Playing With Pleasure (21 page)

Ashley gaped at her mother as if she’d lost her mind. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am.”

Ashley laughed caustically. “Not gonna happen. I have nothing to apologize for.” With one last enraged look at Paige, she stormed from the study and slammed the door hard behind her, making both Melissa and Paige wince as the walls reverberated with her anger.

Melissa came toward Paige, looking so beautiful in her vintage wedding gown but so incredibly despondent, too, on a day that should have been filled with joy and new beginnings.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t see this sooner,” Melissa said, her contrition shining in her eyes. “That I didn’t realize Ashley was treating you so badly, and for so long. A lot of this is my fault, too.”

Paige didn’t say it was okay but nodded instead to acknowledge her apology. Melissa pulled her into a warm hug, the kind that Paige could still remember her own mother and father giving her. The kind that was filled with affection and love and security.

It had been a long time since Paige had felt sheltered and secure, and she luxuriated in the moment, knowing and believing that Melissa did love her.

S
awyer waited anxiously
for Paige to return to the reception. As soon as she walked out of the house and he saw her expression, filled with more pain than he’d ever seen on her face before, he knew he had to get her out of there. Even though Kendall had driven Paige to the wedding and reception, Sawyer insisted on taking her home. With Jase remaining behind, Darren had generously allowed Sawyer to leave an hour before his shift ended.

In the car, Paige gave him a quick summary of what had happened in the house with Melissa and Ashley, then she grew quiet on the rest of the ride home. While Sawyer wasn’t surprised about Ashley’s angry exit, he was extremely grateful that Melissa had come to realize how badly her daughter had hurt Paige, and for so many years. And Melissa didn’t even know half of what Ashley was capable of, or even the fact that Ashley had drugged and slept with him as some kind of vendetta against Paige.

So many nasty things had obviously been said out on that terrace by Ashley, long-ago secrets spilled that made him wonder at the depth of Ashley’s bitterness and hatred toward Paige. During that confrontation, he hadn’t been able to see Paige’s face because she’d been standing in front of him, but he’d felt her body shake when Ashley had thrown out the insult about someone named Zach. Clearly, whatever had happened with this guy had affected Paige greatly.

He got her up to her apartment and inside, and was grateful when she didn’t ask him to go home, because he didn’t think he could leave her alone tonight, not like this. She looked so desolate, so incredibly wiped out by all that had transpired, and he just wanted to take care of her. Love her. If she’d just let him.

In her bedroom, he unzipped her now ruined dress and helped her out of it, then made her sit down so he could take off her heels and stockings. She wanted a shower, and even though he knew she was fully capable of doing everything herself, he didn’t want to leave her side. He turned on the water to heat it up while she took off her bra and panties, and once she was inside the shower, he went back into her bedroom, tugged off his bow tie, and removed his tuxedo jacket, then his dress shoes and socks.

He stripped out of his shirt and took off his belt but left his pants on. Tonight wasn’t about getting naked and having sex. It was about caring for Paige’s emotional needs, especially when she seemed so lost and alone.

As soon as he heard the water turn off, he returned to the bathroom with a clean pair of her panties and a sleep shirt he’d found in her drawer. He held open a big, fluffy towel to wrap around her as she stepped out of the glass enclosure. He dried her off and dressed her but left her hair pinned up because it was easier for now.

He pulled down the covers and settled onto Paige’s bed and made room for her beside him, and she didn’t hesitate to climb up onto the mattress and curl up to his side. Her head rested in the crook of his arm, and she wrapped an arm around his waist, as if he were her anchor in the storm that had just blown through her life. He wanted to be that for her. Always.

There was something Sawyer needed to ask Paige. Something he needed to know and understand. “Paige, what happened with Zach?” The guy who Ashley had insinuated had slept with Paige, then dumped her. But Sawyer had a feeling there was a whole lot more to the story.

Paige stiffened against his side. It was clearly an unpleasant subject for her, and he waited patiently for her to answer, or not. If she didn’t want to tell him, he’d respect her choice and just hope that she’d open up to him in the future, because he certainly wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Zach was a guy who dated me my junior year of high school,” she finally said quietly. “He was good-looking, popular, and I was naive enough to believe that he really liked me. After we went out a few times, he pressured me into sleeping with him. I was a virgin, he was persuasive, and I gave in.”

Sawyer stroked his fingers along Paige’s bare arm. His stomach churned, and he braced himself for the worst, because he knew there was more coming.

She rubbed her cheek against his chest, and he felt her swallow hard. “The next day at school, Zach wouldn’t look at me or talk to me. He acted like I didn’t even exist.”

Her voice was flat, emotionless, even though Sawyer knew how painful that memory had to be.

“When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he didn’t like fat chicks, and the only reason he’d slept with me was because Ashley paid him to.”

Fuck.
Sawyer willed his body not to tense, but the rage inside of him felt like a pressurized volcano threatening to erupt. He could easily imagine her pain, her humiliation, her devastation.

But destroying Paige’s self-esteem was what Ashley did best, and because she’d been doing it for so many years, she’d set the stage for Paige’s ongoing insecurities—about herself, her body, her self-worth. Was it any wonder that Paige had trouble trusting a guy’s motives when it came to liking her or dating her?

He didn’t need to hear any more about Zach. Didn’t
want
to hear any more. But there was something important he needed to tell Paige. He came up on his side so he could look down at her, so he could look into her eyes, which were much too somber and sad after everything that had happened tonight, so stripped of any joy.
Defeated
. Sawyer refused to let Ashley crush what he’d worked so hard to build these past few weeks with Paige.

“I love you,” he said with conviction and watched her lips part in startled shock. “You don’t need to say it back. That’s not why I told you.”

Her wide eyes stared up at him, and he hated that he couldn’t read her expression. But it didn’t matter what she was thinking; she just needed to listen and hear him.

“I needed to make sure that you know how I feel about you, so there’s no question in your mind going forward,” he said, his pulse racing wildly as he laid his heart and soul bare for her—the first woman who’d ever earned it. Deserved it. “I fell in love with you a year and a half ago that day you bought me my coffee and bagel, and never stopped. And loving you means that I won’t ever deliberately hurt you, that I’ll do everything in my power to protect you and keep you safe. I’ll always be here for you, through the good and the bad.”

Her eyes shimmered with tears, and her throat convulsed as she swallowed hard.

“You deserve to be happy,” he said huskily as he skimmed his thumb along her smooth jaw. “You deserve so much, and I want to give it all to you.”

She bit her bottom lip and managed to blink back the moisture pooling in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said, her voice sounding heartbreakingly shattered. Broken.

And it broke something inside of him, too, because there was nothing he could do to take away her pain, and he didn’t know what was going on in her head. She clearly wasn’t in any state to process his words or say them back.

He tucked her against his side, knowing tonight had stripped her emotionally, and he hated that once again he’d be out of town until next weekend. His biggest fear was that she’d have too much time to think, to climb inside her head and question everything he’d just said and tried to accomplish this past week with her.

Didn’t matter. He’d just put his feelings for her on the table, and now she’d have the space to sort all this out for herself. He’d have to trust and believe that she’d come to the correct conclusion, that what they had together, what he’d tried so hard to build between them, was real and true.

*     *     *

Paige was so
grateful that the next week was overwhelmingly busy and exhausting as she finalized everything for her debut runway show at the bridal expo. During the day, it was a nonstop whirlwind of putting the finishing touches on the corsets and planning for the upcoming show that had the potential of taking her business to the next level, and at night, she was so utterly exhausted she climbed into bed and literally passed out from mental, physical, and emotional fatigue.

Sawyer texted her a few times a day—usually just short messages that didn’t require a response, for which Paige was grateful. While his words and promises from last Saturday night were always in her mind, it was difficult to process any of her emotions when she didn’t even have time to breathe and wouldn’t until after the bridal event. And she didn’t even know if Sawyer was going to be there, since he hadn’t said anything about it.

The day of the runway show arrived, and with less than an hour to go until the presentation began, Paige’s stomach was a jumble of stressful, anxious knots as she finalized the corsets and accessories for each model, and made sure the hair and makeup team she’d hired gave each of the women the soft, romantic, sensual look Paige wanted.

Her girlfriends had arrived early to help in any way they could. Kendall was there with her camera, taking photos for Paige’s website, while Raina, Jillian, and Summer assisted the models with tying up their corsets and slipping into shoes and accessories. Stephanie, whose business was designing fantasy bedrooms, had decorated a gorgeous, stunning fantasy runway that rivaled a Victoria’s Secret TV special, minus the angel wings on the models.

“You’ve got a packed house out there already, Paige,” Stephanie said excitedly as she walked backstage, a huge grin on her face. “Standing room only in the back, and all the VIPs are in their seats anxiously awaiting the first look at your stunning new bridal collection.”

Paige’s stomach did another nervous flip at the thought of all the high-profile merchants she hoped to impress who were in attendance, awaiting a glimpse of her high-end corset designs. The VIP invitations she’d sent out to local upscale bridal shop owners had also included an invitation to an after-party meet-and-greet that Raina had insisted on setting up for Paige—with champagne, petite desserts, and the press in attendance, as well. Paige was confident that by the end of the show, when she had to speak, she wouldn’t be as frazzled and could actually promote her line intelligibly.

But first, she had to get through the show, and she sent up a little prayer that it went off without any glitches. She glanced at the watch strapped to her wrist. Thirty minutes until show time.

“Paige, I need to run out to my car and get a bigger memory card for my camera,” Kendall said, keys in her hand. “I’ll be back in ten minutes. I didn’t want you to think I ditched you,” she teased.

Paige smiled at her friend. “Wouldn’t have even crossed my mind,” she said honestly. Without question, she could always depend on these five wonderful women in her life to never let her down.

Kendall rushed out, and Paige did last-minute checks on the corsets on the models to make sure everything looked perfect on each one. She’d looked in on all the girls except Sarah, her one plus-size model slated to wear the show-stopper corset encrusted in Swarovski crystals, pearls, and delicate beading that had taken Paige months to make—the spectacular, grand finale haute couture corset meant to empower women of all sizes to embrace their curves.

Paige looked everywhere, but she couldn’t find Sarah, though she’d seen her earlier when she’d arrived. Paige hurried to the racks that had been delivered with all today’s runway outfits. As soon as she saw the most important piece of her collection hanging there in its clear plastic garment bag, untouched, her stomach lurched with nausea.

She couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out where the other woman had gone. Just then, Kendall came rushing back in, visibly upset as she headed straight toward Paige.

“What’s wrong?” Paige asked.

Kendall wrung her hands. “I just saw your model, Sarah, leave.”

“
What
?” Paige had to have heard her friend wrong.

Kendall’s lips pursed. “I was on my way out to the parking lot, and I saw her talking to your sister. I have no idea what was said, but I did see Ashley give Sarah something, and then Sarah went to her car and drove away.”

Ashley was here? Melissa had told Paige she wouldn’t make it today because she’d still be on her honeymoon with Darren, and Paige never thought that Ashley would be interested enough to show up. But that was
before
their confrontation last Saturday. Now? With Ashley seen talking to Sarah, the only reason Paige could think of for Ashley’s presence was that her sister intended to somehow sabotage her runway show.