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Chapter 28

Yours. Always.

Thirty seconds.

A minute.

The older man in the next building finally turned off the water and reached for paper towel. His startled gaze connected with mine and I shifted out of view, pressing my back to the wall.

I closed my eyes. Despite my enthusiasm back on my first day in the new office, there was no glass-half-full.

The view sucked.

“See something you like?” A familiar voice had me blinking my eyes open just as Riley dropped into my visitor’s chair.

He took a sip of whatever was in the white styrofoam cup through his straw, looking relaxed and polished in dress pants, a blue shirt, and a red tie.

“How are you?” he asked like nothing had changed in the past week.

“Living the dream.” The lie was easier than I thought. I didn’t sound like a girl who sleepwalked through my days. Who found myself staring at the ceiling at three in the morning, wondering how the hell I’d enjoyed my life before one sexy and infuriating gamer walked into it.

I forced myself to focus on Riley. “How’s Maria?”

“She’s going to be fine, thanks for asking. This is for you.” He held out the drink. “And this.” He leaned forward, his handsome face somber, holding out a small envelope with a bump in the middle.

“What is it?” I accepted both items from him, setting the drink on my desk.

“Watermelon. I don’t know how you can drink that shit.”

I shot him a look. “I meant the envelope, Riley.”

“Beats me. Max wanted you to have it.”

My breath hitched when Riley said his name.

Still, the envelope looked innocuous enough. Plain and white, nothing on the front, not even my name.

I perched on the edge of my desk, working the seal with my fingers. I upended the envelope and a small piece of metal fell out into my hand.

It was a flash drive.

Is he giving back my playlist? Is this his way of getting closure?

I swallowed, my throat burning.

The day after I’d talked with Max in the car, he’d signed a form delegating responsibility for the Alliance funding to Riley.  That’s why the lawyer was here today to update me.

I didn’t know whether Max had done it to spare me or to spare himself. But my heart ached dully as I looked up at Riley.

“Did you salvage the deal with Harmon?”

“Not yet. I told Max not to dive in too fast. I don’t like the look of it any more than you did.”

“But he wants to have the game out in two months. How will you pay people?”

He shrugged. “Max and I disagree on this. He thinks you’re only as good as your latest game, but I think Titan’s bigger than that.” Riley let out a sigh, rubbing his hands over his face. “Payton, I don’t know what went down with you guys. But I can tell he hurt you, even though you don’t like to show weakness. And you know what? He’s hurting too.”

“Riley, I know you’re trying to help, but don’t, OK?” I rose and crossed to the door, and Riley followed reluctantly.

“I know I wasn’t the biggest advocate for you and Max,” he went on. I raised an eyebrow. “The thing is, Max never had people there for him. His parents were always on the verge of splitting up. That’s why he bought them that house when Oasis came out. He had this twisted idea that he’d been the one to drive them apart just by being born.

“He doesn’t let many people in, Payton. And Christina…” Riley’s face darkened. “Maybe she thought she loved Max once, but I’ve never seen her do a nice thing for someone else. She cheated on him for months. I tried to tell him but he wouldn’t believe it. Not until he walked in on them together, in the apartment he paid for.

“The hardest thing he ever did was walk away from her, because she said everything to get him to stay. That it’d been a mistake. That she wanted to try again. That the fuckwad prof she was sleeping with had seduced her. I’ve never seen Max so torn up. He was like another person for an entire year. There were moments I didn’t think he’d get through it. And then…” Riley lifted his palms in the air. “Then after all of it, she had the balls to come back for a piece of Titan. I thought it might break him but it didn’t. I’ve never been so proud of him, Payton. But you know when I knew he was really OK again?”

I shook my head, silently absorbing Riley’s words.

“The morning he left to go to Florida. He stopped by the office on the way. I’d never expected him to go visit his parents, not to mention smile like that.
You
did that, Payton. You gave that back to him. Christina might have made him grow up, but you made him feel human again.”

I wanted to believe Riley’s words, to think they made a difference. But just because I understood Max didn’t mean we could be together.

I sighed, rubbing my hands over my face.

“It’s not as simple as “kiss and make up,” Riley. I wish it was. But I need people in my life I can trust without holding back, and who feel the same about me. I might not have a lot of family or friends, so the ones I have mean more to me than anything.

“Titan doesn’t just come first for Max. It comes first and second and third. I won’t be the girl who waits for whatever scraps are left. I deserve more than that.”

Riley jammed his hands into his pockets, his expression brooding. “Just because he didn’t trust you doesn’t mean he can’t. He’s bound to screw up sometimes. We all do.” He sighed. “It’s just…Max is my best friend and I want to see him happy. You make him happy.”

“You’re a good person, Riley.” I reached out to squeeze his arm.

Unusually solemn blue eyes looked back at me. “So’s Max. Don’t forget that.”

When I got home from work, I tossed my blazer on the chair by the door.

I opened my purse to grab my phone but the envelope stared me down.

Before I could second-guess myself, I popped the flash drive into my computer.

Weird.

It wasn’t the same one I’d given Max. Or if it was, the contents were different.

I clicked on the only folder on the drive. My eyes widened as an animation flashed over the screen.

I fished out the envelope, looking inside. A scrap of paper stuck to the side came out with the lightest prodding.

Coyote,

You said you can’t be with me, and I’ve tried to accept that. But I suck at accepting things that aren’t true. So consider this my Hail Mary.

I need you to know that I believe in you more than I’ve ever believed in anyone, including myself. I hope this proves it to you.

No one else has this copy—it’s meant for you and you only.

Yours. Always.

                                                        Max

Taking a deep breath, I settled the computer in my lap and started to play.

The game wasn’t perfect. There were still a few glitches. But what was finished was spectacular.

I learned Phoenix step by step, like Oasis. Just like Max had promised, this was even better, with twists and turns that surprised you when you least expected them. Graphics that made you blink, unwilling to believe your eyes. And music that made your heart explode.

I was so proud of him. It was incredible what he’d achieved.

When I got to the end of the first level, the cut screen came on.

But along with the cut screen was a sentence that didn’t match the font or color of the rest of the game.

When I was ten, I decided I wanted a dog named Astro and two kids named Echo and Samantha. All the names were characters from my favorite games.

Despite the heavy cloud hanging over me, something happened that hadn’t in days.

The corners of my mouth twitched.

I was eight the first time my mom threatened to leave my dad. I heard them argue—not about which one of them would take me, but which one of them would have to keep me.

They continued.

I spent three weeks after my twenty-fifth birthday wondering if being dead was better than being alive.

My throat closed up. I knew instinctively that these were things he’d never told anyone.

But he was telling me.

I played the demo through to every level, not even stopping to sleep. The next day I called in sick at Alliance—my first sick day all year.

I didn’t need sleep. Or food. Or anything, really.

Some of the confessions were heart wrenching. Others made me smile.

Sometimes I use the Magic 8 ball to make business decisions. Don’t tell Riley.

I pulled out my phone more than once, thinking of texting Max. But something told me to hold off.

It was the end of the second day when I got to the final level. What greeted me was a message that stopped my heart.

I’m in love with the most incredible girl and I hope to hell I haven’t fucked it up. If she wants to talk, she knows where to find me. If not, no harm done. I’m leaving Friday night.

What the
…

My heart sped up until I was taking shaky breaths. Tonight was Friday night. There was nothing else to say where he was going or when. But the first sentence drowned out the rest.

Where the hell would he be?

Suddenly I knew.

I leapt up and ran for the door, sliding on the first pair of shoes I found.

I remembered my keys only when I made it to my locked car.

“Shit!”

After dashing back up the stairs and grabbing the keys off the hook, I was in the driver’s seat.

It was after nine but traffic was heavy. I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel, impatient as I navigated the streets.

The pier at the yacht club was all but silent when I arrived. No one noticed me swing the car in a wide circle and pull abruptly into a spot.

My feet carried me down to where the
Real Fantasy
was docked, my shoes slapping on the boards as I ran.

A knot in my chest eased as I realized it was still there.

“Max!” I shouted.

I stopped next to the boat, seeing nothing.

“Max!”

I heard footsteps before he appeared, ascending the steps from below deck.

His familiar figure stood out against the twilight. It’d only been a week since I’d seen him, but it was like my eyes were relearning the lines of his face, his body.

A green t-shirt clung to his toned shoulders and chest, and faded jeans fit his hips to perfection. His normally-spiked hair had grown long, and was curling around his ears.

“Payton.” Max’s voice conveyed only a hint of surprise as bent over to drop the life jacket he’d been carrying on the seat beside him.

I reached the edge of the dock, and suddenly we were separated by only a few feet of water and fiberglass.

Everything hung between us.

“Where are you going?” I started.

“Just down the coast for a couple nights.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” Max’s eyebrow, and the arrowhead barbell in it, rose. “I mean, I was afraid you were…I don’t know. Running away or something.”

“Not today.”

Relief loosened the knot in my chest.

“Good.”

Max’s gaze found my feet. “Nice shoes.”

I blinked down at the yellow flip-flops. “I was kind of in a hurry. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time, and I just needed you to know something. Phoenix is incredible, even if it’s not quite finished.” I thought I saw his expression warm in the half-light. “But why did you send it to me? And say all those things?”

He watched me, unblinking. “I needed you to know that I trust you. Explicitly.”