Read Pink Wellies and Flat Caps Online

Authors: Lynda Renham

Tags: #Humor & Entertainment, #Humor, #Love; Sex & Marriage, #Literature & Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor

Pink Wellies and Flat Caps (41 page)

BOOK: Pink Wellies and Flat Caps
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I realise he is still holding my hand and against my
will I snatch it away. I am shaking with anger and desire, and at that very moment I couldn’t hate him more. I open my mouth to speak but the sound of screaming stops me. We turn to the woman who has rushed into the hall whipping off her mask as she does so.

‘I’ve just seen flames and smoke coming from Mona’s. Oh God, someone do something.’

Chapter Thirty-Five

 

‘Shit, they’ve started already,’ cries Georgie. ‘Of course, it may just be the flares …’ her voice breaks and I see she is crying. ‘God Ali, I’m so scared. I never really thought it would happen.’

The hall is in bedlam with people talking on their mobiles. Dominic’s voice booms over the loudspeakers and I look up to see him on the stage.

‘Keep calm everyone, everything is fine. We’ve been on the phone to Mona and it was just some Christmas fireworks. No need to worry. Everything is under control.’

He signals to the DJ.

‘Let’s get this show back on the road folks shall we?’

‘What’s he doing?’ shouts Georgie above the noise.

‘I don’t know,’ I say looking around for Edward but it is impossible to spot him. ‘We’ve got to get to Mona’s and warn the others. Chuck leaflets everywhere. Give me some. I’m going to the loo to get out of this Spanx before I explode in it.’

I grab some leaflets and wobble to the loo where I struggle out of the corset, the whole time forcing myself not to think of Edward and Sara and their forthcoming engagement. How could he do that to her? What a bastard. The memory of his hands on me makes me again feel like I am on fire. I can’t believe Edward could be so cruel.
I fight back tears of frustration. I don’t have time for this, I have to rescue Pepper and help the other farmers. Oh Charlie, how could you do such a terrible thing? Leaving leaflets on the sink I dash out of the loo my stilettos clip-clopping in the empty hallway. Turning the corner I walk straight into Dominic’s arms.

‘There you are,’ he says, irritation in his voice.

‘Dominic, we have to get back. You have to help us stop this mayhem that Charlie is planning and …’

Something about his expression stops me dead. I step aside him to walk past.

‘I’ll have to tell Charlie to keep you on a tighter lease in future,’ he says, grabbing me by the wrist.

‘What!’

My stomach somersaults and I feel like I am going to throw up. He pulls me back towards the loo.

‘I should have known it was you,’ he says laughing.

I don’t know what he is talking about but I do know he is scaring me.

‘I don’t know what you mean Dominic but I really think you’re not hearing me. Charlie is planning
…’

‘Oh for God’s sake Alice, stop whining. I know what Charlie is doing.’

He spins me round to face him.

‘Dominic Montfort, the president of the FFFAA, very plea
sed to make your acquaintance.’

His voice echoes in the cold hallway and my head spins. What did he say? No, that can’t be right. Just a minute
though, didn’t Charlie say the president lived in Cornwall?

‘But you ate
meat
. You cooked a meat dinner for me. Why are you saying this? You’re a farmer …’ I say naively.

He shakes his head impatiently.

‘Do grow up Alice. You don’t for one minute think I give a shit about the stupid animals do you? It’s the land I want. Do I look like a farmer to you? I nearly had Trenowyth but you fucked it up.’

‘Me?’ I say
; my voice hoarse. It’s like I’m in some awful nightmare.

‘Getting that stupid Edward to fall in love with you. Of course, he wasn’t going to bugger off to New Zealand once you came along was he? I can’t say I blame him,’ he says, running his fingers across my breast like a spider while his other hand tightens around my wrist.

‘I could have got Trenowyth for next to nothing. I ran the place into the ground when the old man was ill.’

I gasp
.              

‘Don’t look so shocked dear Alice.’

How did I not see this Dominic before?

‘I was a help to the old man. You ask the village, I helped at the farm every day but he wouldn’t let me do anything. Every two minutes he forgot what he had told me. I ask you, how was I supposed to keep up? It was no surprise they lost the milk licence,
the old man changed his mind every second, and he always forgot to clean the milking machines.’

‘He had dementia,’ I say.

I’m so stunned that all fight has gone out of me.

‘I nearly got it Alice and then fucking Fairfax comes along and gets all legal. Do you know how many houses can be built on the land these idiot farmers piss about on? Well, I’ll show you. After tonight, they’ll all want to sell what’s left of their farm’s land. The
re’ll be no farms for them to go back to. They’ll be begging me to take them off their hands and just think of all those animal lovers I will have pleased in the process.’

‘You’re sick,’ I stutter, punching at his chest feeling fear overwhelm me.

‘You bastard.’

I reel around at the sound of voice, although
I don’t need to look to know it is Edward.

‘I knew you were behind the ruin of the farm, I just needed you to admit it. You can expect to receive a summons tomorrow morning.’

‘Careful Edward,’ I scream. ‘He may have a knife.’

A knife? What am I saying? This is Stantonford not Whitechapel, and these are farmers not the bloody Essex Boys. I scream and turn away as Edward throws a punch.

‘This is from my father for what you did to his farm …’

‘Fuck you,’ yells Dominic as he falls to the floor.

The ballroom door bursts open and Georgie and Jed stand wide-eyed.

‘Let’s go,’ she says grabbing me. I pass Sara and another woman who is talking into her phone.

‘Ali,’ she says, stopping me. ‘What’s happening?’

I feel my face grow hot.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I say, looking down and see that I have a wine stain on my dress. I stupidly try to remember when that happened. She tilts my head up and smiles.

‘It’s not your fault. We’re grateful you have come to warn us.’

Georgie tugs at my arm.

‘Come on Ali, Jed is waiting. We have to hurry. The police will be here soon and then Charlie will know it was us,’ she says anxiously.

I nod.

‘I mean about Edward. I really do hope you’ll both be very happy.’

Her face creases and she cocks her head to one side.

‘I don’t know what you mean?’

I sigh.

‘You and Edward getting engaged, I want you to know I am thrilled for you both.’

Like hell I am. God, I am a good liar.

‘I’m not getting engaged to Edward,’ she laughs. ‘Whatever gave you that idea? I love him like a brother and he has been great helping me come out to
Mum and Dad. It’s Frankie I’m marrying,’ she says pointing to the woman on the phone beside her who nods absently to me as she talks animatedly into the mouthpiece.

‘Although, if I was into men
, Edward would certainly be my choice.’

‘Close your mouth,’ whispers Georgie
. ‘The place is full of bugs. Now, come on.’

She pulls me roughly by the hand.

‘Oh, and congratulations,’ she calls back to Sara.

‘She’s a lesbian,’ I say, gasping as the cold air hits me.

‘There are a lot of them about. Shameful isn’t it. Now, will you please focus?’

I’m not sure I can take any more surprises. I’ll be discovering Charlie is a transvestite next.

Chapter Thirty-Six

 

I can’t take my eyes off the flames from Mona’s barn. The smell engulfs me. Mona’s screams resonate above the sirens from the fire engines and I hate Charlie more than I have ever hated anyone in my entire life. There are cows mooing and running in panic while Jed and the others struggle to get them under control. Georgie weeps beside me and all I can do is look down at my feet and for some stupid reason think of my trainers in the boot of the Jag and feel a need to go back and get them.

‘How did we get the time so badly wrong?’ asks Georgie, her tear
-streaked face imploring me.

My thoughts drift to an image of the Phantom of the Opera.

‘Dominic must have told them to start earlier once he realised we knew.’

Mona stands beside me staring at the remains of her farm buildings, sobs wracking her body.

‘Why would they do this?’ she asks.

I have no answer to give her. I want to think that Charlie believes what he is doing is good. That he really believes in this cause but I
’m starting to see him as an egocentric maniac who got brainwashed by the likes of Dominic. Memories of him praising the president at the FFFAA meetings flood my brain. How could he have been so stupid, so naïve? It doesn’t seem possible. Why didn’t he see Dominic for what he was? I put my arms around Mona and hold back my tears.

‘I’m so sorry Mona. We’ll get it back the way it used to be
…’

‘We won’t,’ she sobs.

‘We will,’ I insist. ‘We will Mona, I promise.’

Jed walks towards us, his face red from the heat and perspiration running down his face.

‘We’ve got most of the herd Mona. They’ve taken the sheep and the cowsheds are ruined, but we’ll get the bastards. We will get them.’

He turns to me and shakes his head.

‘I swear when I have finished with Dominic he will wish he’d never been born,’ he grunts and walks away.             

‘Jed wait,’ Georgie calls
. ‘Where are you going?’

‘Matt Hardy’s, his place is a mess apparently. We’ll be at this all night. I really don’t know how you can even consider marrying that wanker Alice, I really don’t.’

‘I’m coming with you,’ Georgie says and looks earnestly at me.

‘I’m sorry,’ I say, feeling that everything is my fault.

‘Thanks to you we have a list of the farms. That helps. I’m only hoping the police stop them soon. They don’t hold out much hope though. Your wonderful fiancé has good intelligence it seems. He is always one step ahead of us,’ he says, looking closely at me.

Georgie gasps.

‘Jed, what are you saying?’

He shakes his head in confusion.

‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, it’s going to be a long night.’

‘Is Edward okay?’ I ask quietly.

‘I’ve not heard anything. Strange isn’t it, that Edward’s farm doesn’t get torched?’

‘Jed, I
…’

He shrugs and allows Georgie to grab his arm.

‘Are you coming with us?’ she asks.

There’s nothing I can do to help
.

‘Can you drop me at the Jag? I want to get my trainers and go to see Pepper. I need to talk to Edward too.’

‘Like he wants to talk to you,’ mumbles Jed.

I ignore him and take Georgie’s hand. Ten minutes later and I am standing by the Jag. Georgie kisses me and we agree to meet back at the B and B. Sirens are screaming and all I want to do is plug my ears so I don’t have to hear them any
more. How can this be the work of my future husband? My engagement ring sparkles at me. I angrily pull it off and chuck it into the glove compartment. The future seems so unknown now. I know that I cannot marry Charlie. I will never be able to forgive him for this. Whatever the future holds I need Edward to know how sorry I am. I start the Jag and glimpse my face in the mirror. I attempt to tidy my messy hair and finally give up. It is hard to remember that we had started the evening looking so good. We had been happy and feeling positive that we could stop the operation. The truth is we never believed it would actually happen, at least not like this. Driving to Trenowyth reminds me of the first time I had driven there. It feels like only yesterday that I had nervously driven down the lane to the farm. I follow the bend and take the turning for the dirt track and feel my pulse quicken. An orange glow lightens the sky and my breath catches in my throat when I smell smoke. It’s probably just stuck in my nostrils from earlier I tell myself. However, that doesn’t stop my heart from hammering in my chest. Reaching the gate I take a deep breath before stepping out of the car to open it. The burning smell hits me like a smack in the face and for a second it is difficult to breathe. Before I know what I am doing I have jumped back into the car and am pushing my foot hard onto the accelerator. Oh God, please let Edward be okay? Please God, oh please God. Grabbing my Blackberry I see there is no signal.

‘Goddam it.’

The car roars down the lane and for one awful second the car seems to lose control as I skid to avoid a stray sheep that stands in the road.

‘Fuck,’ I bang the Blackberry against the steering wheel.

Trenowyth is ahead of me. I can hear Molly barking and wonder where she is. Please don’t let her be trapped anywhere. All the farmhouse lights are on but my eyes are glued to the barns. The smoke from the fire irritates my throat even as I sit in the car and I struggle to open the door. I fall from the Jag as my legs give way and sit in the mud staring at the flames and feeling their heat. Then I am up and hurtling towards the burning buildings as though my life depends on it. The air is thick with smoke and my head thumps. I stop, feeling my body go numb with panic. I don’t know what to do. I literally don’t know what to do. I dash back to the car, coughing and choking. Mercifully there is a bottle of water on the back seat which I use to soak the Lycra corset and hold it over my mouth before venturing back to the farmhouse. Feeling the Blackberry vibrate in my hand I look to see it is Georgie calling. Frantically I gasp into the mouthpiece. I try to speak but just splutter something incoherent before it cuts out. My eyes are watering so much that I can barely see, but I make out the outline of Edward. He is carrying Pepper in his arms and heading for the house with Molly at his heels.

BOOK: Pink Wellies and Flat Caps
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