Playing for Keeps (14 page)

Her mother shrugged. “Perhaps, but I don't believe so. And despite my reservations, you're going to go through with it anyway, aren't you? You're going to confront her?”

“Yes, I am, Mother,” Avery said, standing firm.

“Well, if I can't talk you out of it, then so be it.” She turned and walked off the terrace.

“Mom, wait!” Avery shouted, but her mother had already made it back inside to the dining room. Avery saw her whisper something in her father's ear. When he turned and glared at Avery, she felt two feet tall—the same way she had when she'd been scolded as a child for misbehaving. Didn't they understand she
had
to do this? Avery watched Quentin shake her father's hand and her parents leave the ballroom without a backward glance at her.

 

On the short flight from Manhattan to Buffalo on Monday morning, Avery had some time to imagine the scenario of meeting her biological mother for the first time. Her thoughts went from highly optimistic to hopelessly negative. Because the fact of the matter was Avery had no idea how Leah Johnson would react to seeing the child she'd given up for adoption standing on her doorstep. And so Avery sat in her rent-a-car across the street from the Johnsons' residence, a five-bedroom mansion in an exclusive subdivision in Buffalo. What else could you call an estate spread out over five acres with a swimming pool and a cabana?

“I'm scared, Quentin.” Avery couldn't resist calling him from her cell phone. She'd been staring at the house for over half an hour. She'd seen Leah's husband and her half sister leave for work and school, and yet Avery hadn't found the courage to walk up to the front door and face the mother who'd given her up for adoption thirty-three years ago.

“You've come a long way,” Quentin said on the other end. “You can't chicken out now. You can do this, Avery. You're tough as nails. And trust me, I know because that's the woman I met who gave me hell when I crashed her art show.”

Avery remembered that woman all too well. Who'd have known how important Quentin would become in her life in such a short amount of time? “Thank you, Quentin.” She appreciated his support and encouragement.

“Call me later,” he said.

“I will,” she promised and flipped her phone shut. Taking a deep breath, she exited the car, walked across the street and up the Johnson driveway. She was sure Leah was still there because she hadn't seen her leave.

“Here goes,” Avery said and rang the doorbell. It seemed like several long excruciating moments before the door swung open and Avery got her first glimpse of Leah.

Avery stared openmouthed, trying to take in all of Leah's features, from her smooth café-colored skin to her round face, pert nose and almond-shaped brown eyes. With a sophisticated auburn shoulder-length crop, slender jeans, crisp white shirt and pointy-toe shoes, Leah Johnson didn't look fifty-three at all. She didn't look as if she were a day over forty.

“May I help you?” Leah asked.

“I, uh…” Avery struggled to find the words.

“Listen, if you're trying to sell something, I'm really not interested,” Leah said. “I was just on my way out.” She had begun to close the door when Avery reached out and grabbed the knob.

“I'm not trying to sell you anything,” she said, finding her voice. “I'm…I'm Avery Roberts. And I'm your daughter.”

I
t was Leah's turn to stare back at Avery dumb-struck. As she connected with Avery's startling green eyes and smooth café-au-lait complexion, which mirrored her own, Leah's hand went up to her mouth. “Ohmigod!” She retreated a step back.

“I know this must come as a shock.” Avery began taking a step forward. She knotted her fingers together to keep them from trembling. “But…you see, I just found out I was adopted.”

“I guess I always knew this day would come,” Leah said, watching her warily. “But once you'd turned eighteen and no one ever came…” Her voice trailed off.

“You figured you were in the clear?” Avery inquired icily.

“Forgive my rudeness,” Leah said, not answering her. “Please come in.” She swung the door open. Once Avery was inside, she glanced around the mansion's impressive two-story foyer. Clearly Leah had lived a good life after giving her up.

“Would you care for some coffee?” Leah said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “There's still some left from breakfast.”

Avery nodded and followed Leah past the formal living and dining rooms, and into the impressive chestnut-inspired kitchen complete with double oven and center island. “You have a lovely home,” Avery commented, sitting down at the table that overlooked a large pool. This place was straight out of
Home & Garden
, she thought.

“Thank you,” Leah replied, taking a mug out of the cabinet and pouring Avery a cup from the brewer. “Cream? Sugar?” Leah asked, trying to busy herself.

“No thanks. I believe this is an occasion for black coffee,” Avery responded to Leah's attempt at small talk to avoid the obvious elephant in the room. Avery watched Leah stand awkwardly by the island. “I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here.”

“That's pretty obvious,” Leah said, nervously glancing her way. Why did she have to look so much like him? “You want answers, I presume. You want to know why I gave you up.”

“Partially.”

“And the other reason?”

“The other reason is I just wanted to know who I looked like,” Avery answered honestly.

Leah's mouth formed an O, and the tense lines that had marked her face relaxed. Apparently, she hadn't thought that maybe, just maybe, Avery would like to know where she came from.

Leah shrugged. “Well, now you know.”

“Did you ever wonder about me?” Avery blurted out. She had to know if she'd ever crossed Leah's mind in thirty-three years, because from her stand-offishness, Avery thought not.

Leah paused before answering. “I did, but I knew I gave you to a good family where you would have a mother and a father. And at that time, I had nothing to offer you.”

Avery nodded. “I see.”

“I suppose now you hate me after seeing all this?” Leah swung her arms around. “You see the life that was denied you.”

“Is that honestly why you think I'm here? Because I want something from you?”

“I don't know, Avery, why are you here?” Leah asked sharply, folding her arms. “Because I can't go back. I can't change the past. I made a mistake in my youth and I did the best that I could under the circumstances.”

“So I was a mistake?” Avery paled at the enormity of Leah's statement. How could a woman she hardly knew cut her to the quick? Avery felt the nauseating sink of despair. Had she made a mistake in coming here?

Leah shook her head. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“No, then how did you mean it?”

“Avery, listen.” Leah came toward the table, pulled out a chair and sat down. “I was twenty years old when I gave you up. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I was still in college and had no means to support myself, let alone you.”

“What about my biological father?” Avery asked. Because his name was suspiciously absent on her original birth certificate from New Hampshire.

“He wasn't an option,” Leah returned, standing up. She didn't want to go down that road. What was in the past was the past and Leah wanted to keep it that way.

“Why not?” Avery pressed. She'd come here for answers and she was not leaving until she got them.

“Because!” Leah shouted and turned to face the pool. How could she admit that she'd been so naive?

“I have a right to know,” Avery said, standing up. “You owe me that much.”

Apparently that struck a chord, because Leah came back and sat down at the table. And when she did, Avery joined her. “Why don't you just take it from the top and tell me what happened.” Avery reached over and patted Leah's hand to reassure her that she could speak. Leah looked up at her as if she was surprised that Avery would offer her comfort and empathy.

Disconcerted, Leah stammered and moved her hand out of Avery's grasp. “I, uh…I met your biological father at a party thrown by one of his cronies. Mind you, I had no place being there as I was under twenty-one, but I wanted to seem mature and sophisticated. So I passed by him several times hoping he'd notice me. And he did.”

“And?”

“And he was a few years older than me and therefore extremely appealing to a foolish girl like me.” Leah's eyes misted up. “He drove me home after the party and one thing led to another….”

“So I was the product of a one-night stand?” Avery finished.

Leah shook her head. “No, it wasn't like that. Richard and I were more than just lovers. We struck up an affair. And I thought we were headed toward marriage until I found out I was pregnant and he was engaged to another woman.”

“What happened when you told him you were pregnant?”

“He offered to pay for an abortion. And I told him no way,” Leah replied. “Whether you believe this or not, you were the product of love, Avery. Unfortunately, Richard felt obligated to marry the woman his father had chosen for him.”

Avery was surprised that after all these years Leah could actually defend the man who had deceived and used her.

“As much as Richard cared for me, he couldn't go against his father's wishes or he'd be cut off.”

Avery was disgusted. “So he chose money over you? Over love? Over his own child?” She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

“Yes, he did. And I made the decision to have you, but when I realized I couldn't care for you, I gave you up. And I'm sorry, Avery, if I had to go back and do it all over again, I'd do nothing differently.”

“So you have no regrets about giving me up? None at all?”

“Did you have a good life?” Leah asked.

“Yes.”

“Parents that loved and cared for you?”

“Yes.”

“Then I did the right thing. I made the right decision and did what was in your best interests. Not mine.”

Avery didn't appreciate Leah's martyr routine because it didn't ring true. “Your actions were not entirely selfless, Leah. You did it for yourself, too. Because you didn't want to be tied down to a child and be a single parent. You took the easy way out.”

“You have no idea what it felt like to be in my shoes,” Leah retorted. “You have no idea what it was like to have to give up a child you'd carried in your womb for nine months to complete strangers, all with the belief that they would take care of her.”

“But you did!” Avery shouted back at her. “You did it without a backward glance. You didn't even hold me after I was born.”

Leah was shocked. “How did you know that?”

“Because my father told me you'd refused to see me,” Avery cried.

“And I suppose you think I'm heartless?” Leah asked.

“Aren't you?” Avery asked, rising from her seat and coming toward her. “How could you give up your baby girl without even looking at her?” Avery's voice rose with each question. “How could you?”

“Because if I saw you, I'd never be able to give you up!” Leah yelled back at her. With how she'd felt about Richard, if she'd held Avery, the child they'd created, Leah wouldn't have been able to go through with the adoption.

Avery wished she could believe that. “And now? I'm here now…”

Leah swirled around to face Avery's tearstained face. Avery waited for Leah to open up her arms and envelop her, but she didn't. Instead she vehemently shook her head. “I'm sorry. I can't, Avery. I know this must hurt you, but I can't.”

The spark of hope Avery had been keeping alive was extinguished. “Why not? I'm here now. Why can't you embrace me now?”

“I have a new life now, Avery,” Leah replied. “A family. A husband. I'm not the same Leah Gordon that I was back then.” She felt guilty and selfish for thinking about herself, but there it was.

Avery seethed with mounting rage. “The family you speak of is my family, too. They are my brothers and my sister.”

“Who have no idea that you exist,” Leah returned matter-of-factly. “You see, I never told my husband that I had another child. Do you know what this would do to my marriage? To my children?”

“Your children!”
Avery shouted. “I'm your child, too. Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?”

“I'm sorry, Avery,” Leah cried, turned her back and wiped away the tears with her hand. “But it can't be avoided. I am so sorry, but I can't acknowledge you. We can't have a relationship.”

Avery wiped a tear from her cheek. “Fine. Fine. If that's the way you want it. Fine. But I want to know who my real father is.”

“Avery, no!” Leah immediately swung back around.

“Either I leave here with his name,” Avery countered, “or I will shatter this perfect little family that you've created. I want his name, Leah, and I want it now.” Deep down, Avery knew she would never tell a soul, but Leah didn't know that. Avery wouldn't want her siblings to feel the kind of pain she was feeling at this very moment, this feeling of being betrayed by the people you loved most. But emotional blackmail was all she had to get the truth out of Leah.

Leah turned her back and considered her options. Her husband would most certainly leave her if he ever found out she'd had another child and had lied to him throughout the course of their marriage. He was a proud man and well respected in the community. “All right,” she said, turning around. “I'll tell you.”

Avery folded her arms. “I'm waiting.”

“I'll tell you, Avery, but you have to know that he's a very successful businessman now and I doubt things will turn out any differently than with me.”

“It doesn't matter,” Avery said. “Now that you've shown me what to expect, I won't have any expectations.”

Leah felt as if a knife had been stuck in her heart, but she had no choice. “His name is Richard King,” she finally offered.

“Richard King?” Avery repeated the name and blinked in bafflement. Of all the names in the world, she certainly had not expected that one. The words sent her pulses spinning. How could her father be the very same man Quentin was doing a photo exposé on, the man his friends despised? The very same man who could walk away from the woman he loved and his own child, an inner voice responded.

Leah continued speaking even though Avery's mind barely registered the information. “I'm sure you've heard of him. The King Corporation is well known throughout Manhattan.”

Avery nodded. She was in complete and utter shock. Richard King was her biological father? So Leah had had an affair with a Caucasian man? Well, that explained a lot. She'd always felt she must be mixed, but now she knew.

“I'm sorry, Avery,” Leah continued. “I wish we could have a relationship, but given my husband's standing in the community, if this came out, it could damage his career.”

“And I wouldn't want to do that. Thank you for the information.” Avery slung her purse over her shoulder and headed toward the kitchen exit.

“What do you plan to do?” Leah asked, dreading Avery's answer.

Avery couldn't believe her nerve and swerved around to glare at her biological mother for what would be the only time they'd ever meet. “That isn't any of your business, now, is it?” Avery asked. She gave Leah one final withering look before storming out of her perfect life forever.

 

The ride to the airport and the subsequent flight home were a blur for Avery. How could she not be in a fog when Leah had chosen to abandon her for a second time and her biological father turned out to be a lying, ruthless snake like Richard King? Once she'd landed at the airport and turned her phone back on, Avery noticed that Quentin had called several times, but she couldn't talk to him right now.

She was having a hard enough time processing the news, let alone trying to explain it to another person. She was deeply hurt that Leah wouldn't acknowledge her. She had turned her back on her again. She hadn't expected a miracle or for Leah to throw her arms around her, but she hadn't thought Leah wouldn't want to have
anything
to do with her either. Leah didn't even want to touch her. Would her presence have truly been that disruptive? Avery would never know because Leah had an icebox where her heart should be.