Plain Again (26 page)

And all of that because the bishop had stepped forward to assist her, protecting her even though she was no longer a member of the
g’may
. It dawned on her that his gesture had taught her an even more important lesson: despite the choices that she had made, she didn’t necessarily have to jump from one side of the stream to another. While she would never truly be accepted as an Amish woman, she would also never truly be an Englischer. Indeed, the bishop had just shown her that she would always have a connection with the Amish and, as such, would fall under the protected wing of the Amish community.

Chapter Twenty-One

Getting ready for the Jingle Ball concert.

Will call later.

Remember to stay put.

No more excursions to the store, mi amor.

V.

It was his fifth year performing at the Jingle Ball concert in the City of Angels, Alejandro realized. Each year, he had enjoyed himself as much during the concert as afterward, at the after-parties. The entertainers were always in a jovial mood, often drinking backstage both before and after their performances. Last year, a somewhat inebriated Lil Juan had barged in on Viper’s set, the two of them immediately breaking into a joint song, a throwback to the old days, singing at clubs in Miami.

This year, the general mood backstage was no different.

With so many entertainers performing on one stage, the behind-the-scenes areas were filled with people: managers, girlfriends, stagehands, and well-wishers who belonged to various entourages. Like the others, Alejandro was never alone, his own entourage of friends having joined him in Los Angeles for the big event. And as they were talking with other people who they knew from previous concert tours, Alejandro found himself floating among the different groups, embracing old friends whom he hadn’t seen in a long time and shaking hands with those whom he had never met before that evening. This was a night when ideas for future collaborations on songs and videos flowed as easily as the holiday cheer.

The only thing that could have made the night even better was if Amanda had agreed to join him.

He hadn’t spoken to her since Friday morning. His week had been spent at the recording studio, creating new beats to go with the two new songs that he had written while on the road. Then he had spent the evenings helping two friends with their beats, drinking beers while they sat around the computer and adjusted the sounds until Alejandro was satisfied.

He had been upset with her when he had heard about the incident at the store.

“I thought I told you to not go anywhere, Amanda,” he had said sharply. “You should have stayed put. It’s not safe to be riding around alone and you know that.”

She hadn’t responded right away to his reprimand. Her silence had said it all. And he knew that he had upset her. He had learned that Amish trait of hers, shutting down when upset with a situation or a person. Only once had she ever vocalized her emotions when upset and that had been just recently over the video.

“What’s up, man?”

Alejandro turned around, grinning when he recognized his friend Dricke Ray. The last time they had seen each other was at an awards event before he had married Amanda. They embraced, clapping each other on the back.

“Where’s that pretty little woman of yours?” Dricke asked, looking around as if he expected Amanda to be hiding behind Alejandro.

“Not here tonight,” Alejandro admitted.

“When the cat’s away . . .” Dricke started to say, but Alejandro lifted an eyebrow, stopping him in midsentence. “Aw, you’re an old married dude now. I keep forgetting ’bout that!” Dricke laughed and held up his hand in the air, waiting for Alejandro to slap it, a gesture of friendship and understanding. “But you can still be a mouse and play, Viper! I’ll be seeing you at that party later, no?” He laughed as he walked away, a stagehand chasing after him as it was almost time for his set.

There were reporters everywhere, most of them in high spirits from having joined the entertainers in toasting the holiday season. Carrying his drink, he paused for the obligatory photo shoot by the sponsor’s backdrop and spent a few minutes mingling with several reporters, all of whom had asked more questions about Amanda than about his songs or upcoming international tour. That hadn’t bothered him. In fact, he much preferred talking about Amanda than about his tour. When he talked about her, he felt alive and closer to her, especially given their current separation. Being apart was increasingly difficult, and Mike was not making it any easier.

Afterward, he moved over to join a group of people who were seated in the back lounge area. He was laughing with them over a story about a crazy fan at a concert when she sat beside him in the empty seat. For a moment, Alejandro had to do a double take, and it was all that he could do to not make a scene.

Maria sank down into the seat next to him, her blond hair twisted into a sexy French knot with rhinestone pins pushed into the side. Alejandro knew exactly who was behind this trickery: Mike. Only Mike could have arranged for Maria to not only be in Los Angeles but also backstage at one of the hottest events of the season.

Instead of confronting her, for he had long ago learned to always behave in public as though a dozen cameras were trained on him, capturing both audio and video, he smiled and sat up, just enough to appear gentlemanly, as she smoothed the front of her dress so that it would not wrinkle.

“What a pleasant surprise,” he managed to say, the smile still plastered on his face. Inside, he was seething. “I’ll have to remember to thank Mike later, no?”

She returned the greeting by leaning over to kiss his cheek, her hand lingering on his knee as she did so. “It’s wonderful to see you, Viper.”

He responded with a short, low grunt, shifting his leg so that her hand fell away as he turned his attention back to the man sitting next to him. But it was already too late. He could sense the reporters taking his photo, seated next to the mysterious woman who seemed all too familiar and comfortable with Viper.

The after-party was packed with people. Alejandro accepted the congratulations of his peers, too aware that Maria was constantly a few feet behind him. As photographers snapped his pictures, she was by his side. Despite glancing often at his security companion, trying to get his attention to remove her without making a scene, nothing happened.

“Viper!” someone called out. “Over here!”

He lifted his hand in acknowledgment and excused himself from the photographers as he made his way over to Dricke Ray. Lifting his hand in the air, he smiled as Dricke did the same and they greeted each other by clasping their hands.

“Yo, man!” Dricke said. “Great performance!”

“¡Gracias, chico!”
He laughed as Dricke grabbed two drinks from a nearby waiter and shoved one into his hands.
“¡Salud!”

“You changed your mind about playing while the cat’s away, I see!” Dricke glanced over Alejandro’s shoulder. Maria stood nearby, talking with two other women, both clearly typical entourage hanger-ons. “Or are you breaking the hearts of all the lovely ladies tonight?”

“Nah, man,” Alejandro said, lifting the glass to his lips. “Not my style.”

Dricke made eye contact with one of the women and nodded his head. “It’s my style,” he retorted, a gleam in his eyes. “That life don’t leave your blood too fast, my friend.” Tapping his glass against Alejandro’s, he winked and teasingly growled at him, imitating a cat. “Excuse me, man. I see a fine feline calling out to me over there!”

For a moment, Alejandro stood alone. It was rare that people weren’t crowded around him, and he took the moment to catch his breath. He hadn’t wanted to come to the after-party. However, with so many of the industry greats gathered in one place, he knew that it would be career suicide to miss it. Mike had been certain to point that out to him when he showed up backstage.

Alejandro scanned the crowd, looking for his manager. He thought he saw him by the bar, talking with Justin Bell’s manager. A future collaboration in the making? Alejandro wasn’t certain how that would fly with his fans. Justin Bell appealed to a younger age group, mostly teenage girls. However, he was a popular artist and a collaboration certainly couldn’t hurt Viper’s new “good boy” image.

When Mike finally noticed him, Alejandro dragged him away from the crowds and questioned him about Maria’s presence. He feigned innocence, but the shifting of his eyes did not go unnoticed by Alejandro. He was lying.

“Why’d you have to do that?” Alejandro said, shaking his head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mike professed, glancing over Alejandro’s shoulder and nodding at someone who was passing by. “She knows a lot of people here, Alex. Anyone could have invited her. It’s not like she hasn’t been here before.”

Alejandro didn’t believe him. Mike had been insistent that Viper not show up alone to the after-party, wanting a young woman on either arm as he walked into the event. “It’s all for show,” he had pleaded with Alejandro. “Just tell your wife that, for crying out loud.”

It had been the way that Mike said “your wife” that bothered Alejandro as much as the suggestion that Viper flaunt being apart from Amanda. There was always contempt in Mike’s voice when he referenced Amanda. It had dawned on Alejandro that Mike resented no longer being number one in his life. Prior to Amanda’s presence, Alejandro had relied on Mike, never letting anyone, especially a woman, come between them. Women had been temporary objects in his life, not lifelong partners.

Adjustments, Alejandro had thought as he shook his head at his manager. “No women, Mike. Not even for show.”

Now, with Maria at the Jingle Ball concert, hanging with his entourage and floating among the others, Alejandro realized that Mike had arranged for her presence on purpose, a type of punishment for Alejandro not permitting the young women to escort him into the after-party.

“Hey, you!”

He heard the greeting before he felt the hand on his shoulder. Glancing over, he saw the impeccably manicured red nails and, immediately, knew that Maria had zoned in on him.

Sighing, Alejandro turned to face her. “Happy holidays to you,” he managed to say. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t upset with her, although he had noticed how cold she had been to Amanda on the few occasions they had been together in Miami. Without complaining or saying anything negative, Amanda had made it clear that Maria’s presence bothered her. Out of respect, Alejandro had quietly severed his ties with his former friend and occasional lover. After all, he had reasoned, it was the right thing to do, especially now that he was married.

“I think you should buy me a drink,” she purred. “A proper holiday toast,
sí
?”

People were watching, and Alejandro knew that he couldn’t make a scene. As always, Maria played the part well: femme fatale to the end. If he denied her the drink, the reporters would catch wind of it and present Maria as the scorned ex-lover. Certainly they remembered her from the summer when she had pretended to be his girlfriend in order to draw attention away from Amanda. It hadn’t worked then, but Alejandro suspected the tabloids would love to revive the story.

He gestured to a server, lifting up his glass of vodka on the rocks and pointing toward Maria’s empty champagne flute.

“
Gracias
, Viper
.”
She smiled when he turned his attention back to her. “It’s been so long! How have you been?”

“Busy.”

“As usual,” she laughed. “You live to be busy.”

He smiled. She knew him too well. Slowly, he tried to relax, continually reminding himself that it was not Maria who was at fault. For all Alejandro knew, Mike had arranged for someone to invite her on his behalf. “You’ve been well,
sí
?”

Nodding her head, she watched as the server returned and Alejandro handed her the glass of champagne.
“Salud,”
she said, raising the crystal flute to touch the rim to his glass in a gesture of friendship. “It’s good to see you, Alejandro,” she said, gazing at him as he took a sip of the drink. “Haven’t seen much of you since your wedding.”

He shrugged, not certain how to respond.

“I was hurt that you didn’t invite me,” she admitted. “Our paths go a long way back,
chico
. I would have liked to have celebrated with you.”

He laughed. “Oh really?” The thought of Maria wanting to celebrate anything that did not center on her amused him. She had grown too used to being the only woman permitted in his life to know him. Being supplanted by Amanda was certainly not a cause for celebration in Maria’s world.

“¡Sí!”
she insisted, trying to sound sincere, but the gleam in her eyes told him otherwise.

“In that case,” he said, raising his glass one more time.
“¡Gracias por la felicitación y feliz navidad, mi amiga!”

The music was loud and the lights were flashing. The general ambiance of the gathering was one of celebration and happiness. It was a good after-party, and he was starting to feel more festive as he sipped at his drink.

Maria glanced over her shoulder at the dance floor. Looking back at him, she brushed a tendril away from her cheek and smiled, hesitating just a moment before she spoke what was on her mind. He knew what she was going to say before the words slipped through her lips. He could see it in her eyes, and he was prepared.

“Let’s dance, Viper,” she said. “I feel like getting on the floor a bit, no?”

Without hesitation, he reached for her champagne and set both of their glasses on a nearby table before grabbing her hand and leading her through the crowd. The people parted, a few smiling at the handsome couple as they made their way to the already crowded dance floor, no one seeming to notice or care that the woman accompanying Viper was not his wife.

Chapter Twenty-Two

I haven’t heard from you all day.

How was the concert?

<3

A.

By two in the afternoon, Amanda was worried. He had not contacted her since the evening before, a short text during the limousine ride from the condominium to the Jingle Ball concert. He had promised to call her in the morning. But her phone never rang, despite it almost being afternoon.

“I don’t understand,” she mumbled, checking that it had properly charged overnight. To her dismay, the battery indicator was full. “Something must be wrong.”

“Relax, Amanda,” Lizzie said dismissively. “You tell us all the time how busy his schedule is. He’ll call,
ja
?”

She knew her
mamm
was right. There was nothing to worry about. He would contact her when he had the time. Still, with the dark December skies that hid the sun and the bare trees resembling bony skeletons reaching up for the sky, she was already depressed enough and not having heard from him was adding to it.

It was almost an hour later when Amanda sat with her parents, her
mamm
working on the hem of a dress and her
daed
in his wheelchair by the window. Mamm looked up and glanced out the window. “Sure hope Anna and Jonas get back soon,” she fretted. “Weather sure looks bad.”

Just the previous afternoon, Anna and Jonas had arrived from Ohio. It had been a happy reunion in more ways than one. With the Christmas holidays only a week away, Amanda was looking forward to being reunited with Alejandro in time to celebrate their first Christmas together.

Her surprise visit to Kansas the previous weekend had been too short, leaving more longing than satisfaction in her heart. Plus, they had parted after she had spoken cross words with him about that video. It still bothered her that she had spoken so sharply to him and wondered if that had anything to do with his unusual lack of communication over the week.

Oh, he had texted her every day. But far and few between were the phone calls. She longed to hear his voice, to share a conversation and to know that he still missed her. One of their last conversations had been after her excursion to the market. His sharp words to her, reprimanding her for not having listened to him about not leaving the farm, had bothered her. Rather than say something that she would later regret, she had not commented on his tone or scolding. But it had stung her soul to know that she had disappointed him and that he had so harshly made her feel that way.

The day before, she had texted Alejandro about Anna and Jonas having arrived four days earlier than expected. While she knew that he was out in Los Angeles for that Jingle Ball concert, she had certainly expected that he would have contacted her before now. She had hoped that he would be as excited as she was about their early arrival from Ohio. With her sister and Jonas back in Pennsylvania, Amanda was now able to leave the farm and rejoin him.

His last communication, however, hadn’t inquired about her sister’s arrival or mentioned Amanda joining him on the road.

“Who’re they visiting today, Mamm?”

“Daed’s cousins in Ephrata,” Lizzie responded, her head bent over the dress as she sewed. “Thought they’d be back by now, with the weather looking so bad and the afternoon milking to be done.”

Nodding her head, Amanda turned her attention back to the
Budget
newspaper in her hands. In the early afternoons before chores, she liked to read the paper out loud, sharing the stories of the different Amish communities from around the country with her
daed
.

“Daed, you know the Yoders from Walnut Creek,
ja
?” She looked up and waited for her
daed
to nod his head. “Says here that his
mamm
just celebrated her ninety-fifth birthday!”

“Can you imagine?” Mamm gasped, tsk-tsking with her tongue. “Ninety-five years!”

“Seems like they had a big birthday celebration, says here,” Amanda continued. “Over a hundred and twenty-five people!” She set the paper down and looked at her
daed
. “Can you imagine the size of that cake?”

Elias tried to smile. “Big,
ja
?”

Lizzie set down her sewing and looked out the window. Amanda glanced at her, studying the serious expression on her mother’s face. She had aged, Amanda realized, more than she should have over the past few years. Amanda imagined that a lot of that had to do with Aaron’s death but certainly the other recent events could not have helped. For a moment, Amanda felt pity for her mother. How life could change so quickly, she pondered.

“I’m just not liking this weather,” Lizzie muttered, turning to her husband and
dochder
. “Amanda, go on out and see if Harvey needs help,” she ordered. “Looks like another snowstorm is brewing, and he best be heading home if that’s the case.”

Obediently, Amanda set down the paper, folding it neatly before she did so. With a smile, she reached out and touched her
daed
’s shoulder. “We’ll read more later,
ja
?” She didn’t wait for his response before she hurried toward the door, pausing for a moment to wrap a thick black shawl around her shoulders before she slipped outside.

It was good to be outside, she thought. The house was depressing to her. With her
daed
being immobile and her
mamm
fretting so much over everyone and everything, there was a thick sense of gloom permeating the room. She felt out of place and didn’t like the feeling. What had been so familiar to her not that long ago now seemed foreign. She found herself missing not just Alejandro but the world of the Englische. Or, she corrected herself,
his
world of the Englische.

As she walked into the barn, she noticed that two kerosene-powered lanterns were already burning. The bright glow from the lanterns also threw off some heat, so once she entered the barn, she was pleased that the air was not bitter cold.

“Harvey,” she called out cheerfully. “Mamm sent me to help you now.”

“Over here,” his voice called out from the back of the barn.

Amanda walked in the direction of the voice, ducking under a metal bar in between two cows so that she didn’t have to walk all the way around in order to get to Harvey. It was early to be milking the cows that stood at the back of the barn. When she approached him, he looked up and nodded his appreciation for her assistance.

“Would be mighty happy if you helped me, Amanda,” he said. “Radio in the car said we’re due for a big storm tonight. I’d sure like to make it home before the snow starts.”

“A big storm?” she repeated, clicking her tongue. “In early December. My oh my! Must be a strong winter ahead of us, then!”

He nodded his head as he placed his cheek against the flank of the cow he was milking. “So I heard,” he commented but then concentrated on the task at hand.

Amanda knew better than to break his concentration. Harvey preferred to work in silence, his thoughts his only companions. She didn’t know whether he was reflecting on things of a personal nature or strictly focusing on the milking.

The silence was fine by her, however. She put on a dirty apron to protect her clothing and hurried to the line of cows waiting to be milked. The heat of the cow’s flank warmed her cheek, and she breathed in the musky scent of its hide. She knew that she’d be leaving soon, and while eager to return to her life with Alejandro, she also knew that she’d miss the farm.

With so much travel ahead of them, she wasn’t certain when she would return. Surely they would have time to visit in the summer, she told herself. But just as soon as she thought that, she realized she didn’t have any idea whether that was true. Alejandro had his South American tour, and then he had mentioned something about Europe. At some point, he would need to relax, and for that she was certain he would want to be in Miami. And, of course, he’d want to head out to Los Angeles, spending a few weeks in the summer at their apartment outside of Beverly Hills so that he could work on his new recordings.

Perhaps, Amanda thought sadly, there would be no joint return to the farm. If anything, she’d most likely return on her own for a short visit while Alejandro was on the road. With his busy schedule and constant travel, finding a few days to vacation together seemed nearly impossible.

It was a half hour later when the buggy pulled into the driveway and Jonas appeared in the dairy. He apologized to Harvey for his late arrival and quickly got to work. Amanda finished what she was doing and carried a full bucket of milk to the containment system in the back room. Glancing out the window, she noticed that Anna was unhitching the horse from the buggy.

Amanda set the empty bucket on the ground and wiped her hands on the front of her apron as she hurried toward the barn door. The sting of the cold air sent a chill up her spine, and she wrapped her arms around her chest. Snow indeed, she thought as she glanced up into the sky.

“Let me help,” Amanda said as she approached her sister in the driveway. “Faster with two sets of hands,
ja
?”

Anna smiled her appreciation and the two of them quickly began to unharness the horse from the buggy. “How was your visit, then?” Amanda asked as she lifted one of the buggy’s shafts to help move it inside the barn before the snow fell.

“Right
gut
,” Anna replied. “So nice to see the family. Such a shame they couldn’t come to Ohio for the wedding.”

Amanda thought back to her own wedding and smiled. It would have been nicer if her family could have been there, but with that one exception, she wouldn’t have changed anything else about that day. Besides, she realized, Alejandro’s family and religion were so different from the Amish that she knew they would not have appreciated the ceremony in the same way that she had.

With the horse wiped down and the buggy safely stored away, Amanda and Anna hurried back into the house. After hanging up their coats, they stood by the heater and tried to warm up.

“So tell me about our cousins, Anna,” Amanda began. “I haven’t seen them in such a long time. I should have ridden along with you and Jonas, I reckon.”

The chime on her cell phone rang, announcing a text message. Amanda stopped speaking in midsentence and hurried over to pick up the phone on the counter where she had left it. A smile was on her face as she slid her finger across the phone to unlock it and read her message. The thought crossed her mind that he had not called her but texted her instead. However, she figured he had been busy with interviews and recording, whatever Mike and his publicist had put on his schedule.

Only the message was not from Alejandro.

It was a photograph from an unknown number. And it was of Alejandro. But he was not alone and, from the looks of it, he was intoxicated. His glasses were atop his head, his eyes bloodshot, and his skin pale. The smile on his face was lopsided and not the typical expression of control that he wore.

That, however, was not what concerned her the most. It was the way his arm was wrapped around a woman’s neck, pulling her close to him, her head almost resting on his shoulder. And it wasn’t just any woman; it was Maria.

Maria wearing the very same white bathrobe with the pink embroidered A over a rose that Alejandro had gifted to Amanda on their first trip to LA. Maria with her blond hair in an updo, tendrils dripping down her neck. Maria with sparkling earrings and a necklace that brought attention to her bare chest peeking out from under the garment.

Maria in the arms of Amanda’s husband.

“What’s wrong, Amanda?”

She could barely tear her eyes away from the photograph on her phone. Briefly, she glanced at her
mamm
and
schwester
but merely shook her head. There were no words that could pass her lips. She knew that the color had drained from her face. She felt her hands trembling.

And then the chime rang again.

Another photo. This one was worse than the first. She shut her eyes and said a silent prayer. Please God, she prayed. Make this not be true. But when she opened her eyes, she saw that her prayer was not answered. The photograph was still there. The photograph of Maria and Alejandro walking into the lobby of a building together, his arm slung around her neck. There was no question what the insinuation meant. What was worse, she recognized the building: their condominium in Los Angeles.

Trying to maintain her composure, Amanda took a deep
breath and shut off the phone. She set it down on the table, facedown, and lifted her eyes to meet the curious gazes of her mother and sister. “It’s nothing,” she said, forcing a smile that hurt her soul. The lie pained her, but she knew that she could never share those photos with her family. They’d never understand something that she, herself, could barely comprehend.

“Think I’ll go outside for a spell,” she mumbled.

She was partially down the walkway when she heard the screen door open and footsteps on the porch. “Amanda!” her sister called as she ran toward her. “Your shawl! You’ll catch cold!” With great affection, Anna wrapped the wool shawl around Amanda’s shoulders and tucked it tightly under her chin. She spared her a smile and said, “If you need to talk . . .”

Amanda nodded but could not speak. She was struggling to fight back the tears and the painful lump in her throat. She needed to be alone. Talking wasn’t going to help, not this time. “I’m fine,” she managed to say, knowing that her voice was not as convincing as the words she had spoken.

Turning her back toward the house, she let her feet take her down the road. She stared at nothing as she walked, breathing in the crisp air and listening to the crunching of the snow under her shoes. The noise created a filter in her mind; she could only use it as an escape from the thoughts that were causing darkness in her heart.

As she approached the end of the lane, she ignored the paparazzi that had, once again, set up a twenty-four-hour team, just in case something happened in the wee hours of the night that warranted reporting to the rest of the world. Their reemergence at the farm didn’t surprise her, and she suspected that they, too, had been privy to those photos of Alejandro and Maria. They snapped her photograph, eager to report to the world how Viper’s wife had responded to the news that he had spent the evening with another woman.