Pisces: From Behind That Locked Door (16 page)

He hated the way he looked in photographs, naturally. In twenty-four years, he'd never taken a single photo that turned out passable. His school pictures were catastrophic, year after year, and he always looked like an ass in the more relaxed candid pictures. A fat ass. The camera was an unflinching observer, brutally honest, and worst of all, permanent. It wouldn't help that he was trying to do this with a crappy phone camera in a room with unflattering light. Not that there was any particular type of light that would help him.

But he'd promised himself that he was going to do something to prove he was serious about becoming a new person. This was the perfect solution. What did it mean for his epiphany if he couldn't even bring himself to take
one
picture? A picture that he could delete immediately, no less. A picture that would never have to be seen by another set of human eyes, even the eyes it was theoretically intended for.

"Okay. Okay, you're being silly. This isn't that big of a deal. It's a photo. Well, a nude photo, but people take dirty pictures of themselves all the time. It's not illegal. They aren't going to throw me in prison for taking a naked picture. Just do it on three. One. Two. Three."

The flash reflected back in his eyes, and when his vision finally cleared of the dancing black spots, he realized that the glare completely obscured his figure. Which might have been the universe trying to tell him something. It counted, though. Just because the picture didn't turn out didn't mean it didn't count. He could close his phone, pull his clothes back on, and pretend none of this ever happened.

Except, he really did want to send a clear message to Stephen. And if he couldn't even stand the thought of Stephen seeing a photo of him, how would he ever be able to get naked in front of Stephen for real? He would have to get himself to that point sooner or later. If only because he wanted more from Stephen than a hand job, wanted to give him something more than blow jobs.

Jay cursed softly, turned off the damned flash, and lifted his hand again. Nearly his entire body was visible in the mirror, only the bottom three-quarters of his legs cut off. Would he be more attractive if he had an erection? Or would that be too ridiculous? Or was the whole situation ridiculous? Would Stephen even want this picture or was he being stupidly optimistic to even consider that possibility? No, he couldn't let himself think like that anymore. He had to trust Stephen. He
had
to. It wouldn't work between them if he didn't have any faith. And Stephen had made himself quite clear on the fact that he didn't want Jay to shield himself away. He needed to be completely vulnerable, exposed like he'd never been before.

Stephen had said that he loved to look at Jay. He didn't understand it then or now, but maybe it wasn't for him to understand. Maybe it was just something he needed to accept.

With that, he pushed the button again. This time there was no bright flare of light to blind him, and the image on the phone was sharp and blatant. He didn't let himself look at it for too long, afraid that he would lose his nerve completely. He attached the image to a text that said
Amy's gone for the night.
With a final, uneasy breath, he hit send.

The response a minute later surprised him, and the phone chirped at him twice before he had the courage to actually read the message.

Don't get dressed. Leaving here in five minutes.

Jay gaped, the breath knocked out of his lungs. He'd hoped for some sort of positive response, but it hadn't occurred to him to expect an
enthusiastic
one. It took him another minute to formulate the perfect response, his fingers trembling so badly he could barely use the touchpad.

I'll leave the door unlocked.

Jay settled on the bed, reasoning that would be the most logical place to wait. He'd done his best to prepare for Stephen's arrival, including showering and putting a bottle of Amy's baby oil next to the bed, which was the closest thing he could find to actual lubricant. He didn't know if they'd use it, but it was best to be prepared for any eventuality. He wished he had condoms, too, but there was a big bowl of them right on the table at the Center, and if Stephen wanted things to progress that far, he could always grab a few on his way out.

The minutes crawled by, leaving Jay nervous and squirming on the bed, half-hard despite the nerves fluttering through his torso. They weren't centralized at his stomach, but rather had free rein over every inch of him from his throat to his groin. There was a good deal of excitement mixed in with the fear, and more than a dash of arousal, and the combination made him feel like he was going to crawl out of his skin.

When the front door opened, Jay had no doubt that it was Stephen. He opened his mouth to call a greeting, but his throat wasn't cooperating and he couldn't generate more than a soft, "Stephen." Seconds later, he was there, looming over the bed, impossibly tall and impossibly
there.
The weight of his gaze was more than Jay expected, and his fingers closed around the blanket unconsciously. Heat stained his face, neck, and chest, and he knew Stephen could see his blush. He probably looked like a tomato, but it was impossible to hold back the flush or dampen the heat growing beneath his skin. He might be able to get a bit of control of himself if Stephen would look away, but his eyes were unwavering.

"Do you know what I was doing when I got that picture?" Stephen asked.

Jay shook his head. He hoped it wasn't anything important.

"Going over the budget. And do you know what happened to me when I saw the text?"

Jay shook his head again.

Stephen answered by unbuttoning his pants and pushing the flaps aside to expose his hard cock, jutting out from the light nest of hair, the crown a deep red. Jay's groin tightened at the sight of it, blood rushing to his cock so fast it made him dizzy. He was still trying to get his bearings when Stephen pushed his pants off and stripped his shirt. If there was one thing Jay would never, ever get enough of, it was the sight of Stephen's body. And he'd never seen it quite like this before, in the full light, nothing obscured or covered in clothes. Jay reached for him without thinking, knowing nothing except the deep, constant need to touch his smooth skin and verify that he did, in fact, exist outside of Jay's imagination.

Stephen took his hand and climbed onto the bed, swinging his leg over Jay's hips and straddling him.

"You remember when you asked me if I ever thought about fucking?" Jay muttered thickly, his tongue too big for his mouth and his breath sharp, almost painful, in his throat.

"Yeah."

"I really, really want you, Stephen."

Stephen pressed his chest to Jay's, his mouth dipping tantalizingly close to Jay's lips. "That's good to know. But first things first."

"What... "

Stephen cut the question off with a firm kiss and Jay could only moan as Stephen's tongue sweetly invaded his mouth. His arms went around Stephen as he gave himself over to the kiss, his senses absorbing every single detail of Stephen's body. Objectively, it wasn't really that much different from any of the other dozens of kisses Stephen had bestowed on him, but it felt completely new all the same, worlds away from everything that came before it. There was no doubting voice in the back of his head, urging him to hold himself back, to hide himself before it was too late, and Stephen was moving so deliciously on top of him. Every time he shifted his weight or leaned into the kiss, Jay's body lit up, flesh burning hotly as the lightest friction along his skin.

The kiss ended far too soon for Jay's liking, but Stephen didn't seem perturbed by his protesting moan. He kissed down Jay's neck to his chest, moving lower than Jay had ever allowed before. Stephen wasn't in any sort of rush, and near as Jay could tell, he wasn't following any predetermined plan as he kissed over Jay's throat and chest, but he was very focused. Like he had a specific goal in mind, and he wasn't going to let anything stand between him and it. He smoothed his hand over Jay's chest, dragging his fingers through the patch of hair in the center while the tip of his cock nudged at Jay's thigh, leaving trails of warm pre-come.

Stephen's mouth reached Jay's nipple, and remembering how Stephen had reacted when Jay had caught Stephen's nipple between his teeth, he braced himself. The lapping of his tongue didn't feel any different from any other patch of skin he tasted--that is to say, it felt amazing but not surprising. Not until Stephen caught the hardening skin with his teeth and something white-hot flashed through him.

"God... "

"Like that?" Stephen murmured.

"Yes... yes... " His cock throbbed more with each passing second, and he felt every flick of Stephen's tongue radiating through his flesh. One tiny gesture could set off a whole series of quakes right down to his toes, his muscles tensing and relaxing in a complicated response to the miracle of Stephen's mouth. He shifted beneath Stephen, impatient and grateful, eager to feel more of Stephen. Eager to feel him everywhere.

"I'm going to show you so many things," Stephen promised with a kiss for each word. "I'm going to make you feel so good."

"You already do."

"It's going to get better." Stephen looked up then, blue eyes shining and beautiful. "Trust me?"

"Yes. Always."

Stephen lowered his head again, lips skimming over the peak of Jay's nipple before he moved lower. Jay caught his breath, unable to look away as Stephen continued his journey over Jay's stomach. The sight of Stephen's mouth just above his navel did something to Jay--he didn't know if it was good or bad, the way his stomach clenched, or the corresponding pain in his throat. He choked out Stephen's name, trying to tell him, or at least give him some sort of hint of what he was doing to him. Stephen responded by sliding his palms up Jay's sides, letting his long fingers create endless, dancing trails of heat over his chest.

"Here we go," Stephen said, sliding lower so his mouth was even with Jay's groin. "I can't believe you kept this gorgeous cock from me for so long."

"What... " Once again, Stephen rendered Jay mute before he could fully articulate his surprise or confusion. He gripped Jay by the base and lifted his head, drinking in the sight of Jay with obvious appreciation and hunger. How could Jay harbor any doubts when Stephen looked at him like
that
? Nobody could fake that level of desire, and Jay couldn't think of a good reason to try, either.

Stephen's tongue was impossibly pink against the ivory of Jay's skin. The first touch was slow and thorough, the flat swiping over Jay's leaking slit. Stephen closed his eyes and sighed at the taste, his tongue traveling over him again and again, like he intended to catch every drop of arousal now coating Jay's eager flesh. He angled Jay's cock forward, lapping over the crown one final time before closing his lips around him.

Jay's hips shot forward before he even had the chance to register what was happening. If he'd been thinking--if he'd been capable of thought at all--he would have held himself back, letting Stephen take each inch at his own speed. But there was no time for that, no concept of
slow
or
wait
in his mind as the heat enveloped him. Instead of yanking away from him, Stephen moaned and relaxed his jaw, thumb and forefinger forming a ring around Jay's base, holding him in place as Stephen claimed the final inches. The muscles of his throat were soft and firm at the same time, forming a perfect seal around his sensitive tip.

The pressure felt like enough to break him. He thought he would shatter, shouting Stephen's name like a joyful prayer. But somehow, his flesh held together, bound by imperfect skin and ragged, hard breaths. Jay let his eyes fall shut, but he missed Stephen in the darkness, and when he opened them again, Stephen was staring at him through his lashes, his skin pulled taut as he hollowed his cheeks. The suction was incredible, forcing the blood right to the surface of his skin, and Jay couldn't believe he'd survived so many years without experiencing this. It was more than just a physical sensation, more than nerve endings responding to stimuli and heat, more than pleasure--there was something intoxicating in the knowledge that somebody wanted to do this with him at all.

Stephen set a slow, deliberate pace, and from the look on his face and the way he moved, it seemed like he would be quite happy to suck Jay's cock for the rest of the afternoon. Jay would be happy to let him, except he didn't think he could survive this miraculous level of attention for very long. The base of his spine was already tingling, and it wouldn't take much more to break him apart. Finally, Jay had to close his eyes, because another second of watching Stephen would be a second too much.

When Stephen started to increase his tempo, Jay rose to meet his mouth, his hips automatically rocking forward for each stroke. Soon, he realized
he
was doing most of the moving, and Stephen was letting him fuck his throat. He didn't even have the time to voice a warning before everything exploded. Once his orgasm was triggered, that was it. He was flying, aware of nothing except the waves of pleasure rolling through him and the texture of Stephen's lips as they formed a tight seal around his base. His cock jerked against Stephen's tongue and the roof of his mouth, his cock buried in the impossibly tight flesh as he shot again and again. Stephen swallowed every bit of it, his throat working until Jay's cock finally stilled.

"Oh, my God," Jay moaned.

Stephen released him with a loud, almost obscene,
pop.
"Good?"

"Oh, my God."

"Now the next time I try to get into your pants, are you going to push me away?"

"No."

Stephen smiled at him, and there was still a thin string of come clinging to his the corner of his mouth. The sight of it went directly to his flagging erection, and he was hard again in an instant.

"I need you, Stephen. Please."

Stephen crawled up his body again, leaning over to snag the bottle of baby oil. "I need to get ready for you."