Play Dirty: Devil's Mustangs MC (23 page)

“I – I don’t know why I am laughing.” I honestly have no clue. But for some reason, despite everything that has happened, I feel like I am about to burst. “I think I’m happy. No, I am really, really happy.”

He touches my rosy cheeks, flushed from sex and the hot water and says, “So am I, Michelle.” He grins as he adds, “But I hate being wrinkled like a goddamn prune. Where are your towels?”

I look around bemused as I notice that the laundry is still in the upstairs laundry room, unfolded. I offer to go get us a set, but he’s already up. I point the way towards the end of the hall, and I watch as he hops out and makes his way towards the open door.

His shadow stops midway as I can see him turn towards something catching his attention. A part of me grows numb as I realize what he has seen. I walk out of the tub and grab the bright blue robe hanging on the door hook as I make my way towards Maddie’s bedroom.

CAL

I lean against the white doorframe as I peer into the room. Michelle appears behind me, wrapped in a silk robe. My voice lowers as I try to temper the emotions I am feeling. I ask her, “Is this…?”

“Yeah,” She says as she places a hand on my bare shoulder, “This is where Maddie lived when she was with me.”

I brush off her hand and walk farther into the room. It’s not what I had expected it to look like. There’s a purple and green bedspread on a white metal bed. Framed flowers are on the walls, and the desk is covered in neon colored pens and pencils. There’s still unfinished homework waiting to be completed and a new book bag with tags on it ready to be taken to school.

This could have belonged to any other girl in the world, but not my Maddie. Her bedroom at home is full of hand-me-down furniture I got from the gang. There is the broken wood bed I glued back together myself, and the desk that belonged to a new rider’s dead mother. She painted it black and used highlighters to write funny jokes on them that the guys would entertain her with. The blankets on her bed belonged to Ace when he lived full-time at the house. She stole them off the bed as he moved out. She had to be six or seven then.

Everything in this room feels so sterile in a way. Sure, she has only been living here for a few weeks, but it is like an entirely different world. Is this what a home is supposed to look like or is this Michelle’s fantasy of what it is like to have a daughter just like her?

Michelle returns back to the room with a towel, and I wrap it around my waist. I sink farther into the room, touching the white lace curtain that covers the window and the pastel outfit with the tags on them lying near the bed. Michelle clears her voice as she says, “Maddie picked that outfit out. I was surprised, too, but she said she liked the butterfly on the jacket.”

My blood begins to boil as I think of Michelle taking her shopping, Michelle holding her hand as they crossed the street, Michelle teaching her about this perfect, suburbia life that she could never have without her. I turn around to face her as I say coldly and sarcastically, “Did she, really? How happy you must have been.” 

Michelle can sense something is wrong as she defends herself, “It wasn’t that I was happy. I would have bought her something black and leather if that’s what she wanted.”

“What she wanted was to be home with me, but you kept her from me. Didn’t you?”

“Cal – I—" She stutters as my sudden shift takes her totally off guard. After what just happened in that shower, she wasn’t expecting for me to come out swinging. But now I am seeing everything so much clearer. And it’s time to get this dirty laundry aired.

“You what? You thought you could do better than me? You thought you could replace me and make her life some perfect version? You’re not her mom, Michelle! You’re her fucking teacher, and you had no right to take her from me.”

She stands up straighter, finding herself as she yells even louder, “No, I’m not her mom. But you’re a pretty crummy father to let her sit in that basement while her house gets sprayed in bullets and men she grew up with die all around her! What kind of life do you want her to lead, Cal?”

“I want her to be happy, and that’s with me!” I pound my feet as I charge towards her.

She doesn’t back down, doesn’t even move a muscle as she replies, “I want her to be happy, too. I want her to have a dad. I want her to have a dad who isn’t out killing people in his spare time! I want her to have a dad who can take care of her. And if that means taking her away from you while you get your shit together, I’m happy to have done it!”

I back away quickly and sit on the edge of the bed.

“You grew up like this, Cal. You know what life in a motorcycle gang clubhouse is like. Do you really want that life for Maddie – one where she never knows her father and strange women raise her? Or do you want something better for her?”

“I want her to be with me!” I roar. “I had a fine childhood, Michelle. It wasn’t perfect with school or full lunchboxes, but I turned out fine.”

“But that was you! Maddie is strong, but she’s sweet, and she feels things much more than you know. She’s putting up walls that she can’t break down when she’s around your clubhouse all the time.”

“What the fuck do you know about it, Michelle? You don’t know me, and you don’t know my motherfucking daughter! You come in here and make me fall for you. You show Maddie all these things you think are better, and you make us both forget that we’re not made for this kind of life. And that’s sick. That’s damn sick.”

When I finish my rant, I am out of breath and completely exhausted. Every bit of anger and resentment that I have felt is oozing out of me as I spit my venom. And Michelle just takes it, listening to every word. She knows what she has done is wrong, but yet she stands there more resolved than ever.

Her voice lowers as she says, “I didn’t make you fall for me, and I didn’t show Maddie things that are too good for her.”

I throw my hands in the air and lay back into the bed. Michelle sinks to the floor as her back rests against the purple painted wall. Neither of us dare say a word as we try to come to terms with our anger and our feelings. We have managed to both say our piece. But neither of us knew if we could really express what needed to be said.

A few minutes pass as Michelle continues to look down at her hands twisting in knots. She breaks the silence, “Cal, I know you’re a good father. I’ve seen how much you love her and she loves you. Not a day went by when she didn’t talk about you. She needs you, but she also needs a life where she isn’t afraid to go home.”

I look up towards the ceiling as I turn over Michelle’s words in my head. She’s being sincere and, furthermore, she’s right. I’ve been so blinded by my own wants and desires I failed to see the damage I was doing to my own daughter. A ball of guilt wads up in my throat as I try to choke it down. I mutter, “I know, Michelle. I know.”

“I want to give her everything she needs, but I want to do that with you. I don’t want to be Maddie’s sole guardian, and I certainly don’t want to see her go through the pain of losing you again after all that has happened.”

“You want to do this with me?” I look at her hopefully.

She pounds her head back into the wall as she realizes what she has said. It’s a confession I didn’t expect, though I could feel. She closes her eyes and smiles as she blinks and looks back at me, “Yeah, Cal. I want to do this with you.” She holds her hands out defensively, as if she was preparing for me to attack. “I know, I know that is not the kind of thing that you do – serious, um, things. But I care about you. I may even…”

Something in me falls apart and puts itself back together. I know what she is about to say, and I find my heart leaping and turning as she pauses. I whisper as I finish for her, “love you?”

I stand up and walk towards her, giving her my hand. She stands up next to me as she says softly, “Yeah. I just might.”

“What if I said that I might, too?”

“Love me?” she asks, her head moving towards mine. I feel her breath hitch as she waits for my answer. 

“Love you,” I reply as I take her around her neck and pull her in for a sweet embrace. Her hands grip around my back as I run my fingers through her still wet hair.

She pulls away as she says excitedly, “I’m so sorry, Cal.” I kiss her again wanting her to know that there is nothing to be sorry about. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted to do what was right.”

I pull away slightly as I say, “I know, Michelle. I know. But we’re going to work this out. We’re going to figure it out. You and me, together.” 

CAL

A hand slides his hands down my waist underneath my apron. I jump, turning around with my knife pointed at the body behind me. My hands shake as I try to figure out a way to get out his strong grasp.

The man laughs and I toss the knife down onto the ground.

“What the hell?” I cry out. “What are you doing here, Cal? You scared the crap out of me! You know better!”

“Ha! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you like that. The meeting at the clubhouse got done early, so I figured I’d just come right over.” He pulls my waist into his, his hands still playing with the underside of my black and flour-covered apron. He dips his head down towards my neck, inhaling deeply, “Mmmm… you smell delicious.”

I wrap my arms around his neck as I forget why I’m mad at him, “I probably smell like pesto and basil. I’ve been snacking while I cook.”

“Really?” His dark, messy eyebrows raise up at me curiously, “Can I have a taste?”

I reach behind me, grabbing the ladle I was using to stir the pot of homemade sauce. I lift it to his lips, but he closes them tightly. Instead, he grabs the spoon handle from me and presses it to my mouth. I take in the hot, sweet sauce slowly, letting it sit in my mouth as I taste all the flavors. Cal pulls me in closer and kisses me sweetly, flicking his tongue inside of my lips.

“How does it taste?” I ask as I come up for air, “Does it need more salt? I just can—”

“Shhh.” He places a finger to my red painted lips as he hoists me up quickly onto the cold marble kitchen countertop. His hands slip under my dress and hook around the black lace panties I put on just for him. With one strong pull, he slips them off my hips and down my legs past the black lace top stockings and garter belt. He feels and the material flush against my legs admiringly, “You wore them.”

I tease him as I hitch my legs across his hips, pushing the forming bulge into my exposed pussy. “They were a gift from someone who really, really wanted me to wear them, so how could I not?” I hike up my tight fitting black dress up higher so he can see the entire lace and black ensemble in full view. “Do you approve, Cal?”

His hands trace over the material, examining it with a keen eye. He snaps at the garter belt and ruffles the dainty frills. His voice darkens as he nods, “This is perfect.”

I put on an innocent, naive voice as I ask coyly, “Perfect for what?”

He grabs at my arms and raises them above my head against the kitchen cabinets. The dishes inside rattle with the force of the hit. He presses his lips to mine, taking my breath away instantly. When he pulls away, he looks down at me and says matter-of-factly, “Perfect for fucking you right here and right now.”

I grab him, pulling in for a long deep kiss as my hands slip out of his grasp and began unbuttoning his black, long-sleeved shirt. I pull it off quickly, throwing it into a ball on the kitchen tile. My dress follows, leaving me in my bra, stockings, and garter belt. Our hands frantically paw at one another’s naked skin until he lets me take control. My hand rests on his long cock, using a finger to stroke softly at the pink and pale skin.

He takes my lead, pressing his hand against my pussy, already wet from the anticipation. We both tease at one another, watching the other’s hands as they caress and pet. My body begins to knot up as I start to slide towards his hand. My back arches and my head tilts back. I grab on to his cock and begin to stroke with my palm.

Cal smiles as he lifts his hand to his lips and licks it. He then rests it on the top of my sex and rubs the moisture in. He lets out a soft moan as I hold on to him a bit tighter, the anticipation of the both of us getting off growing in me. A finger parts my folds before slipping in and hooking inside. I cry out and hold on to the cabinet handles for support as he suddenly pushes is all the way, his finger disappearing inside me.

With his other hand, he takes mine and places it back on his cock. It’s a command I am more than willing to follow. He sets the rhythm with his fingers massaging inside of me, and I follow his lead. As he enters, I move upwards. As he exits, I pulse my hands down the shaft. We move slowly, our bodies and breath linking in time.

Cal speeds up, his eyes darkening as they study me. His hand falls to the side of me, pounding into the side of the countertop as I can tell he wants so much more. We both quicken our movements, our hands and fingers moving at breakneck speed. He looks down at me and growls before pushing my hands off of him. His fingers exit me and he pulls me down to the ground. I spin on my heels and drop down on to the countertop, giving him just the right angle to enter me quickly.

“Oh, Michelle!” he cries out as his cock drives itself in. “You feel so fucking good.” Cal moves the hair off of my back and twists his fingers down my spine as he begins to pump into me. He doesn’t slow or hesitate. His dick picks up right where we left off with our fingers. But his length does something to me his fingers never could – it goes so deep I feel like I am about to burst.

I hold on as best as I can as I use my chest to pull my legs up into the air. The cold marble stings my hard nipples through the thin fabric of my lacey bra. He grabs on my legs and hikes them around his back. His cock follows the curve of my pussy as he gets even deeper inside of me.

“Cal!” I cry out as I begin to slip out of my mind and body, “Fuck me, please!”

His cock races inside of me, unrelenting. I feel both of us build as every sensation in me takes over. My skin prickles. My head races. I try to get in a deep breath but I am at a loss. I press up in time to feel every muscle in my body contract and ease. He follows me as I can sense him gripping onto my back for support. His cum shoots up inside of me, mixing in with the rest of my juices.

Cal’s chest falls onto my back despite his cock still resting inside of me. He kisses the length of my spine and the curve of my shoulder. I turn my head to brush my lips against his forehead. And suddenly, I’m laughing. The butterflies that have built up in me release as I can’t stop giggling. We both eye each other as he joins in, his low rumble of a laugh shaking my body.

I look back up at him and smile brightly as I point out jokingly, “I think our pasta sauce burnt.”

He pulls out of me and walks towards the pot still sitting on the low set burners. He takes off the clear metal lid and dips the ladle in, getting a taste of the bright red sauce. “It’s not so bad.” Cal opens the cabinet and pulls out some spices, sprinkling a bit of each one in. As I stand and collect my clothing, he hands the ladle back to me. “Test it out.”

The rich flavors hit me almost immediately. I exclaim, surprised, “Where did you learn how to do that? This sauce is incredible!”

“When you live in a clubhouse full of men, you occasionally pick up some cooking skills from time to time. I didn’t just eat takeout with Maddie.” He winks at me devilishly.

I hand him a plate of the homemade pasta noodles and he mixes them into the pot of sauce. When he hands me my bowl, I have to ask him, “Do you miss it? Living in the clubhouse, I mean.”

He sighs as he walks to the large black table in the dining room. He sits down and takes a bite as I stand waiting for his response. He wipes his mouth with his hand and looks down back at the bowl in front of him. “Sometimes I miss being in the middle of it all. Giving up the vice president position was hell on Earth.”

I sit down slowly, looking at him with empathy. I still can’t believe he made that decision on his own. He knew staying on as vice president meant he would no longer be in the upper echelon, but he also knew he would not have to worry about Maddie or retaliations. He could still be a Mustang for life, but as an elder, he yielded more power than he thought. He could teach the young guns what it meant to ride for life without constantly looking over his shoulders.

I sit next to him and place my hand upon his. I want him to know I am here, that I am happy with the changes I’ve made, too. After everything went down, Jager made me an honorary Mustang for saving Maddie’s life and leading the club to defeat the Coyotes once and for all, completely driving them and their business out of town. I get the option of attending meetings, riding on their runs, and even being present at the boys’ parties. My official colors jacket sits on the couch in the living room, just out of sight for now.

Cal looks into my eyes as she says firmly, “But no, I don’t miss it. When I’m gone from here, I miss you. When I haven’t spoken to Maddie in awhile, I miss her. It’s a different kind of life, that’s for sure. But I don’t want to go back to it. I want to have this pasta here with you and have Maddie home with us.”

“Tonight,” I say excitedly, “tonight.” Both of us have been counting down for weeks until we could have Maddie safely back from her temporary hideout. Every night we would video chat with her, me checking in on her homework progress and Cal giving her updates from the club. We even sprang her out a few days ago to visit Erin in the hospital. Maddie held her hand as she finished her physical therapy session.

We both eat quickly, slurping down our pasta. When our plates are cleared, Cal looks up at the clock on the wall and turns to ask me, “Are you ready for this? It’s going to be a huge change having Maddie here with us.”

“But she will be home, and that’s all that matters to me, Cal. I can get through change. Hell, I took it okay when Erin told me she was moving out to go live with her parents while she recovered. And I thought I could never lose her as a roommate without going crazy.”

“Well, now you have more than just a roommate.” He smiles proudly.

Cal had taken over my space, putting his touches on just about everything. And while I was still getting used to the muddy boots, the motorcycle in the garage, or the men coming in and out to fix the plumbing or redo a few fallen shingles, I was more than thrilled to have him here. Every night I slept more soundly knowing that he was watching over me, and not just from afar.

Cal’s nose wrinkles up as he looks at me with wide eyes, “Should we go now? I mean, it’s only six, but we could get her early…”

I nod enthusiastically, not letting him finish his thought, “Yes! Let’s go get her now! I am so excited.” I stand and grab my jacket off of the couch along with my satchel. My hands shake as they grasp onto my car keys waiting for Cal to follow me.

Cal stands in the dining room, his hands wrapping around his chest. “Do you want to clean up before we go?”

I smile thinking about the girl I was when he met me. The idea of dirty dishes being left out for even an extra minute would have pained me. The leather jacket on the couch without a hanger or a closet would have haunted me. The man standing there laughing at me would have scared me.

But I’m not the same Michelle anymore. I can’t be. I’m the girl who found love in the wrong place, with the wrong man from the wrong place and the wrong family. I am the girl who learned how strong she could be when she got the courage to tackle her fears. And I learned how much my heart could open to someone like Cal or Maddie.

I could never go back to being the teacher with the straight line of desks before her. And if that meant letting in a little chaos rule our lives, then so be it. I was a Devil’s Mustang now. And I rode strong and fast, and I defended the ones I love. No one could take that away from me.

I walk towards Cal slowly, and I grab his hand, pulling him down towards me. I kiss his sweet lips that still taste like the pasta sauce we just shared for dinner. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me off the ground. I kiss his neck as my arms find his strong chest, and I whisper softly into his ear, “Let’s ride.”

THE END