Authors: Kate Allure
“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.”
âHenry David Thoreau,
Walden
The three of us
are taking a short friends-with-benefits vacation together, getting away from a frigid February in New England. The grandparents are watching our teens and his ex has theirs, but none of them are aware that it is vacation for threeâthat's our little secret. At this moment, we are lounging on a beach enjoying the sun after an energetic few hours fucking on the king-size bed in our hotel room. I have a hand resting on both my guys, something that can only happen here in this tropical island locale, away from prying eyes of friends and neighbors.
I'll admit that I secretly enjoy the occasional curious glances, some from women who obviously envy me. Some are clearly disapproving, but that is their problem. The three of us are comfortable with our arrangement. We are, after all, consenting adults in an open and equal relationship.
I have no idea how long it will last, but we've already enjoyed four wonderful months. I know this liaison will end in due course, perhaps when Luka gets a girlfriend or maybe Elliott will tire of sharing, but for now all is good. Certainly my middle-age libido has had a wonderful reboot, which has had a nice impact on our marriage, even when we're home alone. So, for now, I'm just going to enjoy my good fortune and store up memories for later.
We only get one life to live, and we have to seize opportunities when they come along. I am living my dreams with courage, stepping to a beat that is mine alone, and truly living my life to the fullest with no regrets, I realize, as I drift off to sleep in the tropical sunshine.
Nikki hurried to join
her three friends for lunch, something they did at least once a week to catch up on gossip and help each other through girl stuff. They always met at their favorite lunchtime dive, a place they'd frequented often since they graduated from NYU a few years earlier. They were all starting out at the bottom with entry-level jobs, but they also knew that they were going places. After all, they worked at world-class companies in the center of the universe, New York Cityâor at least that's how
they
felt about it.
Walking into the joint, Nikki knew it was her turn to accept some boyfriend advice, but she didn't really want to talk about it. She was running late and saw that her roommate, Kim, and friends Rachel and Amy were already there.
“Hey, Nikki, glad you could find the time to join us,” Rachel noted in her usual sarcastic manner.
“Sorry, really,” Nikki responded. “My boss grabbed me at the last minute.”
“Cut her some slack, Rachel,” said Kim. “You know she had a rough time of it last weekend.”
“Yeah, I heard that you broke up with that a-hole you called a boyfriend.” Rachel jumped at the chance to talk about the latest gossip. “Spill it. What happened?”
Timidly Amy interjected, “Ummâ¦maybe Nikki doesn't feel like talking about it.” After giving Rachel a pleading look to let it drop, she added, “It's okay, Nikki. It's none of our business really.”
“Let me order some food first, okay? I'm starving,” Nikki said as she opened the menu.
“You know what I'm thinking? Let's go out later tonight for drinks and dancing. It'll be a good chance to take our minds off work and, you know, other things,” said Kim, giving a slight nod in Nikki's direction. “Maybe Club X⦠It's fun.”
“Boo-yah! That's a great idea,” Rachel agreed. “It'll be packed tonight, and I'm ready to hook up with someone new.”
“Don't you think it's a bit of a pickup dive?” Amy asked. “Maybe not the best place to go, givenâ”
“Yup. All the guys there are on the make, looking for someone new to bone,” retorted Rachel, smirking at the three girls. “Perfect for me and for all of you too.”
“Really, Rachel, where do you get this stuffâ¦âsomeone to bone'?” Amy commented with exasperation.
Joining the fray, Nikki said quietly, “I don't know. I'm not sure I am ready for a meat market. Why don't you all go, really. I'll enjoy a calm evening at home.”
“Not a chance,” said Rachel. “We'll make sure you have fun, maybe dance a little. You don't need to actually try to meet anyone, just enjoy a little window-shopping, so to speak.”
Pausing a moment to stab at her salad and stuff some in her mouth, Rachel continued, “What do you think, Kim and Amy? What better way to forget a jerk than to meet a new one!”
So it was agreed that they would all go to Club X in Greenwich Village around eleven that evening, although Nikki didn't think she would have a very good time. After Ben, her boyfriend of a little over a year, cheated on her, and they subsequently broke up, Nikki had felt down all week, but today she had begun to think maybe it was time to make some changes. She knew it was well past time for her to become a modern woman and take charge of her life. She just wasn't entirely sure how to go about it.
All four of the friends were longtime college buddies and had grown into adulthood together as roomies in the dorms, although timid Amy was the last to join their tight group. Rachel had always been the extrovert, and her outgoing manner, while sometimes a little grating, had certainly paid off at work. She had already received a small promotion and was eagerly taking on more responsibility. Nikki's closest friend, Kim, was also an outgoing personâsomeone who knew what she wanted and, while less mouthy than Rachel, had a definite plan for how to get there.
Nikki, however, was more reserved, not quite as shy and conventional as Amy but not one to put herself out there in the limelight either. After a week of soul searching, she had come to the conclusion that it was time for a Nikki makeover. It wasn't that she was totally heartbroken over Ben. She realized now what a jerk he really was, just as Rachel said, but Nikki also acknowledged that her quiet personality and muted fashion style made sure that she was the last one to get noticed in a groupâand at her job too!
Nikki knew she was smart, a hard worker, and if not stunningly beautiful, she was at least good-looking, with a fit body and shapely legs. For too long she had been comfortable, not pushing herself to stand out and certainly not showing her assets to their best advantage. That was the reason Nikki had settled for a boyfriend who put his needs above hers and urged her to do things she didn't want to in bed, while taking her for granted until something better came along. Changing herself might take some effort and perhaps push her out of her comfort zone, but if nothing else, she would know that she had given her best shotâat work, at play, and at love.
Nikki and Rachel were coworkers in a small publishing house in Lower Manhattan, and as they walked back to work together after lunch, Rachel apologized for being pushy. “I know I come on a little strong sometimes, but if there is anything I can do to help, you know you can count on me.”
“I know,” Nikki responded. “You're a good friend. I'm just not as outgoing as you, and certainly not as sophisticated either, but that's something I want to change.” Pausing, she thought about it and decided to take a chance and confide in her friend. “Do you know the reason why we broke up, Ben and I?”
“No, I don't. Kim wouldn't spill it, althoughâ¦nosy meâ¦I did ask her.”
“It's stupid, really. Ben and I were together for over a year, and you know we had sexâlots, actually. I thought it was good, but, well, he didn't like that he always had to use a condom.”
“Really,” interjected Rachel, clearly fascinated by this dirt.
“Sometimes I wonder why I didn't just give in and get birth control pills. At first I was being careful, you know, safe sex and all. But then after six months or so, Ben wanted me to get the pill so he could stop using a condom. He just started hounding me about it, getting demanding and calling me âold-fashioned.' So, I got stubborn and said no, that I wasn't ready. Then, as you know, I discovered he was cheating on me and that was the end of us.”
Nikki stopped walking and looked at Rachel to try to gauge her reaction. “I know you must think I'm really lame and backward.”
Rachel gave Nikki's hand a squeeze and said, “I don't think that at all. It's your choice what you use or don't use. Ben seemed like a nice enough guy when you first started dating him, but lately he started treating you badly, standing you up and stuff like that. I'd even seen him scoping out other women when he was with you⦠I just didn't know how to tell you about that. And, now that I know everything, I think he's a real douche bag! You're better off without him.”
“I suppose so,” Nikki responded. She was glad to be through with him, but it still hurt.
“Hey, I know I'm right,” Rachel said as they started walking again. “Tonight let's just have some funâkeep it light. Flirt with some hot guys and get a little drunk.”
Feeling better having dished it through, Nikki said, “That sounds like a plan!”
That night the girls
gathered at the tiny two-bedroom apartment Nikki and Kim shared in the Village. They put some finishing touches on their makeup and admired each other's outfits before heading out. Pickup joint or not, Club X was the girls' favorite club, in part because Rachel knew one of the bouncers who always let them jump the line. If they were very lucky, they didn't even have to pay the cover. They enjoyed parading past all the people waiting patiently in line and then walking directly into the club as the velvet rope was lifted just for them.
Earlier that evening, Nikki had made a decision. Since it was out with the old boyfriend, it would also be out with the old, shy Nikki and in with a hot new look. To accomplish this, she had put on brighter makeup than usual and had done her long hair in a sexy, fun style. Nikki had also borrowed one of Kim's thigh-high miniskirts and a tight blouse and had put on her highest platform pumps.
Someday she would have to replace her white modest underwearâher “mommy-boughts,” as Nikki called themâwith something more risqué. However, for now at least the rest of her look was
flossy
, as Rachel would say. Nikki wondered why she hadn't dressed a bit flashier before to show off her long, lean legs and other assets.
As they did their usual parade past the waiting line of clubbers, Nikki felt a little giddy with excitement over her new style and added a little more swing to her hips as she walked. Glancing at the line, she could see some of the guys eyeing her up and down as she strutted by them. She did not plan to “go to the boneyard,” as Rachel so crudely put it, with anyone tonight, but Nikki hoped to have a little fun flirting with a hot guy or two.
The club was just starting to fill as they entered, so they were able to grab a table fairly close to the small dance floor. The DJ was playing loud, thumping music, even though no one was dancing yet. They ordered some drinks from the bar and settled in to lie in wait for hot guysâor any guys that might want to dance or flirt.
Kim watched Nikki sipping her usual martini and asked how she was feeling.
“I'm fineâactually I feel good. I'm thinking it's out with the old boyfriend and in with the new one, although I don't really expect to meet anyone special here tonight. I mean, really, does anyone ever meet Mr. Right at a pickup bar?” Nikki asked her friends.
“Yeah, I think we'd have better luck on one of those online dating sites,” Amy agreed.
Rachel shot Amy a look. “You know what? You need a spark in your ass.” She looked around the table for support, but the other two girls just stared at her blankly. Rachel continued, “You've got to put yourself out there. And, anyway, who said we're looking for Mr. Right? We are all way too young to get stuck fucking one guy for the
rest
of
our
lives
!” she finished, as if it were a death sentence.
Kim joined in, saying, “Aren't we here to just have some fun tonight? Let's get out there and dance.”
“That's the spirit,” said Rachel. “I'll buy the next round for anyone who asks a guy to dance.”
“Deal,” said Kim and Amy at the same time. Amy immediately looked around for a likely target. Amy might be a little shy, but she was also broke and would happily ask someone to dance if that would get her a free drinkâmaybe two if the guy also bought her one.
With almost no effort, the two girls found two guys willing to hit the dance floor, although some might say Amy cheated a little because she asked someone she knew from college who just happened to be there, decidedly just friend material but still fine to hang with for a while.
The girlfriends had been there for a couple hours, had a few drinks, and danced a little when they saw three gorgeous guys grab an open table across the room.
“Now that's hunkalicious,” said Rachel, looking at them with interest. “Dibs on the tall one!”
“Wow, they are all so good-looking,” sighed Amy.
“You go, girl,” Kim urged Amy with an encouraging smile. “If you walk over, I'll go with you.”
Nikki sipped her drink and said, “I'll hold the table, and I'm thinking I'll just enjoy watching tonight. You all go though, since there are only three of them anyway.”
Glancing over again, Rachel announced with exasperation, “Look at themâ¦how quickly they operate. They've already moved on those slutty girls over there, and we're too late!”
With that Rachel, Kim, and Amy turned their attention elsewhere, and pretty soon they were all dancing again with various guys, both old acquaintances and new prospects. Nikki was still holding the table and had turned down a couple offers to dance.
What is with me?
Nikki wondered. She needed to get out of the funk she had slipped into this evening.
Looking around, she saw that two of the gorgeous hunks were at the bar talking to different girls than before, but the third guy, the one that appealed the most to her, was still sitting there. He noticed her looking at him and smiled from across the room. Nikki tentatively returned the smile before looking away. She looked down at her drink and realized she wanted a refill, so she got up and headed to the bar, waving at Amy to get her to come back and hold the table. By this time the club was packed, and Nikki had to push her way into the crowd at the bar, but with so many bartenders, she wouldn't wait long to get another cosmo, her martini of choice.
While waiting, Nikki thought again about how cute the guy who had smiled at her wasâjust her typeâand then she chortled slightly.
Well, of course he is. Men that handsome are everyone's type.
She couldn't guess his height because he was sitting, but he was clearly well built, muscular but not over the top. With his movie-star blond hair and finely chiseled face, he reminded her of the Greek god Adonis, remembered from her college lit class.
Hmmm
. She wondered what his voice sounded like and what color his eyes were, maybe blue.
Well, she would play Aphrodite to his Adonis anytimeâ¦or was it Daphne
, she mused, still laughing at herself as she pictured the two of them rolling around, fucking in the clouds like Greek gods would do. College seemed like a long time ago, but it was all coming back to her now.
As she turned away from the bar with her martini, Nikki almost bumped into her Adonis fantasy, who was standing right behind her.
“Oh hi,” Nikki muttered, acutely embarrassed that she had been lusting after him. She tried to sidle by, but the bar area was very crowded. She wondered if her face was blushing bright red.
Her fantasy turned out to have a very deep, sensual voice. “Hi. Ah, actually I was coming over to say hello to you,” he responded. “I saw you across the room and⦔ He trailed off as if unsure what to say next.
“Hey, do you want to dance?” he asked abruptly.
“Well, ah, maybe, but I just got a fresh drink,” Nikki said as she continued to ponder his deep, masculine voiceâjust the kind that made her insides tingle with excitement. The crush around the bar forced them to stand very close to each other, and she could almost feel his warmth as she looked up into his
blue
eyesâyes, they were Greek-god blue, she realized. Some might call the color sky-blue or cerulean, but for her it would be named after the gods from now on.
“Oh, of course, how stupid of me,” he said, interrupting her musings.
“But I'd be happy to sit and talk with you,” Nikki quickly interjected.
“Great. Follow me,” he said before leading her back to his table, which was now crowded with guys and girls. He grabbed two chairs and pulled them slightly away, seeming to want a chance to talk with her alone. With the thumping music and everyone talking loudly, they only needed to be a few feet away to converse out of the entire table's earshot.
“I'm Hunter,” he said, sticking his hand out to shake hers.
“Nice to meet you. I'm Nikki, and I'm here with my friends over there,” she said, gesturing across the room.
“Yes, I know. I've been waiting for a chance to talk with you,” he said. “You'reâ¦ahâ¦pretty.”
His deep voice and his sweet compliment did wonders for her moodâand for other parts of her too. “Thanks. I could say the same about you,” she said, smiling at him. “Ummm, not that you're pretty, of course⦠Justâ¦ahâ¦good-looking,” she added, embarrassed for having called a grown man pretty.
Eventually the others went out to the dance floor, and Nikki was alone with him. They talked and flirted for more than an hour, mostly about clubs and bands they liked, and the whole time Nikki felt a growing attraction to him. He was so very hot! When their knees accidentally bumped under the table, the sexual electricity was enough to make both of them fall silent and just stare at each other.
Nikki made a mental note not to get carried away, but it was clear Hunter seemed interested in her. She kept reminding herself that while he may look like Adonis, that didn't mean he was a nice guy and, anyway, thinking again of her lit class, Nikki remembered that the Greek gods often were not very nice, especially to such plain-Jane, mere mortals like her.
Nikki was giggling about something Hunter had whispered in her ear when Rachel caught them by surprise, interrupting them loudly.
“Hi! I'm Rachel, Nikki's friend,” she announced. Then she grabbed an empty chair and sat down right next to Nikki. Amy and Kim had finished dancing, and Rachel waved them over to their new table. When they arrived, Nikki introduced Hunter to the girls, and they sat down too.
Then the other two guys, whose names turned out to be Rob and Dave, returned without their dance partners. Rachel seemed engrossed in watching one of them stuff a piece of paper into his pocket, and then she turned and looked toward Nikki. Scowling, Rachel made a slight, secretive nod of her head toward the guys, but Nikki couldn't guess the message her friend was trying to convey.
The one Rachel had called dibs on earlier, Rob, said, “Hey, I'm going to the bar. Anyone want anything?”
Nikki hadn't finished her drink, but the other girls all ordered something. After he left, Amy and Kim started talking to Hunter and Dave, but Rachel kept glancing back at the bar with a disgusted look on her face. Nikki wondered what was going on. Was Rachel so thirsty that she couldn't wait another minute for her drink? Nikki was just about to offer Rachel a sip of her cosmo when Rob returned.
“That will be thirteen dollars each with tip,” he announced, and the surprised girls looked at each other.
They all dug into their purses and gave Rob the money as Kim whispered to Amy, “What a cheapskate.”
The girls could tell that Nikki really liked Hunter, so they continued to hang out with the other two guys. The DJ had increased the house music to an ear-splitting level, forcing them to nearly yell back and forth as they got to know each other, while Nikki and Hunter continued to whisper quietly to each other, their heads practically touching. The club was completely packed now with people crowded all around them.
Kim leaned over and whispered into Amy's ear, “Something seems to be bugging Rachel, but I can't figure it out.”
“I know. I've seen her giving Rob dirty looks,” Amy responded quietly.
“He does seem to be working the room. Look! He's getting the phone number of the girl who just bumped into him,” Kim noted with some annoyance. “I know Rachel thought he was cute earlier, but he's hitting on everything in a skirt.”
“And I've also seen Dave getting phone numbers from multiple women. What's their deal?” commented Amy.
At that point, they saw Hunter pulling out a pen and a piece of paper identical to the one that Rob had just used.
“Stop right there!” Rachel yelled loudly at Hunter from across the table. “You're all just a bunch of cheapskate playas, and you”âshe pointed at Hunterâ“are not going to get Nikki's phone number. I've been watching you guys all evening busily collecting girls' phone numbers like it's some kind of game. Are you keeping score, or is each one a score?” she demanded, standing up as Amy and Kim rose with her.
“What?” said Nikki. “That's not true, is it?” She looked at Hunter with indecision.
“Come on, Nikki. Stand up,” urged Kim. “Rachel's right. You shouldn't give this jerk your phone number. You don't need another dirtbag in your life right now.”
“Hey, wait a minute! Where do you get off calling Hunter a dirtbag?” Rob yelled, also standing up.
Reaching for Nikki's hand, Rachel told her emphatically, “They are all jerks who'll say anything to get a girl's number. And if you look at the type of slutty girls they're after, I'm sure they only want one thing. Isn't that
right
, Rob?” Turning to look at him, Rachel added, “I even heard you just now lying to that girl over there, telling her you're a doctor!
Really?
A cheapskate doctor that asks for money after offering to buy you a drink.”
Dave jumped into the fray, adding in a placating tone, “Yes, we
really
are doctors! We just finished our residencies today, so we're kinda broke, but we are all officially doctors now. We're celebrating, that's all.”
“Celebrating!” Rachel squawked. “You're celebrating by trying to bone as many women as possible!” Looking back over her shoulder as she tugged Nikki away, Rachel yelled, “Creeps!”
Calling after them into the noisy club, Rob angrily yelled, “What of it? It's our business what we do! I've scored a long list of numbers, and I didn't ask for yours, did I?” As he sat back down, he muttered, “Wouldn't want to bang her anyway!”
Then Nikki broke free of Rachel's hold and went back to Hunter. “Is any of this true?” she asked him.
Hunter paused, too long in Nikki's opinion, and finally said, “Well, yes. It's just a stupid game, that's all.” Reaching out a hand, he pleaded, “Let me explain. It's⦔