And that was something Sadie couldn’t argue with, no matter how much she wanted to.
Yet, after all this time, she hadn’t laid eyes on him, and Sadie had decided that Kade’s promise to walk with God was not leading him toward her. Otherwise, surely he would have been by for a brief visit or something. She’d also heard rumor that Kade was involved in a business deal with Noah.
It’s okay for him to socialize and
do business with other members of the community and not me?
Bitterness tugged at her heart—a heart filled with holes that she was tired of plugging. First Ben. Then Milo. And now Kade. Each bringing his own heartache. Sadie was done opening her heart or praying for a happy ending. Instead, she busied herself with other things and constantly prayed that God would help her understand His plan for her—a plan that seemed destined for her to be alone. But she knew that marrying a man she didn’t love would have never brought her true happiness. Better to be alone. “It’s a gorgeous day,” Mary Ellen said as she walked into the shop.
Rebecca followed behind her. “
Ya
. I love this time of year.”
Both women walked over to Sadie, who stood near a rack of quilts on the far wall.
“I’m just adding this quilt to the others,” Sadie said. It wasn’t her scheduled day to work, and she had lots to do at her house. She heaved the quilt onto a large wire hanger for such a purpose. “I’ve already put a price tag on it. Sarah Jane dropped it off yesterday.”
“I reckon you’ll be readying your
haus
for church service this Sunday?” Mary Ellen asked. She helped Sadie straighten the quilt on the hanger.
“
Ya
. I’m getting ready to head to the house now.”
Sadie hadn’t hosted worship service at her house in almost nine months, which was about the amount of time it took to circle back to her after other members of the community took their turns. There was much to do in order to ready the house for such a gathering, a group of almost one hundred. And she only had today and tomorrow to do so. Samuel and several other men would be by tomorrow to help line up the wooden benches she kept in the barn and to remove the panel in her den for the occasion. The wooden room divider, a common addition to most Amish homes, separated Sadie’s large den into two rooms. But on worship day, the two cozy areas became one large space big enough to host everyone.
Ben had loved having church service in their home. She missed him now, more than ever. And despite her bitterness, she also missed Kade and Tyler.
How naive she had been. She’d thought that Kade was moving here to be close to her, when he was really only here for business opportunities, opportunities he only knew about because of acquaintances that Sadie had introduced him to. He didn’t even bring Tyler by to see her. Nothing. Her anger at him kept dragging her down. Eventually she’d have to pick herself back up, determined not to let Kade Saunders get the best of her.
Even all these weeks later, she could still see his face, feel his arms around her, and hear the sound of his laughter. She missed Tyler, too, his gentle ways, his innocent giggle. She recalled the way he’d clung tightly to her at the wedding. If she allowed herself to think too much about the two of them, it always brought forth tears. And there was way too much to do today to allow herself the luxury of feeling sorry for herself. So, with that thought, she bid good-bye to Mary Ellen and Rebecca and trudged toward home, to begin a thorough cleaning of the farmhouse.
Kade and Tyler spent most of their time with Jonas, at his place, when they were not in their new home. Not a day went by when Kade didn’t long to see Sadie. Tyler was adjusting to his schedule, and Mary Ellen’s daughter, Linda, babysat him when it was necessary for Kade to be without him. Today was one of those days.
“Thank you, Linda,” Kade said when the girl arrived to keep an eye on Tyler for a while. “I shouldn’t be gone more than an hour or so.” Tyler liked the teenager, and Linda seemed to enjoy taking care of Tyler as well. However, today, Linda had a strange look on her face.
“Is something wrong?” Kade asked.
Linda walked to the window and pointed outside. “Is that yours?”
“Yes. What do you think?”
Linda raised her brows, and her eyes were as large as golf balls. “Do you know how to drive a horse and buggy? And where did you get
that
horse?”
Kade smiled. “Jonas has been teaching me. He’s been letting me drive his for about two weeks.”
“Where’d ya get that horse?” Linda’s eyes were still wildly curious.
“From Big Jake, down past the Gordonville Bookstore.” And what a deal he’d gotten. He couldn’t wait until Sadie saw him pull up in his own buggy for church service this Sunday. It would be Kade’s first time to attend worship since he’d been back, and a bonus that it would be at Sadie’s house, a place filled with grand memories for him. He knew enough about the
Ordnung
at this point to know that pride was an unacceptable trait, but he suspected the emotion might surface just the same.
“That’s what I thought,” Linda said smugly. Then she abruptly spun around and faced Kade with warning eyes. “You bought Loco.”
“What?”
“We call ’im that cuz he’s a crazy horse. That’s why Big Jake ain’t been able to sell him.” She paused and tapped her finger to her chin. “But I reckon you got him all the way here, so you must know what you’re doin’.” Linda shrugged.
“Well, actually—” Kade scratched his forehead. “Big Jake brought Loco, as you call him, early this morning. He hitched the horse up to the buggy for me. I purchased the buggy yesterday from Lester Lapp. He delivered it.”
Linda giggled. “So, you ain’t ever been behind the reins with Loco then, huh?”
“Loco, loco, loco!” Tyler exclaimed from his spot on the floor where he was playing with his letters.
“That’s right,” Linda said. “Your Pop is loco if he gets in the buggy with that horse a-pullin’ ’im.” She shook her head.
Kade felt a hint of nervousness, but if he was going to give the Amish life a try, he needed to live as they did. He had been doing a pretty good job so far. No electricity, for starters. It wasn’t in the King house when he purchased it. Plus, he’d come a long way with his studies of the
Ordnung
. It was all strange and new—wonderfully strange and new. He and Tyler were settling into this peaceful community, and Kade had never been so relaxed in his previous life in California. Only one thing was missing, and he was working on that.
He was probably the richest Amish wannabe in history, but he was living proof that money didn’t buy happiness, and he’d spent the last few weeks spreading his wealth around to those who needed it the most. He did miss one thing—his music. He missed listening to the radio. Most of what made up his past life—the business meetings, unscrupulous deals and people, the rat race—he was glad to be rid of.
He would miss a few people at his office, along with neighbors down the street. And he’d miss Penelope. He’d even miss the doorman at his favorite restaurant. The elderly man had opened the door for Kade at the eatery for seven years and then parked Kade’s car, always with a smile on his face and, Kade believed, with the Lord in his heart. In many ways, the man had shone a wealth of spirit that Kade had never possessed with all his money. Until recently, Kade only knew the man as Jerry. But Kade made sure that Jerry wouldn’t need to park another car for the rest of his life, unless he chose to do so.
Since he’d been gone, several high-profile publications had offered a pretty penny for an interview about Kade’s transformation, and he’d declined. He knew they would print their own version of what they would call an early midlife crisis.
“And another thing.” Linda’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “I don’t reckon it’s right for you to be driving the buggy around like that.” She pointed to Kade, dressed in his blue jeans, white T-shirt, and tennis shoes. “You don’t look Amish.”
“I’m not Amish. Not yet.”
“Then why are you wantin’ to drive the buggy?”
This girl was frustrating him. “Because I need to be able to get around, and I’m trying to live—”
“I seen a car in the barn.” Her hands landed on her hips.
Kade sighed. “I’m trying to live the Amish way. But I guess I’ll just take my car,” he conceded, deciding Linda was probably right. “I’ll be back in an hour or so then.”
“Take your time. Me and Tyler will be just fine.”
Kade pulled into Noah’s clinic about ten minutes later.
“Hello, there,” Noah said when he walked in. “Perfect timing. I don’t have another patient for about a half hour. That will give us time to talk.” He motioned Kade down the hall and toward an office on the right. Kade took a seat in front of Noah’s desk in one of the two high-back tan leather chairs.
“These are the plans I had in mind.” Kade handed him a rolled sheet of paper. “I’ll leave this with you to take a look at. See what you think, and we can talk next week.”
Noah tapped his pencil on the desk. “Lillian told Carley that you haven’t seen Sadie since you’ve been back. I thought . . . Well, let’s just say I’m surprised.”
“It hasn’t been easy,” Kade said. “I want to spend every waking minute with her, but Jonas made a good point when he said I need to decide if I truly want to convert to the Amish ways before I pursue Sadie. So I guess I’ve been trying to do that.”
“Sadie’s pretty upset,” Noah said. “According to Carley, Sadie thinks you only moved here for business reasons, and the other girls aren’t saying otherwise. They’re afraid you won’t make the commitment, and they don’t want to see Sadie get hurt.”
“Makes sense. Sounds like all those women really watch out for each other.”
“They’re all daughters of the promise,” Noah said.
“What?”
“Each one of them has been on a journey toward faith, hope, and love—a spiritual journey. These women all have a very strong faith, even my wife, Carley, who isn’t Amish.”
“Noah, you walked away from being Amish. How can I be certain converting is the right thing? I mean, I want to be with Sadie, but I honestly don’t even know if she’ll have me. Plus, I really do want to make a decision of my own volition.”
Noah shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised that you’re considering such a radical change. But I will tell you this—these people live the life they believe in. They don’t just talk about it or admire what it stands for. They live it. Each and every day. And as someone who has lived it before, I can vouch for the tranquillity that such a life has to offer.”
“But you left.” Kade needed more.
“Yes, I did. But I have Amish roots that will never be completely severed. Part of me will always be Amish, even though I don’t mention that to most folks. I’m a blessed man, Kade. I get to live among them, take care of them, and yet still follow my own calling. At one point, I turned it over to God, and He showed me my place in this grand community.”
Kade didn’t say anything. How was he to know if he was truly following God’s plan or if he was just running away from a life that caused him heartache?
“One thing I should mention, Kade,” Noah went on. “You don’t have to be Amish to have a relationship with God. The kind of peace you’re looking for can be found anywhere.” He paused, then smiled. “I think it’s just easier to recognize that peace here in Lancaster County.”
“I feel better than I’ve felt in my entire life, Noah,” Kade said. “I have hope. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. It does.” Noah smiled. “But once this school is built, what are you going to do with yourself? Somehow, I don’t see you as a farmer. No offense intended.”
Kade chuckled. “None taken. I don’t know the first thing about farming. But I guess if it’s meant to be, God will open doors for me.”
“Yes. I believe that to be true. When things come very easily to us, it is usually because we are taking the path God wants us to take. Too much opposition means we are straying from His plan.”
Kade smiled. “This has all happened easily for me—disbursement of funds, rearranging my life, finding the King farm, all of it. Tyler has adjusted well, and he seems to like it here too.”
“I will continue to pray for you, my friend. You’ll make the right decision.”
Kade stood up and shook Noah’s hand. “Thank you, Noah.”
As Kade got into his car, he knew he needed to talk to Sadie on Sunday.