Poison Heart (8 page)

Mum and I spent a gloomy evening together watching TV. At bedtime I realized that no one had even rung to see how I was.

It was lunchtime before I had the chance to confront Hannah and Nat. I slunk over to their table in the cafeteria, my eyes still red and bloodshot from yesterday. My performance was worthy of an Oscar.

‘Will you let me explain?’ I began, pulling up a chair to sit down. They both seemed embarrassed, confused and a bit standoffish. My voice faltered, which wasn’t put on because I really was nervous. ‘I … I should have told you how bad things were at home. I just haven’t been coping and it’s making me … really bad-tempered and a bit weird.’ The first tear rolled down my cheek and on to the ugly plastic table. Several more followed and I wiped my face with one hand.

The reaction was immediate. They both moved over and put their arms around me.

‘Why didn’t you tell us?’ Hannah cried. ‘We could have helped.’

‘We knew you were stressed,’ Nat added. ‘You’ve
coped with so much; it was bound to get to you eventually.’

The group hug lasted for minutes until I broke free. ‘Mum’s going to get some help – talk to people and try some counselling.’

Nat pummelled my arm until it hurt. ‘That’s great. I’m going to buy you a double latte with chocolate sprinkles to celebrate.’

‘I don’t deserve you two.’ I sniffed some more. ‘Thanks for being so understanding.’

‘That’s what friends are for,’ Hannah declared, just as Genevieve walked through the door. Our eyes met and time stood still. She tried to compose her expression at the sight of our three happy shiny faces, but she failed miserably. I saw rage and disbelief fighting one other. She moved forward, attempting to smile, but it looked more like a grimace.

And now for the real scene-stealer. I stood up, dried my tears and walked towards her. My arms enveloped her slim body and she immediately recoiled, but I held on grimly, enjoying her discomfort. We were locked together in a weird symbiotic embrace and I could almost believe that some of her blood was now coursing through my veins.

My voice was deliberately raised so that everyone could hear. ‘Sorry if I made you feel unwelcome. That’s not like me at all. I’ve had some problems at home.’

‘It’s OK,’ she muttered ungraciously. ‘I really wasn’t bothered.’

‘No. It was awful of me. You do forgive me?’

‘Yes. Of course,’ she replied woodenly.

‘And we’re friends?’

I let go of her and she flinched as though she’d been struck. Nat had turned away for a minute, her purse open, asking Hannah for change. Genevieve took advantage of their distraction.

‘Over my dead body,’ she whispered malevolently.

I threw back my head and laughed like a drain. ‘Genevieve! You’ve got a wicked sense of humour.’

She wasn’t expecting this reaction and the flush that spread across her face gave me a thrill of power. I’d seen a chink in her armour and I was determined not to let up. For the next hour I laughed, swivelled on my chair and kept up a stream of bright brittle chatter to show everyone how completely at ease I was. I made sure to include Genevieve in every conversation and continually used her name, even shortening it to Gen. Her green eyes grew larger with disgust. The bad vibes between us were so strong I thought everyone must be able to feel them, but when I glanced at Nat and Hannah there was no recognition.

After a while, the strangest thing started to happen – Genevieve began to droop before my very eyes, like a wilting flower. The more I acted, and the more I talked, and the more I pretended that she didn’t get under my skin, the weaker she became, as though we were in a tug of war and I was winning. I blinked, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. Her eyes went dull, her speech dried
up until she spoke only in monosyllables and even her hair seemed to lose its lustre. She was the invisible one now, while I glowed.

After lunch Nat and Hannah went to classes, which left Genevieve and me alone together. Part of me actually relished this as I tried to stop my own Cheshire Cat grin from filling my face.

‘Think you’re clever?’ she said.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Whatever you’re up to, it won’t work …’

‘You’re the one playing games.’

She moved closer, her eyes almost hypnotizing me. ‘Don’t underestimate me. It really isn’t a game.’

I squared up to her, straightening my back and lifting my chin. ‘It’s obvious you crave attention and don’t care how you get it.’

She spoke with real menace. ‘Don’t practise your amateur psychology on me. You don’t know what you’re dealing with.’

I gave a mock shiver. ‘Ooh, you’re terrifying me.’ She didn’t move a muscle and could stare for ages without blinking. Eventually I had to look away. ‘I don’t dislike you, Genevieve, and I don’t hold grudges.’

‘Obviously, Katy, I’m not trying hard enough. When this is over you’ll detest me so much you’ll want to …’

She left the rest unsaid. I gave my best benevolent smile, remembering Luke’s advice to stay calm. ‘We’re not the same. I don’t feel that way. If you must know,
I feel sorry for you … all that hatred must eat you up inside.’

She studied me with contempt and moved away, slinging her bag over one shoulder. ‘You’re wrong,’ she said easily. ‘It’s what keeps me alive and makes me strong.’

On my way out I bumped right into Merlin. He did an about-turn, taking a few steps backwards and looking me up and down.

‘There’s something different about you.’

‘Is there?’ I teased. I didn’t have to look in a mirror, I could feel my skin shining and my hair bouncing with victory.

‘You look so amazing … no … I mean, you always look amazing, but today you look especially amazing. Your eyes are so … luminous.’

He leaned forward and ran his fingers through my curls. ‘When the painting’s finished, I want it to reflect your face right now, this very second.’

I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a door recess, not even caring if the college principal walked by and suspended us for inappropriate behaviour. My cheeks burned with his long hot kisses. How could I have even thought about Genevieve taking him away from me?

‘Katy, we’re leaving right now,’ he croaked. ‘We’ll sneak away together … go somewhere, anywhere …’

‘I can’t. I’ve already been seen by Miss Clegg.’

‘Tell her you’re ill.’

‘I can’t afford to miss any work.’

‘After college then.’

‘I promised Mum I’d come straight home.’

He sighed with disappointment. ‘You always seem to be rushing somewhere or fretting about your mum.’

I stood on tiptoe and and held his face between my hands. ‘We
will
be together … soon.’

He closed his eyes. ‘Is that a promise?’

‘It’s a promise.’

‘Katy Rivers … you’re absolutely amazing,’ Merlin said, gluing his lips to mine.

‘You wouldn’t believe anything horrible about me?’ I panted, as we finally pulled apart.

‘Never. Why would I?’

A sudden feeling of dread swept over me. ‘Someone might do or say things that’ll make me look really … bad.’

‘It wouldn’t alter what I think of you.’

‘Honest?’ I grinned.

‘Honest.’ He grinned back, kissing my nose.

I sheepishly crept into my next class late, jealously guarding the memory of every touch and every word that had passed between us. He saw the real Katy. Nat and Hannah might waver, but Genevieve could never succeed in poisoning Merlin’s mind against me. I drifted off, replaying everything in my head, delicious prickles of excitement running through me. It didn’t last for long. I came down to earth with sudden terror, remembering my promise and realizing just what I’d agreed to. I needed some advice, and quickly.

Hannah pushed open her bedroom door with one foot, her arms full, and threw everything on to the bed.

‘Chick-flick DVDs, popcorn, muffins, mags, smoothies, marshmallows, chocolate spread, nail varnish, hair tongs, make-up box … This is a great idea of yours, Katy.’

Nat lay against the pillow reading. She burst open the packet of popcorn and crunched madly. ‘We haven’t had a girlie night in for ages.’

Hannah picked up her hula hoop and began gyrating her hips wildly. Even just hanging around the house in a slouchy tracksuit without make-up, her hair scraped off her face, she still looked great. ‘What’s first, Katy? Movie or hairstyle? Who fancies a beehive?’

‘Just wanted a chat really,’ I mumbled. ‘About … things.’

Nat immediately closed her magazine and shuffled towards me. ‘This is serious.’

‘No, no, it isn’t,’ I protested feebly. ‘But some things are a bit … personal and need more … privacy.’

Hannah’s eyes looked huge in her delicate face. She dropped the hoop and joined us on the bed and now I was sandwiched between them both. I flopped backwards, keeping my feet on the floor, and stared at the pink chandelier, unsure if I was ready to open up. Her room was so cool, decorated in a French shabby chic style with duck-egg-blue walls, a canopy over her bed, and a series of blown-up prints from her last visit to Paris, all showing Hannah next to famous landmarks.

‘What’ve you done?’ Nat asked bluntly.

I breathed in deeply. ‘Mmm … something a bit out of character.’

Hannah reached over and covered Nat’s ears. ‘She shouldn’t listen to this – she’s wanted to be a nun since she was seven.’

Nat blew a raspberry. ‘I have not.’

‘You saw
The Sound of Music
stage show and started to wear a veil and call yourself Sister Natalie.’

Nat threw her shoe at Hannah, missing by miles. ‘Shut up and let Katy get on with it.’

I’d started to giggle and it was ages before I could speak. ‘Well … it’s like this … Merlin has asked me to go camping with him … just for one night … and I’ve agreed.’

Hannah’s hands flew up to her face. ‘Oh wow, that’s awesome.’

‘It’s soon,’ Nat commented in a completely different tone.

‘I know it’s soon,’ I answered defensively. ‘I mean, we haven’t been together long, but it feels like I’ve known Merlin forever and he admitted he wanted to be with me the first time he saw me but he was slow getting started …’

‘He did take his time,’ Hannah agreed.

‘But he’s making up for it now.’ I blushed.

‘Katy’s in
luuurve
,’ Nat gently mocked.

Hannah sat up on her knees, her face glowing. ‘Are you?’

I held out my hands. ‘Think so … but it’s never happened before so I’m not sure.’

She peered at me inquisitively. ‘Symptoms?’

‘Well … I’ve got permanent butterflies … palpitations, insomnia, weird dreams, fever, inability to think … it feels as if I’m ill.’

Being in love
is
an illness,’ Hannah answered knowledgeably. ‘I read somewhere that a scientist analysed all the physical symptoms and it was the same as being temporarily insane.’

‘That’s helpful.’ I grinned.

Nat turned her mathematical brain to the problem. ‘Statistically the chance of meeting your soulmate is 720,000,000 to one against.’

‘That’s so unfair,’ Hannah cried. ‘How can you improve the odds?’

‘You can’t. It’s completely random.’

‘This makes it all the more amazing,’ I said dreamily. ‘Merlin and I being in the right place and the right time to meet like this. It was meant to be.’

‘You must be sure about how he feels,’ Nat commented.

‘Of course,’ I answered quickly, but then had to backtrack slightly. ‘Well, almost sure. Merlin is amazing, but sometimes … it’s like I’m fighting for his full attention because he can be so … deep and … preoccupied.’

‘Sure he’s not just playing hard to get?’ Nat joked. She stirred a smoothie with a straw and made a loud sucking noise as she drank. ‘We want all the gory details.’

I looked from one face to the other. ‘Well … it’s like a railway station in Merlin’s house with all those
artists
milling about, and we want to be alone … that’s all.’

‘That’s all?’

‘Yes, just a chance to watch the sun going down and wake up in each other’s arms.’

Nat began to play on an imaginary violin while Hannah tickled my neck. ‘Are you really that stupid? To wake up together you have to sleep together first.’

‘It’s a tent … we’ll be in sleeping bags.’

She gripped my shoulders and spoke to me in an exaggeratedly slow voice as if I was a child or really stupid. ‘You do know what you’ve agreed to, Katy? It won’t be like camping with the Girl Guides. He’ll have
other
ideas.’

Nat rolled over and kicked her legs in the air, convulsed with laughter. Soon I joined her, feeling all the tension of the past few weeks draining away from me. The
banter continued for another hour or so, interspersed with marshmallows dipped in chocolate spread. We talked about every boy we’d ever dated, and
exactly
what we’d done – which didn’t take long in my case: a few gross kisses with lots of saliva.

‘There’s something else I have to confess,’ I began, chocolate smeared across my chin. ‘I can’t do this alone, I need an alibi. Maybe I could say I was staying here?’

Hannah looked slightly crestfallen. ‘Mum and Dad are cool, but they hate me lying to them. If they found out …’

‘It’s only one night, so they won’t find out. I’ve already set the scene at home and said your parents are going away and you don’t want to be alone.’

‘What if your mum meets them by chance?’

‘No chance of that. She hardly goes out, and she’d ring my mobile if she wanted to speak to me.’

‘Merlin isn’t pressuring you, Katy?’ Nat asked, sounding a note of caution.

‘No, he’s not like that.’

‘You might not even realize he’s doing it.’

I smiled with contentment and didn’t care how nauseating I looked. ‘No, this feels just right somehow.’

Nat opened Hannah’s laptop. ‘Let’s put it on Facebook then. Katy’s in luurve and she’s ready to …’

She stopped and stared at the screen. With each second that passed her face slowly blanched. She opened her mouth, but no words came out and her bottom lip began to judder. I’d never seen Nat like this and it was awful
to watch, like witnessing a car crash in slow motion and being unable to help. She momentarily raised her eyes and they rested on me. I didn’t have a clue why, but there was something in her gaze that made me feel immediately guilty. I looked to Hannah for an explanation, but she just shook her head in bewilderment. Nat eventually gave a strangled sob and fled from the room with Hannah in pursuit. I heard the bathroom door lock and the handle rattle several times as Hannah tried to talk to her through the door. I was left sitting alone on the bed, totally confused.