Players, Bumps and Cocktail Sausages (8 page)

“No, you either treat me as if I’m in the way, or you’re indifferent. Have I done something?”

She sighed. “You’ve not done anything. I have.”

The colour drained from my face. “What?” I whispered.

“All of our plans have changed, and it’s my fault. Do you think it’s easy to see the disappointment in your eyes knowing that I’m the cause? I’m angry because I hurt you and I’m angry at you for not understanding.”

“That’s shit. How many times have I told you I understand? I do, Abby, and I’ve never tried to make you feel bad about it. I am disappointed; I can’t help it, but I’ve never tried to make you feel worse about it. If you’re feeling guilty, that’s on you.”

Now I was pissed off. How dare she blame me when all I’d done was support her? I’d encouraged her to go for the Deputy Head of English and then the Head of English jobs. I was the one waiting in the car after her interview and taking her out to dinner after. How fucking dare she suggest that I want a child over her career aspirations?

“Well thank you very much! Now I feel a whole lot better!” she shouted.

“Why’re you being like this? I’m not fighting with you so lower your voice and talk to me the way you used to. What is going on?”

Her face reddened. She was angry. Well so was I.

“You’re making me out to be the bad one.”

I threw my arms up in exasperation. “I’m not making you out to be anything!”

“Don’t think I don’t know that look your mum gave you when you said we’re waiting to have a baby.”

“What look?”
Jesus, I swear she sees what she wants to.

“She knew it was because of me.”

“So!”

Abby glared. “So?”

“Yeah. So. It doesn’t matter whose idea it was. We’re married, Abby, so I’ll fucking stick by whatever you want to do. I don’t care if my mum or your parents want a grandchild now if one of us isn’t ready, for whatever reason, we’re waiting.”

Tears filled her eyes, and she leant back against the wall. What the fuck now?

“I hate the way things are between us,” she whispered.

“So do I. Why is it like this? I don’t resent you for wanting to wait.”

“I feel like you do.”

“Well I’m telling you I don’t. What more can I do, Abby? Why can’t you believe me?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because I know how much having a family means to you.”

“It means a lot, but I don’t need it right this second. I thought it meant a lot to you too?”

“It did.” She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again they were distant. “It does, but I can’t even think about it right now. There’s too much going on. I’d rather get my career to where I want it now. It’ll be harder to do it with a baby.”

“Fine,” I said. “That’s fine. I’ve never said it isn’t. You’re making this a much bigger deal than it has to be, and I don’t understand why. If you’re worried about what my mum thinks, I’ll have a word with her, but you know she loves you too. As long as we’re happy she’s happy.”

“Oh, come on. She’s much closer to Cole.”

“What? Is this jealousy because you think my mum prefers her son-in-law to you?”
Fuck is she eight?

“Don’t look at me like that!” she growled. “You have no idea!”

“You’re right, I don’t, but that’s because you’re not making any damn sense!”

“I’m just sick of being the one that’s making you unhappy.”

“I’m unhappy because you’ve been cold and distant recently. We’re waiting to have a baby, fine. Let’s leave it at that and not mention it for a year or so. Can we please just get back to normal now?”

“So that’s it? Topic closed, and everything’s fine?”

Wasn’t that what she wanted?

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’ll warm some plates, I hate chow mien cold.”

Turning around, I walked deeper in the kitchen and away from her. Hopefully she’d calm down now. That had to be one of the most ridiculous and pathetic arguments we’d ever had. I still didn’t get the crap about my mum preferring Cole; she’d never treated them any different. She saw them both more because of Everleigh. And because Abby worked a lot!

I shoved two plates in the microwave, ready to turn on when the Chinese arrived.

After our awful evening yesterday I’d arranged to drop Everleigh off at mum’s and for Oakley to pick her up from there. Me and Abby needed a weekend away, somewhere we could relax without the monotonous everyday life stuff. We hadn’t talked properly or had sex in three weeks, and I was starting to feel like the distance between us was unfixable.

I had to do something so I’d booked a Bed and Breakfast near the coast for Friday and Saturday night, and I was on my way to the school to surprise her.

She shared car rides with another teacher so I’d spoken to Louise about not waiting around for Abby after school was out.

Everything was planned, apart from her weekend bag. There was no way I was going to pack for her because my choices would just end up being wrong and/or inappropriate for public. We had time though. It was only three-thirty.

I’d learnt not to come until fifteen minutes after school was out as it was hectic before. I also didn’t like the young girls looking at me, and Abby didn’t like getting comments about her ‘hot’ husband. Ten years ago I would’ve been eating it up.

I walked through the front entrance and nodded to the girl still at reception. I knew her, so she waved me through, but I couldn’t remember her name, so I didn’t stop to make an idiot out of myself. Abby’s classroom was at the back of the school – about as far away as possible. Surely English was an important subject; it should be closer.

Strolling through the halls brought back so many memories of me and Abby in school. We were inseparable from the minute we got to together; that seemed like such a long time ago now. I’d give anything to get that back again. I wanted her to look at me like I was the only guy on earth again, and I hoped this weekend would help with that.

“Hello, Jasper,” Louise said as she stepped out of her classroom and closed the door.

“Hey, Louise.”

“On your way to pick her up?”

No, just here for the view!
“Yeah.”

“I’ve been so excited for you all day. It’s been torture not telling her. She’s going to love a romantic weekend by the sea.”

“Yeah, I hope so. You didn’t tell her, right?”

“Course not. Anyway, I’d better go, I’ve got my own romantic weekend planned with a stack of marking!” She nodded her head towards her bulging, oversized leather bag.

“Sounds fun.”

“Doesn’t it,” she replied sarcastically and smiled. “Have a good weekend.”

“Thanks, try to relax too.”

“I will. Bye.”

I watched her disappear around the corner then made my way to the English block. Abby’s door was shut, and I tried to picture her face as I told her where we were going.

I pushed the door opened and immediately wished I hadn’t.

Chapter Nine

My stomach lurched. I stood there staring at my wife with her tongue down another man’s throat. I’d been suspicious of her for a while but even so, I couldn’t quite believe she’d do it. They hadn’t seen me yet. I wanted to scream at her and knock that bastard the fuck out, but I couldn’t move. I was stuck watching her cut my heart out and piss all over the life we’d planned.

She pulled away first and smiled at him the way she used to at me. Brett. Then, finally, she looked over and her face fell.

“Oh no,” she whispered, pushing the prick away. “Jasper…”

I held my hand up; there was no explanation for what she’d done.

“Look, man,” Brett said, and before he got any further, I launched myself forwards. Abby screamed for me to stop, but I couldn’t. I was panting.

Adrenaline mixed with fury and betrayal coursed through my veins. My heavily clenched fist collided with his jaw, and he stumbled backwards, falling over the desk he’d just had my wife leant against.

“Fuck you!” I spat at him and then looked at Abby. “You made me forgive you and trust you again. You promised you’d never hurt me like that, but your word means shit. Our marriage means shit. I’m filing for divorce. You stay the hell away from me and my family.”

Usually when she cried it made me feel like crap, but I didn’t care now – in that sense – she hadn’t changed at all. He was welcome to her.

I turned on my heel, ignoring her pleas for me to come back and talk about it, and stormed out of the school.

I got to my car, and it was only when I turned the key in the ignition that it hit me. She’d cheated again, and my marriage was over. Swallowing hard, I pulled out of the parking space and drove off, just in time for her to come running through the double doors.

My eyes were heavy, and I leant against the bar, propped up by my arm, downing yet another double JD – straight. My phone had been ringing non-stop until I blocked her number. Then it started ringing non-stop from my sister’s number. I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I wanted to drink myself into oblivion.

Minutes, or hours, later – I could no longer tell which – Cole sat down beside me. My sister had sent her husband out searching for me.

“She a fucking bitch,” I slurred, holding my hand up to get the bartender’s attention.

“What happened? Oakley’s been going crazy trying to get hold of you. Abby called and told us to find you; she’s worried too.”

I laughed humourlessly. “My wife is worried is she?”

“What happened?”

“Went to meet her from work. Saw her kissing that Brett twat.”

“Shit,” Cole hissed. “I’m sorry, man.” He shook his head, and I knew he was trying to think of something else to say. I would’ve been the same. What the hell do you say in situations like that?

“I think I should get you home.”

“Home. I don’t have a home now.”

“Come on, you do. I don’t think Abby is there, she said she was at her mum’s and that we should find you.”

“I don’t care where she is.”

She could be with Brett. I clenched my jaw and shoved away the image of them together.

“I can’t go back there now. How do I know she’s not had him back there? I don’t want to be around anything that reminds me of her.”

“Come to ours then.”

I snorted. “And let Everleigh see me like this?”

“It’s almost one in the morning, Jasper,” he replied.

“You got anything back at yours?”

“Bourbon and Southern Comfort. And some girlie shit Oakley drinks, tastes like fruit.”

I laughed. “Bourbon’s mine. No mention of Abby to Oakley.”

He frowned.

“I mean it. She’ll want to talk. I just want to drink.”

“You’re not going to be able to do that for long.”

“I know. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

He held his hands up. “Alright. Let’s go, and you’d better be able to walk because I’m not carrying your arse out of here.”

“Cheers, man. Your support is just what I need right now.”

He smiled and chucked some money down on the bar, downing my shot that had just been placed in front of me.

“Jasper, where the hell have you been?” Oakley asked sounding more like Mum than I had ever heard her before.

I shrugged with one shoulder, hoping that I didn’t look too drunk.

“Bar.”

“Why?”

“To get a drink.”

She glared.

“Jasper, why don’t you go through to the kitchen? You know where the booze is kept,” Cole said.

“What?” Oakley hissed. “Someone needs to tell me what’s going on.”

I held my hands above my head and walked past them to the kitchen. I did not need to have that discussion tonight. I did need drink though.

Opening the cupboard slowly so it wouldn’t creek, I honed in on their conversation. Now I’d see if Cole was going to tell his wife or keep his word. There wasn’t fucking much keeping of words lately.

“What on earth is going on? Why is he in that state?” she asked.

“Calm down. He’s fine. He doesn’t want to talk about it tonight, so we need to go in there and have a drink with him.”

“Like he needs more drink! You know what’s wrong, don’t you?”

I practically heard him gulp. “I do, but he’s asked me not to say anything, so please don’t ask me to tell you, baby.”

She sighed. “Fine. He’s okay though, right?”

“He will be.”

Would I? I had no idea what I was going to do next, apart from necking the Bourbon.

Cole and Oakley joined me just as I sat down and poured myself a drink. Oakley got herself a glass of water, and I was about to protest when I realised that Cole was going to drink with me so one of them would have to have a clear head for Everleigh in the morning. Shit, I was going to have to stay in the spare room until I’d sobered up tomorrow.

“Okay?” Oakley said and sat beside me. She tried to keep her voice light, but I could see the worry in her eyes. Something I think would’ve been easier if we weren’t so close. Worrying about the people you love was exhausting.

“Fine,” I replied with a smile. I downed the glass in two large gulps.

No one knew what to say. I could tell my little sister was desperate to start the Spanish inquisition, but I knew she wouldn’t because I didn’t want her to.

“I hope you weren’t saving this for anything,” I said to Cole, raising the bottle before pouring myself some more.

“What’s mine is yours, mate, you know that.” I had a feeling if I hadn’t just been cheated on he would be wrestling some of it off me for himself.

I downed another glass.

Shortly after sitting down, Oakley went up to bed. She had to be up at the arse crack of dawn with Everleigh, and she wasn’t getting anything out of me. And I expected she thought I would open up with Cole and have a man chat, or whatever it was women thought men to do.

I drank until the sun came up.

My head pounded, and mouth was as dry as a desert. I’d never felt so rough after a night on the drink before. Groaning, I rubbed my temples to try to stop the throbbing pain.

Downstairs I could hear Everleigh gibbering away and as much as I love that girl, I couldn’t face playing hide and seek just yet. I closed my eyes and willed my hangover to go.