Playing For Keeps (13 page)

“Fresh waffles.”

“Is there a diner around here that delivers?” Jake asked hopeful y.

“Wouldn’t count.” Samantha took pity on him and instructed him on the finer points of batter making. She pul ed out the waffle iron when footsteps sounded down the hal .

Hannah came into the kitchen wearing a ratty nightshirt and took one look at Jake and jumped back out, yel ing, “What are you stil doing here?”

Jake went to the door and pul ed Hannah back in. “Making breakfast for us.” He nuzzled her neck.

“No, let me go. You can’t see me like this.” Hannah tried to wiggle her way out of his grasp.

“Like what?”

“Oh, please--”

“Please what? Please take you back to bed? Okay.” Jake lifted Hannah up and walked out of the kitchen.

“No. Wel … ”

She heard Hannah’s giggles as they disappeared down the hal way. Samantha smiled. Jake was doing just fine.

Her cel phone rang. She checked the screen. Ryan. The erotic dreams from last night flooded back into her memory. But fal ing asleep inside the dream after making passionate love, she awoke in the cel , and it wasn’t the Marines who saved her this time, it was Ryan. She was a bit unsettled by the dream, afraid of what it meant.

The cel twil ed again. What did he want at nine a.m.? Probably, the same thing she wanted last night but was too afraid to ask - too afraid to admit.. She briefly thought about not answering it.
Chicken.
Besides, she real y wanted to hear his voice. “Hel o.”

“You didn’t use my quote.”

She thought he didn’t read the papers. “It wasn’t newsworthy.”

“In fact, I’m hardly mentioned at al .”

“Did I bruise your ego?”

“I had the game of my life and al you can say is, and I quote, ‘Terel scored three touchdowns and caught ten passes.’”

“I believe my facts are correct.”

“Burner got 2 paragraphs, Mil er even got one, and I get one lousy line.”

“Just because we slept together doesn’t mean you’re going to get extra space in my column.”

“Is that what you think I’m after?”

“Wel , if it isn’t, then what’s wrong?”

“It’s like you’re going out of your way not to write about me.”

That was exactly what she was doing. Samantha had rewritten the column a dozen times. Sticking to the hard, cold facts of his play kept the flowery praise from creeping into her prose. People would read between the lines and know they slept together. “You’re imagining it.”

She pul ed the phone away from her ear and stared at the phone in disbelief. He was laughing? “What the hel ’s so funny?”

“There are better things to imagine,” he said in a low voice that left no doubt to what he was visualizing.

Images of what already happened between them flashed in her mind. She blushed but he couldn’t see that. “So long as you don’t cross the line into reality.”

“It’s you who’s not dealing with reality.”

Was he talking about them or Iraq? It didn’t matter; denial was a safer state of mind.

After Iraq, Samantha vowed she’d never go near another hospital again. As a war correspondent, it had been a job hazard. Whether it was an interview with a Marine with a missing leg, or a young Iraqi caught in crossfire, or any of the other tragedies, she’d never gotten used to it.

Witnessing such misery, while trying to remain unbiased and worse, practical y interrogating the victims to get their story, left her emotional y wounded. After the story was written, and she was alone, she’d let herself have a good cry.

But today’s hospital visit was different. Instead of being just a useless, pushy reporter, she’d be helping Hannah, who asked her along to volunteer at a children’s cancer treatment center. They’d gathered make-up and nail polish to play beauty salon with some of the little girls.

Samantha mental y prepared herself as she and Hannah entered the building. The ravages of cancer were just as difficult to stomach as the ravages of war. Both claimed their victories and losses.

She practiced a smile as they approached the elevator, then broke into a sincere grin as she approached the two men holding an armful of teddy bears and footbal jerseys. Ryan and Jake.

“Gosh, don’t they look cute?” whispered Hannah.

She remembered it was Wednesday; the same day Jake had wanted her to see Ryan. Despite the fact they did indeed look adorable, she wasn’t going to let Hannah off the hook. “You’re teaming up with Jake now?”

“It was Jake’s idea, but Ryan didn’t know. I swear on my Jimmy Choo’s.”

The surprised look on Ryan’s face confirmed it. Jake gave Hannah a peck on the cheek before introducing her to Ryan. Samantha hung back a moment, trying to figure out why Ryan was here. Was it for the publicity? His contract was up at the end of the year.
Extra. Extra. Football Star
Visits Hospital
. Owners ate headlines like that up. So did Fifth Avenue advertisers, which led to fat endorsement deals.

“I didn’t have anything to do with this. I swear,” said Ryan.

“I know. I think Hannah has Jake playing matchmaker.” Samantha nodded at the two who now had their back to them as they spoke.

“Jake as Cupid? Not a pretty picture.” Then Ryan leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “If they only knew the match has already been made.”

Then he straightened to his normal height. “And this is al off the record. I don’t do this for publicity, if that’s what you are thinking.”

Samantha bit back a stab of guilt. That’s exactly what she thought and always thinking the worse. Especial y when it came to Ryan.

“You can always write about me,” Hannah said over her shoulder. “I love being in the paper.”

They huddled into the elevator and Samantha glanced at Ryan, blushing as she relived the kiss. Jake eyed her suspiciously. She cleared her throat. “The teddy bears are cute.”

Ryan smiled down at her. “Some kids aren’t big on footbal and have no idea who we are, so the footbal jerseys wouldn’t mean much to them.”

The wal of ice surrounding Samantha’s heart began to thaw. A rush of emotion overwhelmed her like an icecap melting as if the Sun had exploded.

“That’s so sweet. Isn’t it, Samantha?” prompted Hannah.

“Umm, yeah,” she said automatical y. But Samantha wasn’t thinking about how sweet Ryan was. In the close confines of the elevator, with Hannah slightly pushing her towards him, al she could think about was kissing him again.

Ryan’s gaze dropped to her lips. Was he thinking about it, too?

“Okay, I’m real y not buying the story that nothing happened in the elevator in Dal as,” Jake said.

Ryan and Samantha looked away from each other. The doors slid open. No one moved.

“Oh my, God. I knew it!” said Hannah.

The doors closed and the elevator slid its way back to the lobby.

“Take it easy. It was just a kiss,” said Samantha.

She winced as Ryan said, “What? You cal that just a kiss?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tel me,” Hannah said to Samantha. Hurt laced her voice.

“Umm, honey, this isn’t the time to--” Jake tried to interject.

“Wel , was it?” asked Ryan, ignoring Hannah and Jake.

He looked so damn adorable holding the teddy bears, while wearing an expression of indignation. “Okay, so it was a knock my socks off French kiss.”

“Ooo, la, la,” said Hannah, the hurt in her voice gone and replaced with a naughty tone.

The doors slid back open on the ground floor. Several people waited to get on and they moved aside to let them on.

Samantha was pressed against Ryan in the crowded elevator. A bear nuzzled against her neck accidental y. Or was it accidental? As the bear tickled her ear, a shiver trickled up the base of her spine. She needed some space. She needed to breathe. No, she needed to kiss him and let him breathe for her. The doors slid open and the foursome got off.
Thank God
.

Ryan checked in at the nurse’s station while they waited in the hal . Jake mentioned he and Ryan visited every week and talked about some of kids he’s gotten to know. What was taking so long? She peeked over Jake’s shoulder and saw Ryan talking with a nurse, who looked like she walked off the set of a porno movie. Wasn’t there some dress code in this hospital?

What were they talking about? Was he asking why nurses wore white, or maybe he wanted to know if the cafeteria chili was safe to eat, or maybe he wanted to find the nearest supply closest? No, she wasn’t going to think like that. He wasn’t here for publicity and he wasn’t here to score. He was a volunteer. So what if the nurse looked like she wanted to volunteer to take his temperature with her tongue?

Ryan walked back, a deep frown creasing his face. “Jake, Jenny’s not doing good, so I’m going to stay after we’re done.”

“Who’s Jenny?” asked Samantha

“My number one fan and the sweetest kid on the planet. She’s been in and out of remission several times, but this time… ” his voice trailed off.

Samantha wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know how. She awkwardly placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He looked away, no doubt hiding tears. He squeezed her hand and mumbled, “Thanks.”

Samantha fol owed them into a playroom ful of kids. They clapped as Jake and Ryan, who wore their Cougar jerseys, made their way into the center of the room. She didn’t have to fake a grin at al . In spite of their circumstances, these young faces showed a happiness that was infectious.

The children clustered around Ryan and Jake, who did a play by play of last week’s game. She couldn’t help laughing along, as the two men grossly exaggerated a few details, like a game of who caught the biggest fish. The two engaged in some boyish tackling, bringing shouts from the boys and giggles from the girls.

They fielded questions from the group. Hands shot up, waving frantical y in the air vying for their attention.

As she helped Hannah set up the makeshift beauty salon, Samantha wondered what type of father Ryan would be. She pictured him with his future children and the neighborhood kids playing footbal in a backyard covered with leaves after an autumn storm. She imagined him treating them to a cup of hot chocolate while they argued over the score.

Without a thought, she slipped into the role of wife and mother. Shaking her head as their muddied children tramped through the house. Tucking their children in together. Making love every night. She looked up at him and he glanced over at the same time, like he’d been reading her thoughts from across the room. He smiled. Her heart clenched in pain from wanting it so bad and knowing she was living in a fantasy world.

Gift time arrived and while Hannah helped Jake hand out presents on one side of the room, Samantha helped Ryan on the other. Whether it was because he was their footbal hero or the sheer size of him, the kids were in awe of Ryan.

They worked their way over to a frightened little girl sitting off to the side in a wheel chair. Ryan crouched down and said, “Hi there, little one. Don’t be scared. I’m not as mean as I look.”

Her chin tilted up. “I’m not scared.”

Samantha’s heart nearly broke. “Of course, you’re not scared. He’s like this cuddly teddy bear here.” She handed the girl the toy, which had a tiny Cougar’s sweater on it. “Only bigger.”

Ryan turned to Samantha with speculation in his eyes. He was about to say something when the girl said, “How did you get so big?”

He turned back to the child who was now clutching the bear tightly to her chest. Tousling her hair, he said, “When I was little my Mom watered my feet once a day.” The frown on the girl’s face disappeared, replaced with a big smile as she started to giggled. Then she held her finger up, crocking it forward to motion Ryan closer. He fol owed her instructions and she bestowed a kiss on his cheek. Samantha briefly noticed a glistening of his eyes as he got up and turned away from her.

And he does this every week. He doesn’t have to do this. Doesn’t even want credit for it. He does it to make the kids happy.
Because he’s a
good man
.

With the gifts distributed the foursome said their goodbyes.

As they reached the elevator, Hannah turned to Samantha and said, “I’m going to Jake’s place, if it’s okay with you?”

“Of course it is. I’l take the subway home.”

“I can drive you home,” said Ryan. The door swished open. Hannah and Jake stepped in.

“Okay,” agreed Samantha.

“Which was al a part of my clever plan,” admitted Jake as the door slid shut leaving Ryan and Samantha alone.

“So you think I’m cuddly?” Ryan sidled up to her with a sly smile.

Samantha immediately regretted her decision to stay. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Impossible when I have you to keep me…what was the word you used the other day?”

“Grounded.”

He laughed. “Come with me to meet Jenny, she’s a fan of yours too. Not your number one fan, because that would be me.” He pointed to his chest.

She hated when he flirted with her. Hated how he made it impossible for her not to fal in love him. Love, hate, it was such a thin line and she lacked the skil s to walk it.

Reaching room 802, he knocked on the open door.

“Ryan!” a tiny voice cal ed.

It amazed Samantha that Jenny could muster up the enthusiasm to shout his name. She looked about twelve years old, even though the frame of her body had whittled down to nothing. A floral nightcap covered the bald head underneath. But despite the cancer, her beautiful blue eyes sparkled.

Samantha wanted to leave, afraid to intrude on their time together. She hung back in the doorway until the girl was curious enough to ask about her, which wasn’t long.

“Is that your girlfriend?”

“Don’t you recognize Samantha Jameson?” Ryan asked.

“The reporter?” She frowned and pul ed up the sheet. “She’s not going to take my picture, is she?”

Samantha walked to the bed and stood across from Ryan. “Hey, I’m a reporter, not some lazy photographer.

Jenny visibly relaxed. “You know you should real y get a new picture for your blog. It doesn’t look like you at al .”