“He’s dead,” Peggy blurted out, caught between her loyalty to Darmus and her surprise in learning that Rosie had his child. “He died Monday.”
“What happened?” Rosie demanded, startled. “I just read about him and his Feed America group last week. Was he ill?”
Peggy explained the whole situation. She could tell by the growing look of horror on her friend’s face that she didn’t mean her harsher words.
Rosie leaned forward, almost spilling her tea. “Darmus was a good man at one point. He was selfish in his quest for glory, but I know he was a good man at heart. It was a terrible way for him to die.”
“How can you say that?” Abekeni yelled.
Peggy figured he must have been listening at the door.
“Abekeni,” his mother said his name softly. “You don’t understand.”
“You’re right! This man abandoned you. He never checked on you. You could have been dead for all he knew. Why should you mourn someone like that?”
“He was your father! He deserves your respect!”
Abekeni glared at her, then slammed the green door on his way out of the apartment.
“I apologize for my son. He’s young and wants the world to be a perfect place.”
Peggy explained about Rebecca’s death and Luther’s illness. “It hit Darmus very hard. You know how close he was to her.”
“Darmus always cared more about other people than he did about himself. He probably didn’t take a moment to get back in balance, either. He never did. Remember when his best friend, Julian, died? He fell apart, but he never let anyone know. He went out every night, prowling the streets. He acted like it didn’t affect him. He never wanted anyone to see his weakness.”
Peggy knew that. Darmus wanted to present a certain picture of himself to the world. He didn’t want anyone to see he wasn’t strong all the time. “I think inside he was always afraid people would think he wasn’t capable of doing whatever he was doing at that moment He spent his whole life trying to be worthy. It was hard for him to be real.”
Rosie agreed. “But he was such a gentle soul. It’s such a shame. Though he gave so much to the world and to others, he never gave anything to himself. I shared everything I was with him. He never shared himself with me. In that way, he was selfish. I hated him for that.”
Peggy sighed, and they sipped their tea in silence.
“I appreciate you taking the time and trouble to come up and tell me about Darmus.” Rosie sat back and shook her head. “It was a long time ago in some ways, but when I look at Abekeni, it’s like yesterday. Those were good days. I was careless, but I’m not sorry. I’m sorry Darmus never found happiness like I did.”
“So am I,” Peggy agreed. “Darmus never saved anything for himself. I think that’s why it hit him so hard when Rebecca died.”
They talked about their lives over lunch at a café that served food in an outdoor garden. Abekeni didn’t come with them, but Peggy thought it was just as well. However, it was unfortunate he would never know Darmus. Now he might hate him forever without realizing who his father was.
Eventually it was time for the long trip back to Charlotte. Peggy said her good-byes, and she and Rosie promised to keep in touch. After the door closed behind her, she looked at Steve. “I suppose all of that sounded a little old and maudlin to you?”
“No.” He followed her down the stairs. “It sounded like two old friends who don’t have anything in common but the past. It happens to everyone.”
Peggy was quiet on the two-hour drive back home. Steve was right. It was easy to talk to Rosie as long as they talked about the past. They both had sons. That was the only thing they had in common in the present day.
“It’s too bad she never told Darmus about their child,” Steve remarked. “A man has the right to know. I don’t know if it would have changed anything for them, but she doesn’t know, either. It could have been the turning point for him. Fatherhood changes a man.”
She glanced at him as he drove. “You sound like you have a child.”
He smiled. “And you want to worm the information out of me? No, I don’t have a child. But I’ve known friends who changed their lives to accommodate their children. No one knows what an experience like that can do to someone. She should have told him.”
In most ways, Peggy agreed. But she didn’t know what she’d have done if John was determined to leave her and she was carrying that kind of secret. In some ways she could understand Rosie’s choice.
They were silent again for a while as the SUV tires whirred softly on the road. The mountains were distant shapes against the sky behind them as they left Asheville and sped down the interstate toward Charlotte.
Steve finally broke the brooding silence that hung between them. “So what’s up for tomorrow?”
“I have to be at the Potting Shed in the morning for a delivery. My family should be here by lunch.”
“What are they planning to do while they’re here?”
“I don’t know yet. Paul has a few days off. They’ll probably come to the Potting Shed with me a few times. You don’t have to
do
anything. They’re capable of amusing themselves.”
He glanced at her. “Ouch! What was
that
for?”
She didn’t realize how sharp she’d been with him. “Sorry. I’m just feeling overwhelmed with all of this. It isn’t a good time for them to visit.”
“I have some free time tomorrow afternoon. I could help you take them somewhere.”
“I don’t expect you to entertain them. I appreciate you offering though.”
“I’d like to get to know them, Peggy. I may not be a teenage boyfriend, but I’d still like them to approve of me. They have to get to know me to do that.”
She laughed. “I understand. And if you
want
to do something with us, that’s fine. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to do it.”
“I don’t feel obligated.” He reached to put one arm around her and draw her to him, then kissed the top of her head. “I want to help my favorite person not feel so stressed. I’m sure she’d help me out if I needed it.”
She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. “You’re better than I deserve.”
“How can you say that? How many people would have done what you did today for a woman they hadn’t seen in twenty-five years? Not many.”
“How many women come all the way to Asheville without calling first?”
“Exactly. Crazy
and
self-sacrificing. That’s what I love about you.”
“Always there and very dear. That’s what I love about
you
.”
“Thanks. I’m like an old bathrobe.”
“A very nice, sexy, good-looking, irresistible bathrobe.”
“That makes me feel
so
much better.”
Peggy laughed. “What can you expect from a woman who’s crazy?”
“I suppose that’s true.” He sighed. “I never know what to expect from you next.”
“I like the way that sounds.”
“You wouldn’t if it was me. I worry about you all the time.”
“You worry too much.”
“I doubt it. Don’t forget, I’ve seen you do some
really
crazy things that make this look like a visit to the petting zoo.”
THE AFTERNOON WAS BUSY at the Potting Shed. Deliveries of new plants, potting soil, and other garden necessities came and went. The after-work crowd was bigger than usual. Everyone was getting out in their gardens or thinking about having a garden. Once the warm spring breezes started calling, few could resist.
Of course, later, many would neglect what they diligently planted in the spring. Peggy always tried to tell those gardeners from the more committed. If she sold the sometimes gardener the right plants, they would practically take care of themselves. That way, sometimes the gardener wouldn’t be disappointed.
They sold three Charleston benches and a large light kit for a walkway in an hour. “You wouldn’t be interested in designing and creating walkways, would you?” Peggy asked Sam when he came in to get supplies for the next day.
She secretly wished he’d change his mind about becoming a surgeon and be her partner in the business when he finished school. She didn’t know what she was going to do without him when he was gone.
Sam laughed, perfect white teeth flashing. His sky-colored eyes met hers. “Have you finally figured out how to clone me?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Seriously, Peggy, you’re going to have to hire at least one other person to help with the landscaping end of this. Keeley and I are swamped this year. It keeps growing, which is good. But we need help.”
“I know. And I think I’ve figured out a plan.”
“Okay.” He hefted another bag of fertilizer into the back of the truck.
“I’ll start another crew and hire someone to work with me.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Why?”
He paused and took both her hands in his larger gloved ones. “I don’t see a callus on either of these. You wouldn’t last a day.”
“I always wear gloves. And I think I could manage.”
“All right. It’s your business.” He shrugged and started loading the truck again. “What are you going to do about another truck?”
She gulped. “Get a loan?”
“Wow! We must be doing great for you to say those words. I know how much you hate getting loans.”
“Sometimes when you want to move forward, you have to be willing to take a chance.”
“Nicely said.” He flicked his hair out of his eyes. “By the way, what happened up in Asheville? Did you find your friend?”
She told him about Rosie and the reason she left school so suddenly.
“Did Darmus know?”
“She said he didn’t. I don’t know. I guess we never will.”
Sam closed the tailgate. “My family doesn’t know I’m gay. My dad would flip out if he knew. You know that. Sometimes, you can’t share some parts of your lives with people you love.”
“Don’t they ask you questions about girlfriends and getting married?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes my mom asks me about those things. But mostly, they’re both hoping I won’t think too much about girls or getting married until I finish school. That’s a big deal with them. Once I’m a doctor, it might be another story. I don’t know.”
She touched his arm. “They love you, Sam. They won’t care when they know the truth.”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know how they’d take it.”
“You’ll see. Sometimes a parent might not like what their son or daughter does, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love them anyway and accept it.”
“Like you and Paul with him being a cop? I agree. But you’re a different person. Anyway, I don’t plan on
ever
telling my parents. They might figure it out someday, but they won’t ask. It will be a stalemate.”
As she watched him drive away to the next job, Peggy felt bad about Sam not being able to talk to his parents. Anthony waved from his Caribbean café next door, wondering when she was coming by again for lunch. Cars moved sluggishly up College Street as the afternoon waned.
Peggy went to talk to a customer who was looking for some old-fashioned perfume roses for her garden.
“The kind my grandmother used to plant,” the diminutive woman explained.
“I have a few left, but I could order more.” Peggy showed her the three red roses she had. “How many are you looking for?”
“I’d really like white.” The woman perused the roses. “I’m doing an all-white garden on the left side of my house. My mother died last year, bless her soul, and I’d like to make a small plaque and a white garden. Mother said you always wear white roses after your mother is dead.”
“She was right.” Peggy smiled at her. “I can have some white roses in a few days. This new kind is very sweet, very strong, and the blooms are beautiful, as you can see from the red.”
“All right. I’ll take two dozen. Could I get those planted, too? I was thinking about buying a few other white flowers to go with them. Maybe some gardenias and a few white peonies. Maybe a small magnolia, too. Mother loved magnolias.”
As Peggy took the order she decided it would be a good place to start her part of the landscaping business. Sam was right. He and Keeley Prinz, her other landscape assistant, were way too busy to take on anything else. She might not be able to hire anyone in time to work on Mrs. Turnbrell’s white garden, but she could handle it alone. “I’m sure your mother will love it.”
“Thank you. I love your shop, Peggy. You always know what I need.”
4
Borage
Botanical:
Borago officinalis
Family:
N.O. Boraginaceae
Good in salads, this herb has a cucumber like smell and taste that is cool and refreshing. Pliny called it
Euphrosinum
, saying it made a man merry and joyful. Many generations have brewed the tea to bring back good humor and happiness. It was also said to bring bravery. People still preserve the pretty blue flowers and candy them for cakes.