Please Don't Take My Baby (12 page)

‘Welcome, welcome,’ I enthused, ushering her in. ‘You’re an angel!’

‘You bet,’ she joked. ‘I think I’ve got everything. Shall I leave the bags here in the hall for now?’

‘Yes please. I’ll sort them out later. Coffee?’

‘Just a quick one. After I leave you I’m going to drop the coat I’ve bought for Courtney in to Rachel, so that she can get it to Jade this evening. She’s visiting Jade at the hospital after work. Has Rachel been in touch about the arrangements for tomorrow?’ Jill asked, following me into the kitchen.

‘All I know is that Jade is being discharged at one o’clock,’ I said, filling the kettle.

‘OK. I’ll tell you what’s happening,’ Jill said. ‘You won’t have to go to the hospital to collect Jade and the baby, as Jackie’s going. Jackie wants to be involved and will go to the hospital straight from work. She’ll take with her the baby things they have at home – first-size clothes and nappies. She should be there soon after one o’clock and then Jackie, Jade and the baby will come here in a cab. Jackie would like to see Jade settled in and I told Rachel I thought that would be fine with you.’

‘Yes. So I guess they’ll be here about 1.45?’ I said.

‘I would think so.’

‘I’ll have to leave just before three to collect Paula from school. I assume it’s OK to leave them here alone?’ I passed Jill her mug of coffee.

‘Thanks. Yes. If you’re comfortable with that?’ I nodded. ‘Although Jackie will be here with Jade tomorrow, there will be times – like when you do the school run – when Jade and Courtney will be left alone. That’s fine. Jade needs supervision and support but you’re not expected to be here with her the whole time.’

‘I understand,’ I said.

Jill took a sip of her coffee and her gaze fell on the sterilizing unit I’d put ready on the work surface. ‘It’s strange seeing that in here again, and the pram in the hall,’ Jill said. ‘How do you feel about it all now?’

‘OK, I think.’

‘You’ll be fine,’ Jill reassured me. ‘And remember, if you have any concerns or problems don’t hesitate to contact the agency.’

‘I will. I’m sure I’ll be fine once Jade and Courtney are here. As with any new child, it’s the waiting that makes you nervous.’

Jill finished her coffee standing in the kitchen as she was in a rush and called goodbye to Adrian and Paula on her way out.

After we’d had dinner Adrian and Paula came with me upstairs to Jade’s now tidy bedroom and helped me assemble the cot and then make it up with the new bedding Jill had brought. Paula then disappeared into her bedroom and returned with one of her small soft toys, which she placed in the cot.

‘That’s a present for Courtney,’ she said. ‘I hope she’s happy here.’

‘I’m sure she will be, love,’ I said. ‘That’s very sweet of you.’

While Adrian remarked dryly: ‘Jade’s room is next to mine. I hope I don’t hear her baby bawling all night.’

‘I’m sure you won’t,’ I said, for Adrian had slept through thunderstorms that had woken Paula and me.

While Adrian played on his Nintendo, Paula, eager to see what Jill had brought, helped me to unpack the bags and put away their contents: the baby bath oil in the bathroom with the baby flannel and sponge; the lotion, nappies and wipes in Jade’s bedroom; the bottles in the sterilizer; and the formula in the kitchen cupboard.

Later when the children were in bed I read the instructions on the packet of formula to remind myself how to make up a bottle of formula. I also placed the changing mat on the table in Jade’s bedroom with the nappies, wipes and cream within reach. The table usually doubled as a desk for older children to study at but would now be a baby-changing station. By the time I’d finished I felt I was as prepared as I could be, and before I settled on the sofa to watch some television before bed I phoned my parents and brought them up to date with the news: that Jade had had her baby and I would be looking after both of them for a few weeks.

‘How wonderful, a little baby!’ Mum cried, delighted. ‘And will we be able to see them both when we visit you on Sunday?’

‘Yes, of course. They’ll be here.’

‘Fantastic. I’ll tell your father.’ And I knew that when my father saw the baby he would be just as enthusiastic as my mother was.

The following afternoon I had been looking expectantly from the front-room window on and off for about twenty minutes when I finally saw the mini-cab arrive. I was out the front door before the driver had switched off the cab’s engine. Arriving on the pavement, through the window of the cab I could see Jade with Courtney on her lap; ideally she should have been in a car seat, but no one had thought to take one. Jackie was sitting on the seat beside her.

‘Oh, isn’t she beautiful!’ I gasped, gazing at Courtney as Jade opened the cab door. ‘Well done, love.’ I kissed her cheek. ‘Congratulations. You have a lovely baby. She’s beautiful.’

‘Hi, Cathy,’ Jackie said.

‘Congratulations, Jackie. You’ve got a lovely grand-daughter.’

‘Thank you.’

I helped Jade out of the cab as Jackie paid the driver. Courtney was indeed a lovely baby, really cute, and without the redness that newborn babies often have. Her tiny features were relaxed in sleep and seemed even cuter under the little white hat she was wearing. She was dressed warmly in the zip-up suit Jill had bought, and a shawl Jackie had presumably brought from home.

‘You go on in with Courtney,’ Jackie said to Jade. ‘I’ll bring the bags.’

Jade took a couple of steps towards the garden gate and grimaced, so I guessed she was sore from the birth. ‘Can you carry her in?’ Jade asked, holding Courtney out to me.

‘Yes, of course, love,’ I said.

I carefully took the precious bundle in my arms and holding her close followed Jade slowly up the garden path. I could smell that lovely newborn-baby smell and I couldn’t help but kiss Courtney’s little cheek. Jade took off her coat and threw it over the hall stand, and then continued into the sitting room. I left the front door open for Jackie, and carried Courtney into the sitting room.

Once Jade was comfortably settled on the sofa I placed Courtney in her arms. Jade looked at her and then up and around the room; she seemed overwhelmed, which was hardly surprising with everything that had happened since she’d last been in this room.

‘It’s bound to seem strange at first,’ I said. ‘Your body has been through a lot and will need time to recover. I’m here to help you all I can. You know you’re staying with me for now?’ I asked, and she nodded. ‘Would you like to take off Courtney’s coat?’ I suggested. ‘It’s warm indoors.’

Jade looked at me and then at Courtney but didn’t move. ‘Undo the zip and take out her arms first, and then her legs,’ I said. ‘It’s easier to do it that way round.’

Jade began sliding down the zipper of the all-in-one coat and then awkwardly took Courtney’s arms out of the sleeves, and then her legs. Courtney screwed up her face but didn’t wake or cry. ‘Well done,’ I said to Jade, and helped her slide the suit from under Courtney. As with many procedures in caring for a baby, Jade would find it became easier with practice, so that before long she would have Courtney in and out of the suit in no time, and without disturbing her if she was asleep.

‘Shall I take these baby things up to Jade’s bedroom?’ Jackie called from the hall.

‘Yes, if you like,’ I said, going to meet her. I thought Jackie would probably like to see Jade and Courtney’s bedroom. ‘I’ll show you where it is.’

I led the way upstairs and to Jade’s room. ‘It’s not very big,’ I said apologetically as we entered. ‘But Rachel said it would be fine short term.’

‘It’s nice,’ Jackie said pleasantly, placing the carrier bags on the bed. ‘You’ve got a lovely home.’

‘Thank you.’

‘It’s a lot bigger than my place. Although now Jade’s gone we’ve got a bit more space. Mikey and Danny are in her room now.’

I knew from the paperwork that Mikey and Danny were Jade’s younger brothers. While I could see the practicality in utilizing Jade’s bedroom straightaway I hoped Jackie hadn’t told Jade, for it seemed a bit insensitive to move them in so quickly, as though Jackie couldn’t wait to get rid of Jade. But Jackie continued: ‘I’ve told Jade I’m boxing up her things and I’ll store them until she has a place of her own.’ By ‘a place of her own’ I assumed Jackie meant a council flat, but this too seemed a little premature, for when Jade left me it would be to go to a mother-and-baby foster home, where she could stay for a year or more while a parenting assessment was completed. Only if Jade demonstrated adequate parenting and was allowed to keep her baby would she be eligible for social housing – as a single mother.

We returned downstairs, where Jade was on the sofa with Courtney still asleep in her arms. ‘Would either of you like a drink?’ I asked Jade and Jackie.

‘Orange, please,’ Jade said.

‘No thanks,’ Jackie said. ‘I’ll need to be off soon.’

I went into the kitchen and poured Jade’s drink, and then returned to the sitting room. Jackie and Jade hadn’t spoken in my absence and although Jackie was sitting next to Jade on the sofa looking at Courtney I sensed an atmosphere.

Presently Jackie said to me: ‘Ty phoned me. I think he might be coming over later.’

‘That’ll be nice,’ I said to Jade. ‘Was he with you during the birth? I saw him arrive as I was leaving the hospital.’

Jade shrugged. ‘I guess so. Sort of. I was out of it with that gas and air.’

‘He was in the room, some of the time,’ Jackie said. ‘Although he wasn’t much use. Just as well you can rely on your mother,’ she added, turning to Jade.

Jade didn’t reply or look at her mother and again I sensed an atmosphere. There was a small silence as Jade drank her orange juice and then Jackie stood. ‘Well, I best be off, then. The bus takes ages.’

‘I’m sorry I can’t offer you a lift,’ I said, also standing. ‘But I wouldn’t be back in time to collect Paula.’

‘No worries,’ Jackie said. ‘I’m used to the buses.’ Then to Jade: ‘See you soon. You know where I live.’

Jade frowned and looked annoyed. ‘I can’t go on the bus yet, can I?’ Which was a fair comment.

‘I could take you to see your mum in the car one afternoon,’ I suggested.

‘Or I’ll get a cab,’ Jade said.

‘We’ll sort something out,’ I said to Jackie.

Jackie said goodbye, kissed Courtney’s forehead but didn’t hug or kiss her daughter. I saw Jackie out and then returned to the sitting room, where I sat on the sofa next to Jade. Courtney gave a little yawn and my heart melted.

‘She’s certainly a lovely baby,’ I said. ‘Do you think she looks like you or Tyler?’

‘Dunno. Can’t really tell,’ Jade said.

‘No,’ I agreed, smiling. ‘People often see a family likeness in a newborn baby but it’s very difficult to tell. I couldn’t see any likeness in Adrian or Paula until they were about three months old.’ Courtney yawned again and then stretched as though she might be waking and I wondered if she was due for a feed. ‘When did you last feed her?’ I asked.

‘Just before we left the hospital,’ Jade said. ‘I’m using bottles. I’m not breastfeeding.’

‘I know.’ I glanced at the clock. ‘Courtney shouldn’t need feeding again until after I’ve returned from collecting Paula from school,’ I said. ‘But if she does, everything you need is ready in the kitchen. If you come with me I’ll show you. I’ve made up some bottles ready, and then later, when we have more time, I’ll show you how to prepare the formula.’

‘All right,’ Jade said without moving, and then suddenly burst into tears.

‘Oh, love,’ I said. ‘What’s the matter?’ I instinctively put my arm around her shoulders to comfort her.

‘It’s her!’ Jade said, nodding towards the sitting-room door her mother had gone out of.

‘Your mum?’

‘Yes. D’you know what she’s done? She’s packed away all my things and given the boys my room. I’m homeless now.’

‘You’re not homeless, love,’ I said, hugging her. ‘Try not to upset yourself. Your mother mentioned to me your brothers were sleeping in your old room. I think she was desperate for the space.’

‘I know but I haven’t got anywhere to go now,’ Jade cried. ‘I bet they’re all a lot happier without me. I always caused them problems.’

‘That’s not true,’ I said, holding her close as she cried. ‘Your mum loves you. And you have a home here with me for now.’ But of course I could appreciate how Jade felt. I’d thought Jackie had acted prematurely and insensitively in packing up Jade’s bedroom so quickly, and having just had a baby Jade would be more emotional than normal and would feel the rejection more deeply.

I comforted Jade and reassured her as best I could, while Courtney, bless her, slept on. I also told Jade that now she and her mother were living separately they would probably get along a lot better, and Jade agreed. After a while Jade wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Then, mindful that I needed to leave soon to collect Paula from school, I took Jade into the kitchen, where I showed her where the made-up bottles were in the fridge and explained how to heat one and test it was at the right temperature.

‘If Courtney needs changing while I’m out, everything you need is ready in your bedroom,’ I said. ‘But she’s fast asleep now, so hopefully she’ll wait until I come home. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

‘Thanks, Cathy,’ Jade said, and gave a small, sad smile. I felt sorry for her; she looked so lost and out of her depth. I knew she was going to need a lot of help and support during the first few weeks.

I was away from the house for only half an hour but as soon as Paula and I stepped into the hall we heard Courtney screaming upstairs, together with Jade crying. Then to my surprise Tyler suddenly appeared on the landing.

‘I’m glad you’re back!’ he cried. ‘Come and help, quick! We need your help.’

Without taking off my coat or shoes I ran upstairs and into Jade’s room.

‘She won’t stop crying,’ Tyler said anxiously. ‘Jade’s tried to feed and change her but she can’t. We don’t know what to do.’

Courtney was lying on her back on the changing mat with her little face screwed up and her mouth wide open in an almost continuous cry. Her nappy was off and Jade was standing at the foot of the changing mat with a nappy in one hand and a full bottle of milk in the other, also in tears.

‘Dear me, what a noise,’ I said gently, going over and stroking Courtney’s cheek. ‘What’s the matter, little one?’

‘She won’t stop crying,’ Jade blurted. ‘She began just after you left and she hasn’t stopped.’

‘Don’t worry. She’s probably hungry,’ I said calmly.

‘I tried feeding her,’ Jade said. ‘But she wouldn’t suck, so I thought she needed changing, but I can’t do the nappy. She won’t stop screaming.’

Clearly Jade (and Tyler) had panicked, which was understandable given the noise Courtney was making and that they were inexperienced parents. My instinct was to pick up Courtney but I didn’t want to take over, as that could have undermined Jade’s confidence even more. ‘Let’s get her nappy on first,’ I said to Jade, as I stroked Courtney’s forehead to soothe her. ‘Open the nappy so it’s completely flat and slide it under her bottom.’

I held up Courtney’s legs to make it easier for Jade, and she slid the nappy into place and then secured it with the sticky fastening tabs, while Tyler stood watching.

‘It’ll be your turn to change a nappy next,’ I said with a smile. Jade sniffed and managed a smile too.

‘Now put her babygro back on,’ I said to Jade. ‘Newborn babies often cry when you change their nappies or take off their clothes. It’s nothing to worry about; they just don’t like the feeling. They soon get used to the routine.’

Courtney whimpered a little but didn’t cry as Jade finished dressing her.

‘Excellent,’ I said. ‘Now let’s wrap her in the shawl so she’s nice and warm.’ I placed the shawl in Jade’s arms and then lifted Courtney off the changing mat and laid her in the shawl; then I helped Jade wrap the shawl around Courtney. ‘Good,’ I said. ‘Well done. Now sit on the bed with Courtney in the crook of your arm so you are both comfortable and you can feed her.’

Jade did as I suggested and I picked up the bottle, checked the milk was still warm and that it was flowing through the teat by shaking a little on to the back of my hand, and then passed the bottle to Jade. She put the teat to Courtney’s mouth but Courtney didn’t take the teat – or latch on, as it’s known – and, frustrated, screwed up her face as though she was about to cry again.

‘See!’ Jade said, immediately losing confidence. ‘That’s what she does!’

I sat beside Jade on the bed and placed my hand over hers and the bottle, as Courtney reddened with frustration at not being able to feed. ‘Try this,’ I said, and I guided the bottle so that the teat brushed against the side of Courtney’s mouth rather than trying to push it between her lips. Feeling the teat Courtney instinctively opened her mouth, searched for the teat and latched on.

‘Success,’ I said as she suckled and Jade finally relaxed. ‘A nurse showed me that trick when I had Adrian. Brushing the corner of the baby’s mouth with the teat, or nipple if you are breastfeeding, seems to stimulate a reflex action.’ I smiled at Jade. ‘Now enjoy feeding her. Hold her close so she can feel the warmth of your body and you can feel hers. I’ll be back in a minute to show you how to wind her. All right?’

Jade nodded and I left her feeding Courtney with Tyler looking on, while I went downstairs, took off my shoes and coat and went to find Paula. She was in the sitting room, kneeling on the floor and stroking Toscha. ‘It’s OK,’ Paula was saying soothingly to our cat. ‘Mummy knows what to do. Baby has stopped crying now.’ I thought that Courtney’s screaming, together with Jade’s crying, Tyler’s panicked shouting and me rushing upstairs, had frightened Paula.

‘Jade and Courtney are all right now,’ I confirmed. ‘Would you like to come up and see Courtney?’

Paula nodded and, leaving Toscha, slipped her hand into mine and we went upstairs. Tyler was sitting on the bed next to Jade as she fed Courtney. They both looked up and smiled at Paula.

‘Hi, Paula,’ Tyler said. ‘How are you?’

Paula nodded shyly.

‘Would you like to see my baby?’ Jade asked, far more relaxed and confident now Courtney was happily feeding.

Paula stood beside Jade and watched Courtney feeding, mesmerized. Indeed we all were, for there is something enthralling about a newborn baby feeding: completely engrossed, Courtney was the epitome of contentment, as all her needs were being met.