandorin?’ I asked her bluntly when she came in.

‘I didn’t quite follow that, Polly.’

‘Why are you setting your cap for Baron Mandorin? There are others here who are prettier, and he’s quite a bit older than you are.’

‘So much the better,’ she replied, letting her hair down and shaking it out. ‘With Mandorin, I won’t have to endure all those calf-eyed looks and the reams of misspelled bad poetry. Mandolin’s very close to the center of power in Mimbre, and I’ve got a similar position in Asturia. You’ll be managing things in Wacune, so among the three of us, we ought to be able to keep everybody in line – long enough for peace to become a habit, at least.’ Then she gave me a wicked sidelong glance. ‘I hate to say it, Polly, but I’m going to have more fun than you are.’

‘Are you doing this out of patriotism, Asrana?’ I asked incredulously.

‘You can call it that if you wish, but down at the bottom, power excites me – and the three of us are going to have almost all the power there is in poor old Arendia. You can’t ask for much more than that.’

‘What about love, Asrana?’

She shrugged. ‘What about it? Love’s for children,
Polgara. It’s a plaything I’ve outgrown. I
like
Mandorin. He’s handsome and unspeakably noble. The years will erode his handsomeness, and
I’ll
erode his nobility. We’ll do some fairly unpopular things, I’m afraid, but Arendia’s going to be better for it. If that makes me a patriot, so be it. Watch me very closely, Polly. I might even be able to teach
you
some tricks.’

By mid-morning of the next day, even the densest Arend in Duke Corrolin’s pavilion was aware of the fact that something was ‘going on’ between our unscrupulous countess and Baron Mandorin, and I think that was
also
included in Asrana’s plan. I don’t think that even Ce’Nedra could ever be as duplicitous as Asrana was. By the end of that day, poor Baron Mandorin was completely in her thrall. He watched her every move and hung on her every word – since Asrana spoke frequently at our deliberations. Here was a young lady who could play two games at the same time – and both of them very well.

On the fourth day, the leaders of Mimbre, Asturia, and Wacune signed the ‘instrument of peace’, and immediately thereafter Duke Corrolin rose and invited everybody to stay for the wedding. Countess Asrana could move
very
fast when it suited her.

Once again I found myself pressed into service as a bridesmaid, and all went smoothly. Asrana and Mandorin were married with not so much as an earthquake or tidal wave to alert poor Arendia to a dangerous new force that had come into being right at her very heart.

I hate to admit this, but when you get right down to the core of things, my father and I are very much alike. We both know that our primary business will always be study and the slow accumulation of knowledge. Interruptions crop up from time to time, though, and we’ll both assume surly expressions when someone comes rushing into the Vale begging us to go out and save the world. Would you be at all surprised if I told you that our apparent grouchiness is only a sham? To be completely honest about it, we enjoy putting out these little brush-fires almost as much as we’d enjoy discovering just exactly why two and two makes four.

When I’d spent those years on the Isle of the Winds, I’d been at the very center of things, and I’d found that to be engrossing. Then, when I’d been called away again to deal with Ctuchik’s scheme in Arendia, I’d enjoyed that just as much. Like my father, I’ll always be happy to lay my book aside when the fire-bell rings.

Given the tentative nature of the peace father and I had crammed down the throats of assorted Arends, it was fairly obvious that I was going to have to stay in Arendia to make sure that it stayed crammed. And so it was that in the spring of the year 2313 I returned briefly to father’s tower to pick up a few things I might need. I suppose I could have just willed what I needed into existence, but they wouldn’t have been the same, for some reason.

Father had returned to the Vale during the previous winter, and when I reached his tower, he called the twins over, and the four of us got down to cases. ‘I’d rather hoped to see uncle Beldin,’ I said.

‘He’s still off in Mallorea, Pol,’ Belkira said. ‘What’s happening in Arendia?’

‘What’s
always
happening in Arendia?’ Beltira snorted.

‘Pol took steps,’ father told them. “There’s this unnatural
silence hovering over Arendia right now. I think it’s referred to as peace.’

‘I don’t know that I’d go quite
that
far, father,’ I disagreed, getting up to check the ham I was baking for supper. ‘Ctuchik had things fairly well stirred up, and the Arends were having a lot of fun with his little fires. Now that we’ve doused them with cold water, the Arends are at a loss for excuses to slaughter each other. I wouldn’t really call it peace yet, though. They’re sitting around waiting for somebody to come up with new reasons to go to war.’

‘I’m sure they’ll find something,’ he said sourly.

‘That’s why I’m going back,’ I told them. ‘I want to make it very obvious to the Arends that if they don’t behave themselves, I’ll spank them.’

They aren’t actually children, Pol,’ Belkira objected.

‘Oh,
really?
You haven’t been there lately, uncle. Arends are a very charming people, but a lot of that charm lies in the fact that they’ve never grown up.’

‘Are you going to settle in one place, Pol?’ Beltira asked, ‘or were you planning to be a traveling fire-brigade?’

‘I’ve had invitations from all three of the rulers in Arendia, uncle, but I think I’ll set up operations in Vo Wacune. It’s far more attractive than Vo Astur or Vo Mimbre, and Duke Kathandrion shows a few flickers of intelligence. At least he can see beyond his own borders. I don’t think Mangaran or Corrolin can yet. I’ll probably have to rush about quite a bit until peace gets to be a habit, but it’s always nice to have a place to call home.’ Then I thought of something the twins ought to know about. ‘Ctuchik’s come up with a way to disguise his agents,’ I told them. There’s a quasi-religious order headquartered in the Great Desert of Araga off to the southeast of Nyissa. They’re called the Dagashi, and they’re half-breed Murgos. Their mothers – and probably grandmothers as well – are slave women from other races. The Dagashi are bred down to the point that they don’t have Angarak features, and they’re trained as spies and assassins. Don’t automatically assume that just because somebody doesn’t
look
like an Angarak, it means that he isn’t one.’

‘That could be fairly troublesome,’ Beltira said, frowning.

‘It already has been several times,’ I said. ‘I thought we all ought to know about that. Oh, there’s something else as well. Evidently the Murgos have discovered gold in their mountains. They’re very free with their bribes now. I think there are iron deposits near their mines, because Murgo gold always has a reddish tinge to it. That might help us to identify somebody who’s been bribed.’ I leaned back in my chair. ‘Ctuchik’s getting very much involved in things here in the west,’ I mused. “That
might
just mean that Torak’s getting ready to come out of seclusion at Ashaba, or it might mean something else. I’ll try to keep a lid on things in Arendia, but you gentlemen are going to have to stand watch over the other kingdoms.’

‘Thanks,’ father said sourly.

‘Don’t mention it.’ I smiled sweetly at him.

Then the following morning, I packed up the things I wanted and left for Vo Wacune.

It was late spring or early summer of that year when I returned to the fairy-tale city in the Arendish forest. Kathandrion insisted that I live in the palace, and now that I had some leisure, I was able to take a bit of time to get to know a wider circle of people in the Wacite court. Kathandrion’s wife was named Elisera, and she was an ethereal lady with reddish blonde hair who spent most of her time reading interminably long Arendish epics and overwrought love poetry. Her reading habits may have distorted her view of reality just a bit. She took me around to the various lords and ladies of the court, and even in the face of my protests, she insisted on introducing me as ‘Polgara the Sorceress’. Despite her shortcomings, I liked her. I also liked Crown Prince Alleran, her son. Alleran was a sturdy little boy of about ten who had a very unArendish streak of good sense in him. Unfortunately, his parents were doing their very best to educate that trait out of him before he reached maturity.

I hadn’t really wanted to take up residence in the ducal palace, but Kathandrion wouldn’t hear of my lodging anywhere else, and so I had to put up with certain inconveniences which were made all the worse by Elisera’s quaint introductions that stressed something I’d rather she’d glossed over. There’s a great deal of nonsense abroad that
concerns words like ‘magic’, ‘sorcery’, ‘witchcraft’, and the like, and most people simply lump all those designations together and assume that those of us who are talented in the field can perform any feat that’s grown out of the fevered imaginations of various poets bent on outdoing the competition. All the young – and not so young – ladies-in-waiting at Kathandrion’s court were fascinated by the idea of love potions, as I recall. No matter how patiently I explained the impossibility of such a concoction, I was still approached by teary-eyed hopefuls who were absolutely positive that there was a simple chemical answer to their most pressing problem. Most of them seemed very unhappy with my answer, but I’d no sooner sent one suppliant away with a pout on her face when another approached me, usually in private, with the teary assertion that she’d absolutely
die
if Baron so-and-so didn’t immediately fall madly in love with her.

There was another problem as well, although I rather doubt that Ce’Nedra would see it as a problem. Duke Kathandrion casually advised me that he, Mangaran, and Corrolin had agreed that I should receive an annual stipend ‘for services rendered’, and they each dutifully set aside an absurd amount of gold for my use. No matter how much I protested that I didn’t
need
money, I couldn’t seem to get my point across. I thought that I might raise the issue when we all gathered for our annual meeting that summer at the Great Arendish Fair, but when I got there and talked with Asrana, the Baroness of Vo Mandor, she pointed a few things out to me. ‘Just take the money, Polly,’ she advised. ‘You’ll hurt their feelings if you don’t, and what’s more important, you’ll lower your status if you start giving your services away free. If they don’t pay for those services, they won’t value them. In time, they’ll start treating you as if you were a servant, and I don’t think you’d like that. Smile and take the money.’

‘What am I going to do with it?’ I demanded. ‘They’re giving me far too much, and all it’s going to do is pile up until it starts to become a nuisance.’

‘Buy something with it – an estate somewhere, or a house in town.’

Now there was an idea that hadn’t even occurred to me.
At least if I had my own house, I could get away from the weepy-eyed girls seeking love potions to entrap vacanteyed young men who hadn’t yet realized that boys and girls are different from each other. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and so I broached the subject to Kathandrion as we rode on back to Vo Wacune after the meeting.

‘Art thou discontented with the lodgings I have provided thee, my Lady?’ he asked, sounding a bit hurt.

‘The quarters, I do assure thee, my Lord, are exquisite. It is their location which doth stand at the core of my dissatisfaction. So long as I am within the confines of thy palace, I am at the mercy of those who yearn to achieve certain goals without exerting themselves.’ I told him about that steady procession of young ladies who hungered and thirsted for unearned love and about others, no less parched and starved, who longed for mystic assistance in business dealings, intercession with the dice-cup, interference in the outcome of jousting matches, and other absurdities.

‘I shall forbid them entry into the wing of my palace wherein thou art housed,’ he suggested.

‘Kathandrion,’ I said to him patiently, ‘you can forbid to your heart’s content, and all they’ll do is ignore you. We’re dealing with obsessions here. These people all believe that they
deserve
the things they’re yearning for and that I’ve been commanded by the Gods to come to Vo Wacune for no other reason than to arrange matters so that they get them. Nothing short of physical violence will keep them away from my door as long as I’m in the palace. That’s why I’m going to need a house of my own – with a fence and a locked gate. It’s the only way I’ll get any sleep. I’m sure there are houses for sale in Vo Wacune. Could I prevail upon you to ask around for me and see if you can find something suitable? Don’t evict anybody or anything like that, but find me a place where I can hide. If I hear any more about love potions, I think I’ll scream.’

‘I had not realized that the nobles at court had been so cruelly imposing upon thee, my Lady Polgara. I shall let it be known discreetly that thou art in search of a more permanent habitation.’

‘I’d appreciate that, my Lord.’

‘Would it really work?’ he asked curiously, slipping out of ‘high style’.

‘Which was that, my Lord?’

‘A love potion. Can you actually mix something up that would make somebody fall in love?’

‘Oh, dear,’ I sighed. ‘Not you, too. No, Kathandrion. There’s absolutely nothing that’d have that effect. There are some herbs out of Nyissa that’ll arouse lust, but nothing in all the world that’ll awaken love. I know that love potions play a large part in Arendish epics, but in real life, there’s no such thing. It’s a literary device and nothing more.’

‘Ah,’ he sighed. ‘How painful it is to have one’s illusions shattered.’

‘I think that one missed me,’ I confessed.

‘My favorite epic tragedy doth hinge upon this literary convention thou hast described. I fear me that I will never again be able to read its stately lines with any degree of satisfaction. I will sorely lament its loss.’

‘It looks as if I’ve got further to go than I thought,’ I half-muttered.

‘What sayest thou, my Lady?’

‘Nothing, Kathandrion.’ I laughed and laid a fond hand on his wrist.

The house I ultimately purchased was not far from the palace. It was quite large, but very reasonably priced – largely because a generation or so of neglect had caused it to fall into such disrepair as to make it almost uninhabitable. I could have taken care of that myself, I suppose, but to do it that way would have merely spread the infection which was driving me out of the palace. My first step in the renovation of my house, therefore, involved the hiring of workmen to patch the roof, shore up the foundations, replace the broken glass, chase out the birds and squirrels who’d taken up residence inside, and to dismantle the brewery an enterprising tavern-owner had set up in the basement without bothering to take out a lease on the premises. I soon discovered that day-laborers in Vo Wacune came in three grades: bad, worse, and awful.

I stopped by one morning to see how things were progressing,
and I found that they weren’t. My workmen were nowhere in sight, and nothing had been done since my last visit. There were still holes in the roof you could throw a cat through, none of the rotting floor-boards had been replaced, and not even one pane of glass had been set into the window-frames. I stalked through the echoing ruin testing the outer limits of uncle Beldin’s vocabulary.

‘Tis a rare thing t’ find a lady so gifted with th’ language,’ someone behind me said in a thick Wacite brogue.

I spun around and saw a sturdy fellow with his face framed by a fringe of red beard leaning against my doorframe casually paring his fingernails with an evil-looking dirk. ‘Who are you?’ I demanded, ‘and what are you doing here?’

‘Th’ name’s Killane, Lady-O, an’ yer unspeakable eloquence has drawn me here as bees are drawn t’ honey, don’t y’ know. What seems t’ be th’ problem?’

‘This
is the problem!’ I burst out, waving my arms at the shambles around me. ‘Last week I hired some men to clean up this mess. They took my money quickly enough, but they seem to have forgotten where the house is.’

‘Y’ paid them in
advance?’
he asked incredulously. ‘Wherever were yer brains, Lady-O? Y’
never
want t’ do that. Th’ pay comes
after
th’ work’s done, not before.’

‘I didn’t know that,’ I confessed.

‘Oh, dearie, dearie me!’ he sighed.’ ‘Tis a poor lost lamb y’ are, darlin’ girl. Did y’ happen t’git th’ names of these lazy boy-os?’

‘I think the one who did all the talking was named Skelt,’ I replied in a half-ashamed voice. How
could
I have been so gullible?

‘Ah,
that
one,’ Killane said. ‘He’s
almost
as dependable as th’ spring weather. I’ll run him down fery’, Lady-O. There’s little hope that he or his lazy relatives have any of yer money left, but I’ll make ‘em come back here an’ work off what they owe.’