Pleasing the Pirate: A Loveswept Historical Romance (20 page)

She wanted to know what it was like, what it could have been like if she’d married a man she cared for.

She shut the window and turned on her heel, walking quickly to Phin’s bedchamber before she could change her mind. But she had to be honest, she wasn’t going to change her mind. She wanted this more than she wanted anything else in her life with the exception of finding her brother.

She hesitated outside his door, her courage faltering. What if he hadn’t come up yet? What if he were already asleep?

What if he didn’t want her?

No. He wanted her. She’d felt the proof of that against her belly. Wanting wasn’t the problem. Convincing would be the problem.

She pushed open the door slowly, peeking through the ever-widening crack. He was standing at the window, much as she had been in her bedchamber. The soft patter of rain lent a soothing background music. The cool breeze ruffled the ends of his hair. He wore no shirt and his back was roped with muscles. Tattooed on his right shoulder were crossed swords. She’d never seen a tattoo before.

She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her, leaning against it. Those muscles rippled and he turned his head to look over his shoulder. His unsurprised gaze took her all in, from the tips of her shoes to the top of her head.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said.

“I’m well aware of the risks.” And the possibilities. It was the possibilities that motivated her.

“You best leave.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“It’s best if you do.”

“If I always did what was best for me, I’d never have left Scotland and boarded the
Wanderer
.”

He moved toward her with a predatory grace that weakened her knees. This was a different Phin. This was the man she first encountered on the
Wanderer
. Frightening and intriguing, hard with an indisputable authority that had her stomach quivering in anticipation.

She trembled but held her ground. The way he moved excited her. All rippling muscle and fire in those stormy gray eyes.

“You’re a fool, Mairi mine.”

“I know.”

“This can come to no good.”

The truth of that hit her hard, but she withstood the blow. “I know.”

“I don’t want you here because of some damn debt or bloody bargain you think you owe me.”

“That’s not why I’m here.” Truth was, she hadn’t even thought of their bargain on her way to his room.

“Good.” He stopped before her, so close she could smell the lemony scent of him mixed with a male scent that made her blood hum in anticipation.

He grabbed her shoulders and yanked her toward him. She gasped but didn’t protest. He kissed her hard. Not like the kiss in the study, which had started off soft and sweet. This was pent-up need and long-standing frustration.

This was elemental and primal.

And God help her, she met that kiss and didn’t shy from it. Phin wouldn’t tolerate shyness tonight.

“You’re a fool,” he said between kisses.

Maybe. Maybe not.

She touched him, needing to feel the smooth skin of his stomach, the ridges of muscles that clenched when her fingers caressed him. He was warm. So warm it was shocking. She explored the skin of his stomach then smoothed her hands over his sides and onto his back where she found puckered ridges and various scars.

Battle wounds, no doubt.

She should be shocked, but it only added to her excitement.

She pushed her hands up to toy with his nipples. His shoulders flexed. His arms tightened around her, crushing her to him. Lightly, with just the tips of her fingers she skimmed down, down until she touched his waistband.

There was power here. Power in what she was doing, in how he responded to her touch. It was a heady power. One she could get used to.

His breaths were deep, harsh. His kisses made her weak in the knees. Made her blood run sluggishly through her until it was as hot as she.

She touched his erection on the outside of his breeches, noting the breadth, width, length.
He gasped and pushed his hips into her hand.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered, nibbling on her neck.

“Not half as much as you’re killing me. Touch me.” It was more a plea than anything.

He yanked the back of her dress apart, popping buttons. She heard them hit the floor and roll away.

“Damn corset,” he muttered, causing her to smile even as she agreed with him.

He pulled the top half of her gown off her as she untied her corset, nearly weeping in relief to have her breasts released. The cool air touched them, causing the nipples to engorge.

Phin bent down and suckled her breast. She let out a sound that was half squeak, half moan. Good Lord but she’d never known a feeling like this before. Her legs wobbled and that secret place between her legs throbbed.

He lifted his head and kissed her fiercely, possessively, as he backed her toward the large bed. She collapsed, bouncing once before he was on top of her, kissing her again, fisting his hands in her hair. He was heavy, anchoring her in place.

With his free hand he lifted her skirts, exposing her fully.

“God, Mairi, I want you.”

She tried to yank his breeches down but they stuck on his hips. He rose up and pulled them down himself. His member sprang out, bobbing before her. She’d only ever seen a man naked from the waist up. Had never seen one fully erect like this.

It was a bit daunting, to be honest.

Phin smiled. “Don’t be afraid.”

“I’m not.” And she wasn’t. Intimidated, maybe, but not afraid.

Curious, she touched his erection. Phin drew in a breath and watched her, his eyes glittering in the darkness.

“It’s so smooth,” she said in surprise as she explored more.

Phin groaned. He watched her through half-closed eyes, his hips moving in time with her.

“Stop,” he moaned.

Immediately she stopped and looked up at him. He rolled to the side and touched her between her legs. She whimpered, widening her legs. She’d never felt so heavy down there.

His finger came away slick with her wetness.

“You’re ready,” he said, his voice strangled.

“More than ready.”

He rolled back over her and before she knew what he was about, the tip of him was positioned at her opening. Then he thrust forward, entering her so swiftly she cried out. The pain was unexpected and shocking.

Phin smoothed her hair away from her face and kissed her. “Don’t move,” he whispered. “The pain will recede.”

She couldn’t move if she wanted to. His body weight was too much and the pain was a bit overwhelming.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought you knew.”

She shook her head, struggling for a decent breath.

Sweat beaded Phin’s brow and his jaw muscles clenched. She touched his jaw, skimming her fingers over the tight muscle.

A groan tore through him. “I can’t stay still much longer, Mairi.” He gasped and she suddenly understood his discomfort.

Hesitantly she moved her hips, eliciting another deep-throated groan from him.

“Don’t move,” he said from between clenched teeth.

But she wasn’t in a mood to oblige. She wanted to see what happened when she did move because suddenly it didn’t hurt as much and moving actually lessened the pain.

Also, moving felt good. The nub between her folds rubbed against Phin when she moved and that felt quite delightful, so she moved again. And again. Experimentally, then boldly.

Phin gasped, grabbed her hips in his hands and began to thrust into her.

“Oh, yes,” she whispered. It did feel good. Each time he thrust forward, she pushed her hips up, rubbing against him until something magical began to build inside her.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on feeling Phin’s member move in and out of her, of meeting his thrust with one of her own until they were moving as one, even their breaths were the same.

Acting on instinct she wrapped her legs around Phin’s hips and rode him as hard as he was riding her until that mysterious something she’d been reaching for broke over her, causing her to throw her head back and scream.

Phin covered her mouth with his, swallowing her scream as his seed exploded inside of her.

He pumped a few more times before collapsing on top of her. They both were breathing hard, sweat causing them to stick together.

What had she told Phin in the beginning?
I’m well aware of the risks
. What a lie that had been. She’d had no idea of the risks, especially to her heart.

* * *

The next morning Mairi awoke in her own bed with a bleary memory of slinking down the hall in the wee hours of the morning and falling into bed to sleep soundly. They’d made love twice. Both times had been … She couldn’t think of a word suitable enough to describe the momentous occasion.

Rebecca arrived humming a tune as she opened the curtains to let the bright sunlight in and causing Mairi to wince. She’d had very little sleep. Phin had been demanding, expecting full participation on her part, which hadn’t been a problem, but it left her sore and drowsy.

She dressed in yet another borrowed gown and made her way to the dining room. Susan was just finishing up breakfast, but Phin was nowhere to be seen. Famished, Mairi loaded up her plate and sat close to Susan because she’d learned that it was easier for Susan to read lips if she were near.

They chatted for a bit about the weather and the food and what Susan’s plans were for the day. Mairi learned Susan was the one who kept the flowers in the greenery and the gardens. She spent a lot of time with her plants and seemed to enjoy it immensely. She spoke animatedly, in that strange way of speaking, about her roses and pansies while Mairi listened with half an ear, all the while thinking about Phin and what they’d done the night before.

Someone knocked on the front door. Susan, not having heard, continued to talk. Mairi listened to the even tread of Mr. Horton’s boots as he made his way down the hallway.

A sense of foreboding overcame her and it took every bit of willpower to stay seated and pretend she was listening to Susan who was now talking about the day she spent with Annabelle yesterday. Apparently Susan was spending more time with her daughter and it was obvious that it pleased Susan very much. Had Mairi’s talk with Phin helped?

The front door closed and Mr. Horton made his slow way back down the hall, passing the dining room. Who had arrived? A messenger?

Had Grant sent another note? Surely he wouldn’t be brazen enough to send a note to the front door. Ever since she’d received the missive the other day she’d searched her bedchamber for another one, an explanation of why Grant had not shown up that night when he’d been the one to summon her.

What had happened to him?

She worried that it had been something bad. However, she had a feeling if he’d been captured, Phin would have told her. After all, ’twas the only reason she was here with Phin.

Something had spooked Grant. Something had warned him off.

Would he request another meeting? She was tired of waiting for him, tired of sitting on pins and needles wondering what would happen next.

However there was no note in her room when she returned to it after breakfast and no mention of the visitor that had arrived while she’d been eating, leaving her more on edge than ever before.

Phin was holed up in his study with Mr. and Mrs. Horton the rest of the day, leaving Mairi, Susan and Annabelle to their own devices. They played outside with Annabelle. Mairi read to the little girl for a bit before she took her nap and Mairi, finding herself alone, took a book and curled up on the settee.

The door to Phin’s study was across from the library and opened later that afternoon. Mrs. Horton was the first to step out, her eyes and nose red. She sniffed and hurried away. Mr. Horton followed, deep lines etched in his face, his gait slow.

What had the three of them discussed all day and why did the couple appear grief-stricken?

Mr. Horton left the door to the study open, allowing Mairi a glimpse of Phin at his desk, his head in his hands, his hair mussed. The bow of his shoulders indicated a deep grief.

Eventually he straightened and with a sigh she could hear from all the way in the library, he picked up papers from his desk and tapped them into a neat pile. He stood, walked out of the room and out of her sight. Eventually she heard the front door open, then close. Immediately the house felt empty without his presence.

* * *

She came to him that night, just as he hoped she would. Not as nervous or shy as the night before. He’d thought of her all day, through the difficult discussion he’d had with the Hortons. He’d thought of her and wanted her, not in the physical sense, although that was there, too, but in an emotional sense as well.

She smiled at him and came toward him with a sway of her hips that promised ecstasy and comfort.

She stopped before him and tilted her head to look up at him. The smile faded as she looked deep into his eyes. She touched his cheek, her fingers sliding along his jaw and throat.

“What is wrong?” she whispered.

He shook his head, unable to tell her. Not yet. He still had some time before the crown came for him. Less than he’d thought this morning before the king’s man came with a message that the king wanted the traitor and wanted him now. His men were still searching for Grant and they still patrolled the estate but even Phin was losing hope. There had been no more letters arriving for Mairi. No more requests for a meeting. There had been nothing. It was as if Grant had disappeared.

All day he’d met with his solicitor and then the Hortons, outlining what they were to do if he was taken by the crown. They were now aware of the provisions he’d left them with.

It’d been a very difficult day.

He took Mairi in his arms and nuzzled his nose against her neck, breathing in her scent, memorizing it. Sensing his need for something different than what they’d done last night, she hugged him to her and held him tight.

He held on to her for a long while, his own life raft in a stormy sea.

He touched her hair and felt for the pins that held it up. One by one he pulled them out, the long locks falling heavy over his wrist until every pin was gone. He ran his fingers through her hair then gently massaged her scalp. She let her head fall back and closed her eyes as his fingers worked their magic. A small moan escaped her.