PLAYED - A BRITISH BAD BOY ROMANCE (30 page)

This is sex,
I thought to myself.

This is what I’ve been missing.

It’s fucking incredible.

I felt like a missing
part of me was finally being fulfilled. An aching chasm, both physically and
emotionally, was at the pinnacle of fulfillment.

Trent supplied that
through a thick, studded cock.

Anyone else would
have fucked this up, but it just felt so
right
with him. It felt like everything was falling into place.

I couldn’t explain
it. At the time, I ignored most of the thoughts, or at least tried to.
It’s the moment,
I thought to myself.
It’s just because we’re having sex. He has
to leave soon, anyway.

The thought of him
leaving my side chilled me to my very core. He noticed, slowing down and
pressing his lips to my ear.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”

“No, don’t lock me
out. What is it?”

“It’s just…you’re
leaving soon, right?”

He paused, smiling
knowingly. “I’ll be here until dawn… And dawn is hours away…”

Chapter
15

Trent

We fucked long into
the night, occasionally stopping to rest. We’d drink water (or in my case,
sports drinks that practically dripped with electrolytes) and rest our aching
muscles for a few minutes before ramping it back up.

I couldn’t believe
how amazing it felt.

The night I lost my
virginity, I was 14 and the chick was 16. She was some older girl who was this
total slut that I met at some party I was
way
too young to have been in.

Half-drunk, we made
out in a closet before she whipped out my dick, sucking me down like a champ.
It was a spontaneous experience that grew me up
real
fast, especially when she pushed her panties aside and
straddled my erection.

I felt spent but
filthy after that.

But the confidence
boost was incredible.

It helped that I had
a naturally attractive build. All I had to do was work on it properly. With the
burst in self-assurance from my first lay, I was practically drowning in pussy.

It suited me just
fine.

Then, when my little
afterschool band and I swapped a few members out and started playing decent
gigs, got the right attention, and wound up with an LP demo sent out to the
right people in the right places…

Huh,
I thought to myself, pulling Angel down
hard on my studded dick again.
I guess
I’ve never fucked someone I actually cared about.

Just acknowledging
that she was anything more than a temporary fix was monumental alone.

Angel came hard on my
cock time and time again, surprisingly ready for more. I held back my own
orgasm for as long as I could – eager to draw out her pleasure – but there was
only so much that I could withstand.

This time, we came
together. It was an incredible, heart-pumping experience that absolutely defied
explanation.

We nestled up
together in my bed, her head easily resting in the crook of my shoulder. My
body tried to relax into the post-orgasmic stupor that it loved so much, but I
defied my lethargic nature to stay up with her.

Up until the dawning
light.

 
“I wish I could go with you,” Angel
whispered.

“Do you want to?” I
asked.

She immediately
propped herself up on an elbow, eager to give me her undivided attention. I
could see tentative anticipation on her face.

“What do you mean?”
She asked quietly.

“Well…it’s just us on
the road, right? The bus has room for you, and it’s not like we have a lot of
shows left. We’re pretty much heading straight home after this.”

I could see the cogs spinning
in her head.

“I mean…where will I
go when the tour ends? You’re not coming back to Alabama...”

“No, probably not,” I
told her. “But I think that you and I can probably figure it out when we get to
that point.”

I felt her heart
practically stop against me.

“You…you would…no, there’s no way…”

“I mean it,” I told
her, smiling warmly. “I feel a real connection to you. And if it doesn’t work
out, so what? We get you on a bus and you just come straight back. No harm in
trying, right?”

“Do you…seriously
want to keep me around?” She asked quietly.

“I told you, Angel. I
feel
something with you. Come with
me,” I replied.

“Are you…are you
sure?”

“
Positive.
”

“I won’t, like,
distract you?”

“Not at all.”

“What about the
others?”

“The others?
Fuck
the others.”

“Trent, you can’t
just–”

“I certainly
can.
If they have a problem with you,
then they have a problem with
me
. I’m
the driving force behind this group. They can’t go on without me. You’re not a
damn Yoko.”

“Who?”

“Yoko Ono… The Beatles?”

Her eyes were still
searching for understanding.

“I’ll explain it to
you later,” I said, laughing. “Just come.”

 
“Okay,” she nodded. “Let’s do this.”

“Do you need
anything?”

She thought for a
moment.

“My backpack. It’s
back home. My social security card, my state ID.”

I jumped up from the
bed, throwing clothes on. “We don’t have a lot of time,” I warned her, lifting
a blind with a fingertip. The sun’s rays were already penetrating through the
semi-darkness.

Steven was going to
be
pissed
.

I threw a couple of
her clothes towards her. “Angel, if we’re going, we need to do it now
.
”

“Okay,” she agreed,
tossing on her miniskirt and shirt. She didn’t bother with anything else.
Within minutes, we were in the rental jeep and flying down the Interstate.

Keeping a tired but
aware eye out for any state troopers, perched along the shoulder of the
highway, my priority was to safely put considerable distance between the bus
and us.

Her little ramshackle
bar was an hour-ish away, and we
definitely
had less than two hours to spare.

As I pushed that
little rental Wrangler up to eighty miles per hour, a concerning thought
occurred to me. I quickly patted at my pockets.

Fuck.

In the rush, I’d
forgotten my phone.

Steven was going to
be
seriously
pissed.

Chapter
16

Angel

Trent drove like a
maniac, whipping between the few cars along the Interstate and keeping us over
eighty miles per hour the entire way. The jeep felt like it was going to rattle
apart as we soared along.

With one hand firmly
on the steering wheel and another clasped around my thigh, his eyes were
fiercely locked to the road.

“We should slow
down,” I warned him.

I could already feel
the tension building.

“No,” he told me, a
hint of his arrogance shifting back into his voice. “I know what I’m doing.”

“You’re driving like
a crazy person,” I pleaded. “They’re not going to leave without us, right?
Just…please, please slow it down. For me.”

He coldly turned to
regard me for a moment, but then visibly softened. “You haven’t met my band
manager…the guy’s a complete prick. He all but has it out for me. Thinks I’m a
hotheaded, egotistical jerk.”

“Are you?” I asked,
trying to swallow the mounting pit in my throat. I could feel anxiety begin to
take its hold.

“Of course I fucking
am,” Trent grinned. “But our manager is paid to
handle
that. If he can’t then, well, tough shit.”

I struggled to nod.

“Listen, I don’t
think I can stress too much how
little
time
we have here, so I’m going to need you to be in-and-out when we arrive,” he
reiterated. “We don’t really have the time to hang around, alright? If you need
to say some goodbye’s you can do it by phone once we’re on the road.”

“Trent,” I croaked
weakly.

“You run in, take
care of what you’ve got to and lets get out of here.”

I was getting tunnel
vision now.

Please, not now.

Be strong.

Be brave.

Trent was saying
something else, but I couldn’t hear him.

I focused on the
first thing to jump out at me – the logo on the glove compartment. I made it my
core, my stone, mentally latching onto it with all of my strength.

It’s okay,
I thought to myself.

Just keep it all together.

You’ll be so happy if you just hold on.

He’s taking you away from here.

His voice came
through again. He sounded urgent. I wondered what the matter was.

I faintly felt
something around my face. I was being tugged away.

No! My stone! I need it!

I panicked, trying to
flail.

Trying to tug at what
was holding me.

My fingers clawed
wildly at my face.

“…Down, Angel! Calm
down!
”

I paused, feeling my
chest heave over and over. I realized that I was holding his hand – rather,
that Trent was holding my chin in his fingers, his eyes locked onto mine, and
that my fingers were trying to pry him free from me.

We weren’t moving.

“Angel, what’s wrong?
What is it?”

“I…I just…so fast…I can’t…”

“Angel, settle
down…we’ve stopped.”

I focused on that,
pushing down the crippling anxiety that had infiltrated my mind. I clamped my
eyes shut and bit down on my lip, concentrating on our immobile position.

A car rocketed past,
and the jeep swayed slightly. I almost leapt back into gripping terror, but
Trent was pulling me close, stroking my hair.

“Look, it’s okay,
Angel, everything’s okay…it’s all fine now. I’m here.”

I fought back a sob.

Be brave, Angel.

“Are you…can you tell
me what’s going on?” He asked quietly.

I shook my head.

No. He can’t know.

He can’t know that I’m a freak.

“Okay,” Trent
whispered, allowing me to slide back into place. “I know the jeep rattling like
that must have been scary. We’ll just have to deal with my manager when we see
him.”

I nodded aloofly.

My stone,
I thought, looking at the
logo on the glove compartment again.
My
stone’s back.

We rode in silence
for the rest of the trip, never going higher than sixty miles per hour. After
about forty minutes, we arrived at the Riverton Bar, and I extracted myself
from the jeep and let myself in through the back door.

“We’re going to be
running late,” Trent reminded me. “Do you need me to give you a hand?”

I shook my head.
“I’ll be quick, I promise.”

“Okay,” he nodded.
“Once we leave, we’re not coming back anytime soon. If you can’t carry it,
leave it. Clothes, books, just leave it all. I’ll take care of anything you
need.”

“Ok,” I answered,
rushing inside.

I knew I didn’t need
much.

A moment later my
hands descended upon my backpack, and I quickly checked through the contents.

I liked to call it my
Breakaway Bag
. A sturdy, waterproof
backpack, it contained everything that I needed to scamper off under the
moonlight. I checked for a few discreet pockets –
social security card, state ID,
shit like that – and then did a
very brisk inventory of the rest.

Towels.

A few changes of
clothes.

Extra socks and
underwear.

Pads and tampons.

Cheap first-aid kit.

Throw blanket.

Folding knife.

Taser.

Yeah, I was golden.

I had just enough
room to shove in a couple of small items of some sentimental value – a birthday
card that Old Greg had given me – when I realized that I was abandoning him.

He’d done so much for
me.

He’d never know what
happened.

I snatched one of my
old notebooks back out of the trash, tracking down the only writing implement I
could find – a thick permanent marker. Hastily, I scribbled a clumsy note for
him:

Old Greg,

Thank you for everything, from the bottom of my heart. I’m going on a
little adventure and I might not be coming back. I’ll call and tell you all
about it…

I’ll never forget you, and I wish you the best.

Angel

I pinned the note up
above my cot, grabbed the trash bag, slung on the
Breakaway Bag
, and locked up on my way back out.

He’d be here in a few
hours probably. That was his routine on the weekends, after all. Luckily, I
didn’t work tonight either, so he had time to find someone to replace me.

I hoped, at any rate.

After turning the key
in the lock for the last time, I realized that I didn’t know what to do with
it. Thinking quickly, I slipped it beneath an easy chair by the door.

Hopping back into the
jeep with Trent, I avoided his glance. I knew he’d be mad that I took so long.

“No second thoughts?”

I looked back up at
him.

He wasn’t furious.

He was
pleased.

“I’m ready.”

“Good,” he smiled,
twisting the key in the ignition.

His hand clasped onto
my thigh as we kicked out gravel from beneath the tire. My hand rested upon
his, enjoying his warmth, his pressure, and his companionship.

I felt like I was
where I needed to be.

I felt like, just
this once, I belonged.