Plots and Pans (42 page)

His hand wrapped around hers, warm and strong. “Don’t go getting foolish on me, but keep the rest. I like yore womanly ways.”

“And I like having you around to make me buck up and get better.” She wriggled a little until she worked her fingers through his, then gave a squeeze. “Seeing what I’ve got waiting for me helps hurry the healing.”

“But here you were, trying to send me away.” Ralph tapped her on the tip of her nose, making her eyes cross so he could laugh at her. “Don’t be in such a hurry that it turns you contrary.”

“I’m not contrary; I just want a moment or two with my niece while the Burles is getting supplies. Go on and get her, then go out and soak up some sun!” She slid her hand away and shooed him again.

This time he followed her directions. Desta suspected he hung around close by, but she didn’t mind. She’d grown used to having Ralph Runkle close by and wasn’t going to give him any reason to give up the habit.

“You’re looking much better.” Jess carried in a basket of eggs and set it on the table before moving closer to the bed.

“I feel better, though for a time I thought you all planned to boil me. Atween the heat of the fire against my feet and all the water you got down my gullet, it wouldn’t have taken much.”

Jess grinned, but just as she’d been noticing for the past two days, the smile didn’t quite reach her niece’s eyes. “You’re welcome.”

“Come on over here and siddown a spell.” Desta patted a corner of the bed. “Now that you done such a good job nursing me back to health, it’s time you tell yore aunt what’s troubling you.”

“Ralph took on more than me,” Jess demurred. “And looking after you wasn’t any trouble. The trouble would’ve come if we’d lost you.”

Tears clumped up the last two words so they barely sounded English, but Desta understood. She patted the bed again. This time Jess skirted around the frame and sank onto a free corner.

“Now tell me what’s weighin’ on yore mind.”
And heart
.

“Nothing at all, and everything all at once.”

Desta snorted. “And to hear Ralph tell it, I’m contrary!” This brought out the hint of a smile.

“Sometimes two things that seem like opposites can both be true.” From the way Jess said it, a world of meaning lurked behind the words.

“Gimme an example. I ain’t so sure what yore sayin’.”

“Well …” After brief consideration, Jess decided to get the conversation started. “Our talk about God letting love be a decision stuck in my thoughts, and it makes sense that the deepest desire of our hearts would be the reason He made us in His image. We all want to be chosen and valued.”

“I like the way you put that. ‘Smatter of fact, I like it so much I don’t see the problem.” But she saw one looming in the darkening expression on Jess’s face as she gathered her thoughts.

“It’s the next part. Once we choose Him, why doesn’t He want us with Him?” Jess twisted her handkerchief as though the mangled scrap of fabric could help unknot her thoughts. “Why leave us here, hurting and far away, instead of bringing us home?”

“Maybe you and God got differing ideas ’bout what makes a home,” Desta pointed out. “For me, it’s not a place so much as the people you share it with. Since He lives within those who accept Him, He’s already as close as can be.”

“I never thought of it that way. Since Christ says He’s preparing a place for us in heaven, I always thought that was supposed to be our home together.”

“Yes. But for now, He’s working in our hearts to prepare us for that heavenly home. Most of us aren’t ready yet—we have a lot of growing to do before we’ve become our best selves.”

“Do you think that’s the reason Papa didn’t bring me home either?” Jess rocked forward, then back again before bursting out, “He didn’t think I’d grown enough? I wasn’t good enough yet? Because now it’s too late… .” Her breath hitched. “He’s gone!”

“Honey, I’m going to tell you something.” Desta reached for her niece’s hand and clenched it tight. “Yore papa wasn’t God. Not even close. He was a regular man, who made regular mistakes. Some of those bigger than others.”

“Me.” Jess sighed the word with resignation. “I’m the big mistake. My foolishness helped kill him. No wonder he didn’t want me back.”

“You weren’t the mistake.” Desta shook the hand she held. “Listen to me. His mistake was thinking that other women could give you what you needed, and that he couldn’t. He hated having you gone, but he made the sacrifice because he thought it was best for you.”

“No.” Horror filled the denial. “Don’t tell me that’s how Papa sacrificed for me.”

“Sacrifice means giving up something for someone else. But that doesn’t mean every sacrifice is the right choice.” Desta went whole-hog and wrapped her arms around Jess, rocking them both back and forth until Jess calmed down enough to work out one last worry.

“So how do I trust Tucker not to make a mistake like Papa did?”

“We’re all imperfect people, but we’re all different. Tucker won’t make yore papa’s mistake—he’ll find brand-new ones instead. But love holds us together through the hurts.”

“You make it sound so simple!” Jess sighed, but looked wistful instead of woebegone.

“It’s one of those contrary true things you meant. Sacrificing for the ones you love is the easiest thing in the world—and the hardest. But I’ll tell you a secret my mama told me: the more you give up, the more you find you’ve got left inside you to keep on giving.”

“Tucker!” Jess let out such a shriek she could only be glad he was still too far away to hear. Just as she’d known Ed from an impossible distance when her brother came home to her, Jess knew Tucker had come back for her.

Thank You, Lord
. Her prayers still might not amount to much when it came to counting the words, but Jess figured God felt the gratitude behind them. What’s more, she figured He understood that as she learned to be stronger in prayer, she’d be growing more into the woman He was waiting for in heaven.

Waiting’s not so bad when it’s something you’re willing to work toward
. Even though it took every ounce of self-control to hold back, Jess didn’t go flying across the field to meet Tucker.
He worked to come back for me, and I can wait an extra minute so he can see it through
.

It looked like she wasn’t the only one eager to cross that final distance. Tucker galloped toward the house and slid from his saddle long before his horse halted. Then Jess gave in and went to meet him. Three steps, and he caught her in his arms and spun her around, stealing a squeeze before he set her back on the ground.

“I’m so glad you’re back!” It was a silly, obvious sort of thing to say, but Jess didn’t care. It would do him good to hear her say it, and it did her good to tell him. She planned to be telling him the same sort of thing for the rest of their lives, just as soon as she could coax a halfway-decent proposal out of him.

And maybe tease him into tending a few steps he’s neglected along the way
. Jess beamed. She’d been planning how to have this conversation ever since Aunt Desta got better.

“I’m glad to have you to come back for.” He stood so close she could feel his warmth. His hands lingered at her waist long after he’d put her back down.

“You don’t have me just yet.” Jess placed her hands atop his and slid from his hold. “We have some questions to ask each other first. And some answers to give. I hope you’ve been thinking and praying about this while you were away?”

“Yep.” He reached out and snagged one of her hands. “Other than making arrangements for the cattle and passing them along to Ed’s man in Caldwell, and praying for Desta’s recovery, thinking and praying about our future was about the only thing I managed to do.”

A month ago it wouldn’t have mattered to her whether or not he’d sought God’s will. Now Jess took pride in the knowledge that she’d joined him from afar. The way she saw it, God might be up in His heaven, but when two souls sought His guidance for the same thing, He connected their hearts no matter what distance lay between. His love completed the story and helped make them whole.

“So, would you like to go inside and check on Aunt Desta and say hi to Ralph?” She swung the hand he held, and he swung right along with her for all the world as though they were children playing in a schoolyard.

“Not just yet. I’m hoping to go in there with good news to share.” Tucker took a step closer. “Why don’t you start asking those questions you’ve been keeping?”

“All right.” Jess took another step away, tugged her hand back, and started walking across the field. “Come on. Private conversations won’t last long if you’re standing in front of a house full of people wanting to see you!”
I should know. If someone else saw you first, it would’ve been impossible not to come running
.

He went with her, but stopped behind the first shrub tall enough to give them some cover. “This is far enough.”

Jess figured she’d waited long enough to start teasing him. “First question: Do you promise to stop criticizing my clothing?”

“Done.” Tucker reached forward and smoothed a strand of hair against her temple. “Better get to the next one, Jess. My patience is wearing thin.”

“After just one question?” She shot him a disgruntled look and tugged her hair away from his questing fingertips. “Well, that doesn’t bode well for the next question.”

“Which is?”

“The most important one!”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. This
is
important.” He gave a sheepish shrug. “It’s just hard to hold off on holding you tight when I’ve waited for so long, but I’ll try to be more patient.”

“That means a lot because what I need to know is that you’ll listen to me.” She prayed he gave the right answer. “When you say you’ll sacrifice to meet my needs, do you promise to listen when I tell you what it is I really need?”

Tucker stopped teasing her at once, instead looking deep into her eyes so she could read the promise in his. “I’ll listen, but I won’t always agree.”

“All right. As long as you value my judgment, I’m willing to trust yours.”

“Thank you.” He bridged the gap between them, sliding one arm around her waist to hold her close, but raising the other hand to cup her cheek. “Do you have any more burning questions, Jess? Or are you ready to hear my proposal?”

“No more questions.” She held her breath, refusing to miss a word of what was to come just because her chest felt tight and her breath might sound loud.

“Jessalyn Culpepper”—Tucker cinched his arm a little tighter around her waist—“you’re the first and only woman I ever considered sharing my life with—the only woman I think has enough life in her to make the sharing worthwhile.

“We argue, and you drive me up the wall. We work together, and you drive me to be a better man. You make me smile without even trying, and when I see you, my hands itch and my arms feel empty. God’s been working on my heart since the moment I saw you, and I pray He’s been working on yours the same way.”

He loosened his hold on her, bending down on one knee and asking her the question she’d been longing to hear. “Jessalyn Culpepper, I’m telling you now that I love you, and I want you for my wife. And if you’ll have me, I’d be honored to keep you forever.”

“Yes!” Joy lifted her high, and she realized Tucker had gotten to his feet and picked her up again. As he lowered her back down, she slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with everything she had to give until they were both breathless.

“For the longest time, I thought I’d find my home at the Bar None. But I was wrong. I’ll marry you, Tucker Carmichael,” she whispered, tracing the line of his lower lip with her fingertips. “Because with you, I’m finally home.”

Kelly Eileen Hake
received her first writing contract at the tender age of seventeen and arranged to wait three months until she was able to legally sign it. Since that first contract a decade ago, she’s fulfilled twenty contracts ranging from short stories to novels. In her spare time, she’s attained her BA in English Literature and Composition, earned her credential to teach English in secondary schools, and went on to complete her MA in Writing Popular Fiction.

Writing for Barbour combines two of Kelly’s great loves—history and reading. A CBA-bestselling author and member of American Christian Fiction Writers, she’s been privileged to earn numerous Heartsong Presents Reader’s Choice Awards and is known for her witty, heartwarming historical romances.