Plain Proposal (34 page)

Mamm
put her hands on her hips, pressed her lips together, then watched through the screen door as Lucy drove away in her car. “I did write down the phone number and address for her.”
Mamm
turned slowly around and faced Miriam. “If Lucy is determined to go see Katie Ann, she will. It will be best if she calls her first to warn her.”
Mamm
tapped her fingers on her crossed arms. “Maybe I’ll call Katie Ann tomorrow to let her know that Lucy has her number and address and might pay her a visit. It sure wonders me why Lucy feels the need to travel all the way to Colorado to talk to Katie Ann, though.”

They were all quiet for a minute, then Shelby changed the subject.

“I know I’m leaving here soon, but I sure hope I can come back for Miriam’s wedding in November.”

“You have to come back!” Miriam bounced on her toes as she wiped her hands on her black apron. She couldn’t imagine getting married without Shelby nearby. Then she turned to her mother. “
Mamm
, you know, we need to start planning since that’s only three months away. I’ll need a new dress, and—”

“Plenty of time for all that,”
Mamm
said abruptly, then walked across the den toward the mudroom. When she returned, she was toting a broom and dustpan. “Little John spilled his plate this morning, and I think I missed some of the crumbs.” She began to sweep rapidly as if the conversation about Miriam’s wedding was not up for discussion.

“Mamm
 
.
 
.
 
.”
Miriam edged closer to where her mother was sweeping. “Saul and I are going to be baptized in October. Don’t you think we need to be planning my wedding?”

“Miriam, I’m busy right now. I told you that we have plenty of time.”

Miriam recalled when her friend Anna Kauffman published her wedding announcement. They only had six months to plan the event, and everyone was panicking. Why was her mother acting so unconcerned? “I’m going to marry him,
Mamm
, even if you don’t like it,” Miriam grumbled.

“I’m sure you are,”
Mamm
said as she scooped the tiny amount of crumbs into the dustpan.

Miriam folded her arms across her chest and knew the Lord would not be happy with her actions. Her tone with her mother was unacceptable, but her mother was refusing to accept Saul.

Miriam dried a few dishes, then paused as she closed her eyes and bowed her head, facing away from her mother and Shelby.

Dear Lord, please guide me and Saul onto the path You have planned for us—whether it’s here or in Pittsburgh
.

She opened one eye and glanced around the room at the only life she’d ever known, then closed her eyes again.

And please help Mamm to love Saul—or at least accept that I love him
.

18

B
Y TWO O’CLOCK ON
S
ATURDAY, THE BARN WAS ALMOST
framed in, and a sense of fellowship had spread among the hundred or so folks present. But Saul felt lost as he mechanically worked alongside his father and wondered what he’d say to Miriam. He’d asked his father about the bishop and Noah’s visit, but his father only said, “Always
gut
to have company.” But there was a sadness in his father’s eyes, so Saul knew there was more to it. He felt the need to stay close to his father, although watching Miriam throughout the day brought a longing to be near her as well.

Ruben and James knew something was going on, and they had asked Saul about their visitors several times. Saul told them he didn’t know. It was the truth. But he felt a dark cloud looming over his family, and he kept waiting for the bottom to fall out.

“
Sohn
, I think we’ll be done here soon.” His father pounded a nail into a board high above them while Saul held it in place. “You and me need to talk privately when we get home.”

His
daed
didn’t look at him, but Saul couldn’t take his eyes off his father, a complicated man with years of pain mapped across his face, his long dark beard speckled with gray and his tall frame thinner than in his younger years. “
Ya
, okay,” he said softly.

Twice he’d seen Rebecca talking to the bishop again, and once he caught her in deep conversation with his father. What were they all plotting? Maybe they were planning to shun his father. Saul didn’t know how he, Ruben, and James could keep the farm going by themselves. Despite
Daed’s
shortcomings, his father could work circles around all three of them.

Rebecca walked by and gave him a hesitant smile. He glared at her, then hammered in another nail with strength he didn’t know he possessed. He was beginning to think that Rebecca would do anything to keep him from marrying Miriam. His family would be shamed when the news leaked out, as it surely would, and even though Saul believed that Miriam loved him, could she hold up to the gossip that festered even among a community that preached against such a sin?

He took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart, wishing he didn’t need to have that conversation with his father when he got home.

Rebecca knew that Bishop Ebersol had talked to Zeb, and she’d spoken to Zeb earlier in the afternoon, although it was one of the most awkward conversations she’d ever had. But she’d prayed hard about the situation, and she had to believe that God had guided her to busy herself in someone else’s private life for the good of everyone involved, including her daughter.

She thought about Miriam, wondering how her daughter would take the events soon to unfold around her, and briefly worried that she should have talked to Miriam before she took matters into her own hands. There was no mistaking the way Saul had looked at her earlier, such anger in his eyes.

Lord, please continue to guide me. I pray I’m doing the right thing.

She waved as the last buggy left around four that afternoon with plans to finish out the inside of the barn the following Saturday. She felt Aaron’s arm come around her waist.

“It’s a fine barn, no?”

“
Ya
. Not as big as our other barn, but much sturdier.” Rebecca crossed one arm on her chest and brought her other hand to her chin. “We needed a new barn.”

“
Mei daadi
built that barn.”

They both stood quietly in the yard as the August sun shone down on them from a cloudless sky. Rebecca dripped with sweat. Everyone had worked hard today, and there was nothing like seeing a new barn following a day of hard work and fellowship. But Rebecca couldn’t fully enjoy their efforts. Saul and Miriam weighed heavily on her mind.

“Zeb said he is going to talk to Saul tonight.” She turned to face Aaron. “Are we doing the right thing?”

“We?” Aaron smiled. “There is no ‘we,’
mei fraa
. I told you I wasn’t sure about any of this. You believe you are doing the right thing. I am praying you are.”

“Do you think that we will lose our
dochder
once this unfolds?” She blinked back tears as she searched her husband’s eyes.

“I don’t know, Rebecca.” He shook his head. “It fears me, keeps me up at night.”

“Me too.” She turned to face him, looked up into his hazel eyes. “But I believe I am doing the right thing, for everyone.”

Aaron smiled, kissed her lightly on the lips. “I hope so.”

Saul didn’t think his stomach could churn any faster or harder. No one said much during supper, and with Ruben and James out milking the cows, Saul quickly finished cleaning up the kitchen dishes, then joined his father in the den. His father was sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands folded under his chin. He looked up at Saul, then nodded for Saul to take a seat in the rocker across from him.

Daed
was pale, and his hand was trembling. He’d seen his father’s hands shake before, which happened when he hadn’t had any alcohol for a while. Saul copied his father’s posture and leaned forward, his elbows also on his knees. Outside, he heard crickets chirping and the cows mooing, and the evening sun shone through the window in the den. A normal night. But Saul knew things were far from normal.

His father stroked his beard and avoided making eye contact. “Saul, I have a drinking problem.”

Saul didn’t move or breathe. Even though he knew his father’s drinking would be at the core of the conversation, he didn’t expect his father to blurt it out. He waited for him to go on, keeping his eyes on his father’s face.

Daed
looked up, blinked a few times, and said, “I need to go away for a while,
sohn
.” He fixed his eyes on Saul as if searching for a reaction. “Bishop Ebersol and me both agree that this is something I need to do. Noah Stoltzfus is helping us make the arrangements.” His father leaned back against the couch and sighed. “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve put you and your
bruders
through.”

Saul felt his eyes watering up, but he was determined not to cry. He stared hard into his
daed’s
weathered face, the evidence of hard work, a nurturing father. “
Daed
, you’ve been a
gut
father.” Saul blinked back tears as he sat up in his chair. “When
Mamm
and Hannah died, I know it was hard, and”—Saul took a deep breath—“and you’ve always taken care of us.”

His father stirred uneasily on the couch as he shook his head. “No, Saul. I have failed in the Lord’s eyes, and I must right my ways.” He choked out the words as if just talking caused pain in his throat. “I want to be a better father, and to do that, I need to go away for a while.”

“No,
Daed
. Miriam and I are getting baptized in October, then married in November.” Saul couldn’t imagine his father not being at those two important events in his life. “You have to be here.”

“I will be at your wedding, Saul.”

Saul leaned forward again and laid his forehead in his hands for a moment, relieved that if his father left, he wouldn’t be gone long. He looked back up after a few moments when his
daed
started to speak again.

“Bishop Ebersol and Noah are
gut
men. I have an illness, Saul. And that is what the bishop will tell our community if anyone asks, but we know that sometimes rumors and gossip can start, and I hope—”

“This is all Rebecca Raber’s fault!” Saul bolted from the rocker and took two steps toward his father, feeling the heat in his face. “She told the bishop about your—your problem. She only did this because she doesn’t want me to marry Miriam! And now you’re going to be sent away! How am I going to run the farm with just Ruben and James? Miriam probably won’t even want to marry me once this gets out, and—” Saul closed his mouth and took a deep breath when he saw the pain in his father’s eyes. “I’m sorry,
Daed
.” He backed into the rocker, sat down, and put his face in his hands, then looked back up. “I’m sorry.”