Pieces of Perfect (26 page)

Thirty-Two

             
The rest of the day passed with a slowness that should only be experienced by tortoises and snails.  There was something tragic in finding out that, despite having one of the best things in the world happen to you, it was still tainted.  Adam loved me.  I loved Adam.  But that love wasn’t built of rainbows and butterflies like it was supposed to be.  It was built from dark clouds and grisly shadows.  And I had no one to blame but myself.  
 

Not only was I to blame for our relationship resting on
a craggy foundation, mortared with half truths and dishonest actions, but I had also devastated Max.  I had led him on, strung him along, and then left him hanging.  
I was such a fucking bitch.  

              But I couldn’t fix things with Max.  Our relationship would never be what he wanted it to be.  And I felt that, on the whole, I had been honest with him about it.  With the exception of the fundraiser (
that fucking fundraiser)
and that brief incident in his car after dinner with his parents, I had always told him that he wasn’t my choice.  But I
had
given mixed messages, and I was surely going to burn in hell for it.  Actually, I welcomed hell.  It was currently preferable to my reality.
 

             
Though, that wasn’t entirely true.  I had Adam.  The one bright spot in my murky life.  And despite the fact that I ultimately didn’t deserve him, I sure as fuck wasn’t going to tell him that.
 
Everything would be okay as long as I had him.  I just knew it.  
 

             
As I drove home, I willed my eyes to pay attention to the road while my mind focused on other things.  I should have felt relieved.  I had finally resisted Max, told him that our sexual relationship was over, and what’s more, I had actually meant it this time.  This freed me up to give myself a hundred percent to Adam.  But I wasn’t relieved.  What I was, was fundamentally unhappy.

              And I stayed this way for the rest of the evening.  I put on a chipper facade when I talked with Adam on the phone, discussing how our days were (I was a little less than truthful during that part of the conversation) and when I could see him.

              “Tomorrow night?” he suggested.  “Eva has dance class from 6-9 because they’re preparing for a recital, which is going to be ungodly.  I really wish she would show interest in an activity that required more clothing.  Anyway, I can pick up some takeout and we can relax at your place.”
 

             
“Sounds perfect,” I said as I closed my eyes.  The image of Adam lazing on my couch was delicious and instantly brightened my mood.

              “Good.  See you then, babe.”

              “See you then,” I smiled into the phone.

              I hung up, thankful to Adam for putting me in the best mood I had been in all day.
 

*
              *              *

              I woke up late on Wednesday morning, still groggy from a night of restless sleep and bad dreams.  The most vivid dream I could recall was one in which I was a snake and I swallowed the head of a lion whole.  Now that was some fucked up shit.  

              I eyed the coffee house, but as I drove passed it, my mouth turning into a pout.  I had run out of coffee at home, and stopping was out of the question.  I would have been obnoxiously late for work if I had, even by
my
standards. I pulled my car into my parking space in the Swift faculty lot and power walked to the entrance of the building, my head bent as I tried to find my work keys in my purse.  

              I raised my head just in time to see Adam’s Yukon parked in front of the building.  A smile developed as I scampered to the open driver side window.

              “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” I said flirtily.
 

             
“I could say the same about you, beautiful.  Here, I got you this.”  He passed me a cup of coffee through the window.  “I stopped on my way and thought you might like one.”

             
God, how I loved this man.  
“You are a truly amazing human being.  I ran out of coffee this morning and I didn’t have time to stop.  Clearly,” I said as I looked down at my watch.  “I better get going.  But I’m still seeing your sweet ass tonight, right?” I asked with a sly smile.

              “Count on it,” he said gruffly, his voice deep with desire.

              “Great, have a good day.  Build stuff,” I said as I straightened and turned toward the school.  But as my head swiveled toward the building entrance, I halted abruptly.  
I guess I’m not the only one running late today.  
Max was walking toward the front doors, anger showing in his eyes before he looked away from me dismissively.

              “You okay?” Adam asked, leaning slightly out the window.    

              “Yeah,” I said, recovering quickly.  “I just wanted to wait until he went inside.”

              “Why?” Adam asked in a concerned voice.
 

             
“So I could do this,” I replied as I leaned up into the window, meeting Adam’s soft lips.  
 

             
I quickly straightened and left Adam smiling broadly in his car as I made my way into school.  I hoped that I wouldn’t see Max in the main office as I signed in and, thankfully, I didn’t.  Wherever he had gone, he had gone there fast.  I silently prayed that things wouldn’t always remain this way between Max and me.  I still wanted his friendship, but I wasn’t sure he would be able to give it.  And I couldn’t blame him.  As I hurried down the hallway to my classroom, I tried to push my problems with Max from my mind.   And when I walked into my room and my gaze locked on Eva, I managed to find more positive things to think about.
 

*
              *              *

              By the time fifth period arrived, I was starving.  I grabbed my bottle of water and headed down to see what disgusting muck they were serving for lunch today.  When I arrived at the faculty lunchroom, I was relieved to see that Max wasn’t present.  Even though I didn’t want him to feel like he needed to change his routine because of me, I really wasn’t up for dealing with him right now.  My day had been going pretty well, I was going to see Adam later, and I didn’t want to ruin all of that with high school drama.  Well, maybe not
high school
drama.  I don’t remember anyone in my high school fucking a random guy in an airport and then pursuing some wild sexcapades with him while also banging the boy who would’ve probably been voted “most likely to succeed” by his peers.   No, this was definitely Lily drama.  

              Our lunch bunch played Jeopardy and gossiped tirelessly about the other teachers in the building.  With about ten minutes left in the period, I stood and dumped my trash, telling the others that I needed to head up early and prep some things for my next class.  As I walked down the hall to my classroom, I was stopped by one of our guidance counselors who wanted to discuss one of my students with me. As we talked, I felt a shadow fall over my right shoulder.  I turned to see Max standing beside me.  
 

“Hey, Lily, can we talk a minute?” he asked.
 

“Not right now, Max.
 I’m in the middle of something.”  My voice sounded more annoyed than I meant for it to. I really could not have cared less about his interrupting this conversation.  But I also didn’t want to give him mixed signals about our relationship.  And the only way I knew how to do that was to avoid him like the plague until this awkward tension passed.  Though, I wasn’t sure it ever could pass if I kept refusing to talk to him.  
Oh, Jesus Christ, what was this chick saying?  
 

“Okay, well, I guess let me know if the call home doesn’t work,” the counselor said.
 

Wait, had I said I was calling home?
 “Will do.  Have a good one,” I replied.  

I turned to my left and continued walking toward my classroom.  But I was suddenly stopped short by a large, firm hand on my bicep.

“Wait, where are you going?  I need to talk to you.”  Max’s voice was exasperated.  

“Max, I don’t really think this is the time or place for us to talk,” I sighed, eyeing my surroundings for people who may be able to hear our conversation.  
 

“Fine, then let’s go out after work.
 I have some things I want to say.”

“I can’t, I have plans,” I explained.
 

“With him?” I felt Max’s anger build, almost hearing it rumble just beneath his skin.
 

“Yes, Max, with him.”  I said this flippantly, trying to end this conversation as quickly as possible.

“Whatever,” Max grumbled as he turned on his heels and stormed off in the opposite direction.  

Regret and sadness washed over me again as I watched him turn the corner and disappear from sight.  I didn’t know why I kept being such a bitch to Max. He hadn’t done anything to deserve it.  But I just didn’t know how to be normal with him after everything that had transpired between us.  Dread filled me as I realized
that Max and I were probably not going to be friends after all of this.  

Thirty-Three

Excitement began to fight its way into my body as the day drew to a close and my mini-date with Adam approached.  When I got home, I quickly straightened up before jumping in the shower.  Then, I returned to my room, pulled on a pair of jeans that hugged my ass perfectly and a low cut tank top that showed off the girls.  
 

At five, I heard Amanda come home.
 “Hey,” I said as I walked into the kitchen where she was grabbing a beer from the fridge.  
 

“Hey,” she replied as she chugged half of the beer.

“Rough day?” I asked with a smirk.

“What tipped you off?” she replied curtly as she finished off her beer.
“I’m going to get changed and then head back to the office.  My boss dumped this huge account on my desk this afternoon and said he wanted a list of all their assets from the past five years by tomorrow.  He’s such a fucking asshole.  I’ll see ya.”   Amanda stalked heavily from the room.  
 

I felt bad for her.
 As fucked up as her moral compass could be, she was fucking brilliant and could definitely find employment with an accounting firm that valued the great work she did.  She was really selling herself short.  
 

I looked around for something to keep me occupied for the next hour.
 Nothing jumped out at me, so I decided to pick up the phone and call my parents.  At my birthday, I’d vowed to keep in better tough with them.  It had meant a lot to me that they had come all the way out here for me and I wanted to keep our relationship on an upswing.  
 

My mom answered after the second ring.
 “Hi, Mom.”

“Oh, Lily, how are you doing, darling?”

“I’m doing well.  How are you guys?”
 

“We’re doing well, doing very well.
 Howard,” my mom yelled for my dad, “pick up the other phone.  It’s Lily.”

“Who?” I heard my father bellow.

“Lily.  Just pick up the phone.”  She directed her attention back to me, “I swear, this man’s going to drive me insane.  So, what’s new?  Anything?”

“No, nothing really.  I . . .”
 

“Hello?” my dad said loudly into the receiver.
 

“Hi, Dad.”

“Lily, good to hear from you.
 What have you been up to?”

“I was just telling Mom.  I haven’t really been up to much. We just got done spring break, so now it’s the home stretch until summer.  What have you guys been doing?”
 

“Oh, nothing,” my dad said absentmindedly, clearly wanting to discuss something else.
 “So, how’s that fella of yours?  Adam?”

“He’s such a nice man, Lily.  I’m so happy you found him,” my mom interjected.

“Yeah, that one’s a real keeper.  You hang on to him.  Listen to your old man.  I know what I’m talking about.  Some of the characters I see . . you wouldn’t even believe me if I told you.  No, sir, you have a real good man there.  He’ll treat you the way you should be,” my dad lectured.

“And what way is that, exactly?”  I couldn’t help but ask this question.   My relationship with my parents had been so strained.  I wanted to see how far we’d actually come.

“Why, like a princess of course.  That’s what you are.  My princess.”
 

My dad’s words brought stinging tears to my eyes.
 It had been years since he had called me his princess.  And as they raved on about Adam, it made me supremely happy to know that they actually thought I deserved him.  As our conversation came to a close, I promised to call them next week.  I hung up, feeling happy. 

Finally, there was a knock on my door around 6:15.  I pulled it open and was met with Adam’s bright smile.  

“Hey, handsome,” I said as I grinned like a lovesick teenager.  He wore gray sweatpants and a blue Nike long sleeved T-shirt.
  
Even dressed casually, this man oozed sex appeal.  
 

“Hey, beautiful.”
 He held up two bags of takeout.  “Panera.”

"Awesome," I replied as I stepped back from the door to allow Adam to enter.

He leaned in to give me a quick kiss before he walked through my living room and into my kitchen, plopping the bags down on the counter and moving toward the cupboards where I kept the paper plates.  As I watched him move about my kitchen, knowing the location of every item he needed, I smiled, feeling totally turned on by how well he knew everything about me.

“Where are we eating?” he asked.
 

“Living room?
 We could watch a movie or something.”

“Good call.”  Adam began piling items to carry to the living room.  I stepped in to grab the food bags as he carefully carried everything else and set it down on my coffee table.  “What movie?”
 

“Uh, I don’t know.”
 I grabbed the remote and began scrolling through the guide.  
 

“Ha, that one!
 We’ve gotta watch that one,” Adam laughed loudly.  
 

I knew exactly which one had caught his interest:
Bad Teacher.  
I grinned at him sardonically as I clicked the OK button on the remote.  “You think you’re a real riot, don’t you?” I said as I sat down beside him and began reaching for food.

“I have my moments,” he replied as he took a bite of his sandwich.  

We ate quickly and quietly.  Once we finished, I cleaned up our trash, and then we both settled into each other on the couch, his back against the arm of the couch and me nestled in front of him.  I was amazed at how well my body fit into his, all of my curves finding their exact symmetrical place against this man’s body. As if our bodies were really intended to be one.  
 

“So, this is what you do all day.
 I want my tax money back,” Adam joked in reference to the movie, as he hugged me tighter.

“Hell, no.  I need that money to support myself while I pursue my real career.”  

“And what would that be?”

“I’m going to write books that you can read for your book club.”

“Are you now?”  Adam moved slightly as he said this so that he could look at me, our faces inches apart.  “What kind of books?”  His tone had dropped a few decibels.  
 

I felt his erection beneath me.
 My skin prickled and my abdomen throbbed with expectation.  I shifted slightly, causing my clit to rub against the seam of my jeans.
 
Pleasure shot through me, but was quickly replaced with the need for more.

“Erotic books,” I replied, my voice deep and seductive.  
 

Adam moved in one deft movement, wrapping himself around me so that now, he hovered above me as I lay flat against the couch.
 “Oh, yeah?  What are you going to draw inspiration from?”
 

I reached down with my hand and tucked it into Adam’s sweatpants and beneath the elastic band of his boxer briefs.
 “I think this will give me all the inspiration I need,” I whispered as I began to stroke him slowly.  I briefly thought back to how he had pushed my hand away when I had tried to feel his length in the theater.  I never imagined that I would be comfortable touching him again after that night.  But, I was.  I touched Adam freely because I knew that he was mine to lick, and stroke, and do anything else that my heart desired.  And I was his.  
 

He groaned against my neck as I worked my hand up and down his shaft.
 He reached down with one hand and pushed his pants and boxers off as he bore his weight with the other arm.  Then he moved to my jeans, undoing the button and slowly lowering the zipper before rolling off of me so that he was kneeling beside the couch.  
 

My hand felt cold at the loss of the pulsing warmth his cock had provided.
 
He pulled my jeans down with both hands before his right reached behind him and pushed my coffee table away from us.
 
He then urged me up to sit as he slowly traced his fingers along the smooth skin of my stomach, inching my shirt up as they moved.  When my shirt was just below my breasts, he stopped and leaned in to kiss my navel.  

I leaned back, giving him greater access.  His kisses trailed softly up my abdomen as his hands pushed my shirt up to my neck, revealing the see through black lace bra I wore underneath.  His breath caught as he saw my swollen breasts and taut nipples straining against the material.  I caught the rest of my shirt and pulled it over my head as his tongue flicked at my nipples through the flimsy material.  

His hands reached behind me and unclasped my bra, though it didn’t fall.  Instead, he slowly, one at a time, allowed his fingers to pull the straps from my shoulders.  I then let it fall to my lap, coming to rest atop the panties that matched it.  He urgently pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his sinewy biceps, his flat, hard stomach, his smooth chest.  He pulled me forward so that I sat straight up as he gently separated my legs so that he could fit between them.  He ran kisses all along my collarbone as he guided my legs around his hips, urging them to latch behind him.  Then, he lifted me effortlessly and lowered me to the floor.  He snatched my bra from where it had fallen on my stomach before pulling my panties off.

Sitting back on his heels between my legs, he took his hard length in his hand and began massaging my swollen clit with it.   

“I’ve thought about this all day,” he whispered in a deep growl.  “Ever since I saw you this morning, I’ve gotten hard just thinking about what I was going to do to you tonight.”  

I moaned at his words.  I needed him to fill me.  The stimulation of my clit wasn’t enough.  I needed all of Adam.  I needed it now.

“Oh, Adam, I want you so badly,” I groaned as my head rolled from side to side in this sexual bliss.  
 

"I know you do, baby.
 I can feel how bad you want me.  You’re so wet.  You feel so good.”  

“Please, Adam, please.  Take me.”  

At my words, he pushed inside of me, causing all of my nerve endings to shoot pleasure throughout my body.  He stayed kneeling and placed the palm of his right hand onto my pelvis so that his fingers could swirl euphorically around my clit.  He applied gentle pressure downward with his palm so that the slight curve of his cock hit my g-spot with every thrust.  
 

The pleasure was nearly unbearable.
 My hands flung out, searching for something to latch onto as an anchor, to hold me in this place of brutal ecstasy, but found nothing.  Adam’s free hand found my breast and circled my nipples, causing me to arch my back in bliss.  This allowed him to palm a heavy breast in his large, rugged hand as his thumb stimulated my nipple.  
 

For a moment, I felt guilty.
 Guilty because he couldn’t possibly be feeling as sexually stimulated as I was.  I wished that I could give him more, but he was spending my body in every way, leaving me with nothing more to give than my deep, passion filled moans that reverberated low in my chest with every hard thrust of his cock.  Every speck of my body was tensing in anticipation of the release that was building in my pelvis.   

“I can’t wait any longer.  I’m going to come, Adam.”  

“Yeah, baby, come all over me.  I want to feel you pulse around me.  
 
Let go for me.  Let go.”  
 

His words sent me reeling.
 My body spasmed in response as he finally dropped his hands to either side of me and rested his weight on them as he pumped wildly into me.  I cried out, unable to hold that much pleasure inside of my body.  Finally, he slowed, uttering out only a soft, “Lily,” and my body relaxed.  He put his right forearm onto the floor beside me, and tilted my head toward him with his left.  His lips enveloped mine in a passionate kiss that was slow, but deep.  

I don’t know how long we lay there, but it wasn’t long enough.  It would have never been long enough.  When his lips finally left mine, they felt sore and swollen.  He lowered his head and nipped at my ear.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck.  “I love you, too, baby.”  I exhaled deeply, “I don’t deserve you.”