Playing for Kinley (Cruz Brothers Book 1) (22 page)

Parker was standing at the stove with his back to me, wearing flannel lounge pants and a long-sleeve thermal when I made it to the kitchen area. “Morning,” he said, turning to me with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Uhhgmmph,” was my mumbled response. My head was buried in my folded arms on the bar, so there was no telling what that word was supposed to be.

Parker chuckled, sliding a glass of orange juice and a couple of blue pills my way. “Take those and drink that.”

I did as he said, the juice already lubricating my cottonmouth. “How are you so chipper and lively this morning? You drank more than I did.”

He went back to stirring something in the skillet on the stove and pointed his spatula at me. “One, you’re kind of a lightweight and I’m a heavyweight champion. Two, I chugged some water right before I fell asleep last night. And three, I’ve never really had bad hangovers.” He glanced at me sympathetically and added, “Sorry. I should have made you take some pain killers before you fell asleep but I didn’t think about it.”

I blushed and lowered my gaze, knowing precisely why he wouldn’t have thought about it. I didn’t think about jack shit after that mind-blowing kiss last night.

I tried to shake my head, but the effort to do so was too much what with my brain rattling around up there. “It’s my fault. I don’t drink like that very often, so my tolerance was pretty low.”

He walked over to the counter and dumped some sausage patties onto a plate and then proceeded to douse them both with maple syrup. I watched him, completely perplexed and grossed out at the same time. I actually leaned back, not wanting to touch the offensive food, when he pushed the plate over to me.

“Best hangover cure ever. Trust me.”

I stared down at the disgusting-looking combination, doubt marring my features. “There are so many things wrong with this picture, I don’t even know where to start. Plus, my stomach couldn’t handle that right now anyway.”

He propped his hands on the counter and didn’t budge, just stared at me. “I promise it will make you feel better. The grease, mixed with the sweet and spicy of the sausage will work. I made this for Clay so many times in college, I’d take my word for it.”

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed my fork and started to dig in. “Fine, but if I get sick I’m going to make you clean it up.”

He dropped his chin in agreement. “Fair enough.”

After cleaning my plate, I actually felt somewhat human again. Parker sat on a stool next to me at the bar, having finished his own syrup sausage and scrambled eggs. He tried to push the eggs at me, but that really was taking it a little too far.

“Well, you were right. I do feel better.”

The look of smug satisfaction on his face should have annoyed me, but it somehow comforted me. “Told you. You’ll find I’m right about many things if you’d just listen to me.”

I rolled my eyes and lifted the mug of steaming coffee to my lips, savoring the feel of the hot liquid slide down my throat. That was sweet relief, that was.

“So, when do you have to go back to New York? Or are you going straight to another shoot?” he asked as he drank his own coffee.

The whole scene was strangely domestic for us, but oddly natural. After all we had been through, the two of us just sitting together eating breakfast and drinking coffee felt normal. Couldn’t explain that one.

“I’m going back to New York for a week or two. I’ve got some jobs around the city I’m going to do while I get prints ready for the gallery. What are your plans?”

“I’ve got to head down to Florida in two weeks for spring training. I’ll be there until the beginning of April, then back here for the regular season.”

Right. Because he was a major league baseball player.

It was actually easy to forget that sometimes when it was just me and him. It wasn’t like he acted like a million-dollar athlete or something. He was just the same Parker I’d known since I was a kid. And now I wasn’t the only person in the world vying for his attention, nor the only woman. The only times his celebrity status was really apparent was when I was in public with him and fans asked for his autograph.

Well, that and at his games. But I had never been to one of those.

Suddenly, I got a truly overwhelming desire to go to one. I wanted to support him, cheer for him, and make up for all the games I’d missed. Because even though we’d had a falling out, he was still one of the most important people in my life, and I felt guilty as hell that I never went to one of his games after we’d ended things. I should have been able to suck up my heartache and be there for him.

I’d just known that it would have been too painful.

So, I took the coward’s way out and never went.

“I can’t believe it’s already time for spring training,” I mused. “Time is going by so fast. It felt like it was Christmas just yesterday.”

He didn’t respond and I looked over at him to see if he heard me. He was staring at me with narrowed eyes and a somber look on his face, wheels turning behind his brown eyes. “What?”

“I’d really like it if you came to some of my games. I’ve missed having you there, Kin.”

The words broke my heart a little. He sounded like a little boy whose dog ran away. I knew how little his parents had paid attention to him growing up, especially his success in baseball. I knew how much it meant to him to have people he loved there, supporting him. Knowing that I’d missed out on all these years made me disappointed in myself. But more than anything, it just made me sad.

Sad that Parker and I had missed out on all those years together.

“I’d love to see you play.”

Hope blossomed in his eyes and his entire face lit up in excitement. I swear, this man was going to break me down completely until I was a quivering mess. “Really?”

I just nodded, memorizing the look of happiness on his face. It was that vulnerability that had first endeared me to Parker all those years ago. I’d been fascinated by the boy who had so many secrets, so much pain behind his eyes. As he grew older, his eyes hardened and his exterior became tougher, but I knew at the center of it he was still soft, still pliant. Part of him would always be that little boy who just wanted someone to love him.

He tried to hide his huge smile behind his mug but was unsuccessful. “Okay, great. Um, just tell me what games you’ll be able to make it to and I’ll make sure you have a ticket.”

My family, along with his brothers, shared season ticket seats at Fenway. Since everyone couldn’t make it to all of the games in Boston, the rotation schedule we used usually worked. Of course, I’d never worried about it because I’d never once used one of the tickets.

I was mentally going through my schedule over the next few months and remembered something. “Where is your spring training at in Florida?”

“Fort Myers. Why?”

“I have a photo shoot in Key West at a resort down there from March eighth through the tenth. I could probably just fly over to Fort Myers after I’m done, stay a few days and watch some of your games. Would that be alright?”

He slowly blinked at me, as if he couldn’t comprehend what I’d just said. For almost a minute, his face was just a blank mask and then finally started to take on actual expression again. The corners of his mouth ticked in a tentative smile, like he didn’t want to believe it and get too excited if what I’d said wasn’t true.

“You’d actually fly there to see me play?” The shock in his question made me want to cry for him.

I shrugged, fighting back the emotions swirling around inside my heart. “I’ll already be down there. Key West is just a quick flight away from Fort Myers, so it really wouldn’t be a problem. Plus, I’m sure you could use a cheering section, right?”

He nodded, swallowing slowly. “Yeah, I could. That would mean a lot to me.” The look in his eyes told me he was sincere.

“Well, you wanting me there means a lot to me.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we both lost ourselves in our own thoughts. I was dying to know what he was thinking about, but I was also okay with not knowing for now. After a while, he spoke again.

“We don’t have to talk about what last night meant if you’re not ready for it. If you don’t want to go there, I’m fine with it for now. But I want to make something clear before we go any further and especially before we’re apart from each other for another month.”

I turned to him, recognizing the seriousness in his voice. “What’s that?”

His brown eyes flickered to me, penetrating me with such ferocity that I almost gasped out loud, as ridiculous as that sounded. He just looked so strong and powerful when he had that domineering look in his eyes. It probably wasn’t the most appropriate time, but it was turning me on in a crazy way.

“If we’re going to do this, regardless of whether or not we’re defining it yet, I need to know that I’m the only man in your life. I’m serious, Kin. If we’re going to give ourselves a real chance this time, I need to know that I’m the only one getting that chance with you. I won’t be able to handle it if I think you’re seeing someone else.”

I had to admit that I was taken aback by this. Part of me wanted to be offended by it, but I also understood why he felt it necessary to say.

“Parker, I would never get involved with you if I thought there was even an idea of someone else. If I’m in this with you, I’m all in.” He let out a breath, as if he’d been holding it until he heard my response.

“But I need that promise from you, too,” I added. I waited until his eyes met mine again to continue. “I can’t imagine how crazy life can be for you, but I know that you have thousands of women throwing themselves at you wherever you go. I need to know that none of them are taking my place when we’re apart. I’d never be able to handle the thought of that.”

He smiled sweetly at me and pulled my bar stool closer to his until my legs were tucked between his thighs. He captured my face in his hands, just like he did last night, and pierced my green eyes with his brown ones.

“No one could ever replace you. Trust me, I’ve tried.” I frowned at that but he went on. “I mean, I’ve tried to find someone who made me feel the way you do and I’ve never met anyone who even came close.” That was better. “If you want me, you have me. All of me. I give you my word.”

My smile was so big it almost hurt. He couldn’t have said it any better. Though he did make it better when he brought his lips down to mine, crushing them in a hard, firm kiss that said so much more than words ever could. It said that I never needed to worry about him forgetting me when we weren’t together. It said that this thing between us was real—always had been—and that he was serious about making it work this time.

And it said that no one else would be kissing me like this while he was around.

I most definitely had to agree with that last one.

Nobody else on the planet could kiss like Parker Cruz anyway.

Parker

“You’re lookin’ pretty weak there, Cruz!” Corbins shouted over his shoulder as he walked to the bull pen.

I shook my head and grinned. “Might want to worry about your own shit, Corbins. I know how many times you missed your spot in the seventh yesterday. Moberly saved your ass.”

All the guys in the vicinity who heard me busted up laughing. Corbins mumbled something under his breath and kept walking because he knew I was right. We may have won last night but some of the guys hadn’t been on their game, Corbins and his pitching included.

I hit a couple more balls and then stepped away from the plate, allowing Moberly to step up and get his batting practice in. It was two hours before our evening game but the whole day had been a scorcher and the sun hadn’t let up yet.

Three weeks down in Florida might sound like heaven on earth to many Bostonians, but that’s only if you can spend every day on the beach. I loved this game, but there were days when sliding around in the grass and dirt, and ultimately sweating your balls off in the humidity was fun and days when it wasn’t. I’d handled it when I was a kid—didn’t even notice the weather most of the time when we played—but age made you notice a lot more things that you otherwise wouldn’t have when you were an idiot adolescent.

Despite the heat, though, playing with all these guys on a field again felt like coming home.

I loved our feeling of family and comradery, how close a lot of us were. We hadn’t had many trades the last couple of seasons. A new pitcher or power hitter here and there but we still had the same core group we had three seasons ago. Most of us were like brothers and like brothers, we busted each other’s balls constantly. Admittedly, it made me miss Mason and Dawson.

I had to wonder sometimes if that was part of the reason I’d gotten so into baseball when I was a kid. To be around people who didn’t care where I came from.

I mean, I loved the sport with my heart and soul—it was part of who I was. But I met Clay and he introduced me to baseball and then we became best friends. When he had me join his Little League teams growing up, I always made new friends. I could remember looking forward to every game because I would get to see all my buddies, the ones who didn’t care where I lived or how much money my parents didn’t make.

We were always just there to play baseball. They didn’t judge me for anything else.

And on that field, playing with the guys, I always felt like an equal.

I didn’t feel like trash, didn’t feel worthless.

Looking at the group of guys around me now, I knew nothing had changed. They never judged me for my past. Most of them didn’t have a clue about it anyway. They only saw me as the person I was today.

Moberly stepped up to the plate and took his stance, letting the pitcher know he was ready. “Glad you said it, man,” he said after he lobbed one out to left field. “He gets so hotheaded on the mound sometimes he won’t listen to me. He’ll act like he is but he isn’t.”

I stood off to the side, stretching my legs. “He’s young. He’ll learn. Especially when your old ass can’t chase all of his pitches anymore.”

He scoffed then laughed. “Please. This body’s going to be playing baseball when it’s fifty.”

I laughed and tried not to dwell on the truth. Moberly didn’t have that many years left in him, especially as a catcher, and we both knew it. Not that I had a ton of years left in me either, but he was much closer to retirement. It was going to be a hard day for both of us when he walked off that field. He’d become one of my closest friends over the years. At least he had his wife and kids to go home to once he hung up those cleats.

I wondered if I was going to have the same whenever I was done.

I guess a lot of that depended on Kinley and what she wanted. She hadn’t shown up to my games yet, but I knew that she was down in Key West right now for her photo shoot. I’d tried to not make it a big deal whenever I asked her if she was going to be able to make it over here. She’d said it depended on how the photo shoot went and wasn’t sure yet how it was looking.

That had been a huge blow, I had to admit.

I’d been looking forward to having her watch me play for weeks. Regardless of how juvenile it sounded, I was going to be crushed if she didn’t come.

“So, you expecting someone at these games or something?” Moberly suddenly asked.

I went for nonchalance. “What are you talking about?”

He stepped away from the plate for a second to adjust his batting glove, glancing at me before he crept back into the box. “I don’t know. You’ve just been looking up into the stands a lot during the games. I figure you’re either trolling for the night’s options or you’re looking for a specific someone.”

“Maybe you should be concentrating on your own game instead of checking me out.”

He laughed, nonplussed by the bite to my voice. I couldn’t deny that I’d been a little grumpy the past few days, impatiently waiting for Kinley to show up. “Man, my shit’s always on point. But I’m the catcher and I got to make sure everyone else’s is, too.”

“I was four for four last night,” I pointed out. “Does it look like my game’s been off?”

Hell no, it wasn’t. My bat had been on fire the past three weeks, thank you very much.

Moberly shook his head and smiled, hitting a line drive down the third baseline. “As sharp as ever, Cruz. Just wondering what’s going on inside my buddy’s head.”

Dammit, but this man knew me too well.

It wasn’t like I needed to unload my feelings to anyone like a woman. But I usually talked to Clay about whatever was bothering me and well, I couldn’t about this. Because this all had to do with his sister. And suddenly, I was desperate to get some of it off my chest.

“There is…someone I’ve been seeing.”

He immediately dropped his bat, left the batter’s box, and came straight to me, a cocky smirk on his face. “Knew it. Tell me everything. Who is she?”

Since Kinley had never been to any of my games, none of the guys knew her. But they knew Clay and they knew he had a sister, and if I told them her name, they’d know exactly who I was obsessing over. Granted, I knew I could trust these guys, too. If she showed up here, I’d have to explain her presence to the guys and her name was bound to come up. Plus, I wanted her to meet my teammates and vice versa; it would mean a lot to me. And if I asked these guys to keep our relationship to themselves, they would. No question.

“Keep it to yourself?” I asked him. Might as well come out with it. If she showed up, he’d find out anyway.

He nodded. “Sure.”

I took a deep breath and let it out. “It’s Kinley Masterson.”

His brow furrowed in confusion as he began to connect the dots. “As in…”

I nodded. “As in Clay’s younger sister.”

His eyes widened in understanding of my predicament. “Holy shit. Does he know?”

I shook my head, fearing the day he did find out because I had absolutely no idea how he’d react. “No. Nobody does. We haven’t said anything to anyone because we’re taking it slow and don’t quite know where it’s going yet.”

Moberly stood with his hands on his hips, looking out over the field, his expression thoughtful. “How long has it been going on?”

“We started talking again around Christmas, but our history is complicated.” His ears perked up and his head swiveled over to me, eyebrows raised in question. “We sort of had a thing while I was in the minors. It was brief but it was enough to make her hate me when I ended it.”

“Why’d you end it?”

I shrugged, questioning whether or not the reason made any sense to me anymore. “Got called up to the majors and she was young. About to be a senior in high school, for God’s sake. I didn’t want her to be throwing anything away because she chose to follow me around. She would have, too. She would have given up too much for me and I didn’t want her to do that.”

There were a few beats of silence before he spoke again. “Sounds like that should have been her choice, though, right?” He said it slowly, choosing his words carefully.

Again, I shrugged. “She was young and naïve and didn’t really know what she wanted. She wouldn’t have noticed what she was missing out on in life if I didn’t make her see it.”

“So, what happened after that?”

“I went to the Pirates for two seasons and then got traded to the Red Sox. She hated me after that so we didn’t speak for several years. Even while she was at college in Boston and we were in the same city most of the time. She avoided me at most of her family’s holidays, always leaving before I showed up or wouldn’t show up at all.”

“And now?” he asked. “I mean, what changed to make you guys start talking again?”

I ran my hands through my hair, trying to take stock of everything that had changed over the last few months. “We saw each other at the Fourth of July and then again in November at Clay’s election party. I don’t know, things just changed for me. I knew I made a mistake and I wanted to fix it. Realized I missed her. Plus, I was getting sick of all this sex with strange women bullshit.”

“Don’t let Corbins or Rodriguez hear you say that,” he muttered.

I chuckled, continuing. “So, I sort of switched gears on her at Christmas, let her know I was interested. When she pulled away, I just kept pushing. Eventually, it paid off and here we are.”

“But
where
are you two at?”

I laughed but it sounded rough. “Still figuring it out, I guess. Taking it slow. I’ve got a lot of ground to make up for. But we agreed to only see each other while we try to make it work.” I looked over to the stands, hoping I’d see her sitting there today. “She has a photo shoot down in Key West this week and she said she would try to make it over to see a game or two. Haven’t heard anything else about it, though.”

He nodded as if everything now made sense to him. Well, that made one of us. Love was a complicated emotion.

And nope, I was not going to tell him I loved her.

That was revealing too much.

“How do you think Clay will react when he finds out?”

The fact that I was keeping this huge secret from my best friend made me feel guilty as shit, especially since he hadn’t been the first person I talked to about it.

“Not sure,” I replied. “If things go the way I want them to, he’d have to accept it eventually. But I think he would know that I’d never hurt her.” Then I added, “Intentionally.” Because I already had hurt her once. Hopefully, Clay wouldn’t kick my ass for that one when he found out about it, though I would certainly understand if he wanted to.

“Well, good luck with that, then,” he said, slapping me on the back. “If it works out, I’ll be happy for you. Because settling down with the right woman? Trust me, it’s worth it. Believe it or not, I was one of the biggest man-sluts around before I met Ava. She set me right, though, and I couldn’t be happier.”

“You mean you actually got more than one woman to sleep with you? I thought Ava married you out of pity.”

He rolled his eyes and punched me in the arm, making me laugh. “Shut up, asshole. I’m just saying that if you think it’s right with Kinley, you need to go for it. You only get so many chances in life with a woman like that.”

And didn’t I know it.

I’d already wasted one.

I was lucky to even have a second one and I sure as hell wasn’t going to waste it.

I shoved him back toward the batter’s box. “Get back to work, man. After your hitting performance yesterday, pretty sure you need it.”

“Screw you,” he sneered.

“Having kids has really tamed you. Can’t even find the appropriate cuss word anymore?”

He gave me a look, followed by the finger. “
Fuck
you.”

I nodded, grinning. “Better.” I started to walk away and then turned back to him. “Hey, keep this between us for now, okay? I mean, if she shows up the rest of the guys are going to find out. But I’d rather them not hear the whole story. Or have Clay find out before I can tell him myself.”

He nodded, all joking aside. “Got it. She shows up, I’ll let the guys know.”

“Appreciate it.”

An hour and a half later, we were all suited up and warming up on the field, throwing the ball around and getting loose. The stands were filling up and the sun was beating down strong on us. Just as I did before every game, I went off on my own to do some agility exercises for my knee that I learned in physical therapy. It didn’t give me much trouble most of the time, but I also didn’t want to increase the chance of tweaking or pulling something with it just because I didn’t properly work it out before the game.

After I was done, I jogged over to second base where some of the infielders stood in a small huddle, talking to each other and looking up at the stands.

“Not the best time to be measuring dicks, gentlemen,” I said, stopping to stand next to them. “What the hell are you talking about that you found more important than earning your paycheck?”

Rodriguez nodded over to the stands. “
That
. Fourth row up, behind home plate. Brunette. Sorry, but I find a body like that pretty important.”