Point, Click, Love (29 page)

Annie wondered why she was getting into all this with her mother, but a part of her needed her to know she wasn’t a complete loser after all when it came to men. Besides, in the end her mother had been supportive of her decision to have a child on her own—she was with Annie one hundred percent. Maybe she’d surprise her this time as well.

“Remember the sperm donor I told you about? The smart, cute one?”

“Yes.”

“Well, this is him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s a long story, Mom, but, basically, I tracked him down because I couldn’t get his sperm from the bank and so I thought I’d try to just ask him for some.”

“You know, Annie, there are other ways of getting a man’s sperm besides asking for it.”

“Mother!”

“Oh, calm down. I only mean if you’re together and you like each other, well, why not have a baby the old-fashioned way?”

“Because it wouldn’t work that way.”

“Why not?”

“Because men never do what you want them to do.”

“Boy, that Ben really screwed you up, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, I guess he did. But it’s not just him. They’re all like that. You think they want what you want, or they will someday, and they don’t.”

“It’s not always like that.”

“I know, but the odds aren’t in my favor. Sure, wouldn’t it be great if Marcus—”

“Marcus?”

“The guy. Wouldn’t it be great if he fell in love with me and was a wonderful husband and he wanted to have a child with me right away? But, Mom, that isn’t going to happen! If we got together, who knows how long it would last? Besides, he’s young and ambitious and he’s not going to want to settle down and start having kids anytime soon.”

“You’re right.”

“What?” Annie said in disbelief.

“You’re right,” repeated her mother. “Men are not dependable. And, sure, he’d probably stick around long enough for a few good lays—”

“Mom!”

“And then he’d be long gone.”

“You really think that?”

“You convinced me, Annie,” said her mother. “You keep telling me how awful men are these days.”

“Not awful, but not … dependable.”

“Okay, not dependable. You’ve decided to take matters into your own hands and have a baby. So do it. Screw this guy. I mean, not literally.”

“But that’s the problem. If he likes me—you know, likes me likes me—he won’t want to give me his sperm.”

“Then maybe you should screw him—literally.”

“Oh, I don’t think I could do that.”

“Why not? You think women don’t do that all the time? He’ll never know. Jeez, he’s been doling it out to the sperm bank like it’s going out of style. What’s one more little Marcus roaming around Kansas City?”

“You’ve got a point there.”

“I know I do. Just think about it, Annie. Don’t rule anything out. You’ve got him right where you want him.”

I
t was a strange feeling for Annie—to finally be the one with the upper hand. Of course, the tragedy was that she didn’t want a relationship with Marcus. She had arrived at a point where she truly didn’t need a man, where all she wanted was a child, and now she was being given the chance to be with the man of her—of every woman’s—dreams.

She forced herself to reconsider. Why not give in to Marcus and see where it could lead? she thought. But she knew that each day she put off getting pregnant diminished the odds of ever being able to have a child. Still, could she really let a guy like Marcus slip away?

Over the next few weeks, Annie and Marcus saw each other almost every other day, going to movies, art exhibits, dinners and lunches out, or sometimes just meeting at their favorite coffee shop, where they sat side by side working on their computers. Annie was biding her time, waiting for the right opportunity to bring up the sperm question. But then Marcus told her he’d like to cook dinner for her at his house, and Annie realized she needed to act fast.

As she drove down Marcus’s street, a canopy of trees above her, each house with its own unique charm—whether it was painted in an unusual shade of green or red or it had a funky sculpture in the yard—Annie couldn’t help thinking of her own neighborhood, with its scarcity of trees, mammoth houses all painted beige or taupe, and manicured lawns that looked more like golf courses than anything that had been touched by human hands. She imagined herself living in this neighborhood—maybe
even living in Marcus’s house—and how different her life would be.

Standing outside his front door, waiting to be let in, Annie braced herself for the bachelor pad she was likely to encounter. She figured there would be an old used black leather couch, a massive media center housed in a fake-wood cabinet, a four-chaired colonial dining set, and a dirty shag rug. But when she walked in, she found a cozy home decorated to a T.

There was a big, fluffy off-white couch with brightly colored throw pillows of yellow and teal, a distressed-wood coffee table, and an old-fashioned wingback chair. The dining room had a long harvest table with antique mismatched chairs around it. The kitchen was small but neat, with shiny black appliances and a center island covered in a maroon tile.

“Nice,” said Annie as she surveyed the small space. “Did an ex-girlfriend help you decorate?”

“No!” answered Marcus with mock indignation. “But my mom did help a little.”

“That’s okay,” said Annie. “Maybe she could come over and decorate my place.”

“I’m sure she’d love it!”

“So, what’s for dinner?” asked Annie, trying to move the subject off meeting Marcus’s mother.

“Pad Thai,” said Marcus, giving Annie a knowing look. “What?”

“Don’t you remember? When we met, you were checking out a Thai restaurant to take your friend to.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“How’d it go, anyway? Did he like it?”

Annie couldn’t bring herself to lie and have to describe her meal course by course, so she said, “He didn’t end up coming.”

“You eat shrimp, right?” asked Marcus as he headed for the kitchen.

“Sure!” said Annie, following close behind.

“I thought maybe you … kept kosher or something.”

“I’m not Jewish, Marcus.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure.”

“Why does everybody think I’m Jewish?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you’re from New York and you like smoked fish?”

“Makes sense. You know, that actually got me into trouble a long time ago.”

“Oh, yeah? What happened?”

“Let’s just say that if I were Jewish, I’d probably be Annie Weiner right now.”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not.”

“Yeah, good thing. Ben Weiner was a weenie.”

“Most men are, right?” said Marcus playfully.

“Totally! And weenies don’t know how to make Pad Thai!”

“So I guess I’m not a weenie?”

“No way!”

After dinner, Marcus and Annie brought their wineglasses over to the couch and plopped down amid the pillows and overstuffed cushions.

“This is comfy,” said Annie, feeling stuffed, happy, and light-headed.

“I know. A little girly, but I don’t care.”

“I don’t think anyone would mistake you for being gay,” said Annie, more flirtatiously than she had meant.

“Why not?” asked Marcus, feigning offense. “I could be gay.”

“Okay, okay, you could definitely be gay,” placated Annie. “Are you gay?”

Marcus smiled at Annie, not saying a word. Then he reached over, cradled her chin in his hand, and kissed her.

Many thoughts ran through Annie’s head as Marcus gently pressed his warm lips against hers, such as, How could I let so
much time go by without kissing a man? and Why does this spectacularly gorgeous man want to kiss me? and Am I doing this right?

“You’re not gay,” she said when he pulled away.

“I could be bi,” he said with a smile. Then he leaned in for another kiss, this time letting his tongue enter her mouth.

At first, Annie sat passively, letting Marcus take the lead. But as the kissing got more intense, she allowed herself to respond, to push closer to him, to touch his arms and his chest.

Taking this as a signal that Annie wanted more, Marcus caressed the outer part of her breast through her blouse with one hand, the other moving down her back.

Annie could see where this was going but couldn’t bring herself to stop it. She kept kissing him as he ran his hands along her body, as he began to unbutton her shirt. She kept thinking, I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t do this. All the planning and all the work would all go to waste if she slept with Marcus now.

But then again, she hadn’t felt this good in years, hadn’t met a man with whom she felt so in tune on every level—intellectually, sexually, emotionally. As much as Annie tried to deny it, she and Marcus seemed perfect for each other. So how could she let this go? And what about what her mom said? Why not just do it, do it without protection and get his sperm that way? But, no, she could never do something so deceitful. She could never bring a baby into the world like that.

It was all going too fast. She needed time. “I think we should slow down,” she said, placing her hand over the few buttons that were still intact.

“Okay,” said Marcus. “Sure.”

“I’m sorry,” said Annie, buttoning herself up.

“No, you’re right. We should slow down.”

“I should go,” said Annie, knowing she was being too abrupt
but also knowing that, if she stayed, she might not be able to say no again.

A
s she drove home, Annie began to enumerate all the many flaws in her plan. Did she really think she could befriend Marcus and ask him for a jar of sperm? Did she really think he would knowingly become the father of her child and never have anything to do with his own offspring? The sperm bank was different, anonymous. There was a reason for that anonymity, and Annie was stupid not to see it. And now that Marcus felt something for her, whether they consummated those feelings or not, her plan was shot. Unless Annie and Marcus got married and lived happily ever after, she would not be able to have his baby.

When she arrived home, Annie sat down at her desk and stared at her computer. She tried to project into the future, to see what would happen between Marcus and her. What she saw was the same story she’d seen over and over and experienced herself. She would imagine a future with Marcus, creating a family with him, and she would count on that future and plan for it and need it to feel fulfilled. But Marcus would have something else in mind, and one day out of nowhere she would discover that, and all her hopes and dreams and desires would be dashed.

Annie thought about Ben Weiner, how she’d promised herself never to get in a position like that again. Here alone, in her home, away from Marcus, she had the strength to do it—the strength to say no.

Annie booted up her computer and went to the Olathe Cryobank website. She pulled up her saved searches and found Donor No. 43009—Bob. Without reading over his profile, without giving it another thought, she scrolled down to the big red “purchase” button. And then she clicked.

Chapter Twenty

Match.com

K-K-K-KATIE

NO LONGER LOOKING … YIPPEEEE!

RELATIONSHIPS:
Happily Divorced/Happily Dating

HAVE KIDS:
Yes

WANT KIDS:
I guess I’ll keep the ones I have

MY JOB:
Part-time bank teller

MY EDUCATION:
Currently attending nursing school. I decided to become a nurse because I wanted to help people—no,
really! Also because I heard nursing is recession-proof

FAVORITE HOT SPOTS:
Anywhere but Mike’s Pub

TURN-ONS:
Flirting, public displays of affection, skinny-dipping, thunderstorms

TURNOFFS:
Flirting, public displays of affection, skinny-dipping, thunderstorms (with the wrong person)

IN MY OWN WORDS:
I know I’m not supposed to be on Match.com, since I already found someone, but I just wanted to tell all of you who are still looking that there is hope.

I’ve been divorced almost three years and am now in a committed relationship with a man who I love but never want to marry.

I met my man on Match. (Sort of.) So it really works! (Sort of.) Just beware. You may meet the love of your life, or you may meet someone pretending to be the love of your life but who really only wants to screw with your mind and make you question the goodness and decency of humanity. So my advice is this: If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

USMagazine.com

ARTIST TO THE STARS SAYS VIAGRA SAVED HER MARRIAGE

Celebrity artist Maxine Walters, whose paintings hang in houses belonging to Khloe Kardashian, Justin Timberlake, and Jennifer Aniston, says the prescription medication Viagra saved her marriage to renowned physician Jake Walters.

“We were totally headed to divorce court,” quips the ultratalented Ms. Walters. “It’s amazing what a little blue pill can do for a relationship. It’s never been better!”

Click here to see photos of other stars dealing with erectile dysfunction!

According to Walters, lack of movement in the penile area had an overall negative effect on her relationship with her husband. “He felt bad, I felt bad—it was a tough time for both of us,” she explains. At first, Walters was sure her husband was no longer interested in her. Turns out, he was interested—but just couldn’t get it up!

“I was so embarrassed,” admitted Dr. Walters. “So I withdrew completely. Now I know there are millions of men just like me out there. That’s why I’m speaking out, so maybe I can convince others to come forward and get the help they need.”

Can you match the celebrity with the mortifying detail about their personal life?

Walters insists divorce is no longer in the cards. “I was kind of getting psyched about the whole divorce thing and being single again,” she confides. “All my friends are doing it. But I figure, I might as well stay in it for the kids—and the big hard dick!”

Facebook.com

Claudia Spinelli just gave her two weeks’ notice and starts her new job as development director at Goodwill on Monday.
Wondering if working in corporate PR is like smoking—how long does it take for all that nasty black soot to get out of your system???