Pieces For You (40 page)

“One more thing…if you love Sam and you want to have a future with her, you need to confess your part in Heath’s death.  The guilt of withholding the truth from her will eat at you, and she may not forgive the betrayal if she finds out.  Plus, you are going to have a hard time explaining why you suddenly are abandoning or delaying your licensing.”

“I know, but I’m scared she’s going to run.  Violence is a trigger for her, and while the violence against Heath wasn’t done by my hands…I’m not exactly innocent.”

“You made the hard choices, now you have to deal with the consequences.  You need to tell her, Griffin.  There is a chance she can come to terms with your actions if you explain them to her…if she finds out some other way, you’re screwed—and not in the good way.”

“I know, Thia,” I said. 

“Take care of my girl,” she said with a smile.

“You, too,” I returned.

I drove back to The Stop and spent the rest of the afternoon hiding from the world in my office.  I knew I had to tell Sam the truth about Heath, even at the risk of losing her.  Our relationship couldn’t be strong if built on a lie.

In truth, the only thing I risked by punishing Heath was losing Sam; the rest was inconsequential in comparison.  Still, even if it cost me a lifetime with her, I wouldn’t regret doing everything in my power to avenge and protect her.  With enough effort, I could still obtain my State license.  It may take a few more years, but it was doable.  I was prepared to have Thia withdraw my degree; it was a pleasant surprise to find the last five years weren’t wasted.  Hell, I was prepared to serve time if it came down to it.

I needed to get this over with before I wound up with an ulcer.  I texted Sam to tell her I was on the way over with dinner, throwing up a prayer that I wouldn’t lose her again.

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."  -Henry David Thoreau

He was scaring the shit out of me.  He hadn’t spoken a word since he arrived and handed me the bag with dinner, after which he commenced pacing.  Dinner had been plated and on the table for five minutes, and he was still prowling the kitchen like a caged bear.  Every time my eyes caught his, I saw wariness before he broke contact.

“Griffin, babe,” I said, capturing his attention, “you’re freaking me out…big time.  Whatever you need to say, just spit it out.”

“I have to tell you something,” he began, then stopped abruptly.

“Oh my god, you are
not
breaking up with me,” I ordered.

He froze in shock.  His expression verged on comical, eyes wide and mouth parted.

“Hell no…never.  Why would you even say something so ridiculous?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you’re testing the durability of my kitchen tiles with your pacing?  Did you run over my dog?”

He smiled—finally.  “You don’t have a dog.”

“Then we’re in the clear.  Now tell me what has you acting like a nutcase, so I can tell you how much I love you and we can eat dinner.”

“I can’t be a psychologist.  My advisor won’t recommend me to the state licensing board.”

“What?” I screamed, enraged for him.  “That is complete bullshit.  You will be a fantastic therapist, I know it.  How dare he…what’s his name?  I’m going to have a word with him.  Who can we appeal to?”

“Whoa, love.  Slow down.  She’s right, I broke the rules…big time.  There is no way she can recommend me.”

Broke the rules?  Oh shit, it must be about the probation for kicking Robbie’s ass.  Hunter mentioned something like this could happen.  But it was one slip-up under extenuating circumstances…maybe if I explained the history, they would reconsider.

“Is this because of the Robbie thing?  I’ll go talk to them, explain what happened to me.  They have to understand.”

“No Lo, it has nothing to do with that.”

“Okay…” I drew out the word, communicating my confusion and prompting him to continue.

“My clinical hours…I did them at Riverhead Prison, assessing and counseling inmates,” he paused, inhaling deeply.  “On my last visit I met with Heath.  It was a few months ago…before he died.”

So Griffin didn’t kill him.  That was good news, but I still didn’t see the problem.

“It was right after I found out about the threats, and I was insanely pissed.  Wait, that’s bullshit—it’s true I was insanely pissed, but I had been planning it since you left for the Phoenix Centre.”

“It?”

“I told another inmate he was a pedophile so that he would be abused in prison.  I told Heath as much—essentially mindfucked him—and then I left.  I made sure he would suffer for the rest of his life for what he did to you and the others.  I didn’t plan for him to die…I knew it was a possibility, but that wasn’t my goal.  I’m sorry, Lo, I did it before the Robbie incident,” he sighed, running his hands down his face.  “I said I wouldn’t lie…” he muttered to himself, “honestly, even knowing how much the violence upset you, I still would have done it.  The threats…I couldn’t risk him hurting you.  He needed to know I could get to him if he tried anything.”

He turned away without looking at me, his posture rigid, as if bracing himself for my rejection and horror.

“I’m sorry, Lo.  I love you so fucking much, I couldn’t let it go…he had to pay for what he did, and there was no sentence the courts could have handed down that would have been enough for me.  I’m not a homicidal maniac, I swear…except when it comes to someone hurting you.”

“You crazy dumbass,” I said, the shock beginning to wear off.

He spun to face me, anguish clouding his beautiful features.

“You put your dream of helping others at risk just to punish the asshole that hurt me?  I’m not sure if I should punch you or kiss you.  And then, to top it off, you think I’m going to leave you for trying to protect me?”  I paused to consider.  “Punch.  I’m definitely going to punch you for being an idiot…then I’m going to kiss you for being my hero.”

I rose from my chair, made my way over to him, and punched him in the stomach, which likely hurt my poor hand more than his rock-hard abs.  Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him until my lungs burned for air. 

When I pulled back to breathe, I looked up to find him smiling like a doofus.

“I told you most of my reaction to the Robbie beat-down was just from seeing violence, not necessarily that you kicked that dickwad’s ass.  He deserved it.  I’ve worked through a lot of my issues with the violence, and I can separate past from present now.  Actually, there is a twisted part of me that would have liked to see Heath get his…not his death, but his face when you told him what his future held.  See, I’m just as messed up as you are…actually, maybe this proves you’re just as messed up as I am.  You were right—you’re totally not perfect and I love you even more.”

He grabbed my waist and threw me up in the air before catching me against his chest.

“God, I love you,” he said before kissing me senseless.  “Are you hungry?”

“For something,” I said, nipping his lip and grabbing his ass—and what an ass it was.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

He led me to my bedroom and proceeded to show his gratitude in all of my favorite ways…and some innovative new ones.  I loved this man with every tiny microscopic piece of me.  Maybe it made me a little crazy, but the fact that Griffin had risked everything he had worked for to protect me and punish Heath was just another reason he was perfect for me.  I wanted this man for the rest of my life.  There would never be another.

When I awoke the next morning, my head was cushioned on Griffin’s chest but something was off.  I raised myself and studied my room for a moment—our heads were at the foot of the bed; a few of the pictures on my wall were crooked and the knick-knacks previously on top of my dresser were now on the floor.  I smiled, remembering the havoc we wreaked last night.  Good times.

I flopped back down on his chest and nuzzled in.  The rumble of his laughter shook my head.

“We made a mess.”

“We did, and as long as you help clean up, we can make another one tonight.”

“Deal.”

We lay quietly, enjoying the easy silence of intimacy.  Life was so good.  No threats, no secrets, no meltdowns—we had found our happily ever after…finally.

“She was right.”

“Hmm?”

“Yesterday after she told me she wouldn’t recommend my license, Thia said I had to tell you what happened so we could move on.  She’s nuts, but she’s never wrong…it’s obnoxious.”

“Excuse me?” I said, shooting upright to offer him an incredulous stare.

“I forgot to mention that part yesterday, didn’t I?  Thia is…was my advisor.”

“You’ve been keeping tabs on me with my therapist,” I shrieked, slapping his chest.  “You asshole…that bitch!  How could you?”

There was nothing I wouldn’t have shared with Griffin myself, but knowing he had gone behind my back to garner information about me from my therapist was a horrible betrayal of trust.  I moved to leave the bed and storm out of the room, but a massive body tackled me to the bed, pinning me beneath his weight, grasping both of my wrists in one of his huge hands.

“Calm down, Lo-baby.  It’s not what you think, I swear.”

I refused to look at him I was so pissed.  He used his free hand to turn my face to him so I shut my eyes, denying him in the only way I could. 

“Baby, I—”

“Don’t you call me that!  I’m furious with you, you oversized snoop.  I liked Thia, she was mine.  You had no right to take her.  Now I have to find a new therapist…start all over.  You know how many sessions it’s going to take to cover what a jackass you are?”  I said hotly, never opening my eyes.

“I knew Thia first; she was my advisor for five years.  You don’t own her and I hate to break it to you, but I suspect she may be cheating on you…I heard she has other clients,” he teased. 

I was in no mood to joke, which I illustrated by trying to buck him off me—now that was a joke.  I didn’t even move him a millimeter.

“I had nothing to do with Ev contacting Thia.  I didn’t even know she was your therapist ‘til that first dinner after you returned from the Phoenix Centre.  I’m sure Thia realized our connection when you said my name, seeing as it’s not common, but we
never
discussed you.  The first time we even acknowledged we both knew you was yesterday,
after
she was no longer my advisor.  Even then, we didn’t actually talk about you.  She just told me that I had to be honest with you if I wanted to keep you.  She also told me I better take care of
her
girl.”

My anger waned as he spoke, until I was left grinning that Thia had called me
her
girl.  I was totally her favorite.  I guess I couldn’t fault either of them for knowing the other.  I believed Griffin when he said they had never discussed me, but I was still pissed.  He should have told me sooner.  I opened my eyes and gave him a stern look.

“I forgive you, but I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me before now.  I had a right to know.  I wouldn’t have stopped seeing Thia, but that was my decision to make.”

“You’re right, Lo.  I’m sorry.”

“Fine…and no gossiping about me behind my back.”

“We never talked about you other than the brief exchange yesterday.”

I nodded, accepting him at his word.  There was nothing left for me to say.  I wasn’t pleased, but I wasn’t going turn it into World War III.

In a moment of intense clarity, I recognized our position.  He had me fully restrained beneath him.  I couldn’t move an inch unless he allowed me.  Even my face was still anchored in his hand, albeit lovingly.

“Um, babe?  You’re squishing me.”

He studied me without moving.

“And I’m not freaking out.  At. All.  In fact…” I trailed off, letting him follow my thought to its conclusion.

“Really?” I saw the interest spark in his slate blue eyes.

“Well, we are dressed for it.”

He laughed, and I couldn’t believe how far I’d come—trapped and defenseless while naked, and the only feeling rising up in me was lust.  Amazing.

He released my wrists and braced his weight on his forearms, freeing me.  The hand that had been holding my chin to prevent me from looking away moved to caress my cheek as he kissed me tenderly.  Every second was breathtaking.  As we made love, he possessed me—owning every inch of my body, commanding its response with his words and movement.  Sex with Griffin was always out of this world, but this time, it was as if the final piece snapped into place for us.  Trusting each other and ourselves with nothing between us.