Pirandello's Henry IV (4 page)

BERTOLD
   Yes, sir, and what I'm telling you is, I've had enough.

MATILDA
   So he's not as calm as you made out.

BERTOLD
   No, my lady, it's not him, it's those other three—talk about him needing humouring, Your Lordship, they're the crazy ones round here—

Landolf and Harold enter in a hurry, anxious, but stop at the threshold.

LANDOLF
   Can we come in?

HAROLD
   Begging your pardon, sir . . .

DI NOLLI
   Come in!—What's going on? What do you think you're doing?

FRIDA
   (
scared
) I'm going, I don't like this—

DI NOLLI
   Don't, Frida . . .

LANDOLF
   My lord, this fool . . .

BERTOLD
   Oh, thanks very much—

HAROLD
   He ruined everything, sir, by barging out of there—

LANDOLF
   Himself is now beside himself, we can't hold him, he's ordered his arrest and wants to pronounce sentence from the throne—what should we do?

DI NOLLI
   Lock the door!

Harold goes and locks the door.

HAROLD
   Ordulf can't hold him on his own.

LANDOLF
   My lord, maybe if we announce them right away, to distract him . . . Do you gentlemen know who you are going to be?

DI NOLLI
   Yes, it's all decided . . . (
to the Doctor
) If you're ready, Doctor . . .

FRIDA
   Well, I'm not, Carlo! I'm going—please come, Mother, please . . .

DOCTOR
   I say, he's not armed, is he?

DI NOLLI
   Of course not! Frida, don't be a baby—you wanted to come.

FRIDA
   No I didn't, it was Mummy.

MATILDA
   Well, I'm ready. What do we have to do?

BELCREDI
   Is it really necessary for me to dress up?

LANDOLF
   Absolutely essential, sir! Look at us. I'm afraid there'll be hell to pay if he saw you dressed like that.

HAROLD
   He'd think it's the work of the devil.

LANDOLF
   What's worse he might think it's the work of his deadly enemy.

BELCREDI
   Gregory VII!

LANDOLF
   Exactly. He calls him the anti-Christ.

BELCREDI
   The Pope?—that's a good one.

LANDOLF
   Yes sir—and says he brings the dead to life, practises all the diabolical arts—he's terrified of him.

DOCTOR
   Paranoia, quite normal.

HAROLD
   He'd lose control.

DI NOLLI
   (
to Belcredi
) We can wait outside—it's only the Doctor who has to see him.

DOCTOR
   What, you mean on my own?

DI NOLLI
   They'll be with you!

DOCTOR
   Ah, no, I thought the Countess . . .

MATILDA
   I do—I am—I'm staying—of course I'm staying, I want to see him again!

FRIDA
   What for, Mummy?—please come . . .

MATILDA
   (
imperiously
) Stop it—this is what I came for. (
to Landolf
) I'll be . . . the mother-in-law, Adelaide.

LANDOLF
   Right. Bertha's mother, fine, you won't need any more than a cloak and a coronet . . . (
to Harold
) Get on with it, Harry.

HAROLD
   What about the Doctor?

DOCTOR
   Yes . . . we thought, the Bishop . . . Bishop Hugo of Cluny.

HAROLD
   Abbot of Cluny, sir—right . . .

LANDOLF
   He's been here lots of times.

DOCTOR
   Lots of . . . ?

LANDOLF
   No problem, it's a simple costume.

DOCTOR
   But . . .

LANDOLF
   He won't remember you, he doesn't take in faces, only the clothes.

MATILDA
   That should help.

DI NOLLI
   We'll go, Frida—come on, Tito.

BELCREDI
   If she's staying, I'm staying.

MATILDA
   I don't need you here.

BELCREDI
   I didn't say you needed me—I'd like to see him again, too, any objections?

LANDOLF
   It might look better if there were three of you.

HAROLD
   So, what's he . . . ?

BELCREDI
   Oh, just find something simple for me . . .

LANDOLF
   (
to Harold
) A Clunatic.

BELCREDI
   A Clunatic? What's that?

LANDOLF
   The Abbot of Cluny's retinue—in a Benedictine habit. (
to Harold
) Go, go! (
to Bertold
) You, too, Bertold—and keep out of sight for the rest of the day. No—wait—(
to Bertold
) bring in the costumes he gives you. (
to Harold
) And then go and announce they're coming—Duchess Adelaide and Monsignor Hugo of Cluny, got it?

HAROLD
   Got it!

Harold and Bertold exit.

DI NOLLI
   We'll make ourselves scarce.

Di Nolli and Frida exit.

DOCTOR
   (
to Landolf
) He likes me, doesn't he?—I mean, Hugo of Cluny?

LANDOLF
   Yes, don't worry, Monsignor has always been received with the greatest respect here. You don't worry yourself either, my lady. He never forgets that you both spoke up for him when he'd been waiting two days in the snow, half frozen outside Canossa and the Pope let him in finally . . .

BELCREDI
   And what about me?

LANDOLF
   You just keep back and act respectful.

MATILDA
   I wish you'd wait outside.

BELCREDI
   Aren't you getting a bit . . . ?

MATILDA
   Whatever I'm getting, I'm getting. Leave me alone.

Bertold returns with the garments.

LANDOLF
   Ah—wardrobe! The cloak for the Countess.

MATILDA
   Wait, I'll take off my hat.

LANDOLF
   (
to Bertold
) Lose the hat. (
to Matilda
) May I?

MATILDA
   Aren't there any mirrors here?

LANDOLF
   Outside. If Your Ladyship would rather see to herself. . . ?

MATILDA
   That would be better. Let me have it; I'll be back in a minute.

Matilda takes her hat and goes out with Bertold, who is carrying her cloak and coronet. Meanwhile the Doctor and Belcredi put on the Benedictine robes as best they can.

BELCREDI
   I wasn't frankly expecting to join the Benedictines. It's a pretty expensive form of insanity, this!

DOCTOR
   None of them come cheap.

BELCREDI
   Yes, but when there's a fortune at one's disposal . . .

LANDOLF
   You're right, sir—we have an entire costume department, everything perfectly made from period patterns. It's my personal responsibility to commission trained costumiers. We spend a mint.

Matilda reenters wearing cloak and coronet.

BELCREDI
   Ah!—beautiful! You look like a queen.

MATILDA
   You look like an ostrich in holy orders. Take it off.

BELCREDI
   Have you seen the Doctor?

DOCTOR
   I know, it's too bad . . . never mind . . .

MATILDA
   No, the Doctor's fine . . . but you, you are ridiculous!

DOCTOR
   (
to Landolf
) Does he receive people often?

LANDOLF
   It depends. Sometimes he demands to see this or that character, and then we have to find somebody who's willing . . . Women, too.

MATILDA
   Oh?—women, too?

BELCREDI
   You don't say. In costume? (
pointing at Matilda
) Like that?

LANDOLF
   Well, you know, women who'll do it.

BELCREDI
   Ah. (
to Matilda
) Watch yourself—this could be tricky.

Harold enters, gesturing for silence.

HAROLD
   His Majesty the Emperor!

Ordulf and Harold take their positions. Ordulf holds the imperial crown, Harold the sceptre with the eagle and the orb with the cross.
HENRY IV
enters.

HENRY
   (
bowing
) My lady . . . Monsignor . . .

Henry sees Belcredi, and is about to bow to him too, but turns to Landolf, and whispers.

HENRY
   (
cont
.) Isn't that Peter Damian?

LANDOLF
   No, Your Majesty, he's a monk from Cluny attending the Abbot.

HENRY
   Peter Damian! It's no good looking to the Duchess, Peter!

On my oath, Duchess, I've had a change of heart toward your daughter. I admit I wanted to divorce her and would have done if he hadn't stopped me—because there were others who'd have played along—the Bishop of Mainz, for one, he was willing for a hundred and twenty farms . . . (
He
glances at Landolf, a little lost, and quickly says:
) Still, I shouldn't be speaking ill of clerics here . . . (
becoming humble again with Belcredi
) I'm grateful now, believe me, I'm grateful to you for stopping me. My life has been one humiliation after another . . . and now here I am in sackcloth, as you see. (
suddenly changing tone
) Bear up. No matter—clear head, keen eye, straight back—come what may—(
resuming
) I know how to correct my path where I have erred—I'll even prostrate myself before you, Peter Damian. I take it it's not you who's been putting it about that my saintly mother spread her legs for the Bishop of Augsburg?

BELCREDI
   Er, no, that wasn't me.

HENRY
   Ha! The nerve of it. (
staring at Belcredi
) No, I don't think you've got it in you. (
tugging the Doctor's sleeve
) It's always “them,” isn't that so, Monsignor?

HAROLD
   (
quietly prompting the Doctor
) Oh yes, those grasping bishops . . .

DOCTOR
   Right, yes . . . them . . .

HENRY
   They'd stop at nothing. Poor little boy that I was, playing with my toys, a king and didn't know it . . . I was six when they tore me away from my mother, an innocent to be used against her, against the dynasty itself. . . profaning, picking and stealing . . .

LANDOLF
   Your Majesty . . .

HENRY
   Yes, all right. But these disgraceful slanders against my mother is going too far.

I cannot even mourn her, Duchess. I turn to you because you must have a mother's heart. She came to see me, from her convent, a month ago. They tell me she's dead, (
smiling
sadly
) But I can't grieve for her, because if you're here and I'm in sackcloth, that means I'm twenty-six.

HAROLD
   (
whispering, comforting
) So it follows she can't be dead, Your Majesty.

HENRY
   So I'll grieve for her all in good time.

Henry shows Matilda his hair colour, almost coquettishly.

HENRY
   (
cont.
) Look!—still blond! (
confidentially
) For you. I don't care for myself. Though it helps . . . a little touch . . . trim the sails of time, you follow me, Monsignor?