Plain Jayne (39 page)

What did I believe?

I believed in God.

What was He like?

Was He someone I could trust? It was one thing to be told by a pastor that, yes, God was trustworthy, and entirely another to believe it for myself.

I could hear the falls as I approached. A fine mist filled the air.

The water was magnificent. I felt myself relax just watching.

I knew God was a father, and yet the only father I'd ever personally experienced wasn't one I'd readily recommend. Did my feelings about God have anything to do with that?

Standing in front of the falls, I realized if I continued thinking along this vein I'd be here all day.

With a mixed-up heart I went back to my car and pulled onto I-5.

The moment I saw the farmhouse, I had a strange desire to get out of my car and race toward it, arms outstretched.

The breakup was making me crazy. I made a mental note to avoid romantically inclined relationships in the future. I wasn't a fan of the fallout.

Having decided not to run to the farmhouse, I grinned at the sight of Leah and Elizabeth running toward me.

Then I started worrying about running them over. I remembered Levi complaining of the same thing—and the memory stung.

I stopped, yanked at the parking brake, retrieved my keys, and stepped from the car.

Leah and Elizabeth hugged my legs, asking so many questions I couldn't understand a single one.

“What are you two doing out of school?” I tried my best to pick them up, one arm per child, but I couldn't manage to get them two inches off the ground. “You've grown!”

“Teacher's sick today. I lost another tooth,” said Elizabeth, pointing at a new hole in her mouth.

“Yes, you have. Is your mom inside?”

Leah nodded. “She's in the kitchen. We're going to have dried peach pie tonight!”

“Sounds yummy! Walk me in?”

The moment I stepped inside, I was embraced by warm, dry air filled with the scents of yeasty bread and roasting meat.

“Jayne!” Martha's smile when she saw me was welcome enough. “This is a surprise.”

“I wish I could have written first, but my boss wanted me to write a follow-up piece for the paper.”

“Would you like to help with the pie dough?”

“Of course.” I took off my jacket, washed my hands, and picked up the rolling pin Martha had left on the counter. “I was planning on staying in town a few days.”

Martha frowned. “Why in town?”

“I didn't want to be underfoot.”

“You must stay here. I insist, and Gideon will too.”

“How is he?”

Martha rolled her eyes. “He's in the fields with Elam and Amos.”

“Not working too hard, I hope?”

She shrugged. “They're keeping an eye on him. He's stubborn.”

Reminded me of someone else I knew.

A thought struck me—this time around, if my computer battery died, I'd have to go to a coffee shop. Levi wouldn't be opening his office electricity to me anytime soon.

“That looks thin enough,” Martha said, glancing at the pie crust dough. “You can probably stop there.”

“Oh.”
Thin enough
was being kind. There were places where the dough was near translucent in its papery thinness.

That's what I got for thinking about Levi and trying to bake at the same time.

Sara chose that moment to swing around the corner. “Oh. It's you.”

If I hadn't read her letter, I would have thought she was completely indifferent.

“Yes, it's me. What gave it away.”

Sara shrugged. “I heard you from upstairs. You're really loud.”

“Nice to see you too.”

I turned my back, but I could feel Sara analyzing my outfit. Because she didn't depart immediately, I knew she approved.

Success!

“We are very pleased to have Jayne back,” said Gideon at the dinner table that evening. “And very pleased that on the night she returns we are not eating fish.”

“I hear fish is good for your heart,” I said, mainly because I could get away with it.

“Good for your heart, but maybe too much is not good for your soul.”

Interesting theology. “How have you been feeling?”

“I feel like I am young again.”

Somehow I doubted that.

“Well, I'm just here to observe for a few days. I don't want to get in anyone's way.”

I think I heard Elam snort.

Punk.

“Grandma is coming the day after tomorrow,” Sara said. “We're going to quilt together.”

“Really!” An idea popped into my head. “I've been working on my quilt. I'll have my mom send it down.”

The shipping would cost an arm, leg, and a kidney, but I didn't want to miss out on quilting with Sara and Ida.

Everyone needs something to look forward to.

As far as the breakup was concerned, I think I'd moved from denial to anger. I lay under a stack of Amish quilts that night, stewing.

Levi knew I'd just come off a relationship with Shane. He knew I was going through a lot of major life changes. Who was he to give me a “love me or leave me” ultimatum?

I wondered briefly if he had a brain tumor. I spent a few minutes worrying about him before I reverted back to anger.

I broke a plate at breakfast that morning. I may have been thinking about Levi at the time.

“You're wearing your normal clothes,” Sara commented as we washed the breakfast dishes.

“I can switch, but there weren't any other options in the guest room, and I forgot to ask.”

She looked around, checking for little listeners. “Your clothes look better than before.”

“Thank you. I went shopping.”

“With Gemma?”

“My sister.”

Sara gave an appreciative nod. “She did a good job.”

“And I pulled out my debit card with exceptional skill.”

“What's a debit card?”

I explained, realizing the Amish weren't exactly regular bankers.

“How are you and Levi…you know.”

“You mean are we still together?”

“Yes.”

“We aren't.” I sighed.

“Oh.” She scrubbed another plate. “That was fast.”

Too fast. “It happens.”

“Was it you or him?”

“Meaning…?”

“Which one of you did something to ruin it?”

“Sometimes, relationships don't work out. Not for things people did or didn't do, but just because those people don't work together.”

“You find out that people don't work together by what they do or don't do,” Sara pointed out.

“Stop being so smart.”

“Am I right?”

“Sara, give me a break. I'm trying to be a good ex-girlfriend and not speak badly of he whom I dated. Can I get credit for that?”

“You still like him.”

“We need to finish the dishes and start the laundry.”

“You still like him.”

“Be nice to me. I sent you contraband.”

“Do you think he'll change his mind?”

I didn't want to cry, not in front of Sara. “No, I don't. What about you? Any boys sneaking through your window these days?”

Her eyes grew wide. “It's a secret!”

“Well, so was Levi. Spill.”

“There's no one.”

Was that because she planned on leaving? I didn't want to know. We dropped the subject of the opposite sex altogether and paid very close attention to the rest of the breakfast dishes.

My mom agreed to overnight my quilt strips. I didn't tell her about Levi. I couldn't get myself to explain that I had ended two relationships in one month.

When the package arrived the following morning, I saw that my mom had also included enough fabric to back the quilt, as well as some edging and batting.

Ida arrived shortly after, and we set to work. I asked Martha for assistance with the treadle sewing machine, but she deferred to Sara.

Sara instructed me to practice with scrap fabric until I got the hang of the treadle sewing machine. Then she showed me how to thread the needle and fill the bobbin, place the fabric, and then run a line of stitches.

I watched her do it first. She turned the wheel on the right-hand side, using it to start the rhythmic movement of the needle slowly before beginning
the pedaling movement with her feet. “Don't push the treadle too fast,” Sara advised. “You want to keep control of the stitches. When you pedal, put your right foot ahead of the left, like this—” she lifted her skirt out of the way so I could see her feet with an unobstructed view. “It keeps your ankles from getting tired. Your turn!”