Authors: Carolina Soto
Trying to open my eyes I was hit by the blinding light. “The baby.”
What the fuck! How long did I sleep? We have a baby now?
I started sweating and my opened eyes. “Michelle is having the baby, the plane is waiting for us.”
My best friend’s uterus had the worst timing in the world. The last thing I wanted was to spend the weekend with Mr. Bastard, yes, he was Mr. Bastard again. As if yesterday I hadn’t sent him to hell, and as if we were the happiest couple on Earth, we had to fly to Chicago, where that little bitch was.
Stupid yes, but, have you ever been angry with someone because of a dream and when you wake up you are still upset, even when everything was just a dream? Well, that’s exactly how I was feeling. Even when he hadn’t cheated on me, in my heart the fact that I couldn’t trust him, was just equally disturbing.
“Sorry Dylan, I think you didn’t notice what happened yesterday. But no, I don’t want to travel with you when we are in this raw state.”
“Katherine,” he sat down on the corner of my bed, resting a hand over my leg, “I know you are still mad. And we’ll talk about this, I promise. But please, just let’s go, ok?”
Count to ten…
There were not enough numbers to grow the humility and maturity that I needed for this. But it was Michelle’s baby, once again Marc and Michelle’s relationship was messing with me. “I need time.” I saw how the air left his body. “I need to pack and to get ready.”
Challenging the frozen wall that I had raised back up in the past 24 hours, he kissed me just on the corner of my lips. “Your bag is already packed, just get ready. And hurry, Marc was almost fainting.” I nodded and walked to my bathroom avoiding the weapons of mass destruction, also known as his eyes.
After getting dressed, without talking, I got into the SUV and avoided the blue stare before it could make me yield. I was lost in my thoughts when the car stopped and Dylan took my hand. “Where are we?” He made me get out of the car before answering.
Standing behind me, he pressed himself against my back, whispering in my ear. “I need to remind you of us. Of what we are.”
Listening to that I knew where we were. Our Bethesda Fountain. We walked and instead of taking his usual place in my lap, we both sat with our backs against the column. The only contact between us, his hand holding mine making small circles over my skin with his thumb. “I am sorry for not explaining to you about Tamara. I thought you weren’t going to believe me. I wasn’t even sure about telling you the truth.”
“We are so fucked up!”
Adding to my mental list.
With his low laugh, he brought our entwined hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “I had never had to give explanations before you, not even to my parents. I am sorry.”
That brought an entirely different matter to the table. “Dylan, what happened to them?”
Slowly, he let his body fall over my lap, assuming his usual place when we were in “our spot”. “I had never said that to anyone before. There’s not much more to say, it wasn’t an accident. The investigation said someone had messed with the helicopter’s engine.”
“Do you have any idea of who could have done it?” I was dying to pass my hand over his hair, but I was still uneasy around him.
He shook his head. “No, there were lots of people interested in their death. You know how it is, when that amount of money is involved, people become expendable.” Turning his head, he searched my eyes. “I learnt the hard way not to trust in people. If all this Tamara thing had happened before you, I probably wouldn’t have tolerated it for a second time. The first time my dad’s friends stole our company it was too much for me. I can’t stand betrayal. ”
My poor Blue Eyes, so strong and yet so vulnerable. “Why do you trust in me?”
His eyes smiled before his mouth. “Because you don’t give a damn. You have said it before, you don’t need anything from me.”
Fighting my anger, I passed my hand over his hair, smiled and raised my eyebrow playfully. “I could want you sperm, in case I ever want blue eyed, perfect babies.”
Why? Why on earth would you say something that weird?
Stupid no-filter brain! I wanted to lighten the mood, but it came out in the worst crazy way.
But instead of freaking out, Dylan just laughed, a deep, hard laugh. “I can give you that. Of course, in case I ever want dark hair, perfect babies.” And he winked.
Don’t wink when I want to be angry at you Blue Eyes! You are killing me here.
“I would give everything to stay in this place with you forever.”
Foreve-what?
“But we have to go. I am pretty sure Michelle is about to murder my best friend.”
I let him take me by my hand to the SUV, and remained silent during the trip. His thumb remained making those silly small circles on my skin as a reminder of his presence. We got to the airport, and as soon as we got on to the plane, he let his head rest on my shoulder and fell asleep. Apparently he was exhausted after a night on my couch.
He deserved it!
“Dylan.” He hadn’t lost the contact between our hands since we left my apartment, and now we were in the hospital. As if this physical connection gave us the link we were missing. “Can we go back to New York as soon as we see the baby?”
I have the mental age of a three-year-old and I hate this city.
“We can do anything you want, as long as we do it together.”
Fuck!
The uncertainty of being there left my body the moment we opened the door and found the perfect portrait of a family. A really swollen, red faced Michelle was lying in the bed, just next to Marc, holding a little baby.
“There you are!” Maternity really changes people, it was probably because of the pain pills, but Michelle’s voice sounded calmed, relaxed, and deep. Nothing like her hyperactive self. “Come meet your nephew!”
Marc couldn’t stop himself, he startled Dylan with a great bear hug. “I’m a dad, man, I’m a dad.” I heard him whisper and I found it to be the cutest display I had seen between them. “I named him Brian, after Brian Leetch!” Even with his emotional detachment issues, Berkeley couldn’t help but smile.
When Dylan came to me I whispered in his ear. “Please tell me he has a family member called Brian Leetch?”
“Don’t even ask. It is the same Brian Leetch you are thinking.” My dumb friend let that man name her baby boy after the former Rangers’ captain. “He was our favorite player.”
“You are not naming my kids after hockey players, Berkeley!”
Where did that come from? Second time you’ve made baby references. Stupid hormones!
He just smirked and squeezed my hand in his. “Hold baby Brian, Katie.” Michelle broke our silence, and I awkwardly received the little baby cupcake that was being pushed to my arms.
Wow!
I was holding a beautiful, chubby, pink baby. I didn’t know how to do it properly, but it felt right.
I lost track of time holding the baby, taking him to the window. The sunlight would help me to analyze his tiny features. They were talking in the background, but the baby had my entire attention. “Ms. Katie, would you let Dylan hold him?” Without me noticing it, Marc was just behind me. And I probably had been lost in that little guy for a while by then.
“It’s ok, I don’t have to.”
Yes you have to Blue Eyes!
I was dying to see him with a baby. Hot guys look even hotter with babies or with cute puppies. Both were good options. Carefully I put baby Brian in his arms, and he held him as if he were made of crystal. Just what I had thought, the few moments that he carried the baby, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I saw him whispering things to his tiny ears, as if they were already friends; and it made me stupidly happy.
Soon Chelsea and Spencer came to the room, and that was our cue to leave. It was not prudent to have a big party in the baby’s room. “But before you leave let’s take a picture of the guys with the baby!” Chelsea was really enthusiastic about it. The new boy on their team. The three of them looked mesmerized with the little baby, and we could just drool over them.
“I love you and I’m more proud of you than I could have ever imagined.” I whispered on my best friend’s ear when we were saying our goodbyes.
Her blissful face gave me an immense happiness. “You finally found the guy Katie, now just don’t lose him.” She winked at me, even her epidural hadn’t let her forget that for years I promised her, the moment I would find a man I would talk to her about him.
“You are a very lucky man, that boy is perfect.” Dylan told Marc in a low voice, as if he was ashamed of displaying his emotions to another man. I could only agree with Berkeley, they were lucky. Planning it or not, they got the family they had always wanted. What I wanted…
As fast as we had went to Chicago, we went back to New York. I didn’t want to stay a second longer than necessary in that city. It sounds stupid, but it hurt me, when I thought my emotions couldn’t be more messed up, I felt hate for a city. My only expectations were to relax in my house and forget about the world. Just wanted to spend time with my best friend, yes, I’m talking about my TV and stop overthinking and analyzing life.
Dylan had been walking on thin ice, since he knew I was not thrilled with him. But his cautiousness was lost the moment we arrived on New York’s tarmac. “I promised your parents we were visiting them this weekend. We have to get going.”
Are you fucking kidding me!!!
He must have damaged his head during his brief Polo career. There was no way someone could be so slow naturally.
In the last 30 hours I had broken up with him, left him, barely made up, flew to Chicago and came back home. I could barely decide how I felt about him, and he wanted to go and spend the weekend with my parents.
In his fucking dreams!
When did my life become a cheap daily soap opera? “Sorry Berkeley, there’s not a chance in hell.”
“I planned it with them long ago Katherine, they are waiting for us.”
Damn!
If only I had a real reason I could have avoided it. I was not sure that my anger over an imaginary situation, and my impossibility to control my emotions were motives enough. The tough part was that I couldn’t measure the lower risk action, not going and be suspicious or letting my parents see how broken we were. How I wished I didn’t have to see those distracting eyes while deciding. My mom’s message saying they had everything ready for us, made the decision for me.
I shook most of the time, and tried to ignore the traitorous highway. This was the road to my house, and I would have to suck it up and ignore the panic that invaded my body. By the time we arrived, Mommy and Daddy were already waiting for us, the table was set, and a delicious lunch was ready. “Princess, show Dylan his room and come to the table before everything gets cold.”
It was not even midday and I had already flown to Chicago, came back, and drove to the Hamptons. We walked towards the guest room and I could hear how Dylan was clenching his jaw. “You are staying here with me, right?”
Poor, naïve boy.
“Of course not, I have my room upstairs.” I was holding a laugh, even when we were still in that rough place, the look on his face was priceless.
“You care to explain to me?” The fingers that were scratching his chin in a frustration display almost cracked me.
“This is my house, and I don’t care what we do outside of it, but since here I sleep in a room with a crown drawn on the door, I won’t sleep with you. I will encourage the fantasy that I’ll be virgin until my wedding night to my parents, as much as they encouraged in me the fantasy of Santa Claus. Let’s face it, even after my wedding night it will be damn awkward for me! I like to think of them as holy spirits, and I know they think the same about me.” I winked at him and patted the empty bed.
“If I had known this, I would have never talked you into coming.”
He was two seconds from pouting, and let’s face it, it was hilarious. “Don’t worry, Berkeley. I’m still mad at you, so this is much better than my couch.”
After leaving his things, a reluctant Dylan and I returned to the table. “Kids, I am so happy that you are finally here!” My mom’s smile was so big, that I mentally thanked Berkeley for dragging my ass here. Even when they had already met him, it was the first time I have ever brought a man home. So in her romantic heart, this was a big event.