Playing Doctor (4 page)

As he headed back
to his apartment, Court was stomping mad, so angry that he would have kicked himself if it were possible. He kept wondering, what had he been thinking…going over uninvited to his boss's home at night to ask her out on a date! Shit, she really must be laughing it up now—a young, naive kid thinking he had a chance with an experienced woman like her.

Bumping a small rock with his foot, Court then grabbed the rock and hurled it at a tree. That felt good. He heaved another one into the woods, and yet another. If the trees could talk, they would be telling him he was a fool, he thought dejectedly.

Well, that was that. Lauren had a boyfriend, someone more her age and who clearly knew her very well. The guy had called her the sweet nickname “Laure” and seemed to be staying at her place.
Oh
well
, Court thought again, better to know for sure she was unavailable. Maybe now he could free himself from this inappropriate desire and look elsewhere. Maybe he should start making an effort with Jessica, he decided. She was clearly available and undeniably interested.

At least there was one good thing about his internship, Court realized. He was learning a great deal and enjoying every minute of it, so much so that he wondered why he had ever doubted that he should go to med school in the fall. That helped settle his feelings, knowing his future was set. Not only that, but the work would look great on his résumé. Now, if he could just get his sexy boss out of his mind once and for all, he would really enjoy this summer of hands-on medical training. As he opened the door to his small rental unit, Court decided that he would begin his new plan on Monday by meeting Jessica's overt flirtations with friendly smiles of his own.

Lauren was anxious as
she puttered about the kitchen finishing preparations for dinner. It turned out that Ted really did have a problem with his car and was off at the shop checking on the car's condition while she waited impatiently for him to return. Highly skeptical, Lauren wanted to know what he would propose and to simply get it over with. As she shoved a pan of frozen lasagna into the oven, she heard the front door of her bungalow open and walked out to greet Ted.

“Everything okay with the car?” she asked.

“Yes, it was just a failed temperature sensor. An easy fix. It will be ready by midmorning tomorrow.” He looked at her and smiled. “Is now a good time to talk?”

She nodded and sat down on the couch, gesturing for Ted to join her. She waited, not willing to make it any easier for him.

“Laure, first I need to tell you how deeply sorry I am for the way I left. It was completely wrong of me, and very immature and selfish. I wish I had done things differently,” Ted said earnestly.

He leaned over to take her hand in his, but Lauren pulled away before he could touch it.

“I also want to apologize for the decline of our marriage. That was my fault too. I was unhappy…feeling trapped in this small town and trying to please you at the same time. But instead of trying to work it out with you, I just kept it all inside until there was nothing else to do but leave. I can see now that was a terrible mistake.” He sounded very sincere.

“Ted, it means something to me that you're apologizing in person
finally
… It really does, but what you are telling me is not new information and it doesn't change anything.”

Ted reached out again and this time caught her hands in his. He gripped them tightly and looked deeply into her eyes. “Lauren, I miss you and I still love you. I will never stop loving you. Don't you still care for me at all, not even a little?”

“Of course I still care for you. I'll always care for you after all that we shared, but I've made a new life for myself. While I can't say it's perfect, at least I have some peace.”

“Please! Just hear me out!”

Lauren nodded.

“I want you to come join me in Chicago. You can sell the practice here and find a new position there… Something in a small clinic so you'll still have the close patient contact you like. Then you won't have to struggle anymore to make ends meet. And there's no rush to even find a new job, because I make lots of money now, and I can support us both. I make so much that I can even afford to buy a small second home in the country. I know how much you love small towns, and you can be in the country every weekend. See…you can have both worlds…and me too.”

“This is so out of the blue. Where is it coming from?” she asked. Lauren realized that she didn't fully trust him. Having him show up after all this time was just too weird.

“I love you! I've never stopped loving you. I've missed you so much, and it's been lonely in Chicago. I know that with you and me together, everything would be perfect.”

Ted kept telling her that he loved her, but Lauren couldn't help wondering why he'd needed six months to realize this. Had he really been pining for her all this time, or had he been trying his romantic luck in the Windy City? Obviously he was lonely, but she was not sure that Ted truly loved her. It did not really surprise her that his “plan” was self-serving and one-sided. She turned and looked him straight in the eye.

“You want me to give up everything and follow you back to Chicago? How am I supposed to trust you after you abandoned me the way you did?”

“Please, Laure, just take some time to think about it…just one night. We're talking about your future and the rest of our lives. Think about all the great times we shared in the past, and what a great future we could have together…and all the great sex.” He winked leeringly at her.

“Sleep on it,” he urged. “I promise I'll leave Saturday morning if your answer is no, but just give it one night, will you?”

“Okay, sure. I'll think about it overnight.”

Ted leaned over quickly and snuck his arms around Lauren, clearly planning to kiss her. She pulled away, just before his lips met hers, and jumped up from the couch. “Dinner will be ready soon,” she said, hurrying back to the kitchen.

After they finished the simple dinner of lasagna and salad, Lauren went to bed promising to think it over. Ted had attempted to kiss her again, but Lauren had put her hand up to stop him, repeating that she would tell him her thoughts in the morning. Ted definitely wanted her—or at least wanted sex with her—but rather than that stirring her, Lauren felt…nothing.

Lauren couldn't sleep much that night, even though her gut told her the answer before she climbed into bed. In truth, Lauren realized that she didn't think she could ever really trust Ted again. His betrayal had been too great. Although she stewed some over whether he had played the field before realizing he wanted her back, that wasn't really the issue. Lauren knew that while a part of her still loved him and probably always would, she just didn't feel the same toward him anymore, not after all that had happened. Those old feelings were dead, and she knew intuitively that they wouldn't be coming back.

So on Saturday morning she gave Ted her answer. After a quick breakfast, she gathered her courage and said, “I appreciate the effort you made to come and talk to me, but I'm not ready to give up everything and follow you back to Chicago. My life is here.”

“Come on, Laure! I can't believe you're going to turn your back on everything we meant to each other! Turn your back on being married to a top Chicago doctor and all that would offer you. Why not just come up and visit for a weekend and see? I love the city and I know you will too.”

“I'm sorry, Ted, but the answer is no.”

“It's that young guy, isn't it! What is he to you?”

Lauren walked over to the front door and opened it. “Ted, I think it's time for you to leave.”

He glared at her, and Lauren realized then that Ted had not expected this answer from her. Clearly, he had thought she would drop everything to run happily away with him.

Before Ted walked out, he made one last attempt. “Laure, why don't you just come for a weekend visit? Think about that idea.” And then Ted walked out and down the stairs, glancing back once to wave and smile.

As she closed the door behind him, Lauren felt only relief and a small bit of pleasure. She was now so strong and confident that she could turn down his offer, even when faced with the strong possibility of remaining alone. Things had seemed so empty and sad when Ted first divorced her, but she had managed to pull her life back together and keep going during even the darkest moments. Lauren now realized that she had reached the point of being happy and feeling secure. She was grateful to Ted for his role in helping her understand this about herself, but that was the only emotion she felt toward him now.

For the remainder of the weekend, Lauren allowed herself to savor her newfound peace. She took Rufus on long walks and started really enjoying her independent life, rather than feeling stagnant and stuck watching life pass her by. It was freeing and gave her a new outlook about the future.

As she climbed into bed Sunday night, she realized that while the weekend had been emotionally exhausting, it had helped her to finally let go of the past. If there was a bright spot, it was seeing Ted's animosity and jealousy about Court's visit, which was an enormous ego boost. Lauren smiled, recalling the many times Ted had tried nonchalantly to ask who Court was and why he had come calling.

Playing a private game of misdirection, Lauren had evaded each of his supposedly casual questions, never letting on that Court wasn't her boyfriend. Ted had made some comments about Court's obvious youth, to which Lauren had replied enigmatically that Ted could certainly understand why she was trying so hard to stay fit and trim. Perhaps she had let him get the wrong idea, but so what? She did not owe Ted any explanations about her current life.

After thinking back about how her weekend had gone, Lauren had only one complaint—the unfortunate circumstance of Court now thinking she had a boyfriend. She kept reminding herself it shouldn't matter to her. Court was still her employee, and a much younger man at that. Lauren decided to put it all out of her head and focus her energies on her growing medical practice and the upcoming picnic.

In the week that
followed, Court behaved toward Lauren with markedly polite professionalism. He made no mention of his weekend visit to her home and was courteous but distant with her. Lauren watched his apparent growing interest in Jessica with despair and tried to forestall her own inappropriate jealousy. Everyone there, staff and patients, couldn't help noticing the brewing office romance between the two youngest members of her staff. Brenda and Kelly thought it was cute. Lauren could only nod in polite agreement to their whispered observations.

If Lauren had any doubts about what she was seeing between her intern and receptionist, Jessica made it abundantly clear on Friday afternoon when she appeared in Lauren's office giddy with delight. After shutting the door, she exclaimed, “Lauren, guess what? Court finally asked me out. We're going to the movies tonight. Isn't that great?”

Plastering a
happy-for-you
smile on her face, Lauren responded, “That's terrific. Lucky you!”

“I'm so excited. You must have noticed that I like him. I hope I wasn't too obvious with all my flirting, but I didn't seem to be getting anywhere,” Jessica prattled on. “I was just about to give up and go after Jim, my old high-school boyfriend home from college for the summer. But now I'll—”

Lauren felt the smile freezing on her face. Was Jessica ever going to stop talking and leave her office? And the worst part was that even now thoughts of Court still made her palms sweat and brought tingles to places that shouldn't tingle for him.
Maybe
, Lauren thought, trying not to listen to the young woman anymore,
if
I
just
stand
up
and
start
packing
to
leave, Jessica will get the hint.

But Jessica didn't. “Really, Court is just tooooo too much, don't you think? I wonder what his kisses are like. I wonder if—”

And so it went, all during the following week. Jessica talked endlessly behind closed doors about Court to anyone who would listen. Lauren recognized she had no claim on the young man, but her pulse still quickened whenever she was in the same room with him. Hearing constantly about his budding relationship with Jessica was a bitter pill to swallow. At least Jessica couldn't talk about it when Court was present, which was much of the time, thankfully.

Still Lauren heard all about their first date—the movies at the old Bijou.

Their first dinner out together—Joe's Place, Plum Banks's only real restaurant.

“I offered to drive to Marion,” Jessica reported to the ladies when they all went to lunch at that same restaurant, Court staying behind to man the phones. “But he said it was nicer to walk on such a beautiful night. Isn't that romantic? And then he—”

Lauren wanted desperately to plug her ears. And then she wished that she had, because she learned way more than she wanted to know.

Giving the ladies a conspiratorial smile, Jessica leaned in and shared, “Oh, and we had our first kiss! Wow oh wow, he's a good kisser! It was really sick! But he's a real gentleman. A short kiss was all it was, before saying good night to me at my door,” she added with a regretful, pouty tone.

“What?” interrupted Brenda. “What was sick about it?”

Giggling delightedly, Jessica said, “No, no, you don't understand. ‘Sick' means that it really kicks. Don't you get it? His lips are like the hottest things you can imagine!”

“Ah, okay. So it was good, then?” the older woman asked, not really understanding.

“Yes, it was
very
good! His kiss was soooo sophisticated. I can tell he'd be a take-charge kind of guy in bed, if you know what I mean,” Jessica responded, giggling.

Lauren felt her smile freezing on her face again. Could she please stop talking about Court and his kisses and his lips, she fretted, feeling that familiar burn start as sexy images of him flitted unwelcomely through her mind.

Seeing Kelly watching her thoughtfully, Lauren worried that her feelings were written all over her face. Then Kelly interrupted Jessica with an off-topic question. Being a skilled conversationalist, Kelly easily managed to change the subject without anyone being the wiser—except for Lauren, who wondered how much her colleague had guessed about her private crush on Court.

As they walked back to the office, Jessica threw out one last tidbit that made Lauren groan, silently of course.

“Guess what! Jim…you remember, my old high school boyfriend? Well, Jim has also asked me out,” Jessica said gleefully. “At first I thought maybe I shouldn't date two guys at once, but then I decided why not. I'm a modern woman and they're just dates after all, but then again—”

As Jessica continued thinking aloud, the others murmured their agreement. Even Lauren managed a nod, but once back in the clinic, she went straight into her office, calling out a sharp, “Take messages for me. I have some work to do in my office.”

“But what about her afternoon patients?” Court questioned the other doctor.

“Oh, that's okay,” Kelly responded, glancing over at the now-closed door. “I can fit them into my schedule for the next hour or so.”