Playing For Keeps (24 page)

“What?”

“I just found out two days ago.”

“He’s giving up music?”

“He says he’s not. He plans to continue his
lessons. He just doesn’t want to do it for a living.”

“Oh, my lord. What a blow.” Millie glanced to
the table where the application folders lay. “Wow. Talk about
adding insult to injury.”

“That’s exactly what Mike said.”

Her friend studied her for a minute. “Is this
why you backed out of dinner with us?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “Neil says Kyle’s change
of heart is mine and Mike’s fault.”

“Nasty Neil strikes again.” When Jacelyn
stared at her Millie asked, “Do you agree with him?”

“Kyle as much as admitted Mike was part of
the decision. And I supported Kyle’s interest in sports after Neil
left and when I found out he loved them so much. I let him take the
summer job with Mike. I encouraged him to get close to the
Kingstons.”

“Which has been nothing but healthy for both
of you.”

“Neil says Mike’s a bad influence on
Kyle.”

“Neil
is a bad influence on
Kyle.”

Weary, Jacelyn laid her head back and closed
her eyes. “I’m so tired of trying to figure this out.”

“Mike?”

“I guess. After our trip to Buckland, I was
going to talk to Lew and tell him this wasn’t a summer fling and I
was pursuing a relationship with Mike.”

“Sound good to me.”

“I’ve changed my mind.”

“Why?”

“I can’t deal with all this at once. Kyle’s
change in major and Neil’s reaction to him come first I have to
figure that out before doing anything else.”

“I don’t think there’s anything to figure
out.”

“Of course there is.”

“Jace, so what if you are partly responsible
for Kyle’s change of majors? Does it make any difference?”

She bit her lip. “It might. If I was
responsible, maybe I can do something to change it back.”

“You’re not thinking straight now. Don’t do
anything rash.”

“You’re probably right.” She glanced at her
watch. “I’m meeting Mike at four. To talk.”

“What are you going to say?”

“I’m not sure. I just need to smooth things
over with him. When I first found out about what Kyle had done, I
said some things I know hurt him.” She rubbed her neck. “Hell, this
is a mess.”

“Just don’t make it worse by not thinking it
through.”

“I won’t.” Jacelyn stood. “Thanks,
Millie.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jacelyn hurried out of the Outreach office
and took the stairs up to the Cyber Café. She found Mike at a
computer in the corner. He’d showered, and his hair was wet and
slicked back. He wore a navy collared shirt and jeans. When she
reached him, he smelled like heaven. “Hi.”

He looked up at her, his eyes wary.
“Hey.”

“How’d it go?”

“Pretty bad. I thought Turk was gonna take a
swing at me.”

“I’m sorry.” She nodded to the food counter.
“Are you going to eat?”

“No, not now.” She caught a glimpse of some
financial Web site before he closed the program. “Let’s just sit
over there and talk.” He nodded to a group of couches.

“All right.” They crossed to a sofa in the
corner. It wasn’t in the center of things, so no one would probably
notice them. She chided herself for having the thought. It would
hurt Mike if he knew she didn’t want to be seen in public with
him.

They sat. His knee bumped hers and his arm
rested across the top of the couch behind her. An intimate
position. She forced herself not to move away.

“How’d it go with Outreach?”

“Horrible. We’re going to disappoint so many
kids.”

“Can you get money from other sources?”

“Probably not. By now, funds are pretty much
assigned. No matter what we do, the next school year’s most likely
going to be a bust.”

“Maybe I can help.”

Jacelyn shook her head. “I don’t want to talk
about this with you.”

He stiffened and sat back, drawing his arm
away from her. His gray eyes were hurt “What’s safe ground here,
then?”

“I don’t know.”

“What did you want to meet about?”

“I just wanted to be with you, I guess.”

“Well, that’s something at least.”

She felt emotion, hard and heavy, swell in
her chest. “After the other night, I hate this distance between
us.”

“Me, too.”

“It feels as if everything’s shifted. Like
standing on sand in Mexico when the tide comes in. Suddenly the
ground gives out under you.”

He reached over and laced their fingers,
resting their joined hands on the couch. It felt so good to have
him touch her again. Just that small contact.

She held on. “I’m so worried about Kyle.”

“He’s almost a grown man. He has to make his
own decisions.”

“I know. I just feel so—” she looked around
“—responsible.”

“Thanks to good old Neil.”

“Millie calls him Nasty Neil.”

Mike grinned. She did, too.

“That’s good to see.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been better about
this.”

“Jacey, darlin’, I—”

“Oh, well, this is just perfect.” The voice
accompanied a shadow that blocked the sun from the windows. Jacelyn
looked up to see Neil standing over them. “I was right, wasn’t
I?”

Her whole body stiffened. She felt Mike
tighten his grasp on her hand. For support? Or was he staking his
territory? “Neil, what are you doing here?”

He stared at their clasped hands. “I can’t
believe it. I knew you’d let this jock into your lives. I didn’t
realize you were screwing him, too.”

“Now just a minute.” Mike let go of her hand
and stood. “You’re crossin’ the line, pal.”

Jacelyn stood, too. “You misunderstand,
Neil.”

“Yes, well, given this—” he indicated the
couch “—and what I just heard from Hal Harrington, it appears my
assumption about Kyle’s sudden change of heart is accurate.”

“Neil, listen—”

“Really, Jacelyn, I thought you were above
groupie mentality.”

Jacelyn knew she shouldn’t let his words cut
to the quick. Too much was at stake here. But old habits died hard,
especially when she felt so vulnerable.

Mike stepped close to Neil. “Apologize for
your vulgarity to the lady, right now, or I’m gonna knock you on
your ass, Worthington.”

Oh my God. A brawl in the café was just what
they needed. She stepped in between the two men. “Mike, stop it.
Neil, what are you doing here? Did you come to see Kyle?”

“I came to see Paul Hadley to discuss what
damage control we could do here.”

“Would you talk to Kyle while you’re here? He
was devastated last night.”

She thought she saw a flicker of
emotion—longing, maybe—in his face. She was reminded of the flashes
of vulnerability she’d seen in him at his house, too. “Yes, well,
I’m none too happy about it myself.”

Mike stepped around Jacelyn. “This is your
son, man. He cried last night when he was tellin’ me what
happened.”

Neil arched a brow, all traces of
vulnerability gone. “Playing surrogate father already,
Kingston?”

“Apparently, somebody has to.”

Neil focused on Jacelyn. “I can’t believe
you’ve gotten yourself into this mess and dragged my son into it
with you.”

“It’s not like that, Neil.”

“No?”

“No. Can we just talk about Kyle for a few
minutes?”

“Sure you can tear yourself away from lover
boy?”

“He’s not...we’re not...” She cut herself off
and turned to Mike. “Do you mind, Mike? I’d like to talk with Neil
alone.”

Stiffening, Mike took a step back. He leveled
a blistering glare on her. “Go ahead and consult with your ex,
babe. I’m outta here.”

She watched him stride away. Her stomach
sank, and she knew, deep in her heart, she’d just done something
which, more than likely, she wasn’t going to be able to fix. Their
words on the field today came back to her.

You done here?

I hope not, Jacelyn.

o0o

For the first time since they’d split up,
Neil looked really old and not attractive. Seated across from him
in the Cyber Café, Jacelyn purposely ignored the little voice
inside her that warned to be strong with Neil because she couldn’t
trust him and he was able to cut her to shreds with his
disapproval.

Her ex-husband sipped his tea. “I’m so
frustrated by all this, Jacelyn.” His tone wasn’t accusing,
though.

“So is Kyle. I wish you’d talk to him.”

Staring across the small area, Neil waited a
moment before he answered. “That’s what Stephanie said.”

“She did?”

He cleared his throat. “She said I’m going to
regret alienating him. She and her father don’t talk, and I’ve seen
how it has affected her.” Drawing a breath, he said,
“I
feel bad about this.”

“Oh, Lord, Neil, listen to Stephanie, please.
Listen to your heart. Kyle needs you in his life.”

His hands gripped the cup, and he studied the
tea as if it could give him answers. Finally, he looked at her. His
eyes were troubled. “How can I possibly give my approval for this
change in direction? It’s such a waste.”

“I didn’t give my approval either, Neil.”

“There’s approval, and there’s approval.” He
glanced over at the couch. “Silent acceptance of all this athletic
stuff indicates to your son that you approve. Fraternizing with
them makes it even worse.”

“If I’ve made mistakes, I’ll take
responsibility. But that doesn’t alter the fact that Kyle needs you
in his life, without conditions.”

Coach says unconditional love is the most
precious thing in the world.

She pushed away the reminder.

“I was upset on Wednesday when I took back
the tickets to the music festival.”

“I think you felt that he rejected the only
real connection between you two.”

“Maybe.”

The vise around Jacelyn’s heart loosened a
little. Perhaps this was going to be all right.

“I came here to see Paul, but I was hoping to
bump into Kyle, or you, I think.” Neil shook his head. “I just
didn’t expect to find you holding hands like some teenager with
Kingston.”

“I won’t talk about Mike with you. Except to
say he’s a good man.”

Instead of yelling at her, Neil leaned over
and braced his elbows on the table. “Can you honestly tell me that
your involvement with him, that Kyle’s attachment to him and his
kid hasn’t influenced his decision to change majors?”

She thought about Kyle’s comments.
He’s a
great dad, Mom.
She remembered seeing them together, playing
football in the backyard, on the field. Still, she hedged because
she didn’t want to give Neil more ammunition. “Kyle says he’s been
thinking about changing majors since last spring.”

“He may have been considering it. But why
didn’t he tell us then? Mike Kingston sealed the deal.”

Jacelyn leaned back. “All right. I think that
might be true.”

“I’m glad we agree that Kingston’s a bad
influence.”

Her eyes flew open. “I didn’t say I thought
that he was a bad influence.”

“But you’re willing to admit it’s a
possibility.”

“No, I’m not. I
am
willing to say
that his influence might have affected Kyle’s decision.”

“When are they leaving?” Neil asked.

“What?”

“When are the Kingstons leaving?”

Her throat felt tight. “Next week.”

“Thank God. Maybe if Kyle doesn’t have any
contact with them after they’re gone, if he doesn’t go to the games
or do e-mail with this guy, our son might get over this whole
thing.”

“I don’t think that would work, Neil.”

Neil went on as if he hadn’t heard her
objection. “We can encourage him in another direction. I’m having
Paul set up some lessons here, and we’ll continue the ones at
Hochstein.” He ducked his head. “I’ll pay. Meanwhile, I’ll try to
spend some time doing more music things with him. Maybe we can
avoid this train wreck.”

She sat up straight. “I’m not sure I want to
cut him off from the Kingstons.”

Neil looked surprised. “You’re not planning
to see that man after next week, are you?” When she didn’t respond,
he said, “Oh, Jacelyn, you don’t think of this thing between you as
long-term, do you? So, you had a fling. Put it behind you. He’s an
athlete. He travels. He has young, nubile females throwing
themselves at him all the time. You don’t want to be caught up in
all that.”

She’d already been caught up in that once.
And the reminder dented her self-confidence. So she snapped, “You’d
know about young nubile females throwing themselves at men,
wouldn’t you?”

“I suppose I deserve that. In any case, if
you get Kingston out of both your lives, I’ll do my part to get
Kyle on back to music.”

“Mike’s returning second semester to teach in
the Sports Studies program.”

“You hired your lover?”

“You slept with one of your students.”

He recoiled back. “I…It’s not the same
thing.”

She sighed deeply. “Neil, this isn’t where I
want this conversation to go.”

“
Then back to Kyle. If we handle
this right, the most he’ll lose one semester.” Neil stood. “I’ve
got to get back to Ithaca.”

“See Kyle first.”

Neil hesitated.

“He’s home right now.”

“All right I’ll go see Kyle. I have a favor
to ask in return.”

“What?”

“That you’ll consider breaking off with
Kingston and keeping Kyle away from him.”

“I have to think it through, Neil. I’m not
committing to anything right now.”

“Fair enough.” He pulled out his cell phone.
“I’ll call Kyle.”

Two days after Jacelyn and Mike had met Neil
in the Cyber Café, Mike was barely hanging on to his temper. But he
was forced to put on a happy front because he’d been coerced by the
boys into a bike outing by the canal. Just like one big happy
family. Seething, he watched as Jacelyn laughed out loud when
Tyler’s bike wobbled and-he stopped it with his toes. They were
about ten feet away, but he could hear her clearly. “I think the
bike’s a little too big for you, buddy.”