Pierce My Heart (Women of Willowbrook Book 1) (38 page)

Afraid to find out I’m wrong, and right.

Just, afraid.

“Jake. Baby, please,” I beg, tears clogging my throat as I try to break through.

His head finally lifts and any words, any feeling, any
breath
, I have left in my body is wiped out.

His face is a blank stone slab, but his eyes are rolling with fire. A fire that promises pain to whomever challenges it.

Pain to me because I’m challenging it.

“Leave.”

I shake my head, determined to fight for him and against my fears.

“No.”

His face loses the blank look and gets hard, kicking my beating heart into high gear.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Because you promised,” I whisper, knowing full well I’m fighting dirty and not caring one bit. “Don’t break your promise, baby.”

His eyes snap shut as he drops his head, his shoulders tensing before his hands unclench.

Moving forward until only inches separate us, I lift my hand and wait.

I wait for him to make the choice this time.

When his bloodied hand lifts towards me my entire body sags with relief and my heart soars. Trying to hold my relief in, I reach out and gingerly hold his hand while I inspect it.

He managed to slice his palm and thumb, but neither look deep enough to cause any real alarm. Nevertheless, I take a firmer hold and pull him out of the room and towards the bathroom across the hall. Stopping him in front of the sink as I grab a washcloth from the mirror vanity to clean his hand with.

Neither of us say a word.

No eye contact is made.

There’s no touch besides our hands, but I’ve never felt more in my life than I do at this moment.

Knowing, beyond all reasonable doubt, that I’ve made the right choice and so has Jake.

That we’ve chosen each other.

And whatever the phone call was about, we’d work through it.

Together.

*              *              *

Sliding into bed, both of us still silent, I keep my space.

He may have made the right choice but I’m not going to crowd him.

Like usual with Jake, I shouldn’t have worried. Not even a minute in, his arm winds tight around my waist as he pulls me back into his body.

Tightening it further, his lips touch my neck and he whispers, “Thank you, sweetheart, for making sure I kept my promise.”

My body relaxes into him as my fingers slip through. “Thank
you
, baby, for keeping your promise,” I whisper back.

A few minutes later, all tension leaves his body as he falls under.

Thoughts, feelings, and memories all flood my mind as I lay there replaying tonight, his choice, and our time together before. As more memories replay, the more the urge to say what I feel fills me. And because I think he’s asleep, I don’t censor myself as I start to fade out.

“I love you, Jake,” I say softly as I drift off to sleep.

And because I was out not thirty seconds later, I missed his body tightening as he rasped out, “Fuck.”

Something Beautiful

My eyes crack open when I hear the buzzing.

Reaching for my phone, I realize the warm weight of Jake’s arm is nowhere to be found. Shrugging off my worry at waking him, I hit the green button.

“Hello?”

“Anna? Crap, I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”

My brows furrow as I try to place the voice.

“No, it’s fine…” I trail off.

Silence descends.

“You don’t know who this is, do you?” the person asks with some amusement and a little exasperation.

“Um, no?”

“It’s Angie. I asked Jake for your number the other day, but I guess he never told you. I hope that’s okay.”

I push myself into a seated position.

“No, that’s no problem at all. I’m sure we would’ve exchanged numbers at some point,” I assure her.

“Oh, good,” she sighs, sounding relieved.

“Is something wrong?” I ask warily, wondering why she’s relieved.

“No. Well, not really. Frank and I happened to hear some things last night. I’ve never seen Jake as happy as he is with you, so I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you two. If I’m overstepping the lines, just tell me,” she says quietly, the concern in her voice bleeding through.

My body flushes with embarrassment at our fight being overheard, and because I’m touched by her concern—for myself and for Jake.

“I think everything’s okay. Something…intense happened last night, I’m not sure what, but I think everything will be okay.”

“Are you at Jake’s?”

I nod then remember she can’t see me. “Yeah, I’m over here.”

“Do you want to swing by for some coffee and muffins? I make a mean apple crumble muffin.”

“Sure, that sounds good,” I say with a smile, even if I’ll probably skip the coffee.

“Fab! How soon do you think you’ll be over?”

“Um,” I pause, checking the time. “Probably twenty minutes or so?”

“Alrighty. I’ll see you then, Anna. Miles, don’t touch that,” she hollers, hanging up before I can even respond.

Smiling, I shake my head and slide out of bed heading for the bathroom.

Teeth brushed, some powder and mascara slapped on, I slide my capris up before pulling my bright pink pullover over my white tank. When I don’t see my wedge, rhinestone flip flops, I head out of the bedroom in search of them downstairs (because even though I brought over loads of stuff in bags, nothing is ever actually in them). Jake’s gotten in the habit of tossing my stuff in the hamper with his things or my shoes in his closet, leaving his cleaning woman to put them away.

Which she did, in
his
closet.

I wasn’t sure what was more surprising, running into the woman with only a towel on one day while Jake was working late or finding out that he was the one who told her to put my stuff away with his when I told her she could just leave it by my bag (after she glared at me when I said she didn’t need to do my laundry at all).

Regardless, Nancy was a sweet older woman who actually lived on Jake's street. She told me that he agreed to help her fix some things around her house (since both her boys were grown and out of the house, busy with their own families, and her husband had since passed on) but would take no money from her. So, she told him that she’d tidy up around his place a few times a month.

All while I was wearing my towel.

Fun conversation that was.

I stumble across my shoes next to the couch and slip them on before heading for the front door, pausing when I hear my name.

Voices draw me towards Jake’s office, a moment of déjà vu assaulting me as I remember last night.

“Frank, man, I fucked up.”

“Jake, calm down.”

“Jesus, now I know how she feels when I tell her to relax,” he mutters as I near the door, and a small smirk hits my lips when I hear it.

“What?” the other man asks.

“Nothing.”

“How exactly did you fuck up?”

“Lost my shit with her yesterday. Roared in her face like goddamn lion, Frank,” he explains.

“Know, bud. That’s why I’m over here making a house call this early. Ang wouldn’t get off my ass. Even withheld her apple crumb muffins until I promised to come over and check shit out. What I don’t know is how that’s fucking up. You’ve heard Ang and I. Yelling isn’t exactly unheard of in a relationship,” Frank responds, a little put off about the muffins but still perplexed.

“Because I made a promise to her. A promise that didn’t specify but included never roaring in her face or telling her to fucking leave.”

“Did she?”

Jake chuckles humorlessly and I feel it deep in my gut, how wrong it sounds coming from him.

“No. She fucking stood there and took it, then fought. I could hear the fear and tears in her voice, but she still fought.”

“Again, Jake, nothing totally unheard of in a relationship. Got any passion in the bedroom, that shit’s bound to come into play in your lives. I’d know.”

“You don’t know the shit she went through with her fuckwad of an ex.
Fuck
. From what I know, I sounded exactly like him last night. Then she tells me she loves me. After that shit and when she thinks I’m asleep, she whispers it. Fucking whacked.”

My heart freezes and my vision blurs as my mind replays his words.

Fucking whacked.

Fucking whacked.

I shove away from the wall and move as quietly and quickly as I can down the hall, stopping in the foyer as my hands fist in my hair.

I have nowhere to go.

Nowhere to run.

No way to escape.

I’m stuck in a house with the man I love.

A man who thinks my loving him is
fucking whacked
.

My heart constricts as pain cuts through me at the thought.

I’m wrong, again.

Wrong about deserving someone like Jake, and wrong about deserving something beautiful.

When I hear footsteps I make a mad dash for the side door, almost tripping over Romeo and Juliet who’d been waiting on the porch to come in. Moving down the steps, I head for the side of the house, only stopping when I’m sure I’m out of sight. With my back to the wall I slide down to my butt, dropping my head into my hands as the tears flow and my heart splinters.

*              *              *

I’m not sure how long I sat here before I hear shouting, my name specifically.

“Anna.”

“Anna, honey. Where are you?”

“Annie,” Jake shouts, his voice hoarse.

I can’t make myself move while I listen to the shouts get further and further from me. And it isn’t until a cold nose shoves its way into my face that I realize they hadn’t gotten further. I just covered my ears.

Juliet is who the nose belongs to, behind her is Romeo, and behind him is a pair of long, strong legs covered in jeans.

Legs that crouch into a squat before I even have the chance to prepare myself.

Something that would’ve been pointless seeing as there’s
no
way I would’ve been prepared for what I see, or, more importantly, what I
feel
.

Jake’s thumb and forefinger hold my chin as he looks at me, his eyes lit with the kind of intense fire from last night, but mingled in with it is every emotion I’ve ever seen him aim my way. Including what I thought I’d figured out last night.

Seeing that emotion in the light of day, I have a hard time trying to deny what I saw.

Deny that it’s love.

“Jake—”

“Not a goddamn word, Anna,” he bites out, the fire in his eyes taking over.

He drops his hand only to grab hold of me the same way he pulled me from the car last night; cradled in his arms like something he thought was precious.

I don’t think I’ve ever had more conflicting emotions or thoughts rolling through my mind as I do at this moment. I have to squeeze my eyes shut to fight against the tears I feel clawing their way up.

When he clears the side door into the house, I hear a gasp that has me opening my eyes.

Frank is standing in the living room with Angie in his arms. I can tell by the sadness in her eyes and the hand at her mouth that she’s the one that made the noise.

Jake completely bypasses them and walks me up the stairs and into the bedroom before settling me on the bed, covering me with the sheet, then walking right back out the door.

I sit there for maybe a minute before Angie walks in and perches on the edge of the bed.

“Where’s Jake?” I ask timidly, afraid of what I’ll hear.

“He’s downstairs heating up some food for you. Asked me to sit with you and keep you company.”

I raise my eyebrow at her.

“Okay, he told me to sit my ass here and make sure you didn’t disappear.
Again
,” she emphasizes.

I guess I can take comfort from the fact he doesn’t want me to leave.

“Anna, what were you thinking? I thought you were coming over but when those twenty minutes had come and gone, I got worried. Especially when an hour turned into two and Frank had returned but hadn’t seen sight of you. Jake thought you were still sleeping; didn’t even know you were gone. What got into your head, girl?”

Guilt and tears clog my throat. “Angie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about,” she fires back with a look.

My eyes drop as I wring my hands.

“Anna…” she trails off, waiting.

“I was wrong,” I whisper.

“What?”

“I was wrong,” I say a little louder.

She drops her hand on top of mine and gives them a comforting squeeze. “Wrong about what, honey?”

I look up at her.

“Wrong about Jake. Wrong about us. Wrong about thinking I deserved someone like him. Something beautiful.”

Her eyes go wide and her mouth opens to say something, but the door banging open has both of us jumping as we swing our heads towards it.

Jake’s standing in the frame holding a tray of food with white knuckles and a steely look on his face.

A look that has my hands tightening in the blankets since it’s aimed directly at me.

“Out,” he growls.

“Jake—”

“Ang, ‘preciate it, but Anna and I need to talk some shit out,” he says, his tone brooking no argument as he walks further into the room and sets the tray on the dresser before crossing his arms over his chest.

Then again, Angie’s a mom and moms are the queens of that tone. Jake’s did little to scare her away.

“Jake, seriously. You need to hear—”

“Heard what I needed to hear when I stood outside the door. I hear you, Ang, and like I said before, I appreciate it. You guys helping, and you looking out for my girl, but this is between me and Annie,” he tells her gently, but firmly.

A smile breaks out across her face as she looks at him and then me. Dropping a kiss to my cheek, she gives my hands another squeeze before standing up and walking over to Jake to give his bicep a squeeze.

Once the door clicks shut, I expect Jake to turn his angry gaze my way and start in on me.

What I don’t expect is for him to round the bed and climb in, pulling me into his arms as he does so.

“Um…” I mumble, unsure of what’s happening.

“Quiet, Anna,” he says into my hair.

“Jake—”

“Anna.”

My body locks as annoyance pushes away the worry, his drawn out sigh speeding up the process.

“I wanna go home,” I tell him.

“Bet so, but you’re not.”

“You can’t keep me here like some prisoner,” I argue.

“Try me,” he fires back.

I let out a strangled noise of frustration.

The man is impossible.

Putting all my weight into it, I shove myself backwards, trying to escape his arms. Unfortunately, I only manage to move a few inches away before I find myself sprawled over Jake and my arms locked against his chest.

My head shoots back at so I can glare at him.

“You don’t want me here so just let me
go
,” I snap, too lost in my own feelings of hurt, annoyance, and heartbreak to notice the change that’s moved over Jake.

“Wanna explain that shit?”

“Nope,” I say with a pop and shake of my head, avoiding his eyes.

“Wanna explain why you were outside crying?”

Another head shake.

“Wanna explain why you don’t think you deserve something beautiful when you
are
that something beautiful?” he asks softly.

My lungs freeze and my eyes snap to his.