Point of Contention (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (22 page)

dark circles under his eyes reminiscent of the ones she bared. “When

is it due to hit?”

“Mid-week,” he said, rousing himself to her question.

“What needs to be done? What are they predicting for its path?

What category do they think…Stuart?” Whatever he might have said

was lost. Instead, he moved quickly toward her and pulled her to him.

“Damn it, Kay,” he whispered, just before he kissed her. Stiff in

his arms, he didn’t release her from his hold until she softened under

him, accepting his lips against hers. Arms threaded up around his

shoulders as she opened her mouth under his, accepting his kiss

before taking from him. Kay had a passing thought of pushing him

away and didn’t. She pressed her body along his, feeling his erection

against her even through the heavy robe. His kiss left her weak

against him, like he drew the life from her each time his tongue swept

against hers. It was a heady experience, nothing like the few kisses

they’d shared earlier in the summer. From Stuart, it was a form of

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lovemaking, not just a precursor to the act, she realized.

His hands slid the belt on her robe open and slipped along her

waist. He didn’t seem to care that she still wore the wet bathing suit;

somehow it seemed to spur him on. His lips dropped to her chin and

traced a line of kisses along her throat. Arching back, she allowed him

more access as her fingers clutched at his shoulders. Kay felt the

warmth spread through her and couldn’t stifle a groan that forced its

way through her. Her hips moved rhythmically against him, driving

them deeper into the darkness he was creating. There was nobody to

interrupt them.

Stuart pulled back from her and dropped onto the lounge, his head

cradled in his hands. “I’m sorry, Kay.”

“I’m not, Stuart,” she told him with a half laugh.

“I’ll leave you alone,” he said in the most defeated voice she’d

ever heard.

“You do that, Stu. You had your little fix, now walk away again

for a few weeks.” Kay wasn’t sure where her attitude came from. All

the lust and want she’d felt were churning inside her. She wanted the

completion to what he’d started and wondered if she should push the

issue. Instead, she simply walked from the pool area, forcing herself

to keep her head up.

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Chapter Seventeen

The storm came in as a category two and hesitated over the South

Carolina coast for a full day. That left the North Carolina coast on the fringes, but not out of the path. While everyone had gathered in the

lodge, Kay was restless. She managed to sneak away and made it to

the barn without being noticed. All the animals seemed restless from

the storm, too. The dogs were all corralled in a far stall, and the horses were on edge. Wet from her walk, she tugged off the rain slicker

she’d pulled on over jeans and a T-shirt and tossed her umbrella aside.

Her hair was wet and plastered to her face and neck, the wind taking

her hood off several times during her trek.

Stroking the horses’ noses as she passed, she uttered kind words

to each animal and spent a few minutes at each stall, treating them to

chunks of carrots and apples. When she got to the dogs they all started

to bark. One word and they settled down. It was then she realized she

wasn’t alone.

“I thought you were in the office,” she told him, defending her

right to be in the barn.

“I was, until I saw you running in the storm.”

“I’m fine,” she started but couldn’t finish her statement. He was as

wet and seemed as miserable as she was.

“No, you’re not, and neither am I, Kay.” Studying her for a long

time, he simply opened his arms to her.

Kay stood her ground, not running to him like she’d wanted to.

Instead, she took a breath and spoke the words she knew would send

him away.

“Stuart, I think you should know, I’m not going to be renewing

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my contract. Come January, I’ll be moving on.” She watched his arms

drop to his sides, and he moved to lean on a stall door.

“Where?”

“Probably Seattle. I’m going there on my vacation at the end of

the month. If not there, somewhere near there.”

“Getting as far away from me as possible, Kay?”

“Something like that,” she admitted. “You don’t want me, Stuart,

and being here only antagonizes us both. I thought you’d be happy to

hear I’m going. You can go back to your no-emotions program and

not have to worry that I’m stalking you.” She let out a laugh, and it

turned into a sob. Turning away, she moved quickly to the far end of

the barn. She was struggling to put on her rain slicker when he met

her, pulling her to face him.

“Is that what you really want?”

“No, it’s what you want.” Kay stood her ground and gave him a

hard look.

“It’s not what I want, Kay, and you know it.” He released his grip

on her arm and turned away from her.

“Isn’t it? How else would I know, Stuart? I mean, you’re such a

talkative man, always clearly communicating your needs and

feelings.”

He spun around to defend himself and stopped short. Kay realized

there was nothing he could say. She was right.

Somehow his defeated stance made her laugh. And her laugh got

stronger and bolder as the seconds ticked by. Even though she knew

he was smoldering with anger, she couldn’t stop.

“You don’t know what you want, Stuart. First you push me away,

then you pull me back. It’s a sick game I won’t play any longer.

We’re not kids testing the ways of the world. I’m a woman who

knows what she wants, and you’re a man who can’t give it to me. It’s

best I move on at the first of the year. At least then I’ll find some

peace.”

Kay stared at him and waited for him to say something, anything.

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When he didn’t she had her answer. “Stuart, I’m sorry. I didn’t come

here to make your life miserable, only to try and find a new one for

myself. You don’t want any part of me or what I might bring to you,

so it’s the only option I have. I still have my one point of contention

that you won’t accept. Since I’m not married I want my freedom to

occasionally bring another man into my sex life. You can’t handle

that. I get it. It takes a stronger man to understand that my needs come first to me now. I spent too many years doing what society told me

was standard. I’m not a standard woman any longer. I’m willing to

wait until I find men who aren’t threatened by my sexuality and

needs.”

“What does Travis have to say about this?”

“Nothing. I’ve never mentioned the sex part to him seriously. I

don’t think I’d have to harass him for his attentions, temporary as they are. I haven’t told him about my future yet. My contract reads through

the first of the year with a three-month notice period on either side.

I’ll talk to him when I get back from vacation. I’ll have a better idea

of my plans after that. Until then, I figured you’d be relieved to know

my days are numbered here.”

“What would it take to make you stay?”

“Stay? Are you kidding me?” Kay tossed her rain jacket aside and

stormed toward him. “Stay! You must be crazy. After the last six

months of this sick game of
I want you, then I don’t
? Why would I stay?”

“Because you care about me.”

“Yes, I do, and you make it so easy to love you, Stuart.” Kay took

a step back and turned away. “Is that the problem, I didn’t fight hard

enough for you? Was I supposed to smother you with my attentions,

only to be pushed away like a child who didn’t know her place?”

All the emotions she’d kept at bay for so long surfaced. Even the

animals around them had gone quiet, sensing the storm inside the barn

was worse than the one raging outside.

“We’re adults, Stuart. I want a man, not a boy hiding in a man’s

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body, afraid to make a commitment to anything that has a brain and

can think for itself or works outside the norm. No wonder you’re so

good with animals—they understand their place with you. Only when

you’re in the mood for them. Otherwise, you leave them locked away

in gilded cages and stables. I’m not a damn horse or a dog, Stuart. I

want a man full time, not a half child afraid to confront his demons. I

want him to be sure of his own masculinity to enjoy me and an

occasional diversion.”

Somehow she sensed she’d gone too far and tried to rein back her

temper. Kay saw the vein in his temple throb, and she turned away.

“Would you prefer I find a replacement? I won’t keep you to the

contract.” Again he had no answer, and she reeled back to him.

“Damn it, Stuart, talk to me. I can’t read your mind. You kiss me

with a passion I’ve never experienced before, yet you pull away when

I react.” Staring him down once more, she shook her head at him, a

weary smile crossing her lips. “Thanks for letting me vent,” she told

him, this time managing to make it to the door before he spoke.

“Kay, don’t leave.” He said the words aloud and seemed confused

he had.

“Don’t leave now, as in this moment or as in don’t leave the

lodge?”

“Both.”

“Why, Stuart? Tell me why I should stay?”

“Because I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Kay watched his face and understood he surprised himself as

much as her.

“You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t treat me the way

you do. Maybe you lust after me, but we both know once your itch is

scratched, you’ll want nothing more to do with me.”

“That’s one possibility, I admit. The other is that once we’re

together for more than a quick fuck, I can’t go back to the life I had.”

“So it’s better that I move on then. This is your home, your land,

and your business. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable in your

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own space, but that’s exactly what happened. By being honest from

the start, I ruined any chance we might have had, even just for some

fun. But I still felt it better to be truthful than surprise you with my wants and needs a few months in.”

“You’ve made me uncomfortable since I first heard about you

from Travis,” he said, his laugh tentative.

Kay watched him, speechless. She knew they could have some

fun in the barn one last time, but it wasn’t what she wanted. The old

adage came back to her: Be careful what you wish for, or you just

might get it. If he touched her now, he’d be imprinted on her

permanently. Ultimately, she’d still have to leave him. The irony of

their situation wasn’t lost on her. She’d believed in fidelity all her life until her marriage. Now she wanted to draft the standards of her life

on her terms. It would be easy to tell him what he needed to hear, that

he’d be the only one she’d sleep with. But Kay knew that would be an

outright lie. Better to disappoint him now than to hurt him later when

she wanted more and he couldn’t accept her want.

“If I touch you, Kay, it will be forever. Can you honestly tell me

that you’d stay with me forever? That you’d stay with just me?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know you well enough. Probably not.

You’re not open enough with your feelings, and it drives me crazy. I

already had one marriage to a man who couldn’t commit. I don’t want

another…relationship I have to second-guess every day. Worse yet,

you’d never trust me. You’d always wonder if I was doing another

man when we weren’t together or was wishing for more.”

“What do you want in a relationship? Because you chose to ignore

the word
husband
.”

“I want my man to love me unconditionally. Good and bad alike. I

want him to need me as much as I need him. And he needs to

understand…”

Stuart moved closer to her, and her words died away. He stopped

within inches of her, the humid air between them thick.

“Understand what? That you were hurt once, or that he has to be a

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puppet you can control? That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? You

want a man you can control. One you can predict each response from

and never worry he might have a stray thought you didn’t put in his

mind. One who will share you when you’re so inclined.”

“No, I want a man who stands up for himself and for me, no

matter what.”

“And what will you give this man, Kay? What’s his reward for

surrendering his being to you?”

“If he loved me, he wouldn’t feel like he was losing anything.

Instead, he’d be gaining a partner, someone he can count on without

question.”

“Take off your rose-colored glasses, Kay. Real life doesn’t exist

that way.”

“As if you live in the real world. You hide away on this acreage so

the world can’t find you, figuring you can’t be hurt again. You don’t

want a partner or wife, Stuart, you want a mistress that comes to you

when you’re in the mood and disappears into the recess of your life

when it’s inconvenient.” Pausing for air, she finished with, “I’m not