Playing the Field: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel (26 page)

If it hadn’t, that said a ton about JP. “You came at this thinking that you knew what was best for everyone involved. When you didn’t, and you don’t. And you certainly don’t get to make parenting decisions for me.”

He stared at her hard, his jaw set tight. “Right. Because me trying to show you that I can make capable parenting decisions is such a horrible thing.” His gaze went cold. “Why were you hiding us from him?”

“Because he wasn’t ready!” And because telling Charlie made their relationship real. She wasn’t ready for real. “I knew this was going to happen.”

JP scowled. “What exactly did you know?” He raked a hand through his hair and paced a few steps away. He stopped and turned around, his gaze searching her face. “Is this fight because I talked about us moving in together?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The denial was instant.

His long, muscular legs ate up ground as he came back to her. “I scared you when I talked about it. I know I did.”

Emotion welled in her and she threw up her hand, declaring, “Of
course
you did! I’m a single mother, for God’s sake! You don’t just up and talk about moving in together after a few weeks. What the hell were you thinking? Why would you say something like that?” She’d wanted to ask him that from the moment he’d first mentioned it to her.

Pain flashed in the amber depths of his eyes and he jerked. “Because I’m falling for you, Sonny, that’s why!”

The world ground to a halt and everything inside her went still. “You’re what?”

His voice went soft. “I’m falling for you.”

She went from still to chaotic in a heartbeat. Emotions pumped through her with violent force, and that part of her she didn’t trust leapt up and started screaming at her to take Charlie and run away. Just run away and ignore everything that frightened her.

It was so, so tempting.

But she didn’t do it. Instead she reached down deep inside herself for control. “Do you swear you didn’t tell Charlie about us on purpose?”

He held out both hands palms up. “I didn’t tell him. Not like you think.”

She blew out a breath and tried to calm down, tried to trust him. “How did he find out then?”

“He’s a smart kid, Sonny. Maybe he just figured it out.”

The logic behind it made sense. Charlie was too damn smart for his own good sometimes. “Okay. You’re probably right.”

JP took a step toward her, his eyes dark and his voice soft. “Are you going to respond to the other thing I said?”

Not if she could help it. She wasn’t ready. She was way too wound up inside and unstable. “I don’t know what to say, JP.” Hopefully he’d let it be for now, until she’d sorted through her feelings.

He took another step. “You could say it back.” His voice was barely more than a whisper.

Right then she couldn’t do what he wanted, wasn’t sure if she ever could, so she stepped to the side and tried to put some space between them. When she did, her eyes landed on the magazine JP had been holding. “What were you looking at?” She asked and pointed to it, trying to change the subject.

All of a sudden his face went pale. “Sonny, wait. Don’t look at that. Let me explain—”

But it was too late. She’d already snatched the magazine off the rock and glanced at the cover. What she saw made her blood run cold. On the front page was a photo of her and JP from their day of tubing, kissing, and touching intimately on the riverbank, their private moment plastered across the front of a tabloid for all the world to see. The headline read:
BASEBALL STAR SCORES BIG OFF THE FIELD
.

Something inside her snapped. Oh, that was it. That was just fucking
it.

She couldn’t do this anymore. Taking a step in retreat, she waffled her hand between the two of them, still holding the magazine. “This was a mistake.”

His eyes narrowed to a terrifying degree. “Are you serious?” His voice was eerily calm.

Desperate to regain a measure of control, Sonny nodded. “I was foolish to think a relationship with you would work, that I could deal with who you are and your life. But I can’t.”

He stood there staring at her, his eyes hot and dark and angry. “So you’re just going to walk away from what we’re building together because of some goddamn gossip magazine?”

She turned to go find Charlie so they could leave and tossed the offensive thing on the ground. “That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

JP swore behind her. “Fuck. You’re making the wrong choice. We have something special happening here.”

It wouldn’t be the first time. She could make a whole blasted career out of them. When would she ever learn?

Leaving JP behind, she headed for her flip-flops in the grass by the house. Suddenly a thought occurred to her, and she threw up her hands. “Of
frigging
course!”

It was Saturday.

Everything bad in her entire life happened on that damn day. Holding her head up high, Sonny fought for composure as she spotted Peter nearby. Just what she needed. He’d witnessed the whole frigging thing.

He looked past her toward JP and shook his head as she stormed by. “Man, I gotta stop throwing parties.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

A
WEEK HAD
passed and JP was still mad. Damn her stubborn ass, he thought as he hung up his phone. Why wouldn’t she answer her cell? He’d been trying to call her for days now and she hadn’t picked up once. The woman was avoiding him like a pro.

As he walked into his kitchen at the crack of dawn in a pair of plaid boxers, grumpy from no sleep, he scowled and yanked open the refrigerator door. Didn’t she understand yet that he hadn’t done anything wrong? He hadn’t planted the fucking paparazzi. But you wouldn’t know it by the way that woman had tore into him, her anger cold and bitter. The way she’d looked at him, her eyes so remote, still made his blood freeze up. Who knew that she had that side to her?

Sonny went as cold as an Alaska January when she was mad.

JP grabbed the jug of Florida orange juice and slammed the refrigerator door shut. Twisting off the top with more force than necessary, he brought the half-empty jug to his lips and took a long, long drink. He’d been trying everything since their fight a few days ago to cool the fire in his gut. But he couldn’t do it because the fact was that he was just plain pissed off about the whole thing. He’d thought Sonny had more trust in him than that.

Apparently not though. She’d simply shut down when she’d seen that goddamn photograph. He had never seen a person climb back up inside themselves and shut down faster than Sonny Miller.

One minute she’d been warm and soft and present, and the next she’d been gone like the wind, staring at him with chilly, distant blue eyes. As if the intimacy they’d shared had done nothing to merit more from her than that.

“Damn!” JP slammed the orange juice jug on the counter. He
did
deserve more merit than that. And that was just what he was going to tell her.

Leaving the jug there, he stomped out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. Why was it always this way? Why did nobody see the rightness of a situation without him spelling it out for them?

Yanking open the top drawer on the bureau against the far wall that he shared with the neighbor, JP reached inside and pulled out a clean pair of socks. Through the wall he heard the Siamese next door begin to stir. Her yowling started slow and increased in volume and frequency until she was caterwauling like she was the last cat on earth.

Just frigging fed up with listening to that goddamn cat every minute of every day that he was home, JP pounded a fist against the wall and yelled, “Shut the fuck up!”

Miracle of miracles, the cat shut up.

Glaring at the wall for good measure, JP grabbed the rest of his clothes and headed to the shower. It wasn’t until the hot water was pouring over him that the stress released from his shoulders and he was able to see a glimpse of the silver lining he’d been taught by his parents to look for. Lathering his hands with soap, a few swipes of the suds, and he was rinsing clean.

Maybe since she wasn’t answering her phone he should hop on in his truck and go pay her a visit. It was so early that he’d be back in plenty of time for the game that evening. Besides, this was important. It was their future on the line.

It just sucked, though. With baseball he knew what he was capable of and that there was nothing he couldn’t do if he put his mind to it. Always a matter of determination, JP had the deeply ingrained knowledge that whatever the sport threw his way, he would come out on top.

But this. This was different.

There were so many moving parts and Sonny was a real live person with feelings. His hard-nosed persistence was all he had to use with her. JP closed his eyes as he tipped his head to the ceiling and felt the spray massage his shoulders. With any luck that would be all he needed.

Because the fact was he couldn’t change who he was. He couldn’t change the fact that people knew his name. In all honesty he didn’t want to, even if he could. Ever since he was a kid, he’d dreamed of being a famous baseball player. Granted he hadn’t envisioned how much of an annoyance paparazzi could be, but then again he hadn’t expected to fall in a love with a woman so hell-bent on keeping herself off the radar.

Maybe if he showed up at Sonny’s place she’d be ready to talk. Yeah. She was a logical person. Of course she’d be ready.

Eagerness jump-started his pulse and he finished his shower quickly. That had to be it. She wasn’t answering her phone because she felt silly for overreacting. All she needed was a little face time with him and everything would be set back to rights.

In much better spirits by the time the shower was over, he dressed and headed back down stairs just in time to catch the tail end of his phone ringing. Thinking it had to be Sonny, JP leapt over the banister and fell the few feet onto the wood floor barefoot.

As soon as he touched the smooth surface he dashed to the kitchen and snagged his phone. “Hello.” Anticipation had him short of breath.

“Well now, what has my kid brother been up to that’s made him so out of breath?” Damn. It wasn’t Sonny. It was his brother Ray.

“Not the fun stuff that you were imagining, I can guarantee you that.” If he didn’t make up with her soon there wouldn’t be any more fun stuff in his future. And that thought was hugely depressing.

His brother chuckled quietly. “Why, do you have an infant wreaking havoc on your sex life like I do?”

Ray’s wife Breana had given birth to their daughter six months ago, and the lack of sex had been a frequent topic of commiseration. JP figured that Ray should be satisfied right now with getting anything beyond a testy “Don’t touch me,” but that was just him. What did he know about having a baby? Kids Charlie’s age were way easier to figure out.

“Why are you calling, Ray?” He was happy to hear from his brother, but when he called JP, there was usually a reason. Chatting for the sake of hearing their own voices wasn’t something that the Trudeau boys were big fans of doing.

A muffled sound came over the line and a baby cried in the background. He could hear his brother cooing to his little girl for a minute or two before he said to JP over the airwaves, “I wanted to talk to you about Mom and Dad’s upcoming anniversary. Do you know if you’re going to be able to make it?”

JP shook his head like his brother was standing there in the room with him and could see. “I’m not sure. It all depends on what happens with the playoffs. As it stands, we’re in good shape to take the division title. If that’s the case then I won’t make it. Sorry.”

He hated knowing that too. It was their thirtieth anniversary. It was pretty damn significant. But if he couldn’t be there, at least he could send his mother a ridiculously expensive bouquet of flowers like he did last year when his team was in the postseason. Sometimes there were drawbacks to being a professional athlete. All the family events he missed were frustrating.

Ray cooed again and made his daughter giggle this time. “Keep me posted, all right? I’ve got this idea to send Mom and Dad on a thirty-versary to Ireland. You know how Mom has been hounding Dad to take her there for years. What do you think?”

He thought it sounded like a great idea. “Sounds good. If you guys can get it researched and organized, I’ll pay for it.”
That
was one of the perks of being a professional athlete. It did his heart good to know that he could take care of his family.

Ray chatted with him for a few more minutes. His oldest stepdaughter interrupted them with some tween drama that had unfolded at school recently and that she’d decided couldn’t wait until he’d gotten off the phone to share. JP smirked, thinking it funny that even though Ray had given up the farm life for the cushy benefits of the corporate capitalist way, his kids woke up early like they were in rural America instead of suburban Des Moines.

About to wind down the call, it hit JP that Ray was probably the perfect person to talk to about his situation with Sonny. Not that he was asking for advice really. It just might be nice to get some perspective from the guy who’d successfully dated and married a single mother. “Hey, Ray. Before you go I have something I wanted to run by you.”

It took a few minutes, but JP got the story out. When he was done the phone line remained silent. It stretched on long enough that he started wondering if the call had been dropped. Pulling the phone from his ears, he checked the reception and found four bars. “Are you still there, Ray?”

“Yeah.”

Impatience nipped him. “Then why aren’t you saying anything?”

Ray let out a long-suffering sigh. “Because I can’t believe that you actually told her son about your relationship without her consent. How big of a dumbass are you?”

Their relationship had been smeared across a tabloid and that’s what he was zoomed in on? “Focus, Ray. Charlie already knew. And that’s not the big deal.”

It didn’t take ESP to know that Ray wanted to punch him. He could hear it in his tone. “The
big deal
is your ego.”

That wasn’t the first time he’d heard that recently. Sonny had mentioned something a lot like it before she’d told him it was over. And it was so damn frustrating that it made him want to pull his hair out. “Fine. Okay. How did my ego cause this mess?”