Pieces of Us (12 page)

With a sigh, I decided I should go talk to him, if only to tell him to leave and not come back. But I was pretty sure that wasn’t what I’d say. For some reason, whether I wanted to admit it or not, I longed for Cameron’s company. I shook my head to focus and pictured the huge scene that would play out if Cam woke up Owen and my dad.

I grabbed some shoes and a coat and tiptoed to the bedroom door. I opened it as quietly as I could, and when it started to creak, I squished myself through just as I’d done the last time Cameron left a rose under my window.

I tiptoed down the stairs and stood in the hallway for a moment, preparing myself. Then I put on my shoes and coat, I opened the door, and walked outside. Cameron stood on the steps.

Folding my arms over my chest like a protective barrier, I let out a sigh. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to tell you something. Will you come for a walk with me?”

I thought about it for a moment and nodded. If I yelled at him, which was highly probable, I didn’t want to wake up Owen and my dad.

“A short walk around the block,” I agreed harshly, pushing past him onto the lawn and down the driveway. I didn’t wait for him, but he soon fell into step next to me.

“What do you want to say?” I asked, my arms still folded over my chest.

“I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for ruining your dinner tonight. I honestly didn’t know you’d be there, and I also didn’t mean to be so rude to your boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” I corrected.

“Excuse me?”

“You called Owen my boyfriend. He’s my fiancé.”

Cameron nodded and looked down at his feet. “Right, sorry. I just didn’t want you to think I went there on purpose. When I saw him sitting there next to you in my parents’ home, like he was part of the family, I just lost my mind a little. I truly am sorry.”

I nodded as we turned the corner and walked toward the small park at the end of the street. I still felt so much anger toward him, but I also felt sympathy. I could remember exactly how it felt to see Cameron and Lucy together, so I knew how hard it must have been to see me with Owen.

“I’m sorry I slapped you.”

Cameron rubbed his cheek and smiled. “I deserved it. That and a lot more.”

We walked into the park in silence, and I sat on one of the swings, slowly moving back and forth with my feet still on the ground.

“Are you happy, Charlotte?” Cameron asked. He stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets.

“I really am. I wasn’t for a long, long time. But I’m finally doing okay.”

“Only okay?” he asked, taking a step toward me and placing his hands on the chains on either side of my head.

I pushed the swing back and ducked out from under him. I was not at all comfortable being that close.

“I’m great.” I plastered a smile on my face that I didn’t really feel.

Cameron looked down at his shoes, but I could see he was smiling.

“I’m really glad,” he whispered. “I want you to be happy.”

An uncomfortable feeling washed over me, and I looked around for something to do so I wouldn’t be standing there staring at him. I moved over to the monkey bars and started to swing across. Once I made it to the other end, I dropped down into the sand and found Cameron watching me with a smile.

“I’ve missed you,” he said simply.

I looked at him. I didn’t look for the man he was when I fell in love with him or the man who’d shattered me. I saw him as the man he was today, and I realized I’d missed him too. I missed the ease of my life when I was with him, how carefree and happy everything seemed. I missed when he was the last person I’d see before I fell asleep every night and the first person I’d see every morning

In that moment, I didn’t want to say something that would hurt him. Right now we were Cameron and Charlotte. The past didn’t matter.

“I’ve missed you too,” I said softly, meeting his gaze.

His eyes burned into mine, and for the first time since we started our walk, the sadness was gone, and he looked like he had some hope. But that hope in his eyes terrified me, and I wondered if it’d been a mistake to meet him tonight.

“I better get home,” I said, turning to walk out of the park. Cameron jogged after me.

“Let me walk you back,” he said softly, standing a little closer to me than I found comfortable.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you for your apology. It’s accepted. Goodbye, Cam.”

I jogged down the street and around the corner. I didn’t stop until I was safely inside the house. Then I slumped against the inside of the door, sliding all the way to the floor.

My fingers ran through my hair and gripped it tightly in frustration. What was I thinking? Did I really tell Cameron I’d missed him and talk to him like we were friends? As if nothing happened?

I banged my head back against the door. I’d been back in Fairfield for only a week and already Cameron had entwined himself in my life. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to come back. In the morning I’d talk to Owen about living in Hartford, I decided. We’d still be close to my dad, it would be way more convenient for Owen’s work, and I wouldn’t have Cameron in my face every day.

This decision made, I felt much calmer as I stood and quietly went back upstairs. I crept silently into my room and discarded my shoes and coat. I climbed back into bed and Owen rolled toward me, spooning me from behind.

Chapter Seven

Everything and Nothing

“I didn’t hear you kids come in last night, how was your dinner?” Dad asked, putting a forkful of eggs into his mouth.

Owen coughed and spat toast crumbs all over the table.

“It was fine,” I replied hesitantly.

“David and Ellen are very nice people,” Owen said stiffly, brushing crumbs off the table around his plate.

“I’m glad. To be honest with you, I was worried it might be an awkward night.” Dad chuckled. He finished his eggs and stood to rinse his plate in the sink. “See ya tonight, kiddo.”

“See ya, Dad,” I called as he ruffled my hair and disappeared out the front door.

Owen and I finished our food without speaking. I wasn’t sure how to broach the subject of living in Hartford with him, or if I should be honest about my reasons.

“Can I talk to you a second?” I asked as Owen stood up.

“Sure.” He sat back down and reached his arm across the table to stroke my hand. “What’s on your mind?”

“I was thinking…it doesn’t seem right for you to have to drive an hour to work every day. Why don’t we just live in Hartford? We’re still close enough to Fairfield that we can visit my dad whenever we like, but it will be more convenient.”

“I’ve already told you that I don’t mind the drive. Fairfield has always been your home, and I want you to be happy.”

“I’ll
be
happy in Hartford. Fairfield used to be my home, but I left and moved on with my life. I don’t think I belong here anymore.” I was going to try as hard as I could to explain this without dragging Cameron into it. I didn’t see any point in making Owen feel insecure when there was nothing for him to worry about.

“I don’t know — we already put the application in on that house,” Owen mused.

“I know, but we can withdraw it and look for a place in Hartford. Please just think about it?” I asked coyly, raising the tone of my voice slightly and looking up at him through my eyelashes. I knew that was a low thing to do, but I hoped his sexual frustration would play in my favor.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to look. The sooner we get our own place, the better.”

“Great! I know this will be much better for us,” I told him cheerfully. I was sure a one-hour buffer was all I needed to stop thinking about Cameron.

Owen and I spent the day together, lazing on the couch and watching some of Dad’s old black-and-white movies. I groaned when Owen dug out the home movies but allowed him to watch as a much younger version of me danced across the screen at my school recital, unwrapped Christmas and birthday presents, and then graduated from high school. I didn’t even realize my dad had kept all these, but it was nice to know he had a part of me with him.

Just after Dad came home from work, Owen set off on his drive back to Boston. He had to be back at work the following morning. I couldn’t wait for the next three weeks to be over so he could be with me all the time.

***

My hands gripped the steering wheel as the car swerved over the road. I tried to hold the wheel steady, but it wasn’t obeying. Quickly I pulled over to the side of the road. Rain poured down and water sprayed up on either side of the car as I stopped at the curb and turned off the engine.

I got out of the car and was drenched within seconds as I walked all the way around it to find a flat tire.

“Shit,” I swore under my breath.

I opened the trunk and stared at the spare and the tire iron. How the hell was I supposed to change the tire? I’d never done it before and didn’t even know where to start.

I jumped back in the car and pulled out my cell phone to dial my dad’s work number.

“Fairfield Police Department, how my I direct your call?” the nasally female voice asked.

“Hey, Margie, it’s Charlotte. Is my dad around?”

“Hey, sugar, he’s out on a call, but I can take a message.”

“Can you please ask him to call me on my cell when he gets back? It’s important.”

“Sure thing, honey.”

As I ended the call, my car shook with the force of the wind blowing off a passing vehicle. I groaned, having no idea what I was going to do. My dad might not call back for hours. Then another car came up the highway, slowed down, and pulled over onto the shoulder just in front of me.

The car door opened and a man climbed out, holding his jacket over his head. He ran up to my window and knocked, so I rolled it down. With the rain-spattered glass out of the way, I realized who it was.

“Cam?”

He peered through the window at me. “Charlotte,” he said with a smile.

“What are you doing out here?”

“I’m driving to Hartford for a dental conference. What about you?”

“I was driving to Hartford to look…for a house…” I trailed off.

His smile fell briefly, but it was firmly back in place almost before I could register it had been gone. “You’re not staying in Fairfield?”

“Owen and I were thinking of moving to Fairfield, but we’re also looking in Hartford.”

“Do you need a hand?”

“I’m all right. I just have a flat.”

“Let me have a look,” he said, turning to examine my tires.

I got out of my car and ran through the puddles to stand by him while he examined the damage.

“You don’t have to help. My dad will probably call me back and be here soon.”

“Well, I don’t think I can change the tire with this much water on the road anyway, so why don’t I take you home, and then your dad can change the tire for you later tonight?”

I looked at the car and at the water on the road, weighing my options. I didn’t really have many, but I didn’t want help from him. I decided I’d rather sit here in the rain than take a ride with him. I went back around to my door.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll just wait for Dad,” I called as I climbed in and slammed the door.

I closed my eyes and willed him to leave, but I knew that wasn’t likely.

Cameron knocked on the window and yelled something I couldn’t hear through the glass. I ignored him and turned on the radio, hoping he’d get the hint. But like the stubborn man I remembered, he kept knocking until I finally gave up and rolled down the window.

“What?” I yelled over the sound of the rain.

“Stop being stubborn! I’m just trying to help you!” he shouted, putting his hands on the open window edge.

“I don’t want your help, Cam.”

“Fine! You can give me gas money if that makes you feel better.” He threw his hands up in frustration.

If I gave him money for gas then it wasn’t really a favor. I’d be paying him for a service — I could think of him as a taxi driver.

“Come on, Charlotte, you know I’m not going to leave you out here alone, so you make the choice. Either you let me take you home, or I’ll just stand in the rain until your dad gets here.”

I thought about leaving him to stand in the rain all afternoon, but I liked the idea of being home…and dry. So I grabbed my handbag from the passenger seat and got out of the car, back into the pouring rain. I made sure the doors were locked before running over to Cameron’s car and climbing inside.

The warm air from the heater sent shivers down my spine as I settled into the seat and pulled my seatbelt across my chest. Cameron climbed in as well and pulled back out onto the street. He made a quick U-turn to head back toward Fairfield.

“What about your conference?” I asked.

“I’ll tell them I couldn’t get through because of flooding on the road.”

That sounded like a favor to me, and I scowled.
Gas money. Right!
I pulled out my purse and grabbed a twenty, slamming it down on the dashboard.

“That’s too much! It wouldn’t even be five dollars’ worth of gas to get you back to Michael’s house.”

“The other fifteen is for your inconvenience.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Char,” Cameron said, chuckling and shaking his head.

I held my hands up in front of the heater, allowing my gloves to dry and fingers to defrost.

“Can I ask you a question?” Cameron asked.

“No,” I shot back a little too quickly.

“Well, I’ve got you trapped in my car,” he said, laughing. “So I’ll ask it anyway, and you can decide not to answer if you choose.”

I kept my eyes on the heater.

“Why did you leave?

I turned to stare at him incredulously. Had he
really
just asked me why I left town?

“Are you serious?”

“Completely. I never understood why you left without even talking to me. Didn’t you want to hear anything I had to say? Or even say goodbye?” His voice was full of sorrow, and I felt the same sympathy for him I had the other night in the park. “After everything we’d been through together…how much we loved each other, I thought I at least deserved a goodbye.”

“I left because I saw you sucking face with your mistress, and I was angry with you!”

An unidentifiable emotion flashed over Cameron’s face before he turned off the highway toward Fairfield. “I wasn’t
sucking face
with her. It was a peck…and she wasn’t my mistress,” he said, finishing so softly I could barely hear him.

I opened my mouth to yell but thought better of it. I crossed my arms firmly over my chest to stop myself from slapping him again. “I don’t want to talk about this right now!” I seethed before turning my back to him and staring out the window.

“This was always our problem.”

I spun around to face him again, furious. “And what is
that
supposed to mean?” I demanded.

“This,” he said, waving his hand between us, “is exactly why we didn’t work out. We never communicated.”

“Really? I always thought we didn’t work out because you liked putting your dick in my friend,” I snarled before turning away again.

Cameron was silent, and I smiled, knowing I’d won that round. When he didn’t say anything for several minutes, I got curious and turned slowly to look at him over my shoulder.

He gripped the steering wheel, his jaw clenched.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said as we turned onto my dad’s street.

“Is that so? So, you
weren’t
fucking Lucy while we were married?” I shot back as he pulled up in the driveway and turned off the car.

He turned in his seat, looked me straight in the eye, and sighed. “If you’d allowed me to explain this five years ago, things might be very different.”

How would talking about the details have made me accept his affair?
He wasn’t making any sense.

He must have noticed my blank stare because he continued without waiting for me to speak.

“I know it won’t change anything now. I can see you’ve moved on, and I’m honestly happy for you, but don’t you want to know what really happened with us, Charlotte? Don’t you have any curiosity or sentimentality at all? Have you been able to forget what we had so easily?”

I sat in silence and processed his words. “What do you mean when you say
what really happened?”
I asked cautiously.

Cameron sighed again and braced himself on the steering wheel.

“This isn’t the place to talk about it. Will you meet me later tonight?”

“I can’t,” I said automatically.

Cameron gave me a half-smile. “Is your big policeman afraid of us spending time together?”

I laughed. “Hardly! He’s the one encouraging me to speak to you, so I can put the past behind me.”

“You mean, put
me
behind you.”

I didn’t say anything. We both knew he was right, and at the moment I didn’t feel like rubbing it in his face.

“He’s not good enough for you, Charlotte,” Cameron whispered.

My anger resurfaced, and I turned quickly to face him. “Owen has nothing to do with this. If you want to talk about our past, that’s one thing. But you can’t talk about my present life!”

“I do want to talk about the past, and I’m more than happy to leave Owen out of any future conversations. Trust me — he’s not my favorite topic.”

“Good.” We sat in silence for a moment as I stared at my father’s house.

“So will you listen to what I have to say?”

“I’ll admit that I’m curious about what you want to tell me. I don’t know what could possibly make me think differently about all this,” I told him. “I’ll let you know when I can meet you.”

I could have met him that night, but I didn’t want him to think I’d just drop everything whenever he wanted. Cameron could adapt to my schedule.

“Here’s my cell number,” he said, handing me a business card from his wallet. “Call me anytime.”

I looked at the card and flicked the corner of the cardboard with my fingernail.

Dr. Cameron Harper, D.D.S.
Harper Allied Health Clinic

Below this was a phone number and email address. I stared at the card for a long time. The first emotion I felt was pride. He’d done it — finished school and gone into partnership with his father, just like he always said he would. Something nagged at the back of my mind as I stared at the card, and I clenched my jaw as I remembered.

Harper Allied Health Clinic.
He worked with his father, who worked with Lucy.

My chest tightened, and I crumpled the card in my hand, a hard lump forming in my throat.

“What is it?” Cameron asked.

“Nothing.”

“Charlotte, please. Lack of communication has always been an issue for us. Please, just this once, tell me what’s upsetting you,” he begged, touching my arm.

I jerked away from him and took a deep breath, then another.

“You work with your father.”

Cameron gave me a confused look. “Well, not exactly. We work in the same building, but my office is three floors above his.”

“Your mother told me Lucy works for your Dad,” I added, gauging his reaction.