Playing My Love (22 page)

  "Don't be
so fucking ridiculous!"

  "And anyway, it has nothing to do with you whatsoever!  It
's none of your business what I get up to!  You have no right to judge me!  Oh, do you know what?  Fuck you!"  I hung up, breathing heavily.  How had it escalated into such a row?  Why was she being so bloody unreasonable?  The phone rang in my hand.  I saw it was Jazz and ignored it before turning it off altogether.

  I stood up and paced the shed angrily, not quite knowing what to do with myself.  My eyes fell on my guitar.

  "Angry song, angry song"  I muttered to myself as I rummaged through the sheet music Darcy had printed off for me.  Unable to find something suitably angry, I went back into the house.

  "Gray?  If anyone other than Darcy calls, I'm not here.  No matter what the situation, or message…
and
especially
if it's Jazz."

  Gray looked up
from his laptop in surprise. 

  "Er…okay?  What have you both been fighting about now?"

  "Her narrow minded bigotry"  I said, borrowing Darcy's old insult.  Then I grabbed my laptop and lead before stalking back out to my shed.  Gray let me go, recognising when to leave me be.

  I searched through the songs in my library, finally settling on a Skunk
Anansie song called Twisted.  It seemed within my range of skills and was angry enough for my mood, and if I got it wrong I could just sing the song to vent!  I pursed my lips and got stuck in.

  How
dare
she?

  Although I didn't see Darcy for two weeks following our kiss, we spoke on the phone
almost every day.  Apparently, Sam had taken the news very badly and had begged her for just one chance to give their relationship another go.  Darcy didn't go into too much detail, but I could tell she was emotionally drained from dealing with it all, especially just before her final exam.  As a result of this she had absolutely no idea how it had gone, and just resigned herself to whatever will be, will be, rather than dwell on it too much.

  Jazz tried calling several times asking me to call her back, but I ignored all her messages.  Gray also tried to get me to call her, but I told him I wasn't ready to talk to her yet.

  So for two weeks I ached desperately for Darcy's company, but instead immersed myself in other tasks that needed doing.  I gardened, did some work on renovating the barn (and during one crazy moment, I found myself leaping from the top level onto the hay below!  I screamed as I fell, and screamed when I landed, because as Darcy had predicted, it actually did hurt!) I baked a lot of cakes (meant to be muffins, but they didn't rise so I pretended they were cakes!) and of course played my guitar.  Even if I said so myself, my playing was improving in leaps and bounds and I looked forward to showing Darcy how far I'd progressed.

  It was
a beautiful warm sunny day in the first week of July when her name flashed up on my mobile and I snatched it up excitedly.

  "Hey
, stranger!"  I gushed happily

  "Hey
, City Girl, how are you?"

  "I'm good!  Enjoying the sunshine in my hammock!  What're you up to?"  I didn't ask her how she was, knowing how much she hated the question.

  "Nothing actually.  I was sort of wondering if you wanted to meet up?  We could have a lesson, or just go for a coffee?"

  "Make it an ice lolly and it's a date!"  I said, then cringed at my choice of words.

  "Great!  Is now a good time?"

  "Never been a better time than right now!"

  "Okay!  Have you seen the beaches round here yet, cos if not, I can take you on a tour of the best private ones?"

  "Sounds amazing!  I'll
be there in about forty five minutes!"

  I struggled out of the hammock, a big cheesy grin on my face.  Gray was in his study, typing.

  "Honey?  I'm just going to see Darcy.  I'll probably be a few hours, if that's okay with you?"

  "Stay out as long as you like.  I'm going to take a nap in a bit anyway, so you might as well have dinner with her while you're out and make the most of the day."

  "Only if you're sure?"

  "
Absolutely."

  I leaned down and kissed his cheek.  But then, as I turned to leave, he caught my arm and stopped me.  Then he stood and gave me a long lingering kiss on the lips.

  "What was that for?"  I asked smiling.

  "Jazz told me to give you a nice big fat juicy kiss on the lips and to tell you she's really sorry, and please forgive her?"

  The smile froze on my face.  Was that supposed to be funny?  Her idea of a joke regarding my kissing Darcy?

  "I told you I didn't want any of her messages"  I said, yanking myself out of his arms.  "I'll see you later."

  By the time I got to my jeep, I was completely incensed by her insensitivity.  I was still furious with her, even two weeks down the line.  Every time I remembered the way she'd spoken to me, it set me off all over again.  No, I'd call her when I was ready, and not a moment before.

  It didn't take long for my mood to pick back up as I drove to Darcy's,
and I found a good radio station playing a mix of nineties anthems that were fun to sing along to.  When I arrived, I forced myself to walk at a normal pace to her front door, despite the urge to run!  I felt ridiculously giddy.  But when she answered the door in a cute little mini skirt and tight white t shirt, I suddenly came over shy.

  "Hi."

  "Hi."

  We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment, obviously both
wondering how to properly greet each other after the way we'd left things.  Then I stepped forward and gave her a warm hug and the awkwardness melted away.

  "It's so good to see you!  I missed you!"

  "I missed you too!  You're looking really well!  Slumming it in a hammock looks like it's doing wonders for you!"

  "I've kept myself busy, actually! 
The barn is nearly up to scratch, and I've dug up the whole garden!"

  "I thought you were going to leave the garden because you couldn't tell the difference between weeds and plants?"  Darcy asked, leading me through to the kitchen

  "Yes!  That's
why
I've dug up the whole garden!  Thought it might be best to start afresh with it.  I brought cake with me, if you want some?"

  "Sure
! Hey, Nicki, Alison brought us cake."

  "Ooh, she knows us so well!  So where have you been hiding?  Not seen you around here for a while?"  Nicki asked, filling the kettle.  I quickly glanced at Darcy
, an eyebrow raised in question.  She gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head.

 
Did you tell her what happened between us?

  No.

  "I've just been busy round the house.  We took on a lot when we bought it and it's just starting to take shape now, but it's been a lot of hard work."

  "That's something I've been meaning to ask.  Have you and Gray retired early or something?
  I mean, neither of you are working and yet you've moved from the city to the country…aren't you a bit young, or are you just filthy rich?"

  "We both decided to take a year out from the city and the stress of our jobs, and just relax for a while.  We had a lot of money saved up anyway, and the sale
from our apartment in London was more than double what we paid for our cottage, so we banked the leftover change.  I guess we just want to enjoy life while we can."

  Most of this was true, and was what I'd told Darcy long ago.  Nicki looked impressed.

  "Well, it's alright for some!  Wouldn't mind swapping places with you for a few months!"

  I changed the subject to their exams quickly,
and we ate some of my 'cake-muffins' with a mug of tea as we chatted, before Darcy pulled me off to her room so I could show her how far I'd got with my guitar.  The awkwardness returned briefly as I saw her bed, and felt a blush flood my cheeks at the memory of us on it.  I noticed she had gone quiet too.

  "So…why don't you sit down and get comfy.  It should already
be tuned…"  she said, taking her guitar from the stand by the head board.  I obediently sat down, sure she'd be impressed with the level I'd reached all on my own, but nervous nonetheless.  Her opinion meant a lot to me.

  I played through the songs I was most confident with while Darcy perched on her computer desk,
keeping her face neutral as she listened, watching my fingers on the strings.  Embarrassingly, I got frustrated with a section on Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here' that always seemed to catch me out, and it threw me off my rhythm.

  "Can you see what I'm doing wrong?  Because I just can't get from here
…to here smoothly and it's driving me crazy"  I asked, demonstrating the sticky part.

  "You learned this?  All by yourself?"  she asked, astonished.

  "Well, I spent a lot of time on Youtube, but yes.  Can you help me figure it out?"

  "That intro is really tricky!  I can't believe you even tackled
it!  Yes, I can see where you're going wrong, and it'll just be an adjustment of where you position your fingers.  Have you been sleeping with your guitar, Alison?"

  "I've just been practicing my fingering as much as I can before it becomes unbearable"  I said, without even thinking.  Darcy's eyes widened in amusement and she smirked at me.

  "Well, that's something I'd love to see"  she remarked, quirking an eyebrow naughtily.  I frowned, puzzled for a moment, before the meaning of what I'd said sank in.  I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand.

  "I can't believe I just said that!"

  "Just how long can you finger for before it becomes unbearable?"  she teased.

  "An hour, sometimes two if I'm lucky.  Depends how intense and passionate it gets!  How long can you finger for?"

  She nodded, impressed.

  "I always did love a woman who could finger with passion and intensity!"  she said, laughing, then leaned forward conspiratorially.  "Oh, and I can go all night!"  she added, winking.  I gasped again
in mock shock.

  "I can't believe
you
just said
that
!"

  "I know, I'm sorry!  You started it!"  she playfully shoved my shoulder and I shoved hers back, laughing.  It was more out of relief, I thought, that the tension had
gone, leaving us comfortable with each other again.

  "I actually did miss you, you know"  I said, sincerely.

  "It's really good to see you.  I'm sorry it took so long for me to pick myself up."  She came and sat next to me on the bed.

  "I understand why you needed the time.  How are you coping?"

  "Barely.  She calls me once or twice a day every day."

  I swallowed.
  I didn't know this girl on the other side of the planet, but I'd inadvertently broken her heart and ruined her life.  I felt awful.  Darcy saw my face.

  "Hey, don't feel bad.  It was
my choice to stay.  Although you were
incredibly
convincing in your argument to get me to stay, it was still my decision.  If I'd really wanted to go, I would have."

  "Thank you.  For staying."

  Our eyes met and warmth flooded through me.  I knew I wanted to hold her and kiss her and do all sorts of other things with her, but we couldn't.  I passed her back her guitar instead.

  "Play for me?"  I asked softly.  She took it from my hands and I got in a comfortable position to watch her.

  "I can tell by your eyes that you've probably been crying a river, and the stars in the sky don't mean nothing to you, they're a mirror.  I don't wanna, talk about it, but you've taken my heart, if I stay just a little bit longer, if I stay here will you listen, to my heart…"

  I was accustomed by now to Darcy's amazing
, and almost unconscious ability to tap into how she was feeling and find the perfect song with the perfect words (or words that she could adapt to suit) but I was still in complete and utter awe by her voice.  It was as if she was singing directly to my soul, every time.

  She went straight from that song into
Morcheeba's Never An Easy Way, then Norah Jones' Take It Back.  They were all haunting and melancholic and I felt where she was playing from, recognising her emotions being raw and painful.  But then she sighed and shook her head, and the next song she sang made me smile.

  "When I'm feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at you, then I'm not so blue…"

  Her phone ringing made me jump and she stopped abruptly.

  Ring, ring.

  "I'm just going to see who it is"  she said, although my cunning sixth sense could have told her exactly who it was.  She stood and picked the phone up from her desk, turning her back to me as she answered it.  "Hey…um, I can't really talk right now, I'm in the middle of giving someone a guitar lesson.  Yeah, I know…I just…"  her voice became more hushed and intimate.  "Please don't?  You know that's not true…of course I care…no, I can't!  Look, I'm gonna go, I'm sorry, I just can't do this right now.  Bye."